I must've misunderstood you, because I took the exclusive gatekeeper comment to mean consent. What do you mean by gatekeeper? Additionally, I think your point about abstinence only education is crazy. I'm not saying that kids should stop boning. I'm saying that kids should either get clear consent or prepare for the consequences of operating in a legal gray area. Also, I really want you to answer how women being exclusive gatekeepers causes rape culture in college.
I'm not even gonna get into how this shit has consequences in the workplace and how fucked up it is that an attractive 25 year old girl can't be the right hand man of her 50 year old boss because everyone thinks he's trying to bang her. It's a lot easier to just hire the slightly less qualified 25 year old guy to be your right hand man. Then that kid goes on to be CEO and the female makes less money than she should have.
Thread sucks now. Was hoping for more pics of teacher. Instead, rape culture argument recycled for the 100th time.
That's definitely the safest route to go... it's just not practical, depending on what type of school you teach at. example being: if you teach at a private school with a bunch of me-first entitled white kids, have a final or semester project due the following week, and all you give them is an email as a way to contact you outside the classroom... your ass better be checking your email every 15 minutes the entire weekend. because the headmaster is gonna rip you a new asshole when a rich parent, that donates a lot of money to that school, tears into the principal because his/her 4.2gpa daughter was having problems with ______ over the weekend and was unable to get in touch with their teacher. and it caused a lot of emotional stress on their child. you could probably get away with your email-only policy in public school. maybe. in a private school where parents pay college-tier tuition for their kids to go to a college prep highschool... good luck. This actually happened to my 8th grade science teacher and 9th grade english. late-20s and still liked to have a social life on the weekends and chicks in my grade got her and him fired for incessant bitching by their parents that their girls couldn't get in touch with them for classwork-related shit on the weekends.
How does our society view a relationship between man and woman? It expects the male to court a female. At a party, which sex is expected to "try to get some tonight?" Which sex is high fived after a one night stand, and which sex is shamed by her friends after a one night stand? The male who is getting all sorts of women is a "ladies man," and the girl who is getting all sorts of men is a "slut." That's why I say that men are viewed as predator and women viewed as prey. She's considered the gatekeeper. She either lets a guy get her, or she doesn't. It isn't viewed as this mutual thing. He "earned" some sex and she "let him have it." When alcohol is thrown into the equation, gray areas start popping up. Did she really "let him have it" or was she coerced into it a little too much? And where's the line between him trying to earn it and trying too hard to earn it? If neither sex carried these expectations, it would be better moving forward. That's all I'm trying to say.
Yea, the mug shot is what gave away her not giving a fuck about her husband. It wasn't her fucking one of the kids from homeroom.
Bumble allows women to initiate conversations by texting things like "hi" or "how are you" to men. CHECK. MATE. BITCH.
I agree with you that society currently exalts men for their sexual conquests and denigrates women for their sexuality. I think it's total and complete bullshit, and it harms women. I'm not trying to be obtuse, but I still don't understand what you mean by "gatekeeper." It seems like you're talking about society pressures at one point, and it pivots to consent when you're talking about having sex.
A few weeks ago in the town I grew up, the elementary school principal had to resign for texting HS girls to come hangout in his hot tub while his wife was away.
When a girl wakes up the next morning she gets to decide if she just got blackout and had sex with that guy she had her eye on or if she was raped as she couldn't consciously have given consent. The mans fate is at her feet. She gets to decide if she let him through the gate or not post facto. The male has no say.
my buddy's a 7th grade teacher and used to be xbox friends with a couple of his students until i got wasted and played on his account and called them all little pussies as i crushed them in battlefield he doesn't let me play his xbox anymore ;(
I think the first part of your statement is caused by the predator/prey complex is my main point. He's "earned his conquests" and she's "given hers away." I think you're more thinking about giving a yes or no to the guy inserting his dingaling, I'm more talking about societal pressures, but they are one in the same. She gives the Yes or No answer at the end of the day, which is why I refer to the woman as the gatekeeper. I don't think that role should be hers exclusively is the main point I'm trying to make. In certain couples, maybe she should be the aggressor and he should be giving the yes/no answer, and we should all be fine with that. In other couples, he should be the aggressor and she should be given the yes/no answer, and we should be fine with that. Currently, that's not how we view things. It's why we high five our son when he bangs a 24 year old teacher and then want to beat the 24 year old teachers ass when he's getting a little too friendly with our daughter. The male's role is predator, the female's role is prey.
I don't give my number to my students. I tell them to email me and I'll answer them right away just like I would a text. Can't see any reason they'd need my phone number. I started coaching varsity girls at 25. It ended up being way less weird and awkward than I expected.
The male can preemptively choose not to stick his dick in someone who's clearly impaired. I think a better argument is that a woman, as the person being entered, has the ability to vitiate consent at any moment during the sexual encounter. That's the gray area that TH and eHo can't come together on, imo.
Ultimately, you're saying that you disagree with the woman being the sole person deciding consent. I fundamentally disagree, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Please give me an example of a "dual gatekeeper" role that doesn't have horrifying consequences. My position is that men being falsely accused of rape due to the intoxication of both parties is a far more acceptable danger than anything you can suggest.
Well I think it's borderline bananas that this very complicated issue boils down to men being the predator and women being the prey
Anyone being falsely accused of anything is wrong and you think its an acceptable risk? How can you type those words honestly? There are real/damaging consequences to anyone being falsely accused of any crime let alone one of the most heinous crimes a human can commit.
Its an even more difficult standard to uphold when a female is at one moment asking you to do it and 8 hours later asking if you had sex the night before.
From what I can tell, you're saying there is no possible role for a dual gatekeeper so we should err on the side of the female because.
I'm saying that you can't come up with a better suggestion. Apparently my suggestion is so ridiculously heinous that you can't believe I'm serious. Should be an easy task, then.
What if you're both impaired and consenting until the next morning when she's full of regret? What if you as the male wake up the next morning and decide you were raped?
I don't have a solution. I don't think anyone does. I think rape is heinous and should be punishable the same way as murder as you are ending a life as it once could have been. I also think innocent males are sitting in jail for having sex with a willing partner.
It's a risk reward thing to me. If there's a risk that she'll have regrets the next day, I just wouldn't do it.
Ha. This is like exactly the point of my post that you freaked out over. You may not like the consent laws as we have them, but ANY discussion of a "dual gatekeeper" in sexual consent is absolutely and completely fucking insane.
I think it's a big problem in our society and a big hindrance to true equality for women, but yeah my few paragraphs on this message board isn't enough to cover it. Tell me how anything I'm saying is wrong.
How would you know? I get what you're saying and the logical thought. When you've both been drinking all night and end up having sex, your sense of risk is fucked. It's just shitty when the female wakes up the next morning claiming rape when she was a more than willing participant. I had a friend in college that almost had his life ruined from this.
I've never had it happen to me and I'm not saying it doesn't. In a perfect world I'd try to avoid having sex with someone severely intoxicated is all I'm saying.
Why wouldn't you be able to check emails on the weekend? I'd just have my school email alerts on my phone so if they emailed it to me I'd see it. My coworkers don't even have my cell phone number.
Nah, I'm the same. I just can't tell you how many times while living in Athens two people were shitfaced drunk and ended up fucking. Neither knew the others name the next morning and never saw each other again. It's extremely common.