When Showering...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Truman, May 15, 2019.

?

What do you use to wash your body?

  1. Wash Cloth

  2. Loofa

  3. Hands

  4. Other (pls specify)

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. DirtBall

    DirtBall Who Cares?
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    Fuckin Christ we got a bunch of banties in here. Use the cheap ass $2 Suave shampoo first. Gotta do it twice, once to get the gel out of my hair, the second to clean. Then I get that bar of Irish spring (with the moisturizing scrubbing beads) and start with the head and work my way down. After that I get that bar and make a nice lather in my hands, foam up my face again and shave. Brush my teeth. Then all I have to do is contemplate every decision I’ve made in my life for 20-30ish minutes and I’m done. I have immaculate hair/skin thanks to this fool proof method.
     
  2. BrickTamland

    BrickTamland You're not Ron...
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    Florida State Seminoles

    I’ll say until I’m blue in the face: Team green Dove for Men bar soap.

    It’s easily like twice as expensive as Irish Spring, but five times better. It’s mathematically a no-brainer.
     
    Champ and Tiffin like this.
  3. TC

    TC Show me your portfolio, pussy
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    I'm sorry sir. You've spent an amount on bathing products which makes you a homosexual
     
    DirtBall likes this.
  4. BrickTamland

    BrickTamland You're not Ron...
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    Florida State Seminoles

    Boy... if only that was what made me a homosex.
     
    DirtBall likes this.
  5. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Every man jack is my body wash of choice. I can't believe so many people use bars in 2019 :cmonson:
     
  6. racer

    racer Better call Saul!
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    You haven’t explored the bar soaps available in 2019, obvi.
     
    St. Jimmy, wes tegg and Tiffin like this.
  7. * J Y *

    * J Y * TEXAS
    Donor TMB OG
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    Just a PSA for y’all but my aunt has been doing some research on the internet and she thinks soap could cause autism. Something to think about.
     
    Tiffin and racer like this.
  8. Toast

    Toast I watch you sleep.
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    What is this "soap" that everyone's talking about?
     
  9. Tiffin

    Tiffin “Only time can give you mayonnaise.”
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    This explains so much.
     
    * J Y * likes this.
  10. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Wash ma pits, squeeze one out.
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    How many people with autism use soap? Think about it.
     
    FTK, dump, * J Y * and 1 other person like this.
  11. Nandor the Relentless

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    I don't use soap so what's my excuse then?
     
  12. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Wash ma pits, squeeze one out.
    Donor
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    Do you breath air? Chemtrails.
     
  13. * J Y *

    * J Y * TEXAS
    Donor TMB OG
    Texas LonghornsTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas Cowboys

    Did a mercury thermometer ever break off in your butt?
     
  14. Fusiontegra

    Fusiontegra My life is dope and I do dope shit.#SparedByThanos
    Donor TMB OG
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    Loofah for the shoulders-down, wash cloth for the face. The wife and I have separate ones, they get replaced after 3 showers.
     
  15. Nandor the Relentless

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    So how many loofahs do you buy each week?
     
  16. racer

    racer Better call Saul!
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    4.66666667
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  17. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    No mouth wash?
     
  18. Lucky24Seven

    Lucky24Seven Ain't nothing slick to a can of oil
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    I’m appalled at all of you that don’t wash your asshole last. Face, Chest, Pits, Dick, Balls, Legs, Feet, Ass.
     
  19. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    I start with my asshole, no soap. Makes everyday smell a little different. I love asparagus
     
    DirtBall and Lucky24Seven like this.
  20. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    I say this after much trial and error: asparagus doesn't change the smell of an asshole
     
    Fusiontegra, DirtBall, Tiffin and 3 others like this.
  21. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    You are right, I tried to slip one by
     
  22. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    We should meet
     
  23. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    I take body wash, rub a little above my crack, then spread my cheeks and allow the soapy water to run down and cleanse my chute
     
    Nandor The Relentless and IHHH like this.
  24. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    Is anything more frustrating than having to take a shit just when you get out of the shower?
     
  25. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Wash ma pits, squeeze one out.
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSt. Louis CardinalsDallas CowboysGame of ThronesSneakers

    I can assure you that if you put asparagus in your asshole it does indeed change the smell of your asshole. Where the heck are you putting it?
     
    Flagpole, Champ, ned's head and 4 others like this.
  26. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    Nebraska CornhuskersBig 8 Conference

    How long have you been putting asparagus in your asshole?
     
  27. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Wash ma pits, squeeze one out.
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSt. Louis CardinalsDallas CowboysGame of ThronesSneakers

    Lost the gerbil 3 and a half years ago and he’s gotta eat something
     
  28. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    Where do you put it? Hopefully not in your mouth, it creates bad breath
     
  29. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    Happened to me last Friday morning. Hopped back in the shower
     
    Nandor The Relentless and IHHH like this.
  30. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    Life is such a grind
     
    DirtBall likes this.
  31. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    I use our guesthouse bathroom because it has a detachable shower head that power washes my b-hole. Also a great tool for that hard to reach back-of-the-sack soapy lather.

    I reliably forget to bring a clean towel or fresh clothes over though, sooner or later the neighbors will press charges when they get sick of watching me scurry across the driveway in nothing but flip flops.
     
    TDCD, Goose, IHHH and 1 other person like this.
  32. Nandor the Relentless

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    Why not just upgrade the showerheads in the house?
     
    Tiffin likes this.
  33. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Do you think he’s made of money?!
     
    IHHH likes this.
  34. Nandor the Relentless

    Donor
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    Even my cheap ass has one.
     
  35. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksMississippi Rebels

    In your guest house?
     
  36. racer

    racer Better call Saul!
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    Maybe this toilet paper crisis will make people rethink their butthole hygiene.
     
    Nandor the Relentless likes this.