This man has had enough of women on dating sites and bagel shops

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Jack Parkman, Jul 10, 2019.

  1. Prospector

    Prospector I am not a new member
    Arkansas Razorbacks

    Bagel chips are good
     
    Hatfield, cdaysker, dump and 2 others like this.
  2. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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    Wonder if he's related to this thing?

     
    DaveGrohl likes this.
  3. EdmondDantes

    EdmondDantes Both winner in league and apparently at life, haha
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    I don't like heavy carbs for breakfast but I'm a big bagel sandwich for lunch guy.
     
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  4. Jack Parkman

    Jack Parkman Well-Known Member
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  5. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    It’s bread dial back the hyperbole
     
    40wwttamgib likes this.
  6. Wu

    Wu LKY did nothing wrong
    TMB OG

    Bagel is one of the most unhealthy things you can have for breakfast

    But goddamn is a good one super tasty
     
  7. Wu

    Wu LKY did nothing wrong
    TMB OG

    I pray for the goyim
     
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  8. racer

    racer Fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks.
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    What about 6’2” but you could never eat a bagel again?
     
    steamengine likes this.
  9. Gunners

    Gunners Nicking a living
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    I don't believe I'm short at 5'11 but I'll take 3 inches to never eat an easily replaceable food ever again.

    You 5'9 fellas, you aren't short.

    5'7 and below, you're short.
     
    BellottiBold, Blu Tang Clan and dump like this.
  10. TIL Wu has fucked a bagel before.
     
  11. I would gladly take three more inches if for nothing more than so pants will fit better.
     
    BellottiBold and dump like this.
  12. racer

    racer Fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks.
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    The short guy was an asshole, but was the tackle really necessary?
     
    shawnoc, BayouMafia, TC and 4 others like this.
  13. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Surf Wyoming
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    Few things I love more in life than giving New Yorkers shit for acting like good bagels and pizza somehow transform the entire city into Cordon Bleu trained chefs. Congrats on mastering two of the simplest foods imaginable, I guess?
     
    tjsblue, The Banks, Hatfield and 5 others like this.
  14. Gaknight

    Gaknight Trae Young’s #1 fan
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    Have we decided Long Island or New Jersey yet?
     
    Jack Parkman likes this.
  15. dump

    dump #YangGang2020
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    DemocratAntifaAnarchy

    what about 5’8”
     
    pbfp2008 likes this.
  16. racer

    racer Fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks.
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    The Banks, ARCO, dallasdawg and 8 others like this.
  17. Prospector

    Prospector I am not a new member
    Arkansas Razorbacks

    Good way to eliminate any chance of a lucky or low blow imo
     
  18. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    That sweet spot not falling behind but not showing off
     
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  19. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Well-Known Member

    How’s this guy not been identified yet?
     
    Prospector likes this.
  20. EdmondDantes

    EdmondDantes Both winner in league and apparently at life, haha
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    we can agree that it's probably like 50/50 this guy shoots up said bagel shop in the coming days? if I'm an employee I'm probably not coming into work anymore.
     
    TC and pnk$krtcryna$ty like this.
  21. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    Why? Who cares this much to have him identified?
     
  22. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Well-Known Member

    It’s honestly just shocking that it hasn’t come out yet imo.
     
    Prospector likes this.
  23. zeberdee

    zeberdee hungry dogs run faster
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    go to a tailor.
     
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  24. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    Fair enough. Maybe if the beginning of the interaction would be posted he’d get IDed. But, it seems like he got his comeuppance so maybe that’s why he is still unknown.
     
  25. Look at moneybags here
     
  26. zeberdee

    zeberdee hungry dogs run faster
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    it’s like $10 to hem a pair of pants.
     
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  27. NothingIsOT

    NothingIsOT I got you COACH!
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    I mean. If you want proof a shitty voice is better than being that short, imagine this.

    Short guy walks into the cigar bar and sees Patriots hat girl. Who turns down who?
     
    skiedfrillet, ARCO, TwoPoor and 10 others like this.
  28. I have like 20 pairs of pants.
     
    steamengine likes this.
  29. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
    Donor

    You usually don't have to hem all of your pants, Shawn
     
    RockHardEnis39, Seavie, ARCO and 8 others like this.
  30. Tug

    Tug Well-Known Member
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    And none of them fit? Why do you keep buying them
     
  31. 30 is generally the shortest I can find. Sometimes I'm lucky and find a 29 or a 28 that fits OK.
     
  32. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    Or buy the right size?
     
  33. Tug

    Tug Well-Known Member
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    Have you ever heard of Amazon.com? They sell almost everything there
     
  34. I prefer to get my pants in person so I can try them on. The sizes don't always fit the same year to year.
     
    pbfp2008 likes this.
  35. IV

    IV I'm often wrong, but occasionally correct
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    Below 5’7” can confirm
     
  36. Tug

    Tug Well-Known Member
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    If you try them on in person and they don’t fit you buy them but still don’t take them to the tailor? This is very confusing
     
  37. RSK

    RSK Well-Known Member
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    If you could freely exchange inches between penis size and height and vice versa which direction would you go and by how much?
     
  38. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
    Donor

    3 foot 9 with a 10 foot dick
     
  39. It's pretty rare I can find ones that aren't too long, so I have to take what I can get.
     
  40. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    6’1” with a 10 inch wang is already plenty
     
  41. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    How tall are you? Are your legs short for your height?
     
  42. 5'9" and yes they are.
     
  43. 2

    2 Gbr nfm
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersBig 8 ConferenceNebraska Cornhuskers alt

    Yes
     
  44. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Their bones are their money and so are the worms
    Donor

    The tackle is straight up battery
     
  45. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q

    Done. Bagels fucking suck.

    Absolutely.

    Yes.
     
  46. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    30 length should be fine unless your issue is waist to length
     
  47. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    It's funny, I'm 6'4" and feel almost the exact opposite. At general admission shows, I always feel like I'm blocking people's views and God forbid I have to pee and come back, the looks of people as I move back right in front of them make me feel like a leper. Unless it's a heavy moshing/dancing show, I practically stand stationary because of a couple times I've gotten tapped on the shoulder by shorts saying they didn't have a clear view because of me.

    My go-to concert buddy is about 5'9" or 5'10" and always tries weaving through some traffic to get closer to the stage during shows, but there's some times I've told him I can't because he can blend in, but I won't.
     
    Prospector likes this.
  48. Like, pure inch for inch, or can we scale this a bit and say like one dick inch gets you 3 body inches?
     
  49. It'd also be neat to be able to situationally adjust your height by pulling/pushing in your dick.

    Or adjust penile length by pushing on the top of your head or pulling your hair upward