If Dr. Pimple Popper had a Nature is Scary edition.. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CywW1q8OBoo/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Didn’t realize until the end that it was coming out of his lip. Holy shit. I’m still scarred from seeing videos of Guinea worm removals at the CDC museum on Monday.
These are all over my feed so I must share Feel like someone is setting up these scenes with the goats
Mixed up bees with bears with the stay still strategy. Definitely the worst thing to do in that situation.
That monkey was telling him to gtfo of there. Definitely a better chance he shit his pants than he didn’t lol.
Average Height (Shoulder): 5 feet / 160cm Average Height (Standing): 10 feet Average Weight: 1750lbs (the weight of ten average men) Note: Polar bears can grow much, much larger than this. Notable Features: Polar bears are the largest land predator on the planet. They have no natural predators. They are one of the only animals to view humans as prey. Sport a bite force of 1,200 PSI. Almost as much as your mom exerts on a chair when she sits. Claws as long as dinner knives, and the teeth are pretty big too. In 2019, one was clocked at 56kmph running down a road in Churchill, Canada. You won’t outrun it. You won’t wear them down either. They can swim continuously for up to 9 days. Their endurance is incredible. Their fur is very thick, adapted to insulate heat in the arctic ocean and terrestrial climate. It provides almost a suit of armor. It’s equivalent of punching a very fat man and your fist bouncing off his lard. Their eyes have evolved to negate the effects of snowblindness, almost like a pair of sunglasses. They can see perfectly in an all-white environment. You can’t. They possess an incredible sense of smell. You won’t be able to hide from them when they can smell a seal through a sheet of ice. Polar bears are apex predators capable of dominating all organisms in its ecosystem. What hope does the average man have against such a foe? Not much. There is a saying regarding what to do if an average man is confronted by types of bears. It goes like this; If its black, fight back, since you can actually fend these ones off most of the time. They are more skiddish than their cousins and will flee if they aren’t sure they will win. If its brown, lay down, because you can’t beat it in a fight and they might leave you alone if you play dead. If its white, say goodnight, ‘nuff said. This paints a grim reality. There is little a human can do to drive off a polar bear, and even less to hurt it. The beast would shrug off blows from the strongest of men as if they came from a child, and a strike of a paw would shred that same man to pieces. A man sports no chance of shooing one off with a yell either, as if it was a black bear. Polar bears require lots of food to survive, and in a habitat devoid of nutrients as the arctic, man is no exception. They will not pass up the opportunity. So let’s recap. You can’t outrun it, they are far faster and have much better endurance. You can’t7 hide from them, their sense of sight, hearing and smell will find you in their domain. Its a matter of when, not if. You won’t be able to disengage once the fight begins. You can’t really fight them head to head either. Their fur and fat is thick enough to dampen a strike to the point it won’t do any real damage. They are also too strong, and getting hit may be fatal. They are bigger, faster, stronger and better equipped. They will be able to attack you when you aren’t prepared. In this fight, a polar bear will have the upper hand over you at all times in nearly every way. Talk about David and Goliath. Given this knowledge, how would you defeat a polar bear? Do you say goodnight, do you give up the fight for your life against an impossible foe? What else is there to do except throw in the towel? Do you just accept it’s pointless to resist? Hell no. I have my own saying. If it’s white, stand and fight. Now. This is entirely speculation. None of this is proven knowledge or strategy, but if you’re fighting a polar bear, you might as well take this as fact since you don’t stand a chance anyway and you might as well do me a favor and see if this works. Who knows? I might get an article in National Geographic for my brilliance. Anyway. Fight time. So, you’re walking down an icy road in Anchorage and stoop to tie your shoe when you notice one bearing down on you. You won’t make the run back to your car before its on you, and you left your anti-bear shotgun in the car. It’s around 100 yards off and closing fast. What do you do? Observe the situation you face. This time, its a smaller one, around three and a half feet at the shoulder. This is good, at least as good as what you’re gonna get. Be thankful for what you got and make do. Don’t bother running. You’ll have to face it so get ready. When polar bears attack humans, they sometimes rear upon their hind legs to push you over to make it easier to dismember you. Lets assume this one will. The bear’s right in front of you now. It’ll look something like this. When standing, their head is positioned very far up due to how long their neck is. And, conveniently, they can’t tip their head much further down than what’s shown here. Let’s use this to our advantage. As it rears up, immediately lunge forward into its chest and grab its armpits, tucking your head beneath its jaw (No, you aren’t going to push it back over). Their heads are very long so it can’t turn its head down to bite you as long as you stay right pressed against it. This vulnerability has been observed when a moose’s antlers have prevented a bear from turning its head down to bite it. Since you lean up against it, it also won’t be able to shove you away since their arms don’t bend inwards like that, so it’s rather unable to move you beyond with its weight. Whatever you do, don’t let it get ahold of you. The bear will (hopefully) be taken aback, after all, seals don’t usually do this. While it’s unsure what to do, uppercut it as hard as you can in the front of the snout, ideally the nose if you can manage it. The nose is one of the few areas humans can inflict pain through since there’s no hair or fat protecting the nerves. You might startle it and cause it to back away, but the fight’s not over, don’t give it any room to breathe. Continue to violate the bear’s personal space and beat its nose with everything you have until it turns tail. Easy dub. Now, the worst case scenario. A very large polar bear. A very hungry polar bear. And a very delicious looking human wondering what to do. Getting close won’t work this time, it’s too tall to trap its head above yours. It’s also too tall to hit in the nose if its on its hind legs. Kicking it in the groin won’t work either, its fur is too thick. Since its big we can assume its older, and its also going to be a fair bit smarter than the younger one earlier. You won’t drive it off. It’s a fight to the end. Only one of you is walking out alive. The bear spots you at 100 yards away and charges. There’s going to be no vaulting over it, its too fast. Let’s talk about you. Best possible case scenario: You are a tall and muscular adult. You have a white parka, white hat, snowpants and gloves. An outside observer may say you appear somewhat like a bear yourself. So, what’s the plan coach? What we want to do here is put the bear in a situation where it won’t be able to express all of its advantages over you; Speed, strength, height, endurance, better weaponry, etc. Time to squeeze water from stone. Stand up as tall as you can and bellow, LOUD. Begin to walk towards it, arms slightly raised and to the side. Roar, chuff and make yourself sound like a polar bear as much as you can, it’s your only hope at this point. 50 yards. Keep bellowing. Begin to pick up the pace, but continue to walk. bare your teeth, smack your chops, convince it you are a bear. It’s closing in, picking up speed. 10 yards. The bear is close enough to clearly make out its target, the source of the noise. But this is no seal, no Walrus, no Musk Ox nor human. No. This is a rival. Polar bears are extremely territorial. And you, a large human dressed entirely in white, look like a young polar bear, newly separated from its mother to stake out its own hunting grounds, encroaching on its turf, challenging it for its land. Resources are scarce in these lands and disputes aren’t uncommon between bears. 5 yards. It rears up, ready to fight you as if you were another bear. Polar bears are cannibals and will kill cubs if given the chance. If this were the case, in a fair fight, you’d lose without a doubt. But life isn’t fair, and the bear bit off more than it can swallow. Its on its hind legs now. Its speed advantage is negated. That's one down. Since you already began to pick up speed, you have forward momentum. And although the bear is huge, there is a rather large gap between his legs when standing, perfect to slide under and he isn’t expecting it. Do it. He’s too tall to swat you down there when standing, but don't linger. Scramble up, behind the bear. Polar bears can traverse just fine on their hind legs, but their height and mass means they have a rather high center of gravity. (No, we aren’t going to tip it over, its too heavy, stop asking). But, it means the bear cannot spin around as quickly on its rear legs. So you have a couple seconds before it swings the business end towards you again. Take advantage of the situation; what can you do to cripple the bear from back here? The best course of action is to drive your size 13 steel-toed spiked hiking boots into the back of its knee. This is one of the areas where the layers of fur, fat and muscle will be thinnest, and, if you put enough effort into it, will send the bastard to the ice. It doesn't have the height advantage while it’s sitting on its ass. That’s another advantage down. No matter how tall the bear was before, you can reach his nose. If you can before it gets up, run over to the head and stomp on the nose with all your might. Punch it in the eye, another of the few weak spots the beast has. Don’t show mercy, the bear sure as hell won’t. Now, this is only going to piss it off. But we don’t care. This is a fight to the death and we get hits in where we can. It’s going to get back up, but we have learned a valuable lesson in these few seconds. Polar bears, mighty as they may be, are not invincible, and they are poorly adapted to attacks from behind. After all, evolution thought nothing would get past the business end. Stomp on one of its front paws with your spiked boots. That’s one less thing to worry about it killing you with, another down. This has the added benefit of forcing it to walk on two paws to be able to fight you. If it walks on three, it only has the head, and you can kick it in the face as many times as you’d like. Thus, it can’t chase you down. I don’t care how fast the bear was before, no bear can outrun a man on two legs, but why run now? You’ve come this far. Might as well stick around and see what happens. The bear didn’t take you seriously and paid the price. The destroyed paw would probably kill it in the long run from starvation, but then you don’t get credit. Finish the fight here and now. Its struggling to its hind feet, swiping at you with its good paw. Bob and weave. Don’t let it get ahold of you, try to work around behind it again. Bob and weave. Don’t let it hit you. Bob and wea- C R A C K The bear connects with your midsection, sending you 20 feet back before you hit the ice. Your jacket is torn to shreds and blood is spilling on the ice. Your organs haven’t been cleaved from your body, but regardless you’re bleeding out. Oh bother. Get up now or become dinner. Ignore the pain, it’s only temporary but death is forever. Come on, get up, get u- The bear is on you. It’s mauling you, biting your arm with more force than you thought possible, the worst agony you’ve ever felt. You try to punch it in the nose, but it bites your hand, breaking nearly every bone in it. It’s unresponsive now. You doubt there are any fingers left to move anyway. Now, you might think that a <2,000lbs polar bear pinning you to the ice as you bleed out would signify an appropriate time to say goodnight. Maybe it is. It wasn’t an ideal death, you didn’t get to say your goodbyes to your loved ones and the carrion will pick away your remains so nobody finds you, but you held your own against evolution’s perfect killing machine. You went out with a bang. Close your eyes, soldier. You made us proud… … Ah. You left the stove on. Better wrap this up fast, don’t want that burning down your house. Ignore the light, come back to the land of the living and finish this. Polar bears will bite off their prey’s jaws when the pin them so they don’t face any threat as they dismember you. This wouldn’t leave a very nice looking corpse, so tuck your mouth under your arms because ripping off a large part of your skull will kill you. The bear will try to pry your head out. Don’t let it. It might bite off your hand, but you never needed that anyway, its already mangled, so it can waste its time. It will bite the top of your scalp, rake your torso, but don’t let it at your jaw whatever you do. Also don’t try to headbutt its nose, at this stage that will just put your head into its mouth for it. Speaking of which… Your hand, stumpy, broken and bloodied, is still useful. Larger animals, especially bears, have a poor gag reflex, so exploit this and shove your hand down the bears throat. The bear will be unable to spit it out. The threat the mouth poses is gone, and its paws are pinning you down. It has nothing left to kill you with, for now. Use this window. Now, your jaw, assuming you’ve done as I told and kept it attached to your body, needs to bite the bear in the Jugular with whatever you’ve got left, just as Dale Peterson did to kill the Rocky Mountain Grizzly. The bear won’t be able to spit out your stump and can’t stop you from biting its throat. The human record for strongest bite is 900 PSI, so it’ll get the job done. The bear will pass out, unable to breathe, and entirely at your mercy. Pull off your spiked boot and crush its throat. It’ll bleed out soon enough. Go turn off the stove. Easy dub. Now. This is not and should not be taken as professional advice, but considering there are no professional bear fighting researchers and tacticians, I’d say it’s the best you’ll come by. This is a proposed solution to an impossible challenge, a nightmare scenario where any mistake will take your life, and that nobody wants to give a legitimate answer to, as if there is one to begin with. But do whatever you think works, then make your own damn post about it if you live to tell the tale.
That write-up aboput fighting a polar bear is really dumb. Any real expert will tell you to suck its dick.
Right. Just pointing out that orcas aren’t exactly adapting (at least the ones I’m familiar with, meaning BC, WA, OR aka southern resident). It was a comment made in jest by the person I quoted. Just wanted to make sure that people are aware that a lot of orcas aren’t actually okay.
Giant hammerhead. Rare one estimated to be close to 20-feet long. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CzhEhfxiKGB/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
The “shame on you for not stepping in” comments make me even more disappointed in the average intelligence of most humans.
I can never stomach to read the comments. I'm a huge hippie that hates seeing anything suffer, but seeing a natural predator-prey relationship has never bothered me. It's usually when humans are involved that I want to look away.
My buddy's yard in Wyoming Last winter was pretty rough and killed off more animals than usual. Some hunters in Wyoming passed on hunting this season to help the populations bounce back