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Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by HotMic, Apr 14, 2020.
Welcome to the Friend Zone
MLS I will never have access to that sort of world, but allow me to help however I can from the land of 2 child Midwestern monogamy (I'm sorry you had to read that).
I think you might not totally understand what you stand to win, here, wrt the milf fire in question.
The children are not a nuissance. An added challenge certainly, but if Ms. Duff chooses you to tongue punch her fartbox, do you know what that means? Not only did you play the game well, but so well, in fact, that an active mother of three young children carved out the time for you to do that to her. I don't think I have adequate words to convey how excellent that would be.
People who have kids- time and energy are priceless to a degree people without kids can't fathom.
So if or when she nods, puts down the baby, and says "c'mon, give it," please don't merely count it among your previous conquests with young, childless, virile celebrity nymphomaniacs whose time doesn't matter. You be sure to put that quarter in the other pocket.
Fuckin wisdom right there
at this thread
That's some Hunter S. Thompson shit right there.
Her birthday is two weeks away, everyone get excited.
I didn't know she and Comrie divorced. Her new husband seems terrible.
Discussing Michigan hockey
Just saying be a shame to seek the carnal only to miss the divine
It’s an open relationship so he’s just a figure head.
I can’t tell if I’m just jealous of her husband or he’s a straight up douche. Probably both.
Don't fucking get me started, terrible.
He's probably a great DJ, though.
I was hoping MLS could close the deal without having to break out the big guns, but she’s clearly failing in her mission. Time to take the task seriously, and that starts with luring the lovely Ms. Duff to South Carolina. And that’s when you follow the guaranteed gameplan:
Seriously, first dates are to impress so take her to Ruth's Chris on Senate St near the Capital in Cola.
Call ahead to make reservations, explain it's a special occasion for two and you'd like a good waiter as well as a quiet table. (Dont say what the occasion is they'll just assume it's big)
Pick her up in time to relax and enjoy the short ride into Cola preferably after dark so as you come over the hill on 321 past the Food Lion (or whatever it is now) you can comment on how beautiful the skyline lights of downtown Cola appear but they truly can't hold a candle to just how beautiful she looks tonight!
Once at RC's prove just how special you think she is by pulling up to the entrance and using the valet parking. They'll ask your party name and from there the staff takes over.
Trust me on this, eat before you pick her up as you want to join her in eating at the restaurant but not a big meal; (pull up their drink menu before you go and pick a simple wine or mixed drink you feel she'll like (ask her friends). As soon as the waiter appears order both your drinks as if you do this often as well as the appetizer - BBQ Shrimp. It's tasty simple and reasonably price. Girls enjoy shrimp. Plus it begins to fill her stomach as she'll need to because she will end up ordering a salad for dinner. If you order something she likes she'll be that more impressed by your efforts).
When the menus come allow her to place her order first by insisting she feel free to order whatever she desires and encourage her to take her time, no rushing you said she's pretty so enjoy the scenery. They never order steak so it wont be expensive. Bet she orders the Wedge Salad.**never appear to be looking at any prices! Big turnoff*** You then follow up by ordering a small steak or something similar because you'll have already viewed the menu b4 hand. The Pork Chop runs about $28 and is easy to cut as well as eat slowly in smaller chunks. Women like women who are decisive and know what they want! You're not hungry so your meal will not be expensive nor large so you have time to actually talk to her instead of chewing chucks of meat! You know Toby Keith wrote that song "I wanted talk about me" for a reason. Southern Ladies will never admit it but they do want to talk about themselves and they want you to be overwhelmingly interested in them, so talk to her about her! Don't brag about yourself cause you can get into your own pants anytime you like, her's is a different story especially if she has some class about herself.
How you end the dinner and before you have the car brought around will determine where your future lays with this young lady. After the table is clear, order coffee even if you hate the stuff, ladies love coffee and ordering it as if you just always do so after meals will tell her you're totally different than any other guy she's dated. If you cant drink the stuff just sip it. She'll drink it! Don't ask if she would like some just order it!!!!
About half way thru the cup of coffee sit up all excited and ask her if she's ever had Creme Brulee and insist she try it......most young ladies havent and it'll be a treat for her and show her you're adventurous.
Now if the evening has progress like you hoped in other words she is enjoying your company and you hers, then order one Brulee with two spoons! Again, encourage her to try it first, wait for her reaction then laughing dip your spoon in. Her reaction afterwards will tell you all you need to know about how she is now feeling about you. If shes offended you put your spoon in her Brulee, then you're in trouble and this date just got panic 911!
Again, if she's into you you'll know it by now, so remember to stay relaxed and not in a rush. Let her enjoy being the Princess as long as possible.
When all is ready request the check. A good waiter never brings it, they wait until you request it. And please make sure the damn card works before you get to the restaurant! Never pay with cash - that yells, broke & I still live with my Mom! Even if you do you don't want to admit it.
Finally, assuming all has gone well, just before handing your car ticket to the valet, ask her if she's ever seen the State House at night. Don't wait for an answer just take her hand and walk her over. Taking your time walk her around the entire building pointing out where Sherman's troups hit the building with their cannons. Front right corner where the stars mark the spots. This tells her you're smart and interesting. Then find a lighted area to sit and talk. Sit next to her and if it's chilly take your coat off (you are wearing a sports coat right? Blazer w/pressed jeans and nice white cotton button down colar shirt, no golf shirts or tee shirts with COCKS blasting out) and place it over her shoulders without asking. What you're hoping/looking for is her sneaking a smell and smiling, if she does you're in the red zone! What you do from here is your business but she'll never forget you and even if it doesn't work out between you two, 2 things will happen in the future. 1) she'll never forget you and will compare every other girl to you. 2) she'll tell all of her girl friends how nice and wonderful your date was and every single one of them will be wanting to date YOU!
All this impressing will cost you around $150-200! Oh and dont forget to drive the Focus, Pinto, Clunker, SUV or even Red neck deer hunting truck through a car wash and yes pay the extra $5 for the interior cleaning with the Baby Fresh smelling stuff! She might live in Redneckville, I have family there as well, but for once she'd love not to be treated like she's Gretchen Wilson's baby sister and instead appreciated for just being an intelligent, beautiful young lady. Treat her right, get to know her then take her out on that four wheeler and your muddy girl dreams will come true!
Don't screw this up!
What, no wardrobe advice?
Accessories. The more the better.
Why am I so invested in this stupid saga?
I was just going to try to go down on her in the bathroom or if she gets caught in a dryer, but I'll take this under consideration
Moms do a lot of laundry.
How bout a theater?
Hello, what else do I need to provide?
Everyone loves a good fantasy novel from time to time
You clearly didn’t read it as he suggests pressed jeans a white button down and a blazer.
I forget, was that GOAT date advice from the SCar rivals board?
I promise no one misses the devine
Girls enjoy shrimp.
So the lead in his pencil didn't do it for you or is he a prude?
You should just become her emotional support then abuse that trust in true Hollywood fashion.
Open and shut case.
Yea but only if you’re talking dicks
Out-act the actor. I like it.
Nah that's actually dating advice Clown Baby was giving to bertwing back before he met his wife
trust me thats what Arrec Bardwin is implying
"She asked about you"
I've never lied on the board, and that's considering it has included lions, porn stars, politicians, and celebrity stories.
“Is that girl stalking me?”
But come on, I'm a dream scenario stalker
Good luck MLS. We're all counting on you.
What the fuck did I do to get dragged into this?
Well shit, man
I'm unfortunately in the position of my ex having hooked up with her and me now trying to breach the trenches of that situation
But I'm confident, it just needs to be in a normal Brazzers setting
I don't hang out with skiedfrillet . I work with him and that's it! I tried to introduce him to a few nice people, he made a fool of himself, I don't mess with him. That's not me.
Someone who googles “Hillary Duff threesome” is going to be quite confused when they click a link that takes them here.