Tommy Tuberville running for Alabama senate with Sean Spicer as his Offensive Coordinator

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by DeToxRox, Apr 6, 2019.

  1. i am a bammer

    i am a bammer Ben Eblen>Jamychal Green
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    NHRA drag racers? TRANS
     
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  2. double RL

    double RL old school
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    Trump, Marge, tubs, and who is the fourth one seed?
    Boebert? I know we have a few more that aren't exactly literate. Seems like a tough competition for a one seed.
     
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  3. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    He hasn’t been in office long enough yet to get a higher seed but Lutnick’s making it out of the first weekend
     
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  4. Butthead

    Butthead Fan of: Oregon
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    Rfk jr
     
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  5. double RL

    double RL old school
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    The house has some pretty fucking dumb ones, but I guess rfkjr now qualifies.
     
  6. OldazzNinjaman

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    Boebert should be a one if Marge is
     
  7. Drown ‘Em

    Drown ‘Em The Candy Man
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    Boebert just confused Oliver Stone and Roger Stone during a congressional hearing. She’s definitely in the running.


    But Tubs is the 1,1, imo.
     
  8. Butthead

    Butthead Fan of: Oregon
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    Senator John Kennedy is an underrated pick but he's like a smart-dumb guy

    Like a dangerous 5 seed
     
  9. steamengine

    steamengine What decision? You got into Duke.
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    He’s not dumb, he’s pretending because he knows that’s what works.
     
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  10. Butthead

    Butthead Fan of: Oregon
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    I vividly remember some Louisiana online news site doing a "who said it: foghorn leghorn or John Kennedy"

    It was impossible to tell the difference
     
  11. Butthead

    Butthead Fan of: Oregon
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    He's a "simple country lawyer" who went to Vanderbilt
     
  12. Phil Connors

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    Yes, Tubs gets to wear his white uniform the whole tourney.


    IMG_7631.jpeg
     

    Attached Files:

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  13. steamengine

    steamengine What decision? You got into Duke.
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    And Oxford
     
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  14. CoastalOrange

    CoastalOrange Well-Known Member
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    Mike Lee might not be a #1 seed but he is absolutely in the #2 seeds pool.
     
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  15. double RL

    double RL old school
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    It definitely needs a kenpom system to weigh stupidity with pure evil to get a composite ranking.
     
    #1665 double RL, Apr 7, 2025
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2025
  16. Stone Cold Steve Austin

    Stone Cold Steve Austin Tickler Extraordinaire
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    Oh no
     
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  17. beeds7

    beeds7 Bitch, it's Saturday
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    Vance, Jordan, the new Press Sec. Shit, even the 8-9 game is going to be loaded.
     
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  18. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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    Shiiiit we could build out a solid NIT with leftovers.
     
  19. double RL

    double RL old school
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    That cunt has moved her seeding way up in record time.
     
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  20. snowfx2

    snowfx2 Well-Known Member
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    Mike Lee is a solid #3 if not a #2 seed
     
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  21. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    In her defense, 17 year olds don’t know much about anything.
     
  22. Drown ‘Em

    Drown ‘Em The Candy Man
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    Tim Burchett and Marsha Blackburn both have a fighting chance to get to the elite 8 or further, depending on their draws.
     
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  23. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
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    Buddy Carter from Ga is the 12 seed that blows out a 5 seed in the first round, wins by 7+ against a 4 seed in round 2 and gives the number 1 seed Tuberville all he wants in the sweet 16
     
  24. double RL

    double RL old school
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    I'm starting to realize that seeding the actual tournament would be way easier than separating the GOP from their varying degrees of excrement.
     
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  25. gilstein21

    gilstein21 Tight Rip 26 Seal Right
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    That south region would be a slugfest
     
  26. double RL

    double RL old school
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    No one has even mentioned Ted Cruz or Rand Paul. Mitch McConnell is still available. We could easily fill a 128 team bracket.
     
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  27. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Governor Hot Wheels gotta be in there too.
     
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  28. Fran Tarkenton

    Fran Tarkenton Old Enough to not know whats Chappell Roan
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    I dont think ppl like him and cornyn are dumb

    just cravenous invertebrates
     
  29. Owsley

    Owsley My friends call me Bear
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    Mark Robinson is being overlooked big time
     
  30. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Should still get them in the dance.
     
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  31. Tobias

    Tobias we’re on to tcu
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    he no longer holds office so he’s not eligible but big mark is 100% the #1 overall seed if he did

    cannot wait for the cretins here to vote for him to primary tillis so we get to see cooper beat him by 20 without breaking a sweat
     
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  32. Fran Tarkenton

    Fran Tarkenton Old Enough to not know whats Chappell Roan
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    black nazi was genius branding

    he read the republican party room better than most
     
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  33. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I think he was a fucking Rhodes Scholar.
     
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  34. The Banks

    The Banks TMB's Alaskan
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    Surprised that anything is named after Cecil Rhodes at this point.
     
  35. Butthead

    Butthead Fan of: Oregon
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    Prob the all time #1 I am familiar with was Steve King from Iowa, who said he was tired of white people getting run down for creating western civilization on live tv

    I think Chris Hayes was hosting and was awkwardly like "we... are not going to debate the history of western civilization on this show"
     
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  36. The Banks

    The Banks TMB's Alaskan
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  37. (Z)

    (Z) Well-Known Member
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    Yep. Everything about his current views and demeanor is fake. I know a lot of the current GOP who were southern democrats back in the day were very conservative, but he doesn’t even fit that mold.

    He was still a Dem in 2007, long after most had switched. and he was John Kerry’s Louisiana campaign chair in 2004 against Bush. He cares about his career and nothing else.
     
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  38. Fran Tarkenton

    Fran Tarkenton Old Enough to not know whats Chappell Roan
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    he was a DNC delegate up to 2004 for John Kerry in Boston

    wild how many of these current maga boomers had not lost their mind until hitting retirement age

     
    Butthead likes this.
  39. ramszoolander

    ramszoolander Guess what? Vulcan butt!
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    Well yeah, they're populists that are for sale to the highest bidder. It's easy to see that makes up the largest part of politicians these days. It's disgusting.
     
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  40. southlick

    southlick "Better Than You"
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  41. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    I hope he wins.
     
  42. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    Higher chance he ends up in prison than in the senate
     
  43. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    I got bad news for you
     
  44. Deuce

    Deuce Well-Known Member
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    Based on our history, he’s got a better chance of going to jail as Alabama Governor than in the Senate.
     
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  45. Nole0515

    Nole0515 Well-Known Member
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  46. Prospector

    Prospector I am not a new member
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    Where the Hell Does Tommy Tuberville Actually Live?
    The Alabama senator wants to prove he lives in Alabama in his bid for governor. So why did he vote in Florida?

    Alabama’s “dumbest” senator appears to be running an especially stupid con at the moment.
    In a gambit for Alabama’s governorship, Senator Tommy Tuberville is in the midst of trying to prove he actually lives there.
    In order to qualify for the race, Tuberville needs to prove state residency going back for at least seven years. That’s a far cry from the minimum public office standards he had to meet to run for Alabama’s Senate seat: The state required Tuberville to prove he lived there for just one day before he could throw his hat into the 2020 election.
    You’d think that proving his residence would be remarkably easy—if he actually lived there. The former Auburn football coach has failed to provide evidence for his long-term residency, for instance refusing to make public his income tax returns, according to Pulitzer Prize–winning columnist Kyle Whitmire. Instead, Tuberville has attempted to lean on his wife’s homestead exemption in Auburn, claiming that the residency loophole should be enough to prove he’s resided in the state since 2018.
    Except for one small hiccup: Tuberville voted in Florida that year.
    The oversight calls into question two major issues—if Tuberville was genuinely living in Alabama, then did he commit fraud by voting in the Sunshine State? Or, alternatively, has the Trump ally been fudging the numbers on his state residency in order to shoehorn his way to the top of Alabama’s executive leadership?
    A number of things occurred in 2017 that cast doubt on Tuberville’s residency. In February of that year, Tuberville’s wife registered to vote in Walton County, Florida, where the couple owns a $4.8 million beach house. In July, while recording an advert for ESPN, Tuberville said he had “moved to Santa Rosa Beach” six months earlier, calling it a “great place to live.”
    In October 2018, Tuberville’s wife and his son, Tucker, began claiming a homestead exemption on a three-bedroom home in Auburn that Tucker had purchased. The senator, however, did not, reported Whitmire. The following month, Tuberville and his wife both voted in Walton County, Florida.
    “If Suzanne Tuberville’s Auburn homestead exemption is proof of where Tuberville lives, then at this point, he’s voting in the wrong state,” reported Whitmire. “She was, too.”
    In March 2019, Tuberville registered to vote in Alabama using the address of the Auburn house. In an interview with talk radio host Dale Jackson two months later, Tuberville did not dispute that he had voted in Florida while claiming residency in Alabama.
    At a Shoals Republican Club meeting in August, Tuberville referred to himself as “a carpetbagger of this country,” specifying that he “has property’ but is not an “every-day resident of Alabama.”
    Years later, after Tuberville lied about what Alabama property he owned during an Alabama Republican Party forum, a 2023 investigation by The Washington Post found that he had “sold all Alabama property in his name, that Susanne Tuberville had continued to work as a real estate agent licensed in Florida but not Alabama, and that campaign records showed him spending extensive time on the Florida coast,” reported Whitmire.
    Tuberville himself seems unconvinced as to whether his messy and contradictory residency history will let him squeeze into the gubernatorial race. In an interview with the Alabama Daily News published Tuesday, the former football coach attempted to move the goalposts, claiming that Alabama law does not require him to live seven consecutive years in the Heart of Dixie.
    “You can go back to, as long as you’ve had a seven year … I was at Auburn 10 years and so I lived there for 10 years in a row,” Tuberville told the paper. “So it’s not your last seven years.”
    Article V Section 117 of the Alabama Constitution requires that the governor and lieutenant governor of the state each be “resident citizens of this state at least seven years next before the date of their election.”
     
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  47. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    They’ll let him run
     
  48. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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  49. ramszoolander

    ramszoolander Guess what? Vulcan butt!
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    Honestly probably less damaging for Alabama, too, if we can get someone decent in the Senate.

    And by decent, I mean at least works on the economy and, you know, WORKS.