she works for a pretty large recruiting firm outside of Atlanta and i'm fairly certain it was additional coverage that she had to opt into at the enrollment period. (i think-not 100% sure on the details of that)
Ah ok that makes sense. I know those firms and also some financial / banking companies have amazing benefits.
Don’t know if this is the right place for this but please argue with your relatives that vote Republican https://www.al.com/news/2024/02/uab...due-to-fear-of-prosecution-officials-say.html
Really appreciate the post. This was my goal at least for TMB. Inspired by my wife actually who has really made herself available to other women she meets who she learns is going through it. My wife then just offers to be someone to talk to. But can’t say I ever talked about it with anyone
Our insurance in Atlanta had it. It wasn’t a dollar amount but it was something like 3 lifetime attempts were covered. So one IVF cycle would be an attempt. IUI would also count as an attempt but it’s a trap since that’s just a few hundred dollars OOP vs IVF which is 5 figures. my fortune 50 company now has a family planning benefit outside of insurance which is like $75K lifetime. I probably could have used it for embryo storage if we still had them on ice.
I'm at a fortune 50(was fortune 10 until last year) and while we have nice benefits there's nothing for that. This may be "no shit man" post but I will say to everyone that's starting, regardless of how good your benefits are get your wife on a supplemental plan.
We’re going to start discussing IVF here soon. Were both admittedly uneducated in this area. We’re doing genetic testing next week. The only issue we for sure have is something about her cervical shape, which could cause some issues. And a family history of endometriosis
Friends of ours just had their first through IVF, they just moved back to Bham from out west Shit sucks so bad
Thanks for posting this thread. 10 years ago, my wife and I dealt with infertility issues. It was probably 2-3 years of trying different things including multiple IVF cycles… I want to say it was 4-5 cycles. We were started the process when we were both in our late 20s because we had been trying for 7 years. Doctors could not figure out what the issue was with either one of us. We were young, fit and all of our testing metrics were fine. after 3 years of trying, including 2 cycles at one of the best hospitals in the country, we gave up. A few months after our last IVF cycle, we were at an adoption conference in Boston. It was an all day thing and my wife couldn’t stay awake. She was so stressed out for so long that she wasn’t sleeping well and we attributed her exhaustion to it. The conference was brutal. A lot of crying, a lot of hard stories, but we walked away determined to make it happen. After that conference, we left the next day to travel 10 hours to my parents place. We were going to give up everything and move closer to my family to have a support system for adoption. The plan was to spend a week there in a few nice hotels and try to find a place to buy. She slept the whole drive down aside from a pit stop. At that pit stop she asked me to get in the back of the SUV. I assumed she was sad and wanted a hug, so I climb in the back. Much to my surprise, she just wanted to bang. My wife had never acted like that… it was weird but whatever, she’s going thru a lot. We get back on the road, she sleeps the rest of the way. We get to the first hotel and she barely gets out of bed. I assume she is just really sad and we ended up not looking at a single property. She slept, she wanted to bang a lot, and I ended up walking endless miles around a college town just to pass the time. We get back home a week later and things are the same. Lots of sleeping and a much ramped up sex life. My dumbass didn’t think anything of it. About 3 weeks after getting back, she’s feeling awful and asks me to go get a pregnancy test. She was waaaay late on her period at this point, but her cycle was all out of whack due to all the horomones. I walk to get the pregnancy test. Yes, whatever, we’ve burned through hundreds of these things over the years. 8 years ago, I was standing in my kitchen making kimchi chicken for dinner when my wife started screaming from the bathroom. The test was positive. We got in our car the next day and went straight to her doctor. We didn’t have an appointment but she demanded to see her. She was pregnant… almost 2 months pregnant. After all that trying and stress, we had gotten pregnant naturally. fast forward 3.5 years after baby 1 and we conceived baby 2 naturally as well. We have no idea why things were do difficult, but we think about how we had just given up and moved on and then boom. we made some incredible friends along the way through my wife’s support group. People we would never associate with are now some our best friends. Everyone in the group ended up having families via different methods and we all get together once a year. It’s pretty magical. Aside from my wife’s sadness and giving every ounce of my being to her, the second most exhausting thing was that I had no on to talk to about it. There were countless women’s infertility groups to join, but none for men. When I would go to my wife’s support groups, the men were fuckjng dicks. It was depressing.
Good luck man. Come here for support as needed but stay positive. IVF is expensive and requires a lot of time and work but it will give you the best chance and then I hope it will work and you’ll see it was worth it
One last thing…. My DMs are wide open on this topic. If anyone wants to ask questions or chat off the record. I’m here.
My company covers IVF fully I also work for a large European med device company with great benefits. Have another buddy works for a large pharma and he’s the same way.
I can’t imagine how devastating this is for the people currently there and maybe already even down the road of medication and planning.
Unexplained infertility, multiple failed IUI's, a failed IVF followed by two successful adoptions and miraculously getting pregnant at 39. We now have three boys, 11, 7 and 5. It's been a crazy journey. So much I could write but it would be pages and a lot of babble. For anyone on their own journey, keep going. We legit wanted to give up multiple times, I can barely get through typing this out...
This is a wild story and thanks for sharing. On the last part with support groups and support for men, in the moment I felt like I couldn’t complain because of how much harder it was on her (which is true!). But that shouldn’t mean it isn’t taking a toll on the partners. It I had this feeling like even if I had someone to talk to, I might not feel like it was my place to complain and instead be strong or whatever. But it took a huge mental toll. at least the whole thing comes with frequent guaranteed sex (amirite fellas) so that kept us from becoming more distant
It is a long, typically slow process where you put yourself at complete risk and its invasive into who you are (background checks, social workers, home visits, everything about you and your partner). Financially, emotionally, the sheer pressure it often puts on a relationship. It's exhausting and I struggled greatly with elevated anxiety through both adoptions. May seem obvious but it is a full on legal process with lawyers, agencies and the documentation needed alone was insane. Every state has different laws too. We worked with adoption friendly states. I write all this because I want to be honest, but I'm afraid it scares people away. I'm sitting here typing all this watching the price is right with my 11 year old. I fucking love my son (all my sons) beyond anything I ever imagined. Everything we went through was worth it, absolutely everything.
The first question we were asked at the infertility clinic was about the health of our marriage. That caught me off guard but infertility can wreck and destroy relationships. The stats are pretty scary if I remember. They offered us couples counseling but we declined. You are absolutely right about the toll it takes on both people. I agree and disagree on the sex, it was great at first but after a while it was pressure filled for me and it was the only time in my life I sometimes didn't want to have sex. Crazy I know but apparently it happens, the fun got taken away.
We Might have been asked that. It makes sense that they would or at least be honest about the stress the process can cause. Not to mention the stress likely makes the chances of a successful pregnancy worse.
I know its an internet message board, but if you need any support, message me. I am genuinely excited for you!
This is where were at. After trying for our 2nd on about our 5th or 6th IUI. We debate is it worth spending the money on IVF for a possibility or put that money into the adoption part.
This is almost the words out of my mouth. Those months of failed conception trying through sex and than a few failed IUI. It was SUPER rough on the relationship. Also with the sex part, it became no longer fun. I would stress so much and wanted it to be a quickie. There was no love or sexual craving, it was a job. Than it was mental and I started having, can't believe Im putting this out there, but Erectile Dysfunction because I was so turned off and mentally out of it.
We have frozen embryos in Mobile. What a fucking disaster of a court ruling. We just did a transfer for IVF baby #2 2 weeks ago. Would have been disastrous if this ruling came out a little earlier. And still could be if the pregnancy fails.
Oh I’m not embarrassed at all. I love giving info on this subject because I know most people don’t know and I felt alone and the more you talk about it, the more common you find out it is.
Good luck, Gump. Second round was the charm for us. Fortunately expended all of our embryos and don’t have to deal with this bullshit.
Bingo. My wife and I are very transparent about our experiences in person. It’s amazing the stories you’ll hear if you just open up. It forms bonds very quickly.
Trying to get pregnant sex sucks after a couple of months, imo. Can't imagine years Flowers to all itt
They can amend the wrongful death to a minor statute to define “child” in a way that excludes embryos outside the womb or they could pass another statute defining the term in all contexts in a way that would exclude this absurd result. They’ll instead probably create some kind of blanket immunity and cap damages.