The Thread about Teaching and the Dumbasses We Teach

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by audrew, Aug 9, 2010.

  1. Stagger Lee

    Stagger Lee Crazy. Sexy. Cool.
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    It was a joke. Calm down everyone
     
  2. Emma

    Emma Wisconsin
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    Another Bob Ross incident

    One of the poor EAs got plastered in the hair and face with it
     
    Luka, Crepeswithasmile and Baron like this.
  3. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
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    Highlight so far from my day during retesting for a state test. Currently stuck holding my 5th block.

    Student: coach pearl, can I charge my phone? It’s about to die!
    Me: what percentage is it on?
    Student: 60%!
    Me::awshucks:
     
    #1553 pearl, Nov 29, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2018
  4. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Email from parent:

    “As natives to Texas and ties to Texas A&M, we feel that it is important that Johnny So and So watch the funeral of President Bush. He will be leaving school at 9:30 and returning upon the conclusion of the service.”

    What the fuck is this?
     
    BlazingRebel, TC, ashy larry and 6 others like this.
  5. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    "Ties to a&m"
    Sounds about like most aggys I know
     
  6. Jake Barnes

    Jake Barnes LOOK AT THAT LASER!!!
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    After almost half a year in 6th, I can say that I severely underestimated just how big of babies kids at that age are.
     
    Luka, BlazingRebel, TC and 2 others like this.
  7. Biship

    Biship Well-Known Member
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    Private schools where I am don't pay shit and there is no pension.
     
  8. gilstein21

    gilstein21 Tight Rip 26 Seal Right
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    So the vaping epidemic is in full force but one of my wife’s students hit it too much one morning and shit himself at school. All up his back like a baby exploding out of a diaper.
     
    Hatfield, Luka, bertwing and 16 others like this.
  9. Jake Barnes

    Jake Barnes LOOK AT THAT LASER!!!
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    Did not know there was a correlation
     
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  10. gilstein21

    gilstein21 Tight Rip 26 Seal Right
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    He had a reaction to whatever he was vaping
     
  11. I<3privatedances

    I<3privatedances enjoys himself in the champagne room
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    Are you a school psych?
     
  12. ashy larry

    ashy larry marcy projects, son
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    counselor
     
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  13. TC

    TC I don't do it for the gram, I do it for Compton
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    What is the craftiest trick y'all know of students pulling trying to stretch out a paper? Was just discussing this with someone. I know about raise the font size only on punctuation marks. But have you heard of type shit in white at the end to raise the the word count?

    [​IMG]
     
    941Gator, Wellen Dowd, Luka and 4 others like this.
  14. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    If we are talking paper length, then increasing character spacing by 0.3. It's basically indistinguishable by the naked eye, you REALLY have to be a die hard font expert to notice it, but with a full page of text, 1 inch margins, Calibri, 12 point font, single spaced, it bumped three whole lines of text down to the next page. This was with no paragraphs, an actual whole page of text with no empty space. Not much, but if you are talking 10+ page paper. Double space it like what was required when i went to school, and that's 1/9th of a page of "extra" text. If you need to do a 10-page paper, you now only need to write nine pages with 0.3 character spacing.
     
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  15. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Likewise, also increase line spacing to 2.1. Also nearly indistinguishable to the naked eye without really close examination.

    And always send that shit in PDF unless the professor asks for a different format. They can't easily figure out if you did sly stuff like this if they don't have the original file to open in Word or Google Docs.
     
  16. Jake Barnes

    Jake Barnes LOOK AT THAT LASER!!!
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    My sixth graders still handwrite most work, and the abundance of five-word lines can be humorous.
     
    ashy larry likes this.
  17. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    I know your pain my kids do the same and they are horrendous spellers
     
    Luka, BlazingRebel and Jake Barnes like this.
  18. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
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    1 more day ...
     
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  19. Jake Barnes

    Jake Barnes LOOK AT THAT LASER!!!
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    Last day for teachers here was yesterday :smug:
     
  20. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
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    When do you go back?
     
  21. Han Solo

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    Watching holiday movies all day in all my classes tomorrow. Fuck you school board!
     
  22. Jake Barnes

    Jake Barnes LOOK AT THAT LASER!!!
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    Jan 7
     
  23. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    Did this today and we have assemblies and an all middle school activity tomorrow
     
    #1573 duc15, Dec 20, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2018
    Luka and Han Solo like this.
  24. I<3privatedances

    I<3privatedances enjoys himself in the champagne room
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    1/2 day workday tomorrow then I am getting CRUNK, because in Kansas in 2018 that's still a thing...to me.
     
  25. TC

    TC I don't do it for the gram, I do it for Compton
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    Professor Resigns Amid Accusations That He Exploited Grad Students With ‘Modern Slavery’

    A professor at the University of Missouri at Kansas City has resigned amid accusations that he exploited graduate students at the School of Pharmacy for free labor...In November,The Kansas City Star reported that Mitra, a longtime professor of pharmaceutical sciences, had pressured students into performing tasks like lawn work, caring for his home while he and his wife were away, walking his dog, and other chores.

    https://www.chronicle.com/article/Professor-Resigns-Amid/245492

    I mean, who among us hasn't used students for basic lawn chores?
     
    Han Solo likes this.
  26. Jake Barnes

    Jake Barnes LOOK AT THAT LASER!!!
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    Y’all got kids running around today with Xs on them for XXXTentacion?

    Kids are acting like he was Gandhi. :facepalm:
     
    ashy larry likes this.
  27. Han Solo

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    I had to look it up on Wikipedia cuz I have no idea what the fuck that is. Apparently it’s a rapper.

    I also learned that one of his “other names” is Young Dagger Dick, so all in all it was a great learning experience.
     
  28. Crepeswithasmile

    Crepeswithasmile Well-Known Member
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    :roll::roll:
     
  29. Emma

    Emma Wisconsin
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    We got 8 inches of snow on Tuesday then another 7 on Wednesday and now schools closed today because it's like 25 below and next week we're supposed to get even colder with more snow storms
     
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  30. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    All we need to get schools closed is a slight patch of ice on the superintendent’s driveway.
     
  31. Emma

    Emma Wisconsin
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    Come take some of our snow, plenty to go around

    Supposed to be 45 below up by my cabin just this week and colder next

    I hate Wisconsin
     
  32. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
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    Emma likes this.
  33. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    hardcorekickball
     
  34. hardcorekickball

    hardcorekickball working fire
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  35. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    There is no sport where a team with a legit college recruit on it thoroughly dominates the other team more than girl’s basketball. Our school’s girl’s basketball team beat our crosstown rival 65-6.
     
  36. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    We have a team like that in our league. They beat someone 100-15
     
    Han Solo likes this.
  37. Jake Barnes

    Jake Barnes LOOK AT THAT LASER!!!
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    I would add softball (if the girl is a pitcher).
     
    Loran likes this.
  38. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    You think that's bad, D3 Trinity (DC) played D3 Wilson College and lost 127-7. Trinity played all five starters for 40 minutes each. Wilson ranks in the bottom 50 of D3 women's basketball.
    https://wilsonphoenix.com/boxscore.aspx?id=1493&path=wbball
     
  39. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Vaping is dumb...
    Vaping at school is extremely dumb...
    Recording yourself vaping at school and posting it to social media is a level of stupidity hitherto undreamt of.

    So, my 4th period was ruined because approximately half of my class was prominently featured in the video that the administration knew about within 3 minutes of it getting posted. Ugh
     
  40. milquetoast

    milquetoast I hate grapes
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    Shit is all over our school. "BUT IT'S NOT POT WHY CAN'T I DO IT!!!???!!"
     
  41. Emma

    Emma Wisconsin
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    Looking forward to a new school district
     
  42. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    I have had 10 or so students suspended this year for vaping, 3 currently
     
    milquetoast likes this.
  43. I<3privatedances

    I<3privatedances enjoys himself in the champagne room
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    Roughly half of the ODR's for my school are vaping related...teenagers are dumb. I was dumb, I remember smoking cigarettes during open lunch cause I thought it was cool
     
    Artoo likes this.
  44. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    We were at least smart enough to know you dont smoke on campus
     
  45. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit Got my name painted on my shirt
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    How many weed pens float around all day at school?
     
    LetItSoak likes this.
  46. milquetoast

    milquetoast I hate grapes
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    Not as much. They know vaping is treated as less of an offense than pot. Now brownies on the other hand...we got some bakers on our campus.
     
    ashy larry likes this.
  47. Biship

    Biship Well-Known Member
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    Parent teacher conferences got snowed out

    4 day weekend
     
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  48. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    We had an ecstasy issue earlier this year. I teach in a middle school.
     
    gopack2104 and ashy larry like this.
  49. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
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    The fuck ...
     
  50. Biship

    Biship Well-Known Member
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    Former student

    8th grader got busted with lsd