Family members around the holidays

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Bo Pelinis, Nov 12, 2015.

  1. seanofthedead86

    seanofthedead86 Well-Known Member
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    Wait, what? Infomercials for plain ole everyday a quarters?
     
  2. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    fuck that
     
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  3. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    Federal Butthole Jammer
     
  4. MtOread

    MtOread chopped and scrooged
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    Catching up on this thread and holy shit this is hysterical to imagine.

     
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  5. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    I'm a fucking idiot.

    Fuck Jacoby Brissett
     
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  6. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
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    We do the cheap toilet paper trick but it's to get unwanted people to leave quicker. #lifehackaroundtheholidays
     
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  7. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
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    The ones who know us, know to open the cabinet above the toilet and reach behind the decoration on the left for the good good that's left in the spare bathroom. Normally we stocked with the goods.
     
  8. Jc6

    Jc6 Space for Rent
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    yeah. they were selling a “commemorative limited edition collectors item” board game-like folding display case with the U.S. map and slots to put the states quarters.

    Informercials are like catnip for old people.
     
  9. Clemson327

    Clemson327 Well-Known Member
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    I have this completely filled somewhere in my house…shit.
     
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  10. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    lol - I can relate. One of the estate sales I had to deal with recently was a scenario where several of the estate holders assumed literally every item was worth millions and it ended up being a net negative for the cost of gas to get them evaluated.
     
  11. Duck Smoker

    Duck Smoker Cheekbones like geometry and eyes like sin.
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    I can't explain how, but none of us got Covid from riding in cars unmasked with him. He parked the vehicle we loaned him in Airport parking with an empty tank, $60 bucks and our presents after quarantining for Xmas. His wife and kid were in Colorado less than 48 hours. Good to see everyone though.
     
  12. skiedfrillet

    skiedfrillet It's not a lie if you believe it.
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    Why are tortoises good pets
     
  13. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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  14. blotter

    blotter Aristocratic Bum
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    Who are these people yall are letting into your homes who you don't want to use good TP/wipes?

    and why not just end the relationship at that point?
     
  15. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Back to Back to Back AAU National Champs
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    I’m flying home from seeing family today so I figured this was as appropriate a place as any to share this, but I walked into the airport bathroom in Houston to a kid that had to be like 13-14 with his pants around his ankles taking a piss in the urinal.

    just an absolute power move by him letting those ass cheeks out.
     
  16. Dr. Mantis Toboggan

    Dr. Mantis Toboggan Well-Known Member
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    Do you have people who don’t know you shitting in your house?
     
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  17. Bo Pelinis

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    Look at the guy who doesn't know about Twober™, the app for use strangers' bathrooms.
     
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  18. Corky Bucek

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    Did you ask him if his name was Butters?
     
  19. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    I would recommend not talking to teens with their pants down in the bathroom
     
  20. Clemson327

    Clemson327 Well-Known Member
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    I’m not going to lie, I initially imagined it as a giant tortoise and was trying to figure out how drunk these people were that couldn’t find it. I’m obviously not well-versed in tortoise species.
     
  21. chet fire

    chet fire Man in Members Only jacket

    Kid threw himself under the bus! Went from "Grampa, thank you for the quarters. I bought something I like," to "Wha?"

    I don't like making fun of old people, especially my parents, but we did have a family bonding session when we got home – picking up magazines from last October, going "Oooh, vintage!"
     
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  22. Corky Bucek

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    Sounds like you’ve had a personal experience with this. Care to share the story?
     
  23. ClemPson

    ClemPson Well-Known Member
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    A few months back I walk into the bathroom at Costco and there was a boy that was probably 4 years old with his pants around his ankles standing in the base of those floor mounted urinals. I just turned around and walked out. There was a lady who I assumed was his mom waiting at the door that was going to be in for a big surprise.

     
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  24. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Just thought of one that probably happens in varying ways around the Hollidays:

    My dad's baseball card collection, if he's accurate on which cards he has and he's a pretty by-the-book accurate person, myself and my brother estimated to be easily worth over $1mil.

    He is extremely confident his dad threw them away and refused to admit it - this was an argument on many a holiday.
     
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  25. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    "Hey neighbors - just need a quick Federal fraud favor, no biggie"

    :roll:
     
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  26. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
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    My MIL likes to overstay.
     
  27. Dr. Mantis Toboggan

    Dr. Mantis Toboggan Well-Known Member
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    Makes sense. I’m no longer questioning your methods.
     
    infected donkey likes this.
  28. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    You thought they were just setting giant sea turtles loose in the suburbs? :laugh:
     
  29. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Usher is the worst
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    It’s Florida. Yes.
     
  30. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    I think it would be self-evident. But I learned it in law school.
     
  31. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    Another Florida tortoise story I’ve shared here before,

    Years ago when our son was first born my wife and I were walking through a nature area of a nearby park with our son in a stroller.

    She hears some rustling in the bushes and takes the fuck off. I go back and grab the stroller she left behind and bring it to her and then go back into the bushes to see what it was.

    It was a gopher tortoise
     
  32. BWC

    BWC It was the BOAT times, it was the WOAT times
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    Not family, but I’m accompanying my Taiwanese colleague to his circumcision on NYE day. Gonna be an awkward morning, to say the least.
     
  33. fsugrad99

    fsugrad99 I'm the victim here
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    …..

    …..

    And how old is this person?
     
  34. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    [​IMG]
     
  35. Han Solo

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    Can you live blog this please?

    Edit: WORDS, not video.
     
  36. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Give you guys both a dollar if you take the snip to a Korean bbq joint and grill it up at the table and share it. Has to be video taken and shared here or no dollar for either of you.
     
  37. Henry Blake

    Henry Blake No Springsteen is leaving this house!
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    Is there a waiting room or are you right there holding the surgical tray?
     
  38. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    How in the world did this conversation start? Or is this a regional/religious thing he has just now decided to adhere to?
     
  39. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Placeholder for a Custom Title
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    Guessing having a westerner at the event is a huge deal.
     
  40. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Usher is the worst
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    I’ll also give a dollar to both.
     
  41. Stone Cold Steve Austin

    Stone Cold Steve Austin Tickler Extraordinaire
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    Did he convert to Christianity?
     
  42. BWC

    BWC It was the BOAT times, it was the WOAT times
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    About 45. Doc said he needed someone to come to the appointment/operation with him. Apparently, I’m the winner of that lottery.
     
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  43. BWC

    BWC It was the BOAT times, it was the WOAT times
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    [​IMG]

    Line to get into the hospital.

    He’s late. Perhaps having 2nd thoughts?
     
  44. BWC

    BWC It was the BOAT times, it was the WOAT times
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    I’ll be pleased if it doesn’t just happen in the ward hallway.
     
  45. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    At 45 I think I’d just keep the hat.
     
  46. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Holy shit at that line, snip can wait until this wave passes.
     
  47. BWC

    BWC It was the BOAT times, it was the WOAT times
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    “BWC, are you available this Friday? I want to have a circumcision surgery, but the surgeon said that I must have a company, or otherwise they won't do it... he told me this surgery would only take a few minutes...and I will try to ask them is it ok if I only ask you to come after surgery...(to save your time, I will cover all the $ it takes)”

    I believe the religion is also known in other parts of the world as “pussy is undefeated”
     
  48. fsugrad99

    fsugrad99 I'm the victim here
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    It’s a low key diss that he thought a Nebraska fan would be available NYE.
     
  49. BWC

    BWC It was the BOAT times, it was the WOAT times
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    It’s just for showing health codes to get into the hospital campus. Moves pretty fast.