Your move Ohio/Florida

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by UncleJesse, Jun 26, 2015.

  1. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse She came up and asked if I wanted a Big Mac.
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    http://whnt.com/2015/06/25/deputies...nutes-until-mommy-makes-nice-with-girlfriend/

    Deputies: Elkmont teen kills 1 chicken every 15 minutes until mommy makes nice with girlfriend

    LIMESTONE COUNTY, Ala. – An Elkmont teenager was arrested Thursday after he followed through on a bizarre threat to kill his mother’s chicken unless she mended the relationship between him and his girlfriend.

    Haden Smith, 18, was arrested Thursday and charged with domestic violence third degree and criminal mischief. Deputies say the situation started when Smith texted his mother, threatening to kill one of her chickens every 15 minutes until she contacted his girlfriend’s parents and attempted to mend their broken relationship.

    Smith gave his mother a deadline of noon before he started to kill the chickens. He also threatened to burn his mother’s house down, kill any deputies that arrived on the scene, and kill himself, according to the sheriff’s office.

    He then began sending his mother picture messages of each chicken he killed at 15 minute intervals, killing six in total before he was arrested, deputies say.

    There’s no word on Smith’s current relationship status.
    [​IMG]

     
    BlazingRebel, 5pyker, oldberg and 5 others like this.
  2. Jigga

    Jigga I am Steve Rogers
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    Gotta hand it to him. At least his plan was original

    recipe
     
  3. HotMic

    HotMic Mr. So-and-So
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  4. Van Earl Right

    Van Earl Right Allllllllllllllllllll Day, Errrrrrrrrrrrry Day

    Did he choke them?
     
    Beeds07, AIP and 941Gator like this.
  5. jhooked

    jhooked It's the way you go na, na, na
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    :laugh:
     
  6. Arkie Proud

    Arkie Proud The Dungeon Master
    Staff

    That's just fowl.
     
  7. HotMic

    HotMic Mr. So-and-So
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    I wonder when he hatched this plan?
     
    Wicket, Ace Boogie, 42yard and 25 others like this.
  8. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse She came up and asked if I wanted a Big Mac.
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    I guess his mom thought he was just playing a game of chicken and wouldn't really do it.
     
    shawnoc, KNOTT, Doug and 6 others like this.
  9. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Don’t touch the bike
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  10. Odin

    Odin Professional Cunt
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    love this state
     
  11. Magneto

    Magneto Thats right, formerly Don Brodka.
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    So he wanted mommy to fix his busted relationship?

    Also if he killed 6 chickens then he was doing it for 90 minutes before anyone intervened?
     
  12. Magneto

    Magneto Thats right, formerly Don Brodka.
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  13. HotMic

    HotMic Mr. So-and-So
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    The police were actually on their way sooner, but the suspect was using a radar scrambler.
     
  14. Oracle of Omahawg

    Oracle of Omahawg Swine Flu Carrier
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    Won't be long before another teen poaches this idea.
     
  15. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Florida Gators

    You call that a competition, bama? We'll have a guy run down i75 naked with a baby in his arms by noon, bitch.
     
  16. Van Earl Right

    Van Earl Right Allllllllllllllllllll Day, Errrrrrrrrrrrry Day

    Lock thread, it's all ova
     
    broken internet and ~ taylor ~ like this.
  17. Prospector

    Prospector I am not a new member
    Arkansas Razorbacks

    Peta will be all over this crazy white yokel. He's going to fry
     
    ~ taylor ~, Jorts and Van Earl Right like this.
  18. Sterling A

    Sterling A Uh, apology accepted, ass-douche
    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta BravesMiami HeatMiami DolphinsTennis

    Florida man reaches inside woman and disembowels her for uttering ex’s name during sex



    [​IMG]
    A Florida man was charged with murder over the weekend after he admitted that he disemboweled his girlfriend because blurted out her ex-husband’s name while they were having sex.

    Sunrise police responded to a 911 from Fidel Lopez at around 3:39 a.m. on Sunday and found his girlfriend Maria Nemeth’s naked body on the floor, the
    Sun Sentinel reported.

    An arrest report said that blood and tissue were found scattered throughout the couple’s apartment, and blood was smeared on the walls. The bathroom door had been ripped off the hinges. Police also found a bottle of tequila and cut limes in the kitchen.

    Neighbors told officers that loud noise could be heard coming from the home for several hours.

    During initial questioning, Lopez claimed that the two were having rough sex when Nemeth went into the bathroom, vomited and then died.

    Lopez later admitted that he had become a “monster” when Nemeth twice uttered her ex-husband’s name during sex. He said that he had inserted a beer bottle and a curling iron in Nemeth’s vagina and anus. Lopez suggested that she had been too intoxicate to resist, according to WFOR.

    He said that he then inserted both fists, before putting his arm in her up the elbow and ripping out intestinal matter. Lopez told authorities that he had a cigarette after disemboweling Nemeth, and after he finished it she had stopped breathing.

    Sunrise police arrested Lopez on charges of first-degree murder.
     
    #20 Sterling A, Sep 21, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2015
  19. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    Jesus christ, you win Florida.
     
  20. SmoochieWallace

    SmoochieWallace Ipse dixit
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    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay LightningArsenal

    :blech: That's enough internet for the day.
     
  21. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Don’t touch the bike
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    FATALITY!
     
  22. Owsley

    Owsley My friends call me Bear
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    For one of the first times in my life, I'm speechless.
     
  23. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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  24. Fusiontegra

    Fusiontegra My life is dope and I do dope shit.#SparedByThanos
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    [​IMG]
     
    xec, YNWA, Jorts and 1 other person like this.
  25. Jack's Colon

    Jack's Colon Well-Known Member
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  26. Jack's Colon

    Jack's Colon Well-Known Member
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    And I'm FROM Florida
     
  27. Rebelution

    Rebelution I'm not superstitious but I am a little stitious.
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  28. Connor Norman

    Connor Norman Cool ass dog
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    Congrats on the Undisputed National Championship, Florida.
     
  29. Magneto

    Magneto Thats right, formerly Don Brodka.
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    Please Ohio don't even try to top this.
     
  30. CloudBerry

    CloudBerry Well-Known Member
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    Jesus Christ, I was just coming in here to make a chicken pun.
     
  31. Oracle of Omahawg

    Oracle of Omahawg Swine Flu Carrier
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    Certainly gives new meaning to "getting up in them guts".





    I'll show myself to the door.
     
  32. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
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  33. Nole96SC

    Nole96SC Old Member
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  34. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    I never even thought about just grabbing a handful of inner pussy and ripping it out before.
     
  35. Taffy

    Taffy Token Brit poster
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    I was just double fisting my wife.

    Crazy.
     
  36. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    Guess you didn't want any to-go huh?
     
  37. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Don’t touch the bike
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    Did he put both in the vag and yank or one in the pink, one in the stink and pull?
     
  38. HotMic

    HotMic Mr. So-and-So
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  39. Nick Rivers

    Nick Rivers Skeet Surfin
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    Hard pass on the sloppy seconds.
     
  40. JonathanCoachman

    JonathanCoachman The Coach
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    I feel like Mortal Kombat is to blame here. That game fucked this dude up as a child.
     
  41. Jigga

    Jigga I am Steve Rogers
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    I think there was a lot more than that
     
  42. Seavie

    Seavie Loading tweet...
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    Alabama Crimson Tide

    Ok then MK and Doom
     
  43. Prospector

    Prospector I am not a new member
    Arkansas Razorbacks

    Road raging Florida man points gun at a mom and her son, ends up accidentally shooting himself
    by Jen HaydenFollow

    [​IMG]
    Be careful where you are pointing that thing, Florida man!
    Oh, Florida Man....you've done it again. Melissa Drake and her son said a man was driving erratically, brake-checking them and then they realized he was actually pointing a handgun at them. Apparently he didn't think the handgun was doing the trick, so he pulled out something even bigger:
    Drake called 911, reported the driver's license plate, and told the operator what had happened.
    While she was on the phone, Drake said the driver of the Mercedes backed his vehicle up in traffic and crossed several lanes. It wasn't that action that shocked her most, though. It was what she saw him holding.

    "As we're going by, he has an assault rifle now following us," Drake said. "I saw the scope and I thought 'Oh my God.'"

    They went in different directions, but just a few minutes later, police got another 911 call:
    Gayle Sarceno described a man hopping on one leg after jumping out of his car at that intersection.
    "He's spewing blood from his leg," Sarceno said. "He just drops, right there in the center lane."

    Sarceno and another man began first aid on the driver.

    "He said his name was Alex, that he'd shot himself in his car, and the bullet was still in there," Sarceno said. "[He said] the gun was still in the car."

    Let's hope Alex gets some mental treatment at whatever Florida hospital is now recovering in.​
     
    BlazingRebel and Nole0515 like this.
  44. Oracle of Omahawg

    Oracle of Omahawg Swine Flu Carrier
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    Ok now they are just running up the score to pad their stats.
     
  45. Sean Connery

    Sean Connery I'll take Whore Ads for $200
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    [​IMG]
     
  46. Nick Rivers

    Nick Rivers Skeet Surfin
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland IndiansCleveland CavaliersTennis

    Man who calls police to say he’s ‘too high’ found in pile of Doritos
    POSTED 7:45 AM, OCTOBER 8, 2015, BY WEB STAFF
    [​IMG]
    AUSTINTOWN, Ohio — An Ohio man made a strange, and not-so-wise call to police last Friday to tell them that he was “too high” on marijuana,according to the Huffington Post.

    Police arrived at the 22-year-old man’s home at approximately 5:20 p.m.

    There, they found him on the floor “in a fetal position,” surrounded by, “a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies.”

    According to a police report, the man told the officer that he couldn’t feel his hands because he smoked too much weed.

    The 22-year-old gave the officer the keys to his car, where he had smoked the pot. The cop recovered a glass pipe, rolling papers, roaches and a glass jar of marijuana.

    According to the police report, charges are pending for drug possession and drug paraphernalia.
     
  47. Hugo Boss

    Hugo Boss The poster formerly known as CarolinaRPh
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    That's not even in the same league as disemboweling someone with your bare hands.
     
    oldberg, tjsblue, Baron and 3 others like this.
  48. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
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    Ah yes... Austintown. Home of one BuckeyeRiot
     
    BuckeyeRiot likes this.