It's a Pizza Party

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Celemo, May 20, 2022.

  1. killerwvu

    killerwvu Restoring WVU's E-Rep 1 Post At A Time
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    My former employer did this. Mon-Thur was business casual. Fri-Sun could wear basically anything. Could pay $2/day or $30 for the month to wear casual every day. The money went to charity
     
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  2. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    I’m sure it’s been said, but I’m at the point in my life (36) that I fucking LOATHE department get togethers.

    Company, ‘here is some free food and drinks love us very much but also you have to do this off the clock!!’

    Me, ‘yea, I grab beers with the ones I want to voluntarily during hours that work for both of us because some have kids and the others, like me, don’t want to get stuck talking about the fucking job when it’s not work hours. How about you send that cheeseburger to my house and an extra side so I can split it with my wife?’
     
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  3. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    Trade it in for a membership to a website
     
    #103 IV, May 20, 2022
    Last edited: May 20, 2022
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  4. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    yes
     
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  5. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    Once a month I allow my employees to suck my dick.

    LOLjk I suck everyone’s dick.
     
  6. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    OK last one: we get an email about an "exciting announcement." We get to the meeting and HR announces (in maybe September) that the company was proud of everyone's hard work, are encouraging mental health, and encouraged everyone to take time off this holiday season!

    ...because on January 1 we're instituting a cap on accumulated PTO to limit our liabilities and if you're above that number you will lose your vacation
     
    #106 ohhaithur, May 20, 2022
    Last edited: May 20, 2022
  7. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    :roll:
     
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  8. killerwvu

    killerwvu Restoring WVU's E-Rep 1 Post At A Time
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    That's amazing :roll:
     
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  9. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    ohhaithur Did you work for Dunder Mifflin?
     
  10. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    ohhaithur is winning this thread hands down.
     
  11. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    Sometimes it sure seemed that way
     
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  12. cdaysker

    cdaysker Quarry
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    I got a padded envelope in the mail last year addressed from my manager. It was close to $5 in mailing costs. The contents were a single bag of microwave popcorn and a mini box of milk duds with a note saying “You’re a star!”
     
  13. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    What a dud.
     
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  14. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    This shit is so infuriating.

    My company sent out a email to those that work in an the corporate office (I’m sales so I’m never in the building) about how exciting it is that they get to go back to the workplace and ‘here is a list of reasons why this is awesome!!’

    color changed font, BOLD letters for important points, over emphasis on working together.

    I felt the pain of every one of them that had to go back at that time because that fucking email was straight out of ‘office space.’
     
  15. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    This is true, I can confirm I saw the picture to this and it’s probably worse than he is making it out to be.
     
  16. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    As the person on the other side of these, it’s pretty hard to do stuff people actually appreciate.

    Still, most of the examples in this thread are fucking hilarious/pathetic. The “appreciation” stuff we do at our fast food restaurants make it look terrible in comparison and I’m sure a lot of these are large companies.
     
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  17. BellottiBold

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    I actually appreciate it when you provide me with a work opportunity where I feel like I'm respected and not infantilized HTH
     
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  18. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    people don’t appreciate most of them because most companies/big corporations realize it’s about money
    - money that is budgeted that needs to be spent
    - bat signal in the sky to try to make you look away from the problems
    - justifying a person in a space they can govern


    I’m just getting started. Outside of small businesses I’d be hard pressed to find most companies that do shit for the good of the workers. It’s always shit to try to distract you from the fact that they don’t give a shit about you and if they *think* the pizza party will keep people a bit more happy that, 1 person doesn’t quit, so they don’t have to train a new one, and save more money as a result….they will throw it.
     
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  19. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    I’m trying to wrap my head around companies charging money to wear certain clothing items to work.
     
  20. BellottiBold

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    Yea that's one of the more ridiculous (NOOOPE) things I've ever heard of
     
  21. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Do you make en election to have $2 deducted from your next pay check? Is there a jar labeled “Jean money” at the receptionist desk? How does a company justify monetizing that? So many questions
     
  22. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    HR took the money and then emailed out the list of people who paid by lunch to department directors, who were then supposed to police it

    The man hours used on this...
     
  23. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
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    When I was a kid my dad worked at Enron and they’d shut down Astroworld so we had the whole park to ourselves.

    Talk about a company that cares, I wonder how they ended up doing.
     
  24. fucktx

    fucktx ruthkanda forever
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    My company does this thing called “healthy bingo” to try to keep their employees from being fat and keep insurance costs down

    if you get a bingo you get a water bottle or some shit with the company logo on it lmao

    some of the squares say shit like eat vegetables or go for a walk

    absolutely ludicrous
     
  25. seanofthedead86

    seanofthedead86 Well-Known Member
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    My company has a "company store" which is a generic web page with print on demand shit. Ive only been given one thing with the company logo on it and it was a cheap hat they didn't pay for; a contractor who was working on our expansion got them made and handed them out. I have more useful free stuff from Emerson and Drager.

    We do get bonuses at the beginning of each year. Im maxed out at my current position and looking at cost of living raises from here on out until I get a new job.
     
  26. NCHusker

    NCHusker We named our yam Pam. It rhymed.
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    Expiring gift cards are a fucking scam so really the restaurant is the scam artist
     
  27. ARSENAL

    ARSENAL Well-Known Member
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    When covid was real bad. They gave us little bags of cotton candy. Not joking
     

    Attached Files:

  28. NCHusker

    NCHusker We named our yam Pam. It rhymed.
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    The solution is just to give them money. It is not hard
     
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  29. TAXTAXTAX

    TAXTAXTAX Well-Known Member
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    It's not hard at all. Just give people money. Giving them meaningless bullshit instead is insulting.
     
  30. NCHusker

    NCHusker We named our yam Pam. It rhymed.
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    Nebraska CornhuskersChicago CubsDenver NuggetsKansas City ChiefsAvengersUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamUSA BasketballBig 8 ConferenceBig Ten ConferenceNebraska Cornhuskers alt

    "We are appreciative of the great work that you did to allow us to make a lot of money. However we won't be giving you any. Take this t-shirt and shut up"
     
  31. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    :pffft:
     
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  32. It'sAlwaysSunnyInAthens

    It'sAlwaysSunnyInAthens Well-Known Member
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    I get a lot of clothes and shoes from coaching. I got paid less than 2k to coach baseball 6 days a week from February to may but I probably got a thousand dollars in clothes and shoes. Still kind of sucks but I enjoy it.
     
  33. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    At the last college I worked at, I was labeled part-time (even though I worked like 50-60+ hours a week) because I was only a 10-month employee. Because of that part-time status, they wouldn't...
    • Put me in the college directory
    • Put a name plate for my office door
    • Give me a name tag that they always wants you to wear when attending any type of formal event with guests from outside the college community
    • Give me business cards
    So what did I do when I became full-time even though I was going to be leaving at the end of the calendar year? I got them to do all that then I turned in my notice lol
     
  34. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Fuck. Yes.
     
  35. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    I miss all the free clothes I got when I was involved in athletics. If I had kept all the stuff I got in my ~15 years between undergrad and jobs I could have clothed a villages in developing countries, probably.
     
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  36. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    And mind you the college directory was literally just a page on the website that listed my name, my position, my office location and phone #, and email.

    Oh and I got them to provide me a college cell phone and cell plan too lol. I didn't even want it. I wasn't going to go through the trouble of canceling my current plan since I knew I was leaving. So I just got them to spend money on something I had zero need for. I was basically in "fuck you I'm, going to get what I deserve" mood.
     
  37. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Florida banned expiring gift cards for this exact reason
     
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  38. buy_dont_lease

    buy_dont_lease Ha ha ha. What a story, Mark.
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    My old employer sucked so I left and went into business for myself. I have an employee now and she’s paid pretty well and I offer health insurance and retirement. She has some health issues, so the health insurance is a big deal for her, and I’m glad to be able to provide her affordable access to things she needs. Also she gets unannounced bonuses and a birthday cake on her birthday. She also gets Friday afternoons off.

    Her name is devine
     
  39. Beachy Toast

    Beachy Toast He wants you too, Malachi.
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    Surrounding school districts gave their staff 1 time bonuses with some of the COVID monies; we got a taco truck and cookies.
     
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  40. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
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    We know your calendars are overloaded with Zoom meetings, so here’s a zoom meeting about how to deal with zoom meeting fatigue + DESK YOGA!
     
  41. Bo Pelinis

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    I know this is a stupid shit and not awesome shit thread but close to a year ago I got a call on a Friday and got several thousand in a bonus out of nowhere. That was super tight.
     
  42. TLAU

    TLAU Dog Crew
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    What if you were a rogue jeaner and wore jeans without paying? Was it policed and they sent you home or summoned you into a superiors office to ask if it was an act of rebellion or if you forgot to pay? Or would they garnish your wages?
     
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  43. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    Rogue jeaner
     
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  44. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    This is it, this is the most depressing thread on tmb.
     
    #144 pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ, May 20, 2022
    Last edited: May 21, 2022
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  45. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    I was a rouge jeaner. I was told to go to hr to pay when I got caught. I did maybe half the time but it never escalated to garnished wages thankfully
     
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  46. herb.burdette

    herb.burdette Meet me at the corner of 8th and Worthington
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    Ohio State Buckeyes

    My firm Christmas party is a Saturday brunch. Associates video a skit, then get their bonuses.

    My first year at the firm, they gave everyone a clock instead of cash.

    The next year, the skit was a variety of scenes of what happened to the clocks. One was turned into a bird feeder. One was given to a homeless guy. One was used to prop up a couch that was missing a leg.

    One guy in the skit pretended to keep missing meetings because the clock was wrong. Another kept showing low bids on E-Bay for the clock.

    The next year, we went to objective cash bonuses.
     
    #146 herb.burdette, May 20, 2022
    Last edited: May 20, 2022
  47. BellottiBold

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    Lol this is such dogshit
     
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  48. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
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    Fucking clocks….clocks. I’m kind of stunned by this TBH. How in the fuck does anyone think that anyone would prefer a clock over any type of cash bonus.

    When I was at Deloitte, we got $500 Amex cards as a spot bonus one summer (not as a replacement to normal bonuses); it was 100% out of the blue and much appreciated, but it set a precedent. Next year we got $500 - but at a limited store - you could buy Deloitte Merch, office items, etc. Year 3 it was $250 Amex + $250 at the Deloitte Store. Year 4 it was just a Deloitte branded Alexa or Google Home (your choice!) - people were redeeming their Alexa’s, scraping off the Delotte logo, and selling them on eBay.
     
  49. Han Solo

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    As a “welcome back to the office” (but only 3 days a week of your choice and no one actually tracks it), my company got everyone airpod pro’s.

    I like my company.
     
  50. BellottiBold

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    THIS ISN'T FOR YOU
    [​IMG]