The Thread about Teaching and the Dumbasses We Teach

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by audrew, Aug 9, 2010.

  1. OZ

    OZ Old balls

    good god, having said this I have little doubt I was probably just as lost as they were at that age. But I would have never plagiarized a movie review or thought cheetos were exceptionally pleasing either....I heard steak and prime rib are nice.
     
  2. NP13

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    cheetos smell and taste good :idk:
     
  3. NCHusker88

    NCHusker88 We named our yam Pam. It rhymed.
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    hey what's wrong with cheetos
     
  4. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Im sure a lot of schools had this but at my HS if you had a study hall you could be an aide for a teacher. Pretty much what you did was occasionally grade papers, sit there, etc.

    I did it for our O line coach who played college football and was around 6-5 290. When he was in the mood he'd find the smallest reason to go off, go on a 10 minute rant, then come back to the little office I sat in cracking up giving me high fives, it was fucking hilarious.
     
  5. Clutch

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    jax and cheese doodles >>> cheetos

    yeah I said it :dealwithit:
     
  6. righty

    righty Respect The Pouch
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  7. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Talking Westerns in my class the last couple of days. Mother fucking GUY in my class had no idea who fucking John Wayne or Clint Eastwood are!! I was proud that the rest of my class starting verbally abusing him for his ignorance.
     
  8. Fuzzy Zoeller

    Fuzzy Zoeller College football > NFL

    :facepalm:
     
  9. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Another facepalm worth item is that he said he's only seen 2 Westerns in his life: Wild, Wild West and Shanghai Noon.
     
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  10. FatKilmer

    FatKilmer *MUSHED*
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    Is he black?
     
  11. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Indian or Arab. Not sure which.
     
  12. Jalen Rose

    Jalen Rose I'll allow it.
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    lol wow.
     
  13. Fuzzy Zoeller

    Fuzzy Zoeller College football > NFL

    Same thing IMO.
     
  14. Seavie

    Seavie Loading tweet...
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    :americafuckyeah:
     
  15. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    Same thing, I agree.

    You know how you tell if they're indian? If his last name is patel. If its not he's something else
     
  16. Clutch

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    there are so many people in my area with patel as their last name
     
  17. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Spit take in class today!!!

    So, a kid was trying to shorten a video clip on FinalCut this morning, and he asks me from across the room, "How do I shorten this?" My obvious response was, "Just think about baseball."

    Girl sitting next to me and drinking coffee spits it out in another girl's face!! AWESOME!
     
  18. brobson

    brobson Warm, generous, and not disappointed in Snapchat
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  19. og543ss

    og543ss ready to party? by party I mean smoke cigarettes
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    the fact 15 year old girl understands what you are referencing is the reason I pray I dont have a girl whenever I have kids
     
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  20. Seavie

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    Tag really makes me laugh now.
     
  21. Fuzzy Zoeller

    Fuzzy Zoeller College football > NFL

    Kids are allowed to have coffee in your class?
     
  22. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    I do in my 1st period class of 14 kids that produce the morning news show.
     
  23. BC Inabinet

    BC Inabinet Well-Known Member

    now thats fucked up
     
  24. Darko the Snowman

    Darko the Snowman Crushing blow for AU. It's Georgia.
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    Ive been seriously considering going back to school to become a teacher recently. This thread helps.
     
  25. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    don't do it... unless you have nothing else worth doing
     
  26. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey is this thing on?
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    haha
     
  27. Larry Sura

    Larry Sura Tuyuq. Fratzy
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    man who knew too little is one of my favorites.
     
  28. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!! I had 2 kids that started dating in my intro class year sign up to be in my television production class together this year. They fucking broke up yesterday. Now, I gotta deal with their relationship shit, and 2 students in a class of 14 who don't want to speak to each other.
     
  29. Seavie

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    Scrap your current lesson plan, and do something related to Romeo and Juliet. Preferably a play that the students have to act out. I'll give you 3 guesses as to who is Romeo, and who is Juliet, but you are only going to need 1.
     
  30. Clutch

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    can you give us a clue?
     
  31. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
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    :bow: :golfclap: to you audrew
     
  32. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    Last 2 weeks of school:

    Naked Gun
    The Social Network
    Princess Bride
    The King of Kong
    Walk the Line

    Quiz over The King of Kong.

    Final Exam


    Kids out!!!!!!!!!!
     
  33. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    Oh...actual test questions from my classes:

    2. What is the setting of Pygmalion?
    A. London at the turn of the 20th Century
    B. London at the height of the Elizabethan Era
    C. 17th Century Belgium
    D. The post-apocalyptic Australian wasteland, where gasoline has become the most precious commodity and one man stands alone in the face of marauding biker gangs. His name…Mad Max.
     
  34. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    50. Here’s the situation: You’re in the market for a video game console. What you’re looking for in this new console is:
    1) The ability to play Blu-ray discs
    2) A free wireless adaptor built into the system
    3) Free access to the Internet using that free wireless adaptor
    4) Wireless controllers you don’t need batteries for, because this isn’t the 1970s anymore, am I right?
    5) A system that doesn’t break if you breathe on it wrong
    6) Better exclusive games like the incredibly thrilling titles God of War 3, Little Big Planet, Uncharted, Heavy Rain, and Metal Gear Solid 4.
    7) Free social networking games like Playstation Home.
    8) A network that people are so jealous of, they hack into it to try to level the playing field

    What type of video game console are you going to buy?
    A. Xbox 360
    B. Nintendo Wii
    C. I can’t buy it, because it’s not possible to create a gaming system that incredibly awesome.
    D. Playstation 3
     
  35. Poe Dameron

    Poe Dameron The best fucking pilot in the galaxy
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    good movies to watch in school. which King King did you show?
     
  36. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    King OF Kong...not King Kong. Earlier this year I showed my kids the original King Kong from 1933. Why would I show them any other version?
     
  37. Poe Dameron

    Poe Dameron The best fucking pilot in the galaxy
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    my bad, selective reading on my part. The original King Kong is the only way to go.
     
  38. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    Wait...are you one of my students?
     
  39. Seavie

    Seavie Loading tweet...
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    Ed McMahon Hiyo
     
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  40. Poe Dameron

    Poe Dameron The best fucking pilot in the galaxy
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    yeah...
     
  41. Jack Parkman

    Jack Parkman Well-Known Member
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    Showed my ESE kids Twister the other day, I said "how many of you have seen this movie?"



    1 kid raised his hand and thought I said Twilight



    :facepalm:
     
  42. Larry Sura

    Larry Sura Tuyuq. Fratzy
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    now that's sad.
     
  43. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    It's not really that sad...it's a shitty movie made when this year's high school seniors were 3.
     
  44. Jack Parkman

    Jack Parkman Well-Known Member
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    Re: School's out, bitches!


    Do modern high school kids have TNT/FX/TBS blocked from their televisions?
     
  45. Jack Parkman

    Jack Parkman Well-Known Member
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    Oh and I was talking to this :w2d: kid about NBA basketball and he brought up Ray Allen, I asked him if he remembered He Got Game and he looked at me like I had 9 eyeballs
     
  46. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    Too busy watching Wild N Out and Teen Mom
     
  47. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    he said ray allen dude, not jesus shuttlesworth
     
  48. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    27. How do Pickering and Higgins get Eliza into the ball?

    A. They avoid the line and go through the kitchen, just in like Goodfellas
    B. They say she is their cousin.
    C. They say she is Pickering’s adopted daughter.
    D. They sneak her in under their coats
     
  49. Jack Parkman

    Jack Parkman Well-Known Member
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    Re: School's out, bitches!


    well to be fair I gave him a chance, we were talking about hs players who jumped to the NBA


    him: what about ray allen?

    Me: Jesus Shuttlesworth? Negative he went to UCoon

    him: who?

    Me: You know from the movie He Got Game?

    Him: oh.....no never heard of it
     
  50. RO

    RO Half the Man StinkeePinkee is, literally.
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    Re: School's out, bitches!

    So I'm subbing in a Seniors only econ class yesterday, and everyones done and just chilling out so I'm asking them all what they plan on doing after graduation, I get the normal answers "Join the military," "go to college," "take a semester off," etc. I get to this tall rail skinny black dude who I've had in a few other classes before and I ask him what he plans on doing, he looks me dead in the eye, doesn't smile, and says, "I'm going to be a porn star," nearly fell out of my chair laughing.