TMB Divorce Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by One Knight, Apr 30, 2015.

  1. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Been about a year since the divorce was official and it's the best decision I ever made.
     
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  2. the Weimar Beer Belly

    the Weimar Beer Belly This joie de vivre is killing me
    Alabama Crimson TideMetalCoors Light

    It's like the scene in Interview with the Vampire where Louis is in the theatre and sees the sunrise for the first time in a century or more
     
  3. jenks

    jenks too old to learn, too tired to care.
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    Been a weird few weeks... hit with both what would have been my anniversary as well as a year to the day that I walked away from a toxic marriage... don't know why it never hit me before now that they were so close together...
     
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  4. H/T

    H/T Top 3 Swansea City AFC Poster
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    :ohdear::ohdear::ohdear::tebow::tebow::tebow:
     
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  5. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
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    sorry homey, hate to hear it

    silver lining is that you can join the Tinder thread...
     
  6. H/T

    H/T Top 3 Swansea City AFC Poster
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    Nothing official yet but its headed that way in a big way. Lawyers have been spoken to on both sides.
     
  7. dump

    dump TMB’s premier expert on women’s CBB
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    :no:
     
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  8. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Placeholder for a Custom Title
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    Tilly needs to represent you ITBO (in this boards opinion)
     
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  9. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    What happened? Mutual?
     
  10. H/T

    H/T Top 3 Swansea City AFC Poster
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    Yes and No.

    Edited based on advice since she is aware of tmb.
     
    #560 H/T, Jun 23, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2017
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  11. H/T

    H/T Top 3 Swansea City AFC Poster
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    Tilly she has been speaking with Hayes Stanton...are you better than that dude?
     
  12. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
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    there's no way in hell that Tilly Swamp doesn't mop the courtroom with that bow tied goober
     
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  13. Jake Scott

    Jake Scott Well-Known Member
    Staff Donor
    Jacksonville Jaguars

    Damn, good luck H/T

    But if my wife pulled that shit I'd move on immediately.
     
  14. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Really sorry to hear, but this part particularly struck me. I know it's easier said than done, but you have no reason to harbor any guilt. You didn't fail; your relationship did. And it sounds like she's the reason why.
     
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  15. H/T

    H/T Top 3 Swansea City AFC Poster
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    Thanks for this but I do take some responsibility in this that maybe had we communicated better it wouldn't be this way or had I been less stubborn and I can be very stubborn. Maybe if I had helped out more regardless of how shit my day at work is or how tired I may have been. I just wonder if I could have compromised more and done a better job with the issues she did have.The biggest issue for me is that feeling of if Im somewhere and that happens because shes drunk...well why wont she do it somewhere else in regards to being cheated on.

    I cant imagine how guys that have had a spouse actually cheat deal with it. Hats off to them.
     
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  16. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Takes two to tango, my friend. It sounds like she wasn't exactly going out of her way to make life easy for you either.
     
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  17. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    H/T is this beyond counseling?
     
  18. HarleyOutlaw

    HarleyOutlaw Well-Known Member

    Man, I feel ya.

    "Too good to leave, too bad to stay" was the perfect description of my first marriage. Then her drinking led to an erosion of trust. Trust is a core value of mine, once that was questioned, it was over.

    Sad, defeated, second guessing. All normal. I hope shit works out for you.
     
  19. H/T

    H/T Top 3 Swansea City AFC Poster
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    I dont know. Part of me says I need to try and the other part of me says that its a waste of time. Talked to a couple friends that did say that even if I dont want to do it or dont think it will help to do it anyway. They have been divorced and of course explained how ugly and expensive it can/will get and that the counseling may help. So I may just do it.
     
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  20. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    Sorry man I know it's not easy. It's hell. You'll get through it.

    Don't do something stupid while drunk. When I was going through divorce 2 years ago I didn't drink fearing I'd do something stupid. I took up running as a hobby instead - ended up being a great decision.
     
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  21. HarleyOutlaw

    HarleyOutlaw Well-Known Member

    Marriage counseling - can't hurt, might help.
     
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  22. Don't Hate Me Bro!

    Don't Hate Me Bro! Wigglin my toes on a mink rug...
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    I would've played it the same way. Don't you love it when the guilty party feels entitled to tell you for how long and exactly how mad you get to be over their transgression?

    Be still my beating heart when she throws down the ultimatum and you're like, "k, divorce it is". Fuck her.
     
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  23. Don't Hate Me Bro!

    Don't Hate Me Bro! Wigglin my toes on a mink rug...
    Indiana HoosiersNotre Dame Fighting IrishChicago CubsIndianapolis Colts

    And another thing!!!!

    It really is the ultimate slap in the face, disrespect, disregard, to humiliate and emasculate you in public like that. To put you in that position with malice. In front of your coworkers!? There's no reconciling or understanding that headspace. I wouldn't even entertain the idea that there's any rationalization, justification. AT ALL. I might not know much about love and commitment, but I know you don't do shit like that. "You've got to learn"?! Fuck her so much.
     
  24. Jake Scott

    Jake Scott Well-Known Member
    Staff Donor
    Jacksonville Jaguars

    This is me, but I've dealt with intense loss my entire life since a young and cutting off/shut down a relationship is easy for me. I've got friends that have been through a tough divorce or break up and take it super hard. I never understood that. And I had a 7 year relationship dissolve when I in my mid 20's. I just went on about my business and didn't give a fuck. People just don't mean that much to me. I've got problems stemming from my youth.

    So when I'm crossed, I turn on the person hard.

    /doesn't really pertain to this discussion
     
  25. H/T

    H/T Top 3 Swansea City AFC Poster
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    I guess worst case is if this happens I can just get a one way ticket back to Hawaii and not worry about the burden of having a wife and such. lol

    Or maybe Ill make the move to Wales... I can work for Taffy
     
  26. rickyrubio4life

    rickyrubio4life Straight Cash Homey

    Dude, if a fucking dog is putting that much strain on your marriage, you need to GTFO. And yeah the wedding shit sounds like a Jerry Springer episode. Not sure what your tolerance is for drama, but if there are no children this appears to be an easy decision.
     
  27. BiMaleStripper

    BiMaleStripper Well-Known Member

    Half his shit
     
  28. rickyrubio4life

    rickyrubio4life Straight Cash Homey

    Good point but totally worth it from what he has relayed. You really want to be stuck with a wife who is known for getting sloppy drunk DTF at a wedding?
     
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  29. One Knight

    One Knight https://www.twitch.tv/thatrescueguy
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    Man I just cringe when I see this thread bumped. :ohdear: Really sorry for you H/T , there is no worse feeling.

    The important thing, right now, is to give yourself the time to feel bad, feel guilty if you want to, it doesn't sound like you have much reason to but I get the impulse. Something I learned is "don't feel bad about feeling bad", its a normal reaction, allow yourself to grieve and process it mentally.

    But once you do that, you've got to put it in a box and move on, and prepare for a potential fight. For years in this thread i've discussed divorce like combat, prescribed aggressiveness and first strikes and all that. Get a lawyer you trust, learn your rights, make preparations for an ugly fight, and hopefully it never gets that far. But you will feel much much better when you are fully ready for whatever happens next. The law usually leans heavily to the woman, and the lawyers ITT know all the details better than I do, but just know you are going to have to fight for everything you want to get/keep out of the process. Seems like there are no kids thank god, so it should be a relatively simple process. But don't rely on her for anything, get everything in writing, and assume the worst can and will happen. Then you will be pleasantly surprised if she doesn't go scorched earth.

    Even though mine was 7 years ago, its seared into my brain like it was yesterday, so feel free to PM if you want to talk, advice, whatever. We're all here for you.
     
    #579 One Knight, Jun 24, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2017
  30. undrtow

    undrtow learn to swim
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    Fuck. I hate when I see this thread pop up on the fist page


    Good luck H/T
     
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  31. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    If she's openly trying to fuck a guy while you're in the same room, odds are someone else is already fucking her.

    I'd tell her to gtfo and move on. Plenty of other women out there that won't disrespect you like that.
     
  32. rickyrubio4life

    rickyrubio4life Straight Cash Homey

    Honestly the freaking out over the dog is probably the bigger red flag that this shit needs to be over. Good luck when baby #2 hits the scene eventually.
     
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  33. Taffy

    Taffy Token Brit poster
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    H/T you and her need to take a step back. What she did at the party was wrong on every level, and being drunk is not an excuse - but it sounds like the relationship is in the shitter in both of your opinions. However, you need to look at the bigger picture and ask yourself some questions:
    After the anger dies down (it will), do you want to make it work?
    Can you acknowledge that several big location & job changes over the last couple of years will put a strain on a relationship, moreso for women who tend to rely more on a social/family support network?

    I'm a +1 for counselling, I think you've both got faults which you both need to acknowledge and work on before deciding to throw the towel in.

    Finally, you need to make a decision together to rehome the dog, its not fair on you or the dog atm.
     
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  34. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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    H/T pm me your name and her name. Not getting into it in public since it is an sc case.

    Also let me know who you've talked to.
     
    #584 Tilly, Jun 24, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2017
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  35. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
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    this seems like a bad law
     
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  36. THE REAL GUBBERJK

    THE REAL GUBBERJK original ocean grown
    Donor

    I am very sorry my bro .
    if your talking about separating I am not for that really .
    life is way to short .
    I know what your going through .
    I have been married twice , it seems like the end of the world .
    but its not its just co-dependency .
    you will be heart broken .
    but guess what ?
    be happy
    you deserve it no matter what anyone says .

    hatteras jack edit add on : If I have ever told you anything you will accept .
    I,m telling you .
    there is life after divorce .
     
  37. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    /the South
     
  38. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    I can definitely relate to the moving and job changes creating stress. We have had to move around a lot during our 6 years together, probably about to move again in a month, and it's caused us to take out the stress of it on each other. Luckily we've always been able to take a step back and realize we are both mad about the same thing and not each other so we are able to get on the same side and say "fuck this place" or "fuck that job" instead of "fuck you for this place sucking or for my shitty job".
     
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  39. buy_dont_lease

    buy_dont_lease Ha ha ha. What a story, Mark.
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  40. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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  41. Penguin The Duck

    Penguin The Duck Well-Known Member / #NFT Influencer
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    Been a year since i kicked the old lady out. H/T I was in a similar position as you and tried like hell to blame it on myself. You can only control yourself and your happiness. Sounds like she's dragging you down and is taking her unhappiness out on you. Fuck that and move on.

    A year later and things have completely changed for the better. I lost pretty much everything except for my clothes. Losing the dogs was the worst part. You gotta find a way to block it all out and trust that what you're going through is only temporary.

    Bumble/tinder your life away. Realize how dumb and annoying girls are. Fuck em any ways. Cheers dude. You've got this.
     
  42. BiMaleStripper

    BiMaleStripper Well-Known Member

    Family law is stupid
     
  43. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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    To some extent. There are some practical reasons to require a year or so. I think those reasons are more steeped in tradition/morality as opposed to anything else, but doesn't mean the requirement is completely worthless.
     
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  44. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Not really. Most of the South is much more favorable to divorce. Mandatory separation periods are more common in more progressive states. Hell, in Georgia infidelity is a complete bar to alimony even if the other party was also unfaithful.
     
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  45. HarleyOutlaw

    HarleyOutlaw Well-Known Member

    What happened here? This was the last post and I feel like someone tore the last page out of the book. Hope it worked out.
     
  46. THE REAL GUBBERJK

    THE REAL GUBBERJK original ocean grown
    Donor

    what-ever just get it over with and on with ur life .
    is it a 50 / 50 state I did not read .
    cause if it,s not .
    hide the assets .

    add on : more problems than that ?
    ask Sammy meatballs .
    ok ?
    or supercity .
     
  47. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
    Donor TMB OG
    South Carolina Gamecocks

    Georgia's law is ten times more progressive than sc. In Georgia, you have to show that the adultery contributed to the separation. In SC, you could be separated and litigating for close to two years, guy has a side piece, wife gets flirty with a guy on vacation and they pass out in the same room and she gets her alimony permanently cut off. No discretion or equity. Permanent bar by statute. It's outright draconian.
     
  48. J.R. Bob Dobbs

    J.R. Bob Dobbs Fan of: Firing Coaches, Cutting Players

    i think you mean outright just.
     
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  49. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    Curious...does:

    Money/Kids/Blowjobs >>>>>>>>Marriage??

    ...was said in a different thread, but you'll often hear guys say they wished they got divorced while the kid was a baby. A child 5-18 makes it real hard to leave. This is assuming you weren't able to really have a kid with the woman without marriage.
     
  50. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    [
    But divorces can move a lot faster in ga than sc, due in part to the year apart...