The Northman

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Emma, Dec 20, 2021.

  1. Doyle McPoyle

    Doyle McPoyle Well-Known Member
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    51
     
  2. CUtigers

    CUtigers Well-Known Member
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    What an intense movie. I liked it quite a bit, and cant wait to see it again. There were only 4 other people in my showing. Just barely beats out the last movie I saw in theaters, which had 3 others (Green Knight).
     
  3. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops If you’re juiceless, you’re useless
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    But does he, or does he not, hang dong?
     
  4. Nelson

    Nelson Can somebody please get Ja Rule on the phone
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    Movie absolutely bangs
     
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  5. Professor Moriarty

    Professor Moriarty Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
  6. Roy

    Roy Well-Known Member
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    In the scene where he’s pillow talking with ATJ and they are both naked I had to bite down on the straw to my Mountain Dew to resist yelling out SHOW US HIS DIIIIIICK
     
    #56 Roy, Apr 23, 2022
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2022
  7. CUtigers

    CUtigers Well-Known Member
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    Sadly, Odin's ravens wouldn't get out of the way
     
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  8. Fast Eddie

    Fast Eddie DA HEAD HONCHO AKA TOMMIE PICKLES
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    I went to the film last night at 7:50pm est took 45mgs of adderall and still have a boner about some of the fucking shots and imagery I saw throughout !!!
     
  9. Fast Eddie

    Fast Eddie DA HEAD HONCHO AKA TOMMIE PICKLES
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    this is the exact right number based on the criteria
     
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  10. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops If you’re juiceless, you’re useless
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    [​IMG]
     
  11. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    One of my friends is filming a series right now and had to get fitted for a prosthetic dong because apparently you can hang real dong but you can't have erect real dong under the current legislation.
     
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  12. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops If you’re juiceless, you’re useless
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    Thanks Obama Trump Joe

    you can only hang dong, not tent pole dong
     
  13. TrustyPatches

    TrustyPatches I apologize if this message gets you down
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    Not being allowed to hang dong isn’t mint
     
  14. paulski

    paulski Well-Known Member

    It's a well made film but never really rises to any great heights IMO. Alex and Anya are top class which is no surprise whatsoever to me, as is the guy that plays Uncle Fjolnir. And it was beautifully filmed from start to finish... but there was something missing and I can't quite put my finger on it. It was all just a bit... basic? :idk:
     
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  15. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
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    Pretty sure it’s been like that for a long time. Dick can be seen flaccid bc it’s just human, but a boner implies eXplicit content.
     
  16. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Yea I don't think it's anything new.
     
  17. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
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    The weirder one to me is vagina. You can show bush to imply vagina but you can’t show actual labias.
     
  18. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin He ain’t me, he can’t be me
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    Probably because it was just Lion King with humans.
     
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  19. Sean Connery

    Sean Connery I'll take Whore Ads for $200
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    I’ve been calling it Viking Braveheart on LSD, but Viking Lion King on LSD also works
     
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  20. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin He ain’t me, he can’t be me
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    I enjoyed it, but the plot/story is probably it’s weakness
     
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  21. Quailman

    Quailman how playa is that, mayne?
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    Thought this movie kicked ass. Looked amazing, and stayed true to Viking lore/history from my limited understanding of it
     
  22. I mean it is based on an old scandanavian revenge tale written in the 12th century which shakespeare made into hamlet and the groomers at disney made into the lion king. I dont think stories from the 1100s were going to be too complicated
     
  23. paulski

    paulski Well-Known Member

    Definitely. It was a fun ride, but I kept waiting for it to go to the next level and it never really got there.
     
    Det. Frank Bullitt and Emma like this.
  24. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    A friends wife posted her “review” of the movie on Facebook. Long post short, it was just too much “mystical” stuff for Jesus loving people like themselves. Yeah, because there’s nothing outlandish about the stories in the Bible.
     
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  25. Emma

    Emma Words
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    Shoot. Sucks to hear this.
     
  26. paulski

    paulski Well-Known Member

    Look, probably best not to take my word for it - definitely see it yourself and make your own mind up. I got my hopes up from the slick trailer and a VERY positive review on Bleeding Cool (I really should know better by now) and went in with way too high expectations. It's a solid movie with good performances, but like Arrec said, the storyline's a little thin.
     
    Emma likes this.
  27. Det. Frank Bullitt

    Det. Frank Bullitt God Bless Texas
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    like he said, great ride - but it never blew me away, which I kind of was expecting.

    Great stylized action flick.
     
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  28. CMoney128

    CMoney128 Well-Known Member
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    Pretty much exactly how I felt. Was surprised when it was done that I wanted a film with

    a blind Bjork wearing feathers and the main character communicating in barks half the time

    to be...weirder? The story itself was pretty straightforward as others have said, which still slapped cuz the action and the mythology elements that they did put in were great, but would've been even better for me if they'd leaned harder into the latter
     
    paulski likes this.
  29. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops If you’re juiceless, you’re useless
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    Thanks, went to see it and had to say this to my wife about 9 times throughout the movie. It killed every time
     
    Roy likes this.
  30. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops If you’re juiceless, you’re useless
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    Wait did you miss the post credit seen where Godric shows up and makes him a vampire and then him and Pam open up fangtasia is Shreveport?
     
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  31. Emma

    Emma Words
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    Loved it. I'm also heavy into mythology, specifically Greek and Norse.
     
    #81 Emma, May 3, 2022
    Last edited: May 3, 2022
  32. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    I do think some Christians take on a sort of mystic exceptionalism's because only one book should have supernatural elements
     
    BayouMafia likes this.
  33. Fuzzy Zoeller

    Fuzzy Zoeller College football > NFL

    Saw it last night. Agree with the consensus ITT. One plot/mythology question.

    Was that Anya Taylor-Joy's real bush or a merkin?
     
  34. TC

    TC Ten Club
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    Does Efron hang dong in this?
     
  35. afb

    afb Spoiler Alert: Pawnee, IN may not be on a map.
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    This movie fucks
     
  36. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    At the rate of 1/4th of the movie per night before my wife falls asleep we’ll finish tomorrow night.
     
  37. Pelican

    Pelican COOL huh
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    How are you watching it? Plex or what?
     
  38. Tarpon Nole

    Tarpon Nole Well-Known Member
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    It’s on Amazon for $20

    going to just wait till my buddy adds to plex
     
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  39. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    Yeah its out there in the torrencesphere
     
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  40. Pelican

    Pelican COOL huh
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    Just finished. Thought it was awesome.
     
  41. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    Yeah, the people saying they were waiting for something else to push it up another level are trippin.
     
  42. i am a bammer

    i am a bammer Ben Eblen>Jamychal Green
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    I thought it was pretty good. I didn't really read much about it going in so I thought it would be more of a blockbuster with a lot of mythology since it's an Eggers movie. Didn't know the Amleth myth was the inspiration for Hamlet until after the fact. Knowing that made some of the decisions make more sense. The CG Valhal tree and the Valkyrie was a bit much. The middle dragged a bit. The action, acting, and all of the rituals and traditions shown were amazing. Really a great movie to see in a theater.

    I loved the lighthouse. Will definitely watch Witch now.