How many times do you get up to pee at night?

I'm 38 and already sputtering on occasion.

Also at anyone standing to piss in the middle of the effing night.

 

I wonder if there's a person out there who breaks into someone's house when everyone is gone and pisses on little kids bed bc they think it's funny.

Mom: It's OK honey. You can tell us if you wet the bed.

Kid: I didn't mom, I swear

Mom:

 

I typically pee before I get in the bed. Rarely, if ever in the middle of the night.

I also sit down to pee during the daytime. It gets me off my tootsies for a few minutes while I browse the internet. I also prefer to sit because if I let a toot out while stand peeing, it could become a surprise poo. So I kill two birds with one stone.

 

Two birds with one toot imo

 

I pooped last night but I didn’t post about it due to the shit shamers itt

 

You just shit and go back to sleep? I feel like between pooping and wiping the mental effort would leave me awake for too long. Don't think I've ever really shit through the night unless it was illness related.

 

I wet my bed until I was like 10 or 11 so if I have to get up at night to pee I'm pretty proud of it.

 

Yeah brah all the time.

 

I mean, I don’t see the issue. I go to bed at 8:30. I wake up a few nights a week and shit my brains out at 3 am. If I don’t shot in the middle of the night I shit when I wake up. I’d be more worried if I were waking up a few times a night to piss

 

Climbing your shitty ass back in the bed that is nasty

 

I rinse off in the jacuzzi

 

No you don’t. You give it a one wipe “I feel like I’m clean in my own mind” swipe and crawl ten toes back into your fart sack

 

Real talk
I once had what is called an anal fistula that was inflamed
Went to the doc in a box who gave me a donut to sit on with some prescription

Woke up the day i was supposed to drive 4 hours to a week long work class thing in a pool of my own blood and shit

I knew my wife really does love me when she started helping clean me up without me ever having to get out of bed












I may have shared too much

 

Anybody else team baby wipes? They do such a better job than just regular shit tickets. Leaves my brown-eye smelling like eucalyptus too

 

I view people who don’t use baby wipes as some sort of Neanderthal. Not all of us have buttholes beat in like an old catcher’s mitt.

 

of course. I’m no savage

Wish I had a bidet but the plumbing in my building around the toilet is nearly covered so attaching one is impossible

 

i pissed in my younger brothers toy box one night when I was home from college after getting black out drunk at a golf tournament. Prob could’ve gotten away with it if I had pissed in his bed

 

It's weird because me, personally, have never had a night shit that wasn't virus related. I crap in the morning. Like a human.

 

I'm on beer 5, so I can only assume I'll be a 1 in the morning.

 

3 am is in the morning you weirdo

 

Should change name to "bigredass77"

 

In Romania

 

You people using baby wipes better be throwing that shit in the trash instead of ruining your septic/sewer system

 

I use the flushable ones

 

No such thing

 

I don’t have a septic tank. We live in a large apartment complex in the middle of Houston. I use the flushable ones with zero fucks given.

 

0 again. Kinda hungover.

More updates as events warrant.

 

there are no flushable ones.

but if that's what you want to do, I'm not going to sit here and have a long back and forth with you.

 

Already pissed 3x at work this am

 

Fuck this earth, it only needs to be around another 30 to 40 years topa before I make my exit!

 

They say flushable on the package. Who am I to argue?

 

"It says part of a nutritious breakfast on the Apple Jacks commercial. Who I am to argue?"

 

"Flushable" merely implies "capable of being flushed".

 

Good enough for me. Out of sight, out of mind.