Lawyer thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Jax Teller, Apr 8, 2015.

  1. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    ¡Good luck executing a judgment in Brasil!
    CAF87A70-A6C3-4E64-855E-ED75844147F2.gif
     
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  2. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida Gators

    Nah, what happens is they come along for the ride when I join them into the case along with defendants that have coverage to avoid the empty chair. Even if they get dropped downstream they're still looking at $50k - $100k down the tubes for the misadventure.
     
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  3. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
    Donor TMB OG
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersTiger WoodsInter Miami CFGame of ThronesMiami Heat

    My field is pretty paint by numbers. Takes me no more than 30 min to prep for a depo. Do that on Friday’s before I leave for the weekend. Haven’t gone to trial yet, but when that day comes I’ll have to work a weekend. I’m fine with that for the once in a blue moon trial.
     
  4. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
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    Oh, I was completely kidding.
     
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  5. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    Bamanug gets put on retainer and disappears into the jungle for 10 days with no contact with the outside world while his clients need to negotiate and close a loan. Good use of that retainer :laugh:
     
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  6. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
    Donor
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    They'll probably be psychonaut-ing in the jungle with me, tbh
     
  7. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    Are we talking about a $200/month retainer?
     
  8. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
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    Can you flee the country while being sued? Or do they only block you if it's criminal?

    I'd bounce south of the border so fast.
     
    #15258 Nug, Mar 19, 2022
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2022
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  9. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
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    $5,000/month. $50K up front.
     
  10. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    For something you know nearly nothing about? You negotiated a guaranty with an empty shell company…

    A fool and their money are soon parted. Godspeed and have fun drafting title objection notices from a hammock on the beach
     
  11. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
    Donor
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    I'm not being serious Counselor Jello.

    I think you and I have much different tolerances for risk.

     
  12. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    In fairness, your answer to general real estate questions could be “we need outside counsel.”
     
  13. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    Green Bay PackersNew Orleans SaintsGrateful DeadMississippi Rebels

    No doubt. But your initial post implies you have no idea what you’re doing and states that you don’t have the discipline to teach yourself. My point is that you’re not going to be able to wing it for your clients like you do for your personal matters. Depending on the issue, real estate can be technical. You’re not a technical kinda guy
     
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  14. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
    Donor TMB OG

    Bamanug should get into cannabis law
     
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  15. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    He should get put on retainer for criminal defense, employment law, immigration law, and intellectual property, too
     
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  16. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
    Donor
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    It's so fucking competitive out here. There are a few big firms that have that market cornered. And I don't really smoke weed anymore, sadly.

    But, I think there's gonna be a new area for psychedelics with psilocybin being decriminalized in WA and OR. I bet it's being sold at the weed shops in the next 2-3 years.
     
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  17. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
    Donor
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    "Well, it depends."

    I like to think of myself as whatever the opposite of imposter syndrome is. Fake it til you make it everyday. Or until you get caught with your pants down.
     
  18. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    Somewhat relevant. Was talking to a guy last night who said fuck the billable hour and setup his own shop using fixed price agreements. Said this book changed how he views the business of law

     
  19. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    Hence the malpractice insurance suggestion
     
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  20. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida Gators

    One way to make up your income by moving to value pricing is certainly selling a book about value pricing for $70.
     
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  21. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
    Donor TMB OG

    go ahead and start writing psychedelics law blogs and making youtube videos discussing it and corner the SEO market for that
     
  22. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    Is this guy from Birmingham, and is he coincidentally also in the inheriting business?
     
  23. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    Negative
     
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  24. Bricktop the white

    Bricktop the white Well-Known Member

    BamaNug lets become the go-to lobbyists for the burgeoning psilocybin mushroom industry.
     
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  25. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
    Donor
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    WA and OR are reciprocal bro.

    And unauthorized practice of law abroad is a myth.
     
  26. Bricktop the white

    Bricktop the white Well-Known Member

    Now we just need to get the rest of tmb to buy a production facility and have the mushrooms stocked up and ready to go for when we get them legalized.
     
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  27. (Z)

    (Z) Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideBoston Red Sox

    Real estate law. One of the things I realized I knew absolutely zero about when I graduated law school.

    Doing a title search. :killme:
     
  28. Gallant Knight

    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksHouston AstrosRice OwlsAston Villa

    Thank you Astros for recognizing the importance of safety lawyers

    F57FC6B5-F325-4B7C-B84D-6F624FD6E4C2.png
     
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  29. harvey birdman

    harvey birdman Ha ha! Last laugh.
    Donor
    ArsenalFlorida Gators

    You are an officer of the court
     
  30. bwi2

    bwi2 Not affiliated with BWI
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    I’m like 99% sure this is just a sophisticated phishing scheme. Nationals have had this discount in place for years and it never works.
     
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  31. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideSeattle MarinersAtlanta BravesNew Orleans Saints

    In the past 2 weeks I've had two fatalities referred directly to me -- one from my old law firm in AL and one from a client in WA.

    Today my boss asked my about staying on parttime/contract "indefinitely."

    Part time unauthorized practice of law abroad 4 lyfe
     
  32. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
    Donor TMB OG

    fatalities as plaintiff counsel or on defense side? guessing the latter.
     
  33. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideSeattle MarinersAtlanta BravesNew Orleans Saints

    Man if it was Plaintiff I'd be posting in ALL CAPS and looking at new mountain cabins.
     
  34. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
    Donor TMB OG

    Congrats on the billables
     
  35. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    For the first time in my young career, I’ve got two trials that definitely look to be going. Mid April and early May. The April one is a real loser, but excited for the experience I suppose.
     
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  36. Gallant Knight

    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksHouston AstrosRice OwlsAston Villa

    What are some facts
     
  37. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    Is there anything worse than lawyer social media posts?

    Screenshot 2022-03-24 084703.png

    [​IMG]
     
  38. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
    Donor TMB OG

    wow that is ultra cringy . that's probably the worst I've ever seen.
     
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  39. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida Gators

    I’ve been doxxed!
     
  40. Bricktop the white

    Bricktop the white Well-Known Member

    You must not have a linkedin then.
     
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  41. Sammy Meatballs

    Sammy Meatballs DeBoer on the Floor
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideArsenal

    giant checks and money guns absolutely kill me

    especially when it’s for an 8k comp settlement
     
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  42. Sammy Meatballs

    Sammy Meatballs DeBoer on the Floor
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideArsenal

    And they make me cringe when it’s for a serious case.
     
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  43. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    just had my client no show an in-person depo at my office. fun times
     
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  44. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    Nothing worse than a long ass email from another lawyer responding to my settlement offer explaining it on the merits. Dude, just send me a fucking number back. Or, if there’s something you haven’t given me that increases value, send that to me as well.
     
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  45. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida Gators

    What if in lieu of a counter offer he just sends back a picture of the long dick of the law?
     
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  46. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
    Donor
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    I'd love an update on the PENCIL DICK guy who undoubtedly got disbarred
     
    wes tegg likes this.
  47. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    Also, this counter exceeds the policy limits. He went from “limits” to a breakdown $2,500 over limits. Clearly a math error, but come on.
     
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  48. (Z)

    (Z) Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideBoston Red Sox

    Lawyer in my part of the woods (who wes tegg knows well), has a room in his office wallpapered with copies of settlement checks. :facepalm:
     
  49. BUstang

    BUstang Lawyer

    My favorite version of this happened a few years ago during a mediation opening involving a wrongful death case. We repped some of the beneficiaries, a different law firm repped some others. We had a very brief and bland joint opening. The other law firm had a 15 minute powerpoint with gruesome photos and the whole dog and pony show. At the end he had a single slide with their opening demand. I don't recall the number number now but it was about 3x the gross negligence cap. The defense lawyer and I looked at each other simultaneously with a "what the fuck is that" look at one another.

    My case got settled the others did not.
     
  50. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
    Donor

    "Tegg when you are done felating your copy boy tell Allstate the demand is now 305 million."
     
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