The addiction thread: A safe place for questions or advice or really anything

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by fattus, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    I can only imagine. My thing is that 12-step and AA seems religiously driven. I'm staunchly opposed to the Jesus aspect. Is there a similarly successful alternative. I can dig spiritualism and higher powers, but Jesus is no go
     
  2. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    UCLA BruinsDenver BroncosLos Angeles KingsSneakers

    the meetings and groups I attended appeared to focus more on spirituality than religion. It stressed acknowledging that there was something greater than you. Call it god call it a higher spirit I don’t remember them pushing it having to be a Christian god.
     
    fattus likes this.
  3. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    Thx. I've tried it before and it was oppressive distasteful. I'm not powerless or weak. I do say fuck it because I'm weak and hedonistic
     
  4. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Colorado RockiesDenver NuggetsDallas CowboysColorado AvalanceBoise State Broncos

    Montclaire de Haviland

    When I first started going to AA I hated it. I was raised with such an ingrained belief that God = religion that it was hard for me to see AA as anything but a religious cult. I always believed there was a power greater than myself, which I will refer to as God because that is how I choose to. Anyone can refer to it how they wish. I didn’t like God and I definitely didn’t think God cared for me in the slightest. My problem was my conception of God wasn’t my conception at all. I was believing that God was what everyone else told me it was. I was believing that God was what religion dictated. It took me a really long time to start believing in and trusting my God. For a while I didn’t even have God as a higher power that could restore me to sanity. My higher power was the fellowship of AA. The group conscious was my higher power. Surely a group of alcoholics like me who could stay sober were greater than just me. And they are. Over time I began to trust my God and together with those people in the group that I trust they are things I lean on when I need it.

    AA is not religious. There are people in AA who are. If you go to a meeting that is dominated by Bible thumpers you’re in the wrong meeting. Go to some different ones until you find a group you can relate with.

    As for powerlessness over alcohol, that is something only you can decide. No one can tell you what you are or how you feel. If you want to control your drinking and can do so, our hats are off to you.

    AA is a group oriented entity. Each group is autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole. The experience varies a lot from group to group. My suggestion is to try some other groups with these three things:

    1. Willingness to try something new.
    2. Honesty with yourself.
    3. Open-mindedness.

    These three things are essential.

    Please do not hesitate to ask me anything. I can only promise you three things: I will always be honest, I will never tell you what you are or how you feel, and I will never tell you that you have to do anything (but I will make suggestions).
     
  5. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    Fuck, man. Thanks. That's was powerful and I appreciate you taking the time. I hate this about me and didn't think it would ever come to this. I used to denigrate people in this situation like it couldn't have ever become me. I watched it as a kid and said never. Here I am
     
    fattus and IHHH like this.
  6. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    My thing going into it is a distrust if people. I think people in general are kind of slimy. I worry about trusting being vulnerable.

    Sounds like bullshit, but sincerely. I don't know how to decipher who's sincere
     
  7. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    UCLA BruinsDenver BroncosLos Angeles KingsSneakers

    if you need help go to some meetings at different places at different times. Find something that clicks with you. You’re acknowledging that you need help and that’s honestly that’s a huge first step. Now don’t let your pride/mind/stubbornness (whatever you want to call it) put unnecessary obstacles in the way of getting help.
     
    devine likes this.
  8. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    Fair. I know it and have. It's not stubbornness, it's weakness
     
  9. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    I've got a lot of fuck it to me I've tried like hell, then fuck it.
     
  10. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
    Donor
    Oregon DucksPortland Trail BlazersSan Francisco 49'ersManchester UnitedPortland Timbers

    check out smart recovery.
     
  11. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Colorado RockiesDenver NuggetsDallas CowboysColorado AvalanceBoise State Broncos

    I hear that. It’s insanely difficult for me to be vulnerable and to trust people. I just basically said fuck it, nothing else is working out for me. I’ll just give it a shot trusting someone. I didn’t end up trusting very many people. But I have found a few that I trust 100%. And, honestly, it’s made all the difference.
     
    The Blackfish, Henry Blake and devine like this.
  12. Tommy Callahan

    Tommy Callahan Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta Braves

    My mom is one of three girls. The oldest has always been wild as can be. Burned down an apartment in college. Took 5+ years to graduate Alabama. Married once then quickly divorced. Married again and was married for 25 years but ended up leaving him. Went to rehab in spring of 2010 and actually has done pretty well in terms of staying sober. But as weird is this sounds it was better when she was drinking. Has one of the worst spending problems ever imagined and comes out of it with just shit. Blown through trust fund and got a house foreclosed on when the middle husband was clearing several hundred a year

    Couple weeks ago went to treatment to try and help her get through the spending/insecurity/whatever other issues she has. Went awol yesterday and blamed it on Covid. It really grinds at my mom and she tries to be the fixer, especially with their parents gone.

    Know this is rambling but it feels good to get it out there. Quite a frustrating situation and has been for at least a decade
     
  13. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
    Donor
    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    I was pretty bad during COVID when all my locations had to close and didn't have anything I could really be working on. I was probably going through a magnum of vodka every two-three days.

    Taking the cross country trip and starting to regularly dog sit for friends (whether it was the added responsibility or just general enjoyment) got me back to a normal social drinker.

    Not remotely claiming that's an ideal route for everyone but that's what resulted in me making an adjustment.
     
    goheels10, IHHH, fattus and 1 other person like this.
  14. The Milkman

    The Milkman Send lawyers, guns and money, shit has hit the fan
    Donor

    Sorry to hear that buddy, I have similar issues in my family. This book helped me deal with it better.

    I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help! How to Help Someone Accept Treatment - 20th Anniversary Edition https://a.co/d/34SxzIy
     
  15. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Colorado RockiesDenver NuggetsDallas CowboysColorado AvalanceBoise State Broncos

    Nothing gets you out of your head more than being of service, no matter how insignificant it may seem.
     
    ARCO, Lip, Name P. Redacted and 2 others like this.
  16. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    I don’t think I’m an addict or an alcoholic, but covid has absolutely ratcheted my consumption up probably 2-3 fold. Without the constraints of the office, people, structure, etc, I’m drinking 5-6 nights a week. I’m usually just catching a good buzz with a few hazies (and packing on the pounds because of it). Sometimes I will get into the bourbon too and that’s when stuff gets a little sketchy for my liking.

    I have to eventually stop drinking for my health and my family. I just like beer too much.

    I struggle with it a lot because it doesn’t impact anything (yet) in my daily life, but I know this habit is not good for me.
     
    Lip likes this.
  17. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Colorado RockiesDenver NuggetsDallas CowboysColorado AvalanceBoise State Broncos

    Not all heavy drinkers are alcoholics. If you decide to quit or control it, go for it. If that works, great! If not, there are resources available.
     
    Daddy Rabbit, Lip and jbr like this.