infinity% correct. Things and situations occur during relationships that have the potential to greatly alter one or both partner's mental health. It's not great, bob.
You also don't marry someone after the first date. Stop being an over sensitive pussy about it. You know exactly what I'm talking about it. People ignore warning signs of crazy all of the time. I've seen friends and family members do it. People here post about it. I'm not one of those people and I've been genuinely confused for much of my adult life why seemingly smart individuals have long term relationships with women that any objective observer would tell them is out of her fucking mind. Edit: If the answer is, "She was great the first five years and then had a breakdown and shit went downhill," I get that. That's also not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the chick who gives you warning signs early on but you push through anyway.
Again,you're being unbelievably naive and condescending. The fact that it comes like three posts after somebody saying "this is a judgment free zone" makes the sanctimony that much less palatable.
“I am blessed that I have a marriage that has been thus far successful, what the fuck is wrong with all of you losers who don’t. Btw this isn’t condescending stop being a sensitive pussy.” - Moxin
Here's a very recent personal anecdote that I'm now going to use to generalize my feelings on the entire topic and call you ignorant at the same time. Someone in my close family married a girl who we knew since around age 10; she went to the same church we did, went to the same school all the way through high school, etc. They started dating while in college and got married when they were both around age 22. After a few years she started acting erratically, spending a ton of money they didn't have and much to everyone's surprise became an alcoholic. They got divorced several years ago (he's now remarried and happy) and we'd hear reports or see things on facebook about how she had pulled her life together, moved to a new city, got a new job, etc. On Monday we heard out she was found dead in a hotel room from an overdose. As far as her family knew she had been 19 months sober until that point. The point is, my family member didn't marry crazy nor jump into a relationship with crazy for the wild sex. He married a nice small town girl he knew for more than 10 years who turned crazy. It happens
wasnt Moxin the guy with that wall of text post crying about his wife not doing his laundry you'd think she'd recognize crazy
Lest we forget that Moxin probably thinks any divorcées itt are sinners. Also, referring to women as “chicks” in a non-ironic way is as douchey as can be.
When you find yourself explaining away the fucked up things they’ve done, you’re being manipulated and not objective about it anymore. Been there too often, but it’s a hard line to see when you love someone. The sure fire sign to run for me now is the “judge me on my intentions not my actions”
Would be hard to hear them over the cleansing dip in the lake they were forced to take to prove they weren't a witch
There are way more douchey things than that. But if people want to feel better about themselves by pretending they've evolved that's ok.
So the House Tax Bill repealed the alimony deduction. However, it is only for agreements/orders entered after 12/31/17 or if you modify the agreement or order and the modification provides that the deductibility continues. Basically, if you have an agreement/order in place before the end of the year, you're fine. If you don't, you won't be able to use the deduction if this ultimately becomes law. If you are looking to modify an agreement or order, this could make things more difficult moving forward because it decreases available financial resources between the parties.
I have typed this out and deleted it multiple times. I honestly don't know if I should tell it or not but there is no one I can/have talked to about this so I'm going to use this thread as a way to vent and let it out so to speak. Spoiler I posted a few months ago that me and the fiancé were splitting after nearly 5 years together. She was and is easily the most manipulative person I have ever been around. When I was working in Nashville, I met this girl that started working with me. We will call her 'C' for the story. At that time I was fucking everything and every girl I could but in the back of my mind I was ready to settle down. I never showed interest in 'C' at that time, wasn't really my type. There was this one night we all went out downtown and she approached me pretty much saying I'm going to fuck you. So of course I did. Everything was normal and I wasn't looking for a relationship with her but if you were to ever meet me, I am the type that always tries to please everyone around me even if it fucks me in the long run. I always have and always will. So I played along to begin with. We started dating a little bit and she would tell me these stories about her family, or lack thereof. It made me feel for her because I came from a family that supported me in everything. At that time she said her dad just died (lie) and her mother was this awful person that never treated her right. She would say at a younger age her mother would leave her dad and take her to these random guys houses and leave her while her mother was doing God knows what. These stories drew me in because I had that "I want to help/fix her" mentality. Things progressed and she told me at this time she had her ovaries removed and could not get pregnant. She went in depth of an elaborate story of why and it made me believe her and feel sorry for her altogether. So I hate rubbers anyway and never used them and at this time I decided fuck it, I can nut in her and be okay. Little did I know I was falling in her trap slowly but surely. A couple months later she came to me and said, I'm pregnant. WHAT THE FUCK. How can you be pregnant, you had your ovaries removed, what the fuck? I obviously flipped out. Did a pregnancy test and yep, pregnant. Over a week or so of her crying, she finally admitted 'kinda' that it was a lie. But that moved to the next lie. She stated to me she had cancer, I forgot the name of it, but it was behind her right eye. This girl did her homework, printed out 'reports' from the dr., everything. Had me convinced. Yes I was probably a little naive too but she literally had everything together like she really did. She told me she had lied about the no ovaries thing because the cancer she had was so advanced she likely would not survive it and it was always her dream to have a child. Now, once again, I'm the type to always want to help others out so this hit me and hit me hard. I was wanting to settle down too, getting to that age, that I forgave her for the ovary lie. This is where things just got crazy with the lies. She would have friends come over and pick her up and "take her to her dr appts", have me drop her off, even would pass out while at work. I mean just crazy things. I remember this one time while i was working and she felt too bad to go in that she sent me a picture of a puddle of blood in her right hand and she stated she was bleeding from her right ear. I freaked out telling her to go to the dr and she kept saying no. I called the only family member I had of hers in my phone which was her cousin, who was 17 or so a the time. I was trying to get ahold of her aunt to let her know. Well the cousin didn't answer and called 'C'. 'C' called me crying saying they didn't want her little cousin, who she called her sister, to know that she was dying. This story stuck out to me because at that point I believe is where I stuck it in the back of my head that this could all be a lie. But damn, she was so believable with everything. She went home with me for Easter and met my family for the first time. While at Easter, my cousins wife actually had the same cancer (and later died from it) so I remember my family sitting around with her and 'C' talking about it and 'C' being reserved. I was with my niece and nephew most of the time so I didn't really know what all was said. At about this same time 'C' was telling me how her dad had started and owned Wirtgen Group of Wirtgen America. I was skeptical of this at first but holy shit, when we would drive by she knew so much about the road machinery and the other ones with it too that it sounded so real. She stated he had left her 15mil and she would get it if she lived to 25 (she was 23 at the time). Im pretty sure my mother had picked up on everything too but didn't want to say anything until she knew. 'C' wanted to move to where I was from shortly after easter and of course I obliged because if she was to birth my child and die, I wanted to be close to my family for the support. She agreed to go to Cancer center of America in Atlanta for treatment. And remember, she had all of these documents printed out about her cancer, dr visit form things, dr and nurses names. Everything. So I had no reason not to believe her. But she kept putting it off and this threw my family off. my mother started doing research along with my oldest sister. They found all of these stories were lies. her father had passed away almost ten years ago, not a year ago like she said. My sister actually called Wirtgen America in Tennessee and oddly enough, the managers name or owners name, was the same as her dad but when my sister spoke to him, he had no idea who she was. My mother was upset of course but kept things to herself because I had told her all of the stories about her growing up and she felt that maybe she did all of this because she had no one else in her family and didn't want to lose me. None of this was ever brought up and my mother, Godly person that she is, chose to forgive. With that said, all of this caused a huge divide in my family. The person I had spoken about earlier with the same cancer died at this time. My aunt, who it was her son's wife, despised 'C' and it caused a huge fight within the family. 'C' never knew what it was all about but knew of the problems within the family and still to this day, that divide is still there. My grandmother absolutely adored 'C' because 'C' would do everything for her. This is why the divide was so deep because she had the uncanny ability to suck everyone in and cause them to love her unconditionally. 'C' pretty much assumed we all realized the cancer thing was all a lie and it was never really brought up anymore. But she would still lie about so much. She could eat at McDonalds that day but would tell you she ate at Hardee's. Just lie after lies. 'C' had nothing when we met. Nothing. She had this undivided love for her aunt and uncle but hatred for her mother and I never knew why. Her aunt and uncle never did anything for her that I saw, never even texted or called on her birthday or Christmas. This girl literally had like 3 shirts to her name when I met her. No car. Of course she tied this all in to having cancer but I gave her everything. Everything. Literally for 2 straight years, every penny of my check went to her and my daughter. I mean I gave this girl the life she had never had. My parents supported her more than their own children because they wanted to show her love that she said she had never had. I bought her a car, she has enough clothes now that filled up 2 closets. I supported/paid for her to go to college, something her family never did. I was that driving force behind her to make something of herself. I did everything I could to please her but it was never enough with her. She changed from nursing to EMT and this is when things went downhill. She had her classes with multiple teachers but she always spoke of one. -redacted-. this fat guy who was "an awesome teacher". Well this teacher also worked at -redacted- in Montgomery and got her the job there. I pushed her to take it because it was a far drive but paid okay and would be good experience. Fuck me. Lies continued. She stated multiple times that work would call her in at night and this is where i became super skeptical. She went home to Tennessee for a weekend and just abruptly stopped texting me one night. I was of course like what the fuck. I did something I had never done before and I got on the Verizon bill and saw this 334 number that she had spent 70 minutes on the phone with. I google the number and yep. -redacted-. I flipped the fuck out and called her that morning telling her I was done. I forgave her for a lot of shit but cheating would not be one of them. Through all of the crying she had convinced me it was about this call she had worked where this infant had died and it was all about that. I decided i would keep a tabs on the Verizon and would try and catch her, because thats one thing I would not live with and she knew it. The lies progressed and one day I see another 334 number, it was to an apartment complex in Montgomery. The next day she was gone after i confronted her about it. She would go stay with he friend. She kissed Annabelle on her head and walked out. She had said she wasn't happy and just wanted to take a break away but still date. Of course I was like fuck no, its either me here or no me. I accused her of leaving to go to work those nights she was called out going to meet up with that fatass, -redacted-. She later told me she was going to her friends house who took classes with her to meet with an attorney about her options if she was to move out. These past 2/3 months she has adamantly stated she was not with -redacted- and would never be with him but the day after Christmas, I had a friend send me a picture of her facebook profile picture of her and him. She waited until after Christmas to not "ruin" it for me. 'C' had blocked me on facebook. She had gone about 6 months without it and decided to get it back and block me on it. All during this time I had taken Annabelle to see her twice in Montgomery, let her FaceTime her every night all the while lying to me saying she wanted to move back and wanted my forgiveness. I wouldn't do it without her getting my families blessing because not only did she walk out on me and Annabelle, she had affected them, especially my mother, as well. Even after all of this I still had some hope/feelings for her because damn, we were together for almost 5 years and have a daughter together. Not many people knows the pain of when your 3 year old at night rolls over crying asking where momma is. That almost caused me to try and get back with her but this last shit finally pushed me over the edge and over her for good. I left out a lot because its already so long but damn if this shit doesn't suck. Now she is saying she wants to get a lawyer and figure out things with my daughter. My parents have pushed me trying to get me to file for abandonment and full custody of my daughter but up until I got that most recent message withe her posing with that fatass, I was against it. I honestly dont know my chances if I were to do it or not giving that most courts rule in favor of the mother but I am honestly scared to have my daughter grow up with an habitual liar like her. She doesn't have a car or even her own place right now either. Since she has left she has stayed at "friends houses" (Im sure Oates house probably). I wouldn't let her take the car when she left because it was in my name. Now her texts are all poor me I miss my daughter and how shitty I am and how she was never happy with me. This bitch was given the world from me and my family. Hell, her aunt and uncle who she loves didn't even call or text her on Christmas. I know most will see how long this is and not read it and that is more than fine with me, I just needed somewhere to let it go for a bit. I dont know what to do about custody and am at a loss. If I were to lose my daughter to her, I dont know what I would do.
She had her classes with multiple teachers but she always spoke of one. Oates. this fat guy who was "an awesome teacher". Well this teacher also worked at Care Ambulance in Montgomery and got her the job there. I pushed her to take it because it was a far drive but paid okay and would be good experience. Fuck me. I'm at this point in the story.....and I'm willing to bet.....
This actually crossed my mind and all the shit she has done to me has me wanting to fuck her over as much as possible but then the other side of me is like fuck no. You were raised better than that, don’t fall to her level.
man, i have never been divorced or married, but that to me is about the best case of sole custody for a man i have ever seen
I'm so sorry to hear all this. You've made it this far being a single parent....keep going man. You can do it. I have no advice, but you're in my prayers!
Good thinking. Keep the high ground. Remember, your goal here is to protect your daughter, not to punish her mother.
Get a lawyer ASAP obviously. Ultimately you will end up with your daughter but literally any time at all with her mother will result in you dealing with the fallout. Yeah, the courts love mothers, but my guess is she wont be consistent enough to maintain a normal life or custody. Do whatever you can do to get your daughter and pay whatever you need to pay to get your daughter. It's possible, I've had mine 100% of the time for 11 years now. Their dingbat mother is still out there doing dingbat shit. Her loss, not ours. I met someone sane and life is good. I still deal with that fucking psycho but the kids don't, which is the most important part.
Really hope you can get away from her and move on as soon as possible. Can’t imagine wasting so much of my life on someone that has lied at every turn. I hope you’re blessed with someone soon that will make you very happy.
This is the type of post I was hoping to see when I posted that. Thanks. Hopefully I’ll have the same outcome as you.
Picked up my certified copies of my divorce decree this morning from the courthouse, my divorce is now official and done with
Yes - do whatever it takes to get your daughter. That is all that matters at this point. I couldn't imagine leaving my daughter for 6 months and only seeing her a couple times, and facetime calls.
MY QUESTION FOR 50/50 STATE . remember it takes two to argue . there is another side we are not hearing ?
bama1 definitely get in to see a lawyer. I'm assuming you're on the birth certificate, but get a paternity test as well asap. Keep the high ground and don't fuck around with the guy. If I'm her attorney, I'm going to paint you as a vindictive ex using the kid as a weapon. Don't give her any ammunition to do so. I'm not sure how much time you will have before a hearing or what the procedure is where you live. Maybe one of the other attorneys (AL?) can give you more insight but I'm sure the attorney can tell you exactly tomorrow. My suggestion is start reaching out and getting documentation together to document and disprove her lies. This means statements/affidavits from family and, more importantly, disinterested 3rd parties. Primary source documents are the most useful (i.e. Bills, records, etc). Get Dr records showing you've been the one taking the child to appointments. Get your friends to pull her fb to show the lifestyle she's living. If you have any docs showing no cancer treatments, those will be really helpful (depending on discovery rules where you are, your attorney may be able to subpoena those records, but hipaa is a bitch). Basically, you know she's going to lie to the court. Don't give her a chance at the hearing. Bury her with supporting documentation. I'd also consider serving her with an anti-spoliation letter with the complaint. She won't abide by it, but she may freak out and destroy her phone which is sometimes just as good bc then you aren't confined to the truth in court, only what may have been on the phone. Feel free to pm with any questions as well.