A lot of the time it's just implicit fear/skepticism of ethnic food. Like, people don't like going outside their box because it's safe and brown people food is not safe.
i will be attending the family farm thanksgiving. will once again refrain from the hayride to the disappointment of my aunt. then leaving first thing friday to drink alone watching the tiger/phil match before meeting friends for some football that night and the rest of the weekend.
not in this case she wouldn't eat ben and jerrys because a brown person scooped it at least she was smart enough to lie to us about it initially, she came to NYC and we went to Joes shanghai, her husband ate all her food for her because she still ordered (its really just my aunt who is this weird on this issue, the rest are just casual racists)
Does she only eat food she grows and kills herself? Guaranteed there are brown people packaging the food she buys at the grocery store.
We tell her this constantly. Also asking her if she wanders into the kitchen of restaurants to make sure. It's been nearly two decades at this point of trying to figure out the why or even just functionally how this works. She kind of actively tries to not know. The rest the family is more of a "im afraid to go into the ~~!!CITY!!~~~" types who have panic attacks when my parents talk about where they went to dinner
My least favorite amongst the least favorite of my cousins’ Fiancée is staying with me on Saturday. I’ve barely spoken a word to her in my life. The one thing I know was said is that when they were doing their farewells last time, I told her that we are still handshakes not quite yet in the hugging stage. I think she has been or still is a Wiccan whatever the fuck. Gross
How would a person function in this world if they refused to use products that weren't made by white people? Do you wear clothes? Use electronics? Buy literally anything at all basically?
I think we are uncovering a new market for products guaranteed to have only ever been touched by white people
This is what people will point to when they say we don't need better maternal leave policies in this country. Makes it tough for mom's that truly want/need to work.
My mom’s side is your typical ignorant small town rednecks for the most part, but they have surprisingly welcomed my cousin’s black boyfriend with open arms.
My wife went to a movie with her oldest sister this week. The sister proceeded to tell my wife to “make sure you let me know what you are getting my kids for Christmas so I can ask them if they like it or see if you need to find something else.” So proud of my wife, she told her that “your kids will get what we get them and if you want to take the conversation any further you can explain to your kids why we did not get them anything.”
/parentshield This take is heavily dependent on the age of the children and I don't do this with aunts/uncles/anyone but my parents but it's actually sort of important as a parent to know what your kids are getting from whom for several reasons. One is so the kid doesn't get multiple of the same gift. Two is so it's not a gift the parent is planning on giving them "from Santa" if the kid is still Santa aged. Three is so it's something in their sphere of interest so you don't end up either having to take the shit back or have it sit unused in your house like all the other bullshit you accumulate when you have kids. I ask about gifts with both parents especially not because of anything about being spoiled or whatever. Mostly to avoid you as the gift giver taking the time/money/effort to get them something that will either be returned or unused. I would literally prefer my own kids get nothing than to get something they have no interest in at all.
Yeah that is not it in this case. They are spoiled little shits and only want something if it is an iPod/iPad/gaming system.
This whole post is bullshit. You take what people give you and you’re grateful that they cared enough to buy you something and say thank you. Anything else makes you an ungrateful prick.
I would rather my kids not get any gifts at all from anyone besides myself/wife and my parents. If that makes me ungrateful then fine. EDIT: I obviously appreciate the thought, effort, and money involved. Obviously. EDIT EDIT EDIT FWD FWD FWD: Christmas shouldn't be about gifts. It's about spending time with your family. Scrooge.
I think gift coordination is fine and productive. I don't think okaying the gifts with the kids is how people should act Thanks
I’ve taught my kids to be grateful for what they get. If they don’t like or use the gift we will donate it to charity. I’ve never asked someone what they are getting my kids. I am just happy that individual cared enough to buy my kid something. I have had people ask what my kids like/want.
Uh, so do I. They say thank you. They're happy to get gifts. I am happy people are generous and care. We donate a shit ton to charity. I don't ask what people are getting my kids except my parents. I want that coordinated. That's my point. It sounds like you do the same based on your last sentence. As for extended family things, I would rather have no gift giving at all. My kids don't need more stuff and they can be happy spending time with their family. Sorry not sorry.
Honestly I'd rather people not get my kids anything. So much of the holidays seems like really wasteful spending.
I think there's a balance here of telling someone exactly the kind of thing to buy and giving an idea of the kinds of things kids like. Seems dumb to view this as binary.
Here is part of the issue. We have 22 nieces and nephews. They range in age from 1 year to 14 years. We have been happily buying them gifts for birthdays and Christmas the entire time. We have not been lucky enough to have kids of our own. So to just come out and say we want to have approval on what you get our kids out of your hard earned money when we have never even once had to spend a dime on your kids or think about what to get them over the past 14 years during the holidays or birthdays. That just reeks of entitlement and you can fuck right off.
If you guys don’t want your kids getting anything why not just tell them not to get them anything? My issue was with a.tramp said was done and Bo seemingly agreeing with. I don’t ask people what they are giving my kids and “approving” the gift. That imo seems ungrateful.
Because some people are weird about always wanting to give gifts for some reason. We've done our best to attempt to influence certain events to be no gift ordeals. But some people just can't wrap their head around that. You ever have a really generous relative that uses money/gifts to make up for ignoring your family for the rest of the year? That person thinks it's important to give way too much money in gifts. Or people who grew up poor who have money now. They tend to really like to give gifts.
What my issue was the SIL telling the tramps what to buy and if she didn’t want that they had to buy something else. It seemed like Bo was saying that was reasonable. I think that is some bullshit.
My brother is about one more family gathering from getting cut out completely after his "performance" at my wedding. Fortunately we're spending Thanksgiving with my wife's sister.
this is why our ban was instituted, my generation was enormous and my family is 95% poor then my generation barely had any kids so it never got restarted ban organized gift giving - Lyrtch 2020
Lord almighty, I seriously doubt Bo was saying exactly what happened was reasonable. It seemed more like he was cautioning tramp that the conversation tramp's wife had may have not been in such stark terms but rather more of a suggestion as to the kinds of things to buy, and if said conversation did occur in such a manner then that isn't unreasonable. I think we all can agree that outright saying "we need full approval of whatever you buy" is gross.
My point was basically that there are certain instances where discussing gifts can be a good idea. Tone and purpose is obviously extremely important. So is history. Being selfish and entitled is stupid.