Give her a safe space to come clean. Just tell her if she wants something else or needs to figure it out then just be honest and you can have it. Tell her you can let her go if it’s another man. You’ll show strength and unconditional love. If she is... she may spill the beans. If she’s not then she may see how much you truly care and love unconditionally. Of course once/if she drops the bomb then do whatever you want and go back on the above. At least you’ll know
Meet her male coworkers. Get up close to check and see if any of them have breath that smells like ass.
none of them post the outings I don't know if it really matters...she's offered for me to look through her phone. I haven't, but if it comes up again I will take her up on the offer.
Honda Hawk do you have her Gmail password? If so, https://www.google.com/maps/timeline?pb. You can also put a tracker on her car. Google can help you find a good one.
If she’s cheating and doesn’t want you to find out, anything incriminating will be long deleted before she willingly lets you look through it
I get it...thats why I'm saying it doesn't matter. Not trying to be a know it all, but don't want you guys think I'm dense and not seeing it.
You don't say a motherfucking word even bordering on this. You don't approve, condone, or mitigate any cheating until you've talked with your attorney. You want to figure this all out. Hire a PI. Simple as that.
Illegally access her account (or exceed your authorization as the case may be) if you are cool potentially facing a federal lawsuit. Depends on what you need and where you're at. Id call a few in the area, explain the situation, and see what they recommend and the cost. May be cost prohibitive, but it is the most reliable option.
Had no idea that's a federal issue. A little sad I didn't know this half a decade ago. Any legal issues if he checked his g-mail on her phone and forgot to sign out?
not much. Not enough. 3 kids, big mortgage, two vehicle pymts, daycare, credit cards, insurance, life...she doesn't pitch in on any of it but the cell bill (she can see the records I assume) and utilities. Nm on the PI
It can be a federal law issue. Maybe not a winner, but an expensive distraction at the very least if counsel is knowledgeable and motivated. Wiretap Act is the buzz word but generally litigation would fall under the stored communications act. There are a few others that come into play on whether someone exceeded an authorization. All are complex as fuck. In your Gmail example, probably an expensive (12b6 likely won't get a dismissal) headache but no actual liability in the end. Just a really fact sensitive inquiry which doesn't lend itself to dismissal. Anyone that comes into court with emails/texts/electronic info obtained under circumstances that are even arguably dubious, we immediately make an issue of it until we figure things out. Unless you've got the money and stakes to warrant the fight over e-discovery, pursuing legit electronic discovery is throwing good money after bad.
Its sad. I'll make $100k this year but have nothing to spare. I work to live)provide. Some of that is my fault. Been slowly downgrading/watching spending the last year or so.
What does she do with "her" money? Sounds kind of spoiled not to kick in more than the minimum. ER RN Nurses make decent money
If he already has access to the account, there is no reason to ask whether he has the password to get into the account. If he has to enter the password without her knowledge or consent, it is an issue. Even if he can in fact access the account through whatever means, he can still get in trouble for exceeding his authorized access to the account depending on the circumstances (auto login vs she used the same password as Alexa, for example) and the state/circuit.
By using the logs every major provider keeps. IP addresses used to access the account. Time of access can exclude a person. Incorrect password attempts if you're having to guess the password. Activity once access was gained (i.e. Perusing a variety of emails vs clicking on one new email, searching for one sender/keyword, etc.)
Great question. A handful of times I've suggested sitting down. Put our bills out and figure out an actual budget. She wasn't having it.
Don’t put a tracker on her car Honda Hawk That was terrible advice. At least in California that has been considered stalking and can hurt your custody evaluation should it come to that.
She doesnt seem interested in being equal partners if you are barely making the nut and she is socking +$20k away every year.
What do her parents think of her attitude and how she "contributes" to her family? I'd be beyond disappointed if my daughter acted that way.
This is the hardest fucking thing I've ever gone through. The kids are what makes this incredibly complicated. Love them to death...could never step out on them or jeopardize their mental/safe well being.
Absolutely do not do this without checking your state laws first bc this is most likely highly illegal.
Agree with everyone. Acting desperate makes you do stupid things that you later regret. Never stalked, but 20 yr old H.E. did some pretty dumb/childish things in hindsight.
Man. That's a whole nother story. She's got three siblings...all divorced with kids . Oldest sister. Surgical nurse. Drunk. Not sure who's fault it was in the marriage but I know he's a loser. Two kids that they basically dumped on her folks (who are awesome) Fuck I'm seeing a pattern on not raising them. Then the brother. Massive alcholic and drug user. Always has a different girlfriend and manipulates them. Also divorced with kids. His ex is in Idaho with kids who are both in college...but he fled out to Iowa and has never held a job for over a year since I've known him. Really not a bad dude, but a sad deal. Sister two. About my age and has fucked her family up. Pill popping POS. Was a nurse til she got caught stealing meds. Recently divorced and Abonded her three daughters and husband. Moved in with her folks. Has been given THOUSANDS of dollars to help through her and her families financial crisis that she out them all into. I'm not a fan of her at all. Her folks are the best I could as for. Seriously. He was a police officer and then the Director of Public Safety for a University. Great stand up guy. Puts others first. Has had conversations with me questioning what did he and the wife do wring to raise such dumbass kids. They're stressed beyond belief. Her mom and I always agree on stuff...have our differences but we totally respect one another. She was the head nurse at said University. Great lady. Caring. Her mom knows. Dad doesn't. I don't think calling them will help anythjng. Sadly, as awesome as they are. Her mom is probably numb to the news because it's just another shit relationship. Not sure on what her dad will think. I do feel sorry for them.
Sounds like you should go see a lawyer first and start strategizing on how to leave this "woman", I think you'll be happier in the long run versus trying to save the relationship.
This shit is unacceptable. Going to say this as nicely as possible. You need to put your foot down. You are stretching yourself to the breaking point and are married to someone who it seems like couldn’t give a shitand you are letting her slide.
I understand sunk cost, but if things arent great at home the kids know it and while it sucked initially my parents getting divorced was much better in long run. With her family history any chance she is fighting an addiction? It sort of explains her hours and where the money maybe going.
I understand exactly where you’re coming from. You don’t realize it right now but you’re breaking yourself. Serious question. Do you have high blood pressure? The stress you’re going through is enormous and is probably taking a huge toll on your health. Wishing nothing but the best for you, hawk. Females can be extremely evil and it sounds like she’s one of those that are.
This lady sounds like a total bitch and not worth the trouble. Not paying her share of the bills or even entertaining it. Not doing anything around the house. But able to live the single life. Fuck her