But he automatically is treating these girls like they want to fuck him. You can talk to girls without flirting with them, and not all teenage girls want to fuck older men.
Guy I grew up with was a teacher and got busted a few years back texting a female student. Nothing explicit but offering to take her shopping, hang out, just stupid shit. Got fired obviously but nothing legal as apparently the flirting texts were the extent of it. Married and had a couple of kids but no clue what happened with that. It's a small town so I imagine she bounced with them.
No doubt. I think he's past that phase, but that was his strategy as a young guy. I'm just saying I can't blame him for just distancing himself while he was so close in age to those girls.
Told this story before but my gf told me how when she was in hs that it was pretty common knowledge that some of the coaches fucked students. One gave a girl herpes and another left his wife for a cheerleader and knocked her up right after she graduated and got married.
girl i went to high school with fucked the 70 year old golf coach. we all suspected it was happening. she confirmed at the 10 year reunion.
A girl from our high school started stripping when she turned 18 and was still in school. She said some teachers/coaches would come in specifically to watch her. I'd say that's somewhat of a gray area.
Im going to go out on a limb and say that a 17 year old willing fucking his teacher probably had his innocence lost a long time ago.
Its the "still in school" part that gets me. I think it shows a real lack of character and empathy on the coaches/teachers end.
eeeh gonna take the side of Merica 's friend in that one "treated them like lepers"/barely even talk to them... doesn't really sound like he's "treating them like they want to fuck him" He's not their coach, classmate or friend. he's not "supposed to" talk to them and I doubt the guy ignored them or told them to go away and shit if they said hey to him. And I think your 2nd sentence is wrong for the most part... if the guy is attractive. If a good looking 25 year old dude talks to a 16-18 year old high school girl she's probably gonna see it in a flirtatious way even if it's completely innocent and the guy meant absolutely nothing by it. That's just a high school girl for you. Flirting in highschool was just talking to the female. Add in the guy being older, and if he was - add in being older and attractive, and yea there's at least a decent chance that a girl that age at least thinks about some kind of relationship there. softball coach would be different though. because of the lesbian factor. but if i were in that 25 year old's shoes I'd probably have acted the same way. minimal interaction unless necessary. may be immature but it's safe, there's no gray area, and I've got a job and not in jail or on a sexual predator list
No, I get it. Im older, so I have a different view. At 25 I may have taken the same route. But this a little discouraging too see this behavior. Treating all girls like they want to flirt/fuck/or make up lies about a sexual assault is a little crazy, and unfair.
I've said this for a while in other threads, but as long as we view girls as prey and guys as the predator (meaning a 17 y/o guy fucking his teacher = predator does what predator's intended to do, 17 y/o girl fucking her teacher = poor girl was the victim of a predator) then we'll never have true equality between the sexes. I don't really know how to say that in a way that doesn't come off as creepy. The physical act of sex just plays such a pivotal role in gender equality and giving girls the exclusive role as gatekeeper has a million different negative side effects, including the rape culture issue on college campuses.
It didn't help that literally all four girls soccer coaches before him had gotten fired for fucking around with a student.
I have kids. a boy and a girl. I have no desire to ever work/coach/teach with minor children of any age.
The boys varsity soccer coach at my high school was DEFINITELY fucking one of the girls in my class and didn't even try that hard to cover it up. Ironically, one of the creepiest dudes in my class, who was always toeing the line as to whether or not he was developmentally challenged, is somehow now the varsity girls soccer coach. He was that guy that would send unsolicited text messages and fb messages to girls three grades below us, but was a good athlete so nobody really called him on it. I don't keep up with too many people from school, but I've seen several at bars/restaurants they'll show me where he still sends them random, extremely creepy text messages trying to hang out, despite being almost ten years removed from school. Now I look on his facebook and there are a bunch of pictures with young teenage girls..
Seriously though, it should be all about keeping yourself above reproach. I can't really think of any situation where it would be necessary to be "friends" with an underage member of the opposite sex on any form of social media or even have their number in my phone. If you are an educator, fine. Educate them and be friendly, you don't have to be friends to do that. A text conversation that never happened can never be taken out of context by anyone.
I probably went a little far with the "leper" comment. I'm just saying he kept his distance because he didn't want there to be any sort of thing that could be misconstrued. He was a funny guy and the line between flirting / joking can become blurred by someone watching, especially with the knowledge that the coaches before him had been fired for messing with students.
Yeeeaaaa but at the same time, especially this day and age and with us all having been though the mid-20s male mentality.... go in the dad's thread and ask how many of those posters would want their 17 year old daughter "playing friends" with their attractive 25 year old male soccer coach. I really don't see how you can view it as discouraging. Most parents would probably be like thank god our daughter is seeking friendship/advice/a role model type rigure with her female soccer coach instead. maybe I'm just hungup on the fact that there's no legitimate reason for the boys team's 25yo male coach being friendly with 16-18 year old female students that he does not coach, teach, etc. Doesn't really matter if that guy thinks in his head that he's avoiding that situation because they all want to fuck him or because he simply doesn't have a reason to do that... he's either being narcissistic or just being realistic. there's not a reason for him to be friendly with those girls in that situation. not discouraging at all. those girls have plenty of other places to go at that school for any platonic needs they may have
Same deal at my HS, but our mens soccer coach fucked the girls soccer team "manager". It got out around the students, but he left the following year. So I don't think anyone gave a shit. We also had a football coach fuck a student. It got out and he was gone. There was no real proof so nothing happened. My point is this, back in the day when there wasn't sexting and whatnot, it was ok to get away with it.
Good friend of mine got his degree in ESS planning on becoming a HS football coach. When he did his student teaching at a local HS he decided he cant go down that route. Said the girls were just too flirty and openly suggestive to him, felt there was no way he could resist that day in and day out for a long career. So he became a workout trainer for elderly people.
Gets blurred by people participating as well. I remember in highschool girls talking about coaches... hell we had football coaches that were in their late 30s/early 40s that were married with kids and were borderline evangelical crazies that would have never even considered flirting with female students. but they were nice and friendly guys when not coaching... and girls in our grade would talk about it with one another. and that shit goes from some girl talking about joking with one of the coaches to "elizabeth was totally flirting with coach johnson during his study hall today" like... if someone else in the teaching staff over heard that it just sets up for all kinds of fucking problems. A lot of girls talked about "flirting" with this coach. even though we knew damn well the guy would fuck a bible before he touched a female student. it's still a bad look
10 years, huh. I'm sure he'll wait for her Spoiler on second thought... i guess id keep her in the ole phone book.
Similar story to when I was in hs. A girl in the grade above me was dating one of our assistant football coaches. It was pretty common knowledge. They would eat lunch together in his classroom which I always found weird. He was mid-40's too. Little short red haired fucker. They got married 2 years after she graduated.
I'm not sure it's possible for me to disagree more with this entire post, but the part at the end is legitimately insane.
Friend coaches football and the JV coach who was 25 married a girl one week after graduation then had a kid like nine months later on the dot. No one seemingly batted an eye.
My thoughts on these situations have been well documented. I don't think teachers should fuck students. I don't think adult should fuck kids. Not sure why that's controversial. This example is less disturbing than others because the age difference isn't as big as others and the kid isnt as young as other times this happens. At the very least she should lose her job and get counseling because this shit isn't normal.
Ever seen Stranger Things? How would they have built a sensory deprivation pool without the nerdy science teachers phone number. I don't know standard protocol these days (ie - is email preferable) but I know that our teachers gave us the option to call them if we had any big problems with ______ project or exam study question while studying/preparing over the weekend. Since landlines are archaic now I'd assume the number they give in this scenario is the cell phone
You don't think there's a problem when you literally look at one person as the gatekeeper while both people are intoxicated? We should look at the guy as the predator who is trying to get the prey to open her legs, while they're in a state where they couldn't legally sign a document? How do you propose to solve this problem? Everyone have their sex documents drawn up at the beginning of the night? If neither side was viewed as the gatekeeper, this issue wouldn't be such a problem. The girl regrets getting caught by a predator. It doesn't look like "she earned some dick last night" to her friends. It looks like she let herself be vulnerable for a moment, which is fucked up because she might have wanted to bang someone just as bad as the guy. But she feels ashamed and embarrassed and crying rape looks like a good solution. (It does happen) Or she really didn't want to have sex, but the guy has been told his whole life he's supposed to try to get some. He's either "successful" that night or he "failed" to get some. So he tries a little too hard that night and he rapes her, and now both of their lives are fucked. That's a horrible type of pressure to put on both sexes and it leads to so many fucking problems it's unbelievable.
Yeah no way I'd give students my phone number. Email address would be fine but we pranked called the shit out of our teachers back in the day (*69 4 lyfe) and that was looking them up in the phone book. No telling what kind of fuckery these shits today could do with a cell phone number.
I've said it before but according to rape culture I raped multiple women and was raped twice in college. That should tell you how confusing all of that is.
read an article a while back about 18 being the magic number for "Adulthood". Nothing special, just narrowed down to the ability to vote. So, if the legal age to vote were 17 then this sexual predator may have been in the clear.
Think it's the teacher-student thing. I know in OK it's like 21 so even if you were a professor and they were legal you'd still get fired, but not arrested.
No. We should look at the person who is attempting to put something inside another person's body, regardless of gender. The problem of rape? I'm not sure I can solve that, but here's my attempt. Don't put something inside another person's body unless you have consent. If you'd like to take the risk that you believe you have consent even though the other person is intoxicated, go ahead, but be prepared for the consequences of said action. Otherwise, don't put something inside the other person's body unless you have consent. I'm not sure what you're advocating here. If "neither side is the gatekeeper" does this mean that an intoxicated person cannot revoke consent? I'm assuming that's not your position, so I'm not sure what that actually means in real world terms. I'm not sure how this changes because of your gatekeeper position. Also, I'm not going to put words in your mouth, so forgive the clunky verbiage, but how does "women being the exclusive gatekeeper" have the negative effect of rape culture on college campuses?
The bolded is so ridiculous. 18 year old girls and boys in college are really going to heed this advice. I'm sure they're going to keep drinking but just tuck their bits away for the foreseeable future. This is basically the drinking equivalent of abstinence only education. Anyone can revoke consent at any time. I'm just saying to stop considering it the girls job to say no and the guys job to keep trying until she either lets him fuck her or until she says no. Saying "yes or no" shouldn't be the girls job and trying until that occurs shouldn't be the guys job. Let me make this easier for you. Who do you consider the gatekeeper in gay relationships? You don't, you just let them be who they want to be. That's how men and women should be interacting when it comes to sex.