Spoke with her a little bit the other night. She's unable to move out because she too is broke. I don't get it. She pays cell bill, utilities, and kids insurance. Off of last year's tax returns she brings in about $2600/mo. That's not a lot of money, but when your bills are at most $700/mo currently how can you not have anything saved? Ironically enough this morning got a knock on the door...electric company notifying us that the bill is past due and we'll be shut off. She's at work and I sent a text asking if she could take care of this asap. She did reply with "yep". Last month I gave her $300 cash to pay the city water bill (toilet that the kids use kept running and didn't catch it right away). I hope to hell she didn't pocket the cash .I'll soon have that hanging over my head. Should have just taken the money to the city. Dammit all. Last weekend she went to her parents to tell them what's going on...they're not happy and know that shes making a mistake. She asked for financial help and they can't because her two older siblings have been leaching off of them as well. How the hell does she expect to do this on her own? Grandpa maybe has something lined up for her (hopefully).
Sounds like drug addiction, man. Why else would she have no money? I know others have mentioned this before, but mixed with the erratic behavior, disappearing for long periods of time, and now she has no money? All the signs are there
Is it possible for you to get a copy of her bank statement? If so and you see tons of cash withdrawals, I think you’ll have your answer
Purses, clothes, hair, nails, Botox, pedicures, happy hours, etc. It’s fucking frightening what all that can add up to. Separate those financials ASAP.
True, I’m just thinking that mixed with all her other behaviors, it makes a lot of sense. I’ve seen this exact situation play out multiple times
We do not...thankfully. I did suggest it during our relationship and it never did happen. Probably because I'd see how much was going in and out. I believe a lot of it is the clothing, workout stuff, happy hours, and she does about 50% of groceries. 40% would be gas in the vehicles, but I have to text her to be sure she's putting in her share. Splitting hairs, annoying as hell...shouldn't be like this, but here I am. Christ.
Her financial issues aren’t your problem. She cheated, the relationship is over. Time for her to leave. She can either to it gracefully in a way that won’t impact her relationship with your children or it can be messy in a way that will make her look like a piece of shit.
I know it's been stated over and over but please speak with an attorney. If for no other reason than your children's future financial security.
don't do this yet Honda Hawk. Last thing you need is to be doing vindictive shit when you have a pending custody dispute.
Honda Hawk you got this. It’s gonna take a bit, but a year from now maybe sooner you’ll be feeling relief and Better than you have in a long time. Good luck my man. Keep us posted
Good Lord, for someone who claims to be a quasi-financial expert, my soon to be ex doesn’t understand the concept of how refinancing to buy out the other spouse’s equity works. She’s keeping the house & refinancing, and she actually sent me numbers that included deducting the increase in interest that she would pay over the life of the loan from my portion of the equity.
I haven’t yet, I called my attorney to make sure I wasn’t going insane and missed something somewhere along the way, but I also had to ask her something else anyway. Trying to figure out the best way to dunk on her without straight up calling her a dumbass.
We’re doing collaborative so I don’t think it’s her attorney, I think it’s probably her listening to some of her dumbass friends.
Are you going to buy a more expensive house than your old one? If so, pay her in kind if she really believes she can get that crazy offer.. Prorate it with your portion of the buyout.
You could build in a clause to keep a percentage of the future appreciation if she ever sells and really stick it to her next husband
I’m almost tempted to respond with “that’s fine, but I get a payout on the future appreciation of the house that is a minimum of the number you’re knocking off for increased interest, and it’s due in 5 years if you don’t sell before then”
But, really, Honda Hawk get a lawyer. You have the option of paying now ($) or paying later (custody of your kids and more $).
It looks horrible on him. I've told him he needs to go back to his stylist and demand his money back.
Send her an invoice for "future dating expenses". She won't be going on those dates but you wouldn't be incurring those costs if she weren't divorcing you.
Every time I see baby wipes I just think of some guy bending a random girl over, cleaning up her poop residue ass with baby wipes, then licking it up with his tongue
Whenever I see this thread bumped, I always gasp at the thought of another poster going through this stuff.