It's like the scene in Interview with the Vampire where Louis is in the theatre and sees the sunrise for the first time in a century or more
Been a weird few weeks... hit with both what would have been my anniversary as well as a year to the day that I walked away from a toxic marriage... don't know why it never hit me before now that they were so close together...
Nothing official yet but its headed that way in a big way. Lawyers have been spoken to on both sides.
Really sorry to hear, but this part particularly struck me. I know it's easier said than done, but you have no reason to harbor any guilt. You didn't fail; your relationship did. And it sounds like she's the reason why.
Thanks for this but I do take some responsibility in this that maybe had we communicated better it wouldn't be this way or had I been less stubborn and I can be very stubborn. Maybe if I had helped out more regardless of how shit my day at work is or how tired I may have been. I just wonder if I could have compromised more and done a better job with the issues she did have.The biggest issue for me is that feeling of if Im somewhere and that happens because shes drunk...well why wont she do it somewhere else in regards to being cheated on. I cant imagine how guys that have had a spouse actually cheat deal with it. Hats off to them.
Takes two to tango, my friend. It sounds like she wasn't exactly going out of her way to make life easy for you either.
Man, I feel ya. "Too good to leave, too bad to stay" was the perfect description of my first marriage. Then her drinking led to an erosion of trust. Trust is a core value of mine, once that was questioned, it was over. Sad, defeated, second guessing. All normal. I hope shit works out for you.
I dont know. Part of me says I need to try and the other part of me says that its a waste of time. Talked to a couple friends that did say that even if I dont want to do it or dont think it will help to do it anyway. They have been divorced and of course explained how ugly and expensive it can/will get and that the counseling may help. So I may just do it.
Sorry man I know it's not easy. It's hell. You'll get through it. Don't do something stupid while drunk. When I was going through divorce 2 years ago I didn't drink fearing I'd do something stupid. I took up running as a hobby instead - ended up being a great decision.
I would've played it the same way. Don't you love it when the guilty party feels entitled to tell you for how long and exactly how mad you get to be over their transgression? Be still my beating heart when she throws down the ultimatum and you're like, "k, divorce it is". Fuck her.
And another thing!!!! It really is the ultimate slap in the face, disrespect, disregard, to humiliate and emasculate you in public like that. To put you in that position with malice. In front of your coworkers!? There's no reconciling or understanding that headspace. I wouldn't even entertain the idea that there's any rationalization, justification. AT ALL. I might not know much about love and commitment, but I know you don't do shit like that. "You've got to learn"?! Fuck her so much.
This is me, but I've dealt with intense loss my entire life since a young and cutting off/shut down a relationship is easy for me. I've got friends that have been through a tough divorce or break up and take it super hard. I never understood that. And I had a 7 year relationship dissolve when I in my mid 20's. I just went on about my business and didn't give a fuck. People just don't mean that much to me. I've got problems stemming from my youth. So when I'm crossed, I turn on the person hard. /doesn't really pertain to this discussion
I guess worst case is if this happens I can just get a one way ticket back to Hawaii and not worry about the burden of having a wife and such. lol Or maybe Ill make the move to Wales... I can work for Taffy
Dude, if a fucking dog is putting that much strain on your marriage, you need to GTFO. And yeah the wedding shit sounds like a Jerry Springer episode. Not sure what your tolerance is for drama, but if there are no children this appears to be an easy decision.
Good point but totally worth it from what he has relayed. You really want to be stuck with a wife who is known for getting sloppy drunk DTF at a wedding?
Man I just cringe when I see this thread bumped. Really sorry for you H/T , there is no worse feeling. The important thing, right now, is to give yourself the time to feel bad, feel guilty if you want to, it doesn't sound like you have much reason to but I get the impulse. Something I learned is "don't feel bad about feeling bad", its a normal reaction, allow yourself to grieve and process it mentally. But once you do that, you've got to put it in a box and move on, and prepare for a potential fight. For years in this thread i've discussed divorce like combat, prescribed aggressiveness and first strikes and all that. Get a lawyer you trust, learn your rights, make preparations for an ugly fight, and hopefully it never gets that far. But you will feel much much better when you are fully ready for whatever happens next. The law usually leans heavily to the woman, and the lawyers ITT know all the details better than I do, but just know you are going to have to fight for everything you want to get/keep out of the process. Seems like there are no kids thank god, so it should be a relatively simple process. But don't rely on her for anything, get everything in writing, and assume the worst can and will happen. Then you will be pleasantly surprised if she doesn't go scorched earth. Even though mine was 7 years ago, its seared into my brain like it was yesterday, so feel free to PM if you want to talk, advice, whatever. We're all here for you.
If she's openly trying to fuck a guy while you're in the same room, odds are someone else is already fucking her. I'd tell her to gtfo and move on. Plenty of other women out there that won't disrespect you like that.
Honestly the freaking out over the dog is probably the bigger red flag that this shit needs to be over. Good luck when baby #2 hits the scene eventually.
H/T you and her need to take a step back. What she did at the party was wrong on every level, and being drunk is not an excuse - but it sounds like the relationship is in the shitter in both of your opinions. However, you need to look at the bigger picture and ask yourself some questions: After the anger dies down (it will), do you want to make it work? Can you acknowledge that several big location & job changes over the last couple of years will put a strain on a relationship, moreso for women who tend to rely more on a social/family support network? I'm a +1 for counselling, I think you've both got faults which you both need to acknowledge and work on before deciding to throw the towel in. Finally, you need to make a decision together to rehome the dog, its not fair on you or the dog atm.
H/T pm me your name and her name. Not getting into it in public since it is an sc case. Also let me know who you've talked to.
I am very sorry my bro . if your talking about separating I am not for that really . life is way to short . I know what your going through . I have been married twice , it seems like the end of the world . but its not its just co-dependency . you will be heart broken . but guess what ? be happy you deserve it no matter what anyone says . hatteras jack edit add on : If I have ever told you anything you will accept . I,m telling you . there is life after divorce .
I can definitely relate to the moving and job changes creating stress. We have had to move around a lot during our 6 years together, probably about to move again in a month, and it's caused us to take out the stress of it on each other. Luckily we've always been able to take a step back and realize we are both mad about the same thing and not each other so we are able to get on the same side and say "fuck this place" or "fuck that job" instead of "fuck you for this place sucking or for my shitty job".
Not really a southern thing, FWIW http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/div...aiting-periods-for-no-fault-divorce-621.shtml
Been a year since i kicked the old lady out. H/T I was in a similar position as you and tried like hell to blame it on myself. You can only control yourself and your happiness. Sounds like she's dragging you down and is taking her unhappiness out on you. Fuck that and move on. A year later and things have completely changed for the better. I lost pretty much everything except for my clothes. Losing the dogs was the worst part. You gotta find a way to block it all out and trust that what you're going through is only temporary. Bumble/tinder your life away. Realize how dumb and annoying girls are. Fuck em any ways. Cheers dude. You've got this.
To some extent. There are some practical reasons to require a year or so. I think those reasons are more steeped in tradition/morality as opposed to anything else, but doesn't mean the requirement is completely worthless.
Not really. Most of the South is much more favorable to divorce. Mandatory separation periods are more common in more progressive states. Hell, in Georgia infidelity is a complete bar to alimony even if the other party was also unfaithful.
What happened here? This was the last post and I feel like someone tore the last page out of the book. Hope it worked out.
what-ever just get it over with and on with ur life . is it a 50 / 50 state I did not read . cause if it,s not . hide the assets . add on : more problems than that ? ask Sammy meatballs . ok ? or supercity .
Georgia's law is ten times more progressive than sc. In Georgia, you have to show that the adultery contributed to the separation. In SC, you could be separated and litigating for close to two years, guy has a side piece, wife gets flirty with a guy on vacation and they pass out in the same room and she gets her alimony permanently cut off. No discretion or equity. Permanent bar by statute. It's outright draconian.
Curious...does: Money/Kids/Blowjobs >>>>>>>>Marriage?? ...was said in a different thread, but you'll often hear guys say they wished they got divorced while the kid was a baby. A child 5-18 makes it real hard to leave. This is assuming you weren't able to really have a kid with the woman without marriage.