Wow thats a lot, I appreciate it fully. Not sure what a anti-spoliation letter is but I'll speak of it with the attorney. The one Im going to is suppose to be really good in my area but only set aside 1 hour so if it takes longer than that, and it will, there will be a second consultation next week after the new years. (called short notice so wasn't able to schedule a time that would allow anything longer) How do I go about proving no cancer treatments without a subpoena from the court? Hell, 'C' never even went to the dentist before I paid for it, she sure as hell didn't go to a doctor except pregnancy appointments.
Anti-spoliation is you can't destroy evidence. Your attorney will know what it is and likely has a form for it. I get you on time. We have our clients write a client novel. Basically a history of the relationship. Your summary in your post is a good start but if you can add more detail, do so. It's easy to delete details. Harder to find them in a pinch. Regarding the cancer, you can do it by process of elimination. Send a subpoena for cancer treatment records to local providers and regional providers. Also to the places where she said she did or was going to receive treatment. They may not comply with the subpoena bc of hipaa, but they may send a letter back saying we have no patient by that name. You submit that letter to the court. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. Your attorney may not want to do it bc it tips your hand (you have to provide her with copies of the subpoena) and she could change her story accordingly. Really a risk assessment to be made by someone who knows the judges and the medical providers in the area. Where I'm at, we'd get those letters back from the medical providers, have affidavits from a bunch of people re her claiming to have cancer (or emails from her saying the same) and/or treatment stuff, and then those letters showing she is full of shit.
I dated a Chelsie and had a Chelsea ‘friend’ both were a little crazy, the Chelsea was way crazier... and a compulsive liar who I assume later became hooked on some hard drugs. Just to be sure, she’s not from South Louisiana right?
More like DicksOn Chelsea, mirite? Spoiler Sorry, trying to lighten the mood. But for real, I’m so sorry you’re going through this shit. Hope everything works out for the best.
bama1 the advice from tilly is pretty much spot on. All I will add is that under no circumstances let your atty talk you into agreeing to less than full custody. If he is any good he won’t even bring it up, but the lazy ones will want you to do it to save themselves a lot of aggravation.
Damn. Hate to hear shit like that. What a cunt. Found the guy she's with now on Facebook. Can confirm that he's a fat fatty.
Yeah not even an option, full custody is the only thing Im going to go for. She was actually married at 18 to her high school sweetheart and never would talk about the divorce or what caused it, I feel almost inclined to contact the guy to see if it was anything similar to my situation. Probably won't though.
Yeah I gave enough information I knew some people would be able to find them. Just if you see anything that needs to be brought to my attention, let me know.
Also. In regards to the paternity test, I know it’s a delicate issue and I’m sure you love your daughter to death, but you absolutely should get a paternity test. As much as it sucks, it’s absolutely possible your daughter isn’t related by blood. That may not change anything for you, but you should find out. As much as this should be an open and shut case, All it takes is for the judge to hate you for some random reason. Then you are fucked and will be paying child support for a kid that may not be yours. Nevermind the impact it could have on a bunch of possible future medical situations.
I'd agree he should demand no less than primary custody with all final decision making authority (may be what you meant by "full custody"). You ask for "sole custody" out of the gate, but as a practical matter, sole vs primary with those provisions included is only a difference in title.
As much as I would love to do it, I dont want to take away the fact that Im trying to do whats best for my daughter and I feel if I do contact him it would be more for myself than for my daughter. Unless they think it would help then of course i would.
Was thinking that if she pulled any of the same lies with him, you'd be able to show that she willfully and maliciously did it.
I wouldn't reach out to him yet. No clue what happens once you make that call. If you know where they were divorced, I definitely would see if you can get access to that file and see what's in it. Should be public record.
You right. Been out of the family law game for a few years. Got my terminology mixed up. Sole custody is a must imo. Shouldn’t settle for primary custody just because of how insane she is. For her own daughter’s safety, she shouldn’t be allowed around her until she gets some serious mental health help.
that is because we are reading one side of the story . portrayed bye one person of the 2 . it takes 2 to tango. IF I did not know better I think I am reading a defense plea .
as the proclaimed , it is nice to listen to 2 people talk in separate rooms each side of the story . it is obvious said subject is prying on our emotions , seeing what will fly and what will not . either way divorce hurts. it should always be 50/50 . but ? depending on were one lives that is not the case . wish we could reason the other side , - then I could refer to Sammy and be done with it .
it sounds like he or her is building a avenue for prosecution . that is never the case so be carefull and stay clear if you can not keep a open mind . so far its just the opposite of what the subject says .subject will lose. interested in subjects reaction to my comments ---------- Sammy meatballs ? how can we decifer truth from passion . remember they are going separate ways do to both not giving into the situation . in-other-wards they are both right and wrong .
today I will ask what subject did wrong . if contrary answer or normal nothing you will know the line . ok ? or if answer is open and closed .
what is his reason she is leaving child porn , mental abuse , physical abuse , drugs , no work ,child neglect ?????? ect , ect . and u know me I will be on point-IGNORE?
Honestly might not be a bad idea. I'd definitely consider doing it. Might give you some more clarity on your situation.
That was hard to read bama1, I really hope that everything works out. It sounds like the little one is lucky to have someone like you in her life. Keep your head up.
Based on what's said, I'd have a field day with that girl. Not to mention, sounds like you have a truckload of witnesses. Should be pretty easy to paint her as an unstable parent not capable of providing for the child. That is just absolutely insane.
Many bridges were burned because of this girl. Many friendships lost, family divided. I do have some people Im going to contact within the next few days mainly my old boss out of Nashville. I left abruptly but I know he knows it was because of her. I remember him telling me over dinner one night to be careful with her and I never knew why until recently. He had that feeling about her and I should have pursued it instead of pushing it to the side. We were pretty close friends at that time so Im sure the trust is still there.
Contacted the ex-boss over FB messenger. he responded right away. he offered his condolences and then went on to say he had spoken to her mother around the time we left and the mother confirmed all of the lies, I never knew this. She would talk so bad about her mother and what her mother did to her and Im sure it was all lies too. Ex-boss told me to call him later in the day and that he would do whatever he could to help. So thats good news.
In addition to everything Tilly has said, keep detailed notes from every conversation or interaction you have with her from this point forward. Having dated notes will help you going forward to recall things and also for any kind of court shit. Also, do some reading on dealing with narcissistic personalities. This will give you and your daughter some tools for going forward on how to deal with your ex. Just know she's never going to fully go away, so setting healthy boundaries for yourself and the little girl are paramount. Here's a good book I've read on that topic: Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism I learned all this the hard way dealing with my wife's ex. Best of luck to you man.
Talked with the attorney. Only got to spend 45 minutes with her due to prior obligations she has but we scheduled another meeting next Friday where she will have more time to go through everything more thoroughly. She does feel very confident in sole custody from the initial meeting but will know more next week. Called the ex boss on the way home. He actually told me shortly after we left he was doing life insurance and the woman that came over to take the blood etc had the same last name as -redacted-. He asked the lady about her and it ended up being her mom. The mom told the ex boss that her and -redacted- had not been on speaking terms for quite some time due to -redacted- being a pathological liar. Ex boss said he told her all of the nasty things -redacted- use to say about her and she said none of it was true. He asked her about the cancer and of course she shook her head saying that wasn’t true either. He thought he had told me about it but he didn’t. So I’m thinking he tried texting or emailing and it got intercepted by -redacted-. He told me he’d get the proper documentation together early next week and will do whatever he can to help me. Which is more than I deserve but so very appreciated.
Nashville, Tennessee. Guess I should add it’s kind of a unique last name so when he heard it he said he had a girl that worked for him with that last name and that’s when the mother stopped and said, “redacted”. He said both of them turned white and he stated he had heard a lot about her from -redacted- and to be honest, none of it was good. Convo carried on from there
Honestly sad that she lies that much bc it makes you wonder what's happened in her life for her to be that way. Terrible person to try to be in a relationship with though
I really only did it for the first post just in case her or someone googles and sees the workplace name. A fellow TMB'er helped me out and it made sense so I went ahead and did it. I just went ahead and did her name too since I was doing it but not too worried since its just a first name. If the attorneys in the thread thinks its a good idea to do it then yeah but me personally, I don't see the harm since its just a first name.
It is Ordered and Adjudged that every horrible wife in this thread will now be called "chelsea" from this point forward.
sounds like a time for "fun with word filter". Seeing "Shitty AMC show" in a post still cracks me up to this day