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Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Moxin24, May 16, 2016.
That's a dilly of a pickle.
i fat finger a ..private.. snapchat to the wrong person more often than i text the wrong person. definitely worse imo
My best friend was talking shit about FSU vs USF football game a few years back. He just wouldn't let me forget about the '09 game even though I never talked shit before hand.
I texted our other good friend that "Man Mike has been a dick lately".....sent it to Mike and my buddy who we were on group text together.
We've been friends for 25 years and he didn't speak to me for a few weeks.
I havent had too bad of luck with texting but snapchat is terrible. When you hit the button to send the snap, my finger occasionally hits the "most recent" contact down by the send button. Had a lot of fun explaining those..
i don't think so, but fuck that was a good one
Not quite the same thing but a few weeks ago I meant to text my wife "I love you" but instead I texted "Your ruined my life and used kids to trap me. I hate you, you fucking bitch"
That was an awkward night.
That joke was brought to you from 1988. Thanks for reading.
A friend of mine sent me a text asking if the girl I was banging's tits were as big as they looked in clothes. I responded "They look as good as imagined but lord at that sleeve of wizard." Only one problem, I sent it to the girl I was banging on accident.
Luckily, I got out of it by explaining something about my intense love of magic. But the panic at seeing that I had sent it to her was amazing, like a fireball of fear shooting from my stomach up to my eyeballs.
God what a nightmare
Lol so awesome
I would have thrown my phone in the trash
I'd rather lose a limb than do this.
I mean you have to tell your mom you were texting with Siri and you meant, "So I can come over on Friday right" don't you? Mom's going to be looking to buy any excuse you give her anyway.
I'm considering throwing my phone in the trash just to prevent such a thing. And I never send graphic texts to anybody.
Did the same
I made it past friedskillet's screencap without laughing in this meeting then I lose it at this.
A classmate stole my phone Senior year of HS and sent a sexually explicit text message to the first girl in my phone. That girl was my aunt and I'm pretty sure she still thinks I sent the message even though I explained what happened.
Similar situation. I had this kid working for me a few years ago. I liked him , but he had become disgruntled. Well, he submitted his resignation and I meant to forward it to my boss and I did to him instead, with the note, "Not gonna miss that guy."
Luckily, an IT person that no one liked quit that morning and I (un?)successfully played it off as I just mixed up the emails I was forwarding. I don't think he bought it, but it gave me some plausible deniability
is she hot?
I got a selfie snap one time that said "but I'm way more fun ;)"
I was all revved up till the next one was her freaking out telling me to ignore it it was for someone else
not a funny story but i sent my mother in law a text about how terrible her christmas present was. despite the fact it was an extremely shitty gift that i specifically told her i didn't want before she bought it i felt really bad about it. luckily for me her phone had been stolen that morning and she never got it.
I insta-delete all professional, familial texts as soon as they're finished to avoid these situations.
I rely heavily on notes.
Lol'd at "drop the phone in the sink and turn the water on." Just deliberately drop it in the sink and turn the water on. Make sure you pry it open to be sure the water really fries everything. Then hand her wet phone back to her in pieces. "I found your phone like this while you were outside."
A female friend of mine was finishing nursing school around this time two years ago. So in a group text with 10 other students/friends she's with in class, she sends us "I've passed my boards!" or whatever. I give her the "Congrats" text and move on.
My boys and I start a group text because we're going to have a bonfire/cookout and we need to know whose bringing what. I finally get around to replying by saying something like "I'll bring the fucking big sloppy sausages and Little Debbie cakes and you're going to enjoy every fucking little bite". Typical talk for my group of friends. Except the first message I guess back says "Who is this?" and then I get a "what?", yeah I replied that comment in my friends graduation ceremony chat. I still get embarrassed thinking about it.
are you 12 years old?
Not text but similar.
A guy on this board married an Asian. He posted about being married to an Asian has ruined Asian porn for him. Along with some other similar funny my life is over married stuff. I don't have Facebook for reasons. I guess there is a way to post the TMB link to your Facebook friends. He of course did this.
He go it down before anyone read it but I spent the next two hours after he did that trying to engage his wife and family in the hopes someone had read it from her or his family.
It has absolutely everything. Bitching about your wife. Talking about porn and masturbating to Asian porn no more.
His tirade about that function was awesome. I can imagine his fear when he sees that share from his Facebook.
~ taylor ~
Buddy of mine calls "Jenny" because he wants to talk shit to a chick he is banging semi-regularly with dudes in the car at 2am after the bar. Gets her on the phone says, "girl, where are you at. I want to get with you now." "I'm at our house?!" "Jenny?!" He called his sister not the Jenny he was banging. He never lived that down.
Not a text but I accidentally showed my best friend's gf my cock. I meant to show it but didn't know they were dating. He told me later that night and she never told him what I did.
She told a few of us without him there that all guys were self conscious of their dicks. I told her that was bullshit so a few minutes later when it was just me and her she told me to prove it so I did. She was sure I wouldn't do it. They were coworkers with a strict no dating policy and several in our group worked with them so they were secret for a long time other than I knew after that night.
Hey look. Hype has a big dick and wants to tell us!
Ate a shit ton of pizza rolls in college one night and was trying to text my roommate "I think I just shit out 20 individual pizza rolls", and promptly got a text from my very recently new girlfriend "I guess we are on that level now".
Didn't say it was huge. Just not bashful with it
Ole dickey-doo Kyle with another bullshit tale
I didn't donate until they removed that function.
Back when I first started at my current company, I was on a team with a bunch of catty women. One fatty got into it with another girl, and my desk was between them so I heard everything. We have an instant messaging system here, and fatty was trying to message her husband to voice her frustrations. She sent "I'm so tired of (Keely's) shit. If she keeps it up I'm going to kick her ass", except she sent it directly to the girl she was arguing with (Keely). That led to a verbal and almost physical altercation that I reluctantly had to step in between.
Fatty is the same woman that would drink entire bottles of syrup claiming she was sick, and would pass out at her desk. I took a few pics of her and posted them on here a few years back. Both have since been fired a couple years ago.
Had a former co worker text me "hey, can you hook a junkie up with some trams?"
"Oh my god texted the wrong guy"
"I was kidding btw"
I just responded with "you're my favorite junkie"
No texts since.
Tramadol? Tell him to start doing some real drugs instead of that weak ass shit
Had to text my wife (a nurse) to figure out what the hell he was talking about. Was shocked he wasn't into much worse shit. Guy was a trainwreck at work.
I'm funky, not a junkie, but I know where to get it.
she called me from a van heusen outlet store (that was having a sale). she asked if i wanted some polo shirts. they had vertical stripes, pockets & 4 buttons. i told her thanks but no thanks i wouldn't wear them. she bought them anyway.
and yes, i am 12
did he ask you to wear a strap on too?
Id rather be assfucked with a strapon than go to night game
Not text but,
Back in my early teens I worked with 3 of my buddies at a local pizza shop. One Friday night at about 10:30 it was just us 4 and our manager left working. I see one of my friends laughing on the phone as he signaled for all of us to come over. He puts it on speaker phone and it's someone with pretty impaired speech and breathing heavy.
He takes the order and hangs up laughing hysterically "did you hear how fat that lady was?? Have another pizza you fat tub of lard! I think her fat cheeks were catching on her green teeth <does impression of her talking about food>. What a slob, guarantee that pig is pushing 3 bills".
I'm looking at my manager, and she's looking pissed and starts to cry. My buddy looks at her and asks her what's up. "That's my Aunt....she has a brain tumor and it causes her to sound that way...she only has a few months to live".
My buddy crawled away, and we just stood there while she cried. I've never felt more uncomfortable in my life.
as a matter of fact he did
The email thing I mentioned earlier still makes me uncomfortable to think about and it happened like 5 years ago.
This is also the way I text the wrong person. Just unlock my phone and start texting without looking who the recipient is because I'm a complete fucking moron.
My grandma gave me her Xanax when I told her I was stressing about school.
You should start a stupid things we have said that will make you cringe thread and post this IMO