At one point my obituary was going to read "CEO Of GE Dies Violently In Casino Orgy." Now what's it going to say, "Middle Manager Of A Philadelphia Porn Distributor Never Wakes Up"?
To quote George W. Bush, Lemon, bring em on. He said that to me in Galveston when a bus load of drunk debutantes tried to get on his boat. It was named Mr. Waterboat. Did it sink? Yes. Because there were too many people on it. But the spirit of his words live on.
Well Reverend Gary said choosing is a sin, but then Reverend Todd said Reverend Gary is dead, long live Reverend Todd!
We decided to adopt because Megan's real career oriented right now. Didn't want to wreck her boobs. Couple months later, Boom! we got Black Dennis. His name is "Black Dennis"?! That is racist! Yeah right Liz. The guy with the black son is racist
Don't vote, black people! In the amount of time it takes to vote you can play three games of pool. Three. Now that's fresh. Paid for by the Committee to Reinvade Vietnam
i know this is important to you. But you are off the rails Jack. Thanks for the complement, Lemon. Train travel is for hobos.
Anyone know any cool new sex positions? My girlfriend is in town and I'm trying to keep it caliente. Oh, Lutz, are you still pretending that Karen is real? What?! Would a fake woman have an email at JDLutz.com/Karen/proof?
My grandfather dug out the Whitehaven quarry and my other grandfather filled it back up with sludge from the eraser factory.
"i'm sorry are you being sarcastic? canadians have a hard time recognizing it because we don't have a big jewish population."
Michael Keaton's performance in the 100th episode is really underrated. Jack: "You know what I love..." MK: "Mystery novels written by janitors?" That and "I can't believe this is happening on my last day"
In my opinion, only two comedians have ever pulled off the "make him a sandwich" trope. One is Dave Chappelle and the other is Tracy Morgan. "Why don't you shut your mouth, back that ass up, and make me a sandwich." Him huffing onto the stage and delivering that line to Rachel Ray is perfection.
Lemon to Kenneth: "But you don't have any applicable skills" Donaghy: "He's white and has hair, the sky is the limit"
Nuh uh. Superman does good. You're doing well. Just started a rewatch. I apologize in advance for bumping this thread with quotes and videos over the next few weeks
By all means, man. I watch 30 Rock several times a week to fall asleep so I welcome someone to talk it over with.
I thought Colleen had changed once in the mid 90s. It turned out she had a tumor pressing on her brain's pleasure center! A tumor those quack doctors removed.