Go along with her "visit to the family" and hire a private eye to take pictures. Either you'll have proof she is cheating or relief that she isn't and have a much clearer picture.. Not sure how expensive that is but the info sounds very worthwhile. You don't read things like "I've never felt a love like this before," "you always should have been my husband," and assume something physical didn't happen, that's as damning as a video imo...
Already knew where this was headed when I read that. Dude, you’re in such a great situation. No house, no kids? Get out now. It would be so easy in comparison to having all of that red tape with children, house in both of your names, etc.
Sorry to hear it’s not everything you thought it might be. Just curious, how did the relationship start? Was she involved with someone when you two started dating? Regardless, it sounds like both of you might be happier apart.
From someone going through divorce right now in part due to his wife having an affair, you probably won’t be able to trust her again, especially if she’s trying to project some of the blame back on you. So my advice...run the fuck away as fast as you can.
Sorry this is happening to you man, this is a terrible, but as many others have said, you're in the best possible position in this shitty situation. I would advise to do counseling first, that way you can say you gave it a real shot, but if the drive isn't there to do that, tells you everything you need to know. Talk to a lawyer first, then talk to your wife. My brother went through this 5 years ago in almost the exacxt same way and they ended their divorce amicably, told me he doesn't think of it any more than you would an ex-girlfriend.
Yeah, it’s a stone cold lead pipe lock that something physical happened if she was saying that kind of shit to him....same type of shit my soon to be ex was texting back & forth to that fuckhead she was having an affair with.
No, we were both single when we met. She's freaking out right now that I'm ready to just walk away, but clearly she was missing something if she was willing to behave that way so I think long term it will be for the best to be apart.
Yeah just get out of it. Easier said than done, but cut your losses now. Think about trying to make it work and down the road this keeps happening.
If you two separate or take a break right now, that’ll be it. She’ll move on. But that’s because she fucking sucks.
To echo others you won't be able to trust her if you stay together. Say you do have kids. How much fun will it be when she takes her next trip and you are at home with the kid? Your mind won't ever let that go.
Don’t even need a kid for that. The next time she takes a business trip, he’s going to be wondering the whole time if she’s fucking the other guy or someone else.
No kids? I’d run for the hills bud, you can do better than that. And hate to break it to you, but she had sex with that guy.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. I don’t care if they didn’t have sex, that’s still cheating. You need to walk imho.
Yeah. Run. It will suck for like 2 months. And I’d bet a substantial sum of money she and the dude did more than kiss. No one will ever tell you that especially some coworker. They will just give you enough hints for you to figure it out yourself. This is your chance to make a clean break. Take advantage of it. It’s just like breaking up with your girlfriend but with some additional paperwork.
My issue with most cheating is offten that the person is caught and then shows contrition. She was going to go on that trip until you caught her and only you catching her prevented it, not some last minute moment of clarity on her part. She knew what she was riskng with actively pursuing an extramarital affair. I guess my point is she's not really sorry. She's only sorry because she got caught.
She definitely had sex with him. Someone’s wife doesn’t just stop talking to her man over weeks on end. She will come crawling back, telling you she messed up and wants you back.
Yeah and the message about the other guy being the one she should have married? With no kids and no real assets to fight over I would kick her to the curb and not look back.
there is a difference between a little harmless flirting during a road trip and making a legitimate emotional connection to someone. I would guess she physically cheated on you, but she absolutely cheated on you emotionally. If you want to try and make it work, try. But that has to be because you want to keep trying, not because she apologized. If you are on the fence, get out.
He lives overseas and is only occasionally here for work. Unless she plans to leave the country, the relationship wasn't really feasible long term anyway.
get out of there, pal. Not 40 yard dash speed, but something you're used to. Maybe 4:05 mile pace, strong start, relax in the middle. use the new waffle iron shoes.
She probably said you have done something to make her do these things. That she doesn’t feel like your equal. Since there is no excuse for what happen. You have to decide.
Steve Prefontaine her unapologetic way of handling getting caught is a huge red flag that she doesn’t intend to change anything. I’ve known several couples that survived cheating and in each instance the cheater bent over backwards and kissed ass to make things work afterward. I guess what I’m saying is... Spoiler Run.
I think it's worse that she was having what appears to be an emotional affair with this guy. Fucking somebody is just fucking somebody. Her saying things like she never felt this way and she should have married him is pretty bad. It's easy for someone like me who has no emotional stake in your relationship to tell you to divorce her but I don't know that there's any coming back from something like that.