I have a stalker. Any advice?

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by westcoastbias, Feb 10, 2023.

  1. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Ironically it's also what bertwing calls his weekly cup of boiling jiz
     
  2. RU-Omega Potato

    RU-Omega Potato We play 'til the gun you crotchety old bitch.
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    It's really not as difficult as you might think once you get the hang of it. I've dealt with it my whole life.

    [​IMG]
     
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  3. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member
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    I personally wouldn't block his number, as: 1. When he gets a dead dial tone it probably only instigates him more, 2. For court ordered stuff (and for my mental well-being) I'd like to know how often he has been contacting me, keeping a log of his voicemails, texts, etc. I know it makes it worse seeing him call, but could be better in the long run
     
  4. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
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    Having this shit hanging over you has to be the absolute worst. I hope a bus hits him.
     
  5. Emma

    Emma
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    document and save everything, continue to follow up with the police, inform and ask neighbors to call or text you/police if they spot the guy around the neighborhood, mace or whatever other protection/personal defense, enhance your security measures, try to private all of your public information, keep silent on social media, and consider not interacting with the guy unless absolutely required

    Sometimes starving someone of their attention seeking behavior slowly burns out said seeking behavior.
     
  6. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    Do you have a spare bedroom he could rent?
     
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  7. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    if you really think he’s going to show up this weekend, I’d prob take your wife/kids and head to a hotel or a friend’s place for the weekend
     
  8. It'sAlwaysSunnyInAthens

    It'sAlwaysSunnyInAthens Well-Known Member
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  9. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb Living rent free in Jigga's head
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    Always better to give than to receive
     
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  10. westcoastbias

    westcoastbias Well-Known Member
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    Cops recommended blocking the number so we took the advice. Wife and kids are gone for the weekend. Me and the dog are holding down the fort.
     
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  11. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    I’d tell you but I don’t have my own collection of blades to duel you with
     
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  12. Tigers

    Tigers Admin of the Year 2011-2014
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    I do think there is a great uno reverse card here by leaning into the conspiracy theories. Make him believe you’re on the same side and the government is watching them. They have to stay apart for their own safety.
     
  13. Tigers

    Tigers Admin of the Year 2011-2014
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  14. BrickTamland

    BrickTamland You're not Ron...
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    19 replies in? It took 19 replies to get here?

    Goddamnit Mr. Noodle…
     
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  15. ARSENAL

    ARSENAL Well-Known Member
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    Most of my teenage years I yearned for a female stalker. Just to give me a sense of pride and worth. It doesn’t sound as fun now tbh
     
  16. NDJOECA

    NDJOECA Well-Known Member

    Silently hand him a copy of 1984 with a handwritten note explaining that you can’t be seen together because big brother is watching.
     
  17. bama1

    bama1 I like you
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    This may have already been said, I haven’t made it past this post yet but wanted to share just in case.

    Most Sheriff’s offices and police departments have a “extra patrol” sheet/document for when the public requests it. They log it in their system every time they patrol the area and the ones I’ve been associated with require it for each shift especially in a case like this.
    At least in Alabama but I would assume it’s like that in most jurisdictions.
     
  18. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 He should keep his mouth firmly shut
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    Better to just suck a dick
     
  19. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Fucking borrowing a gun that has no ammunition and he (presumably) has no training or practice is a TERRIBLE IDEA — especially when dealing with a person who has proven mental illness and a history of violence.

    I don’t know CA gun laws but he could be commiting a crime just by being in possession of a firearm that isn’t his.

    Like do you live in reality?
     
    #219 Name P. Redacted, Feb 10, 2023
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2023
  20. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 He should keep his mouth firmly shut
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    :booger:
     
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  21. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    He’s familiar with guns (mentioned it earlier)

    Borrowing a gun in this situation is a bad idea for multiple reasons

    If he wants to go buy one that’s fine imo especially considering he wants to do the responsible thing and get used to it before a situation where he might need it.
     
  22. Shinzon

    Shinzon °°°°°
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    Already covered the reasoning for no ammo. I said borrow because it’s Friday night, and the dude could show up any time this weekend. Assumed it’s quicker than trying to buy one. And if it came down to it, I’d rather go to court about using someone else’s firearm to defend my home/family than go to anyone’s funeral. That’s reality.

    But yeah, I already said it wasn’t the best idea. And it was just a quick fix.
     
    #222 Shinzon, Feb 10, 2023
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2023
  23. bama1

    bama1 I like you
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    westcoastbias also just for your information and even though the odds are in your favor, just know OC isn’t considered 100% effective. They teach us it’s effective on about 9/10 adults but I’ve seen some studies that have said it could be higher. I’ve personally have seen a grown man wipe it off like it was water and it was on after that, not saying it will happen in your case but just wanted you to be aware so you’re not 100% reliant on it.

    what brand did you buy? Got a pic or link to it?
     
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  24. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Yes I saw mr wcb mention that later in the thread but I had to fire off my take as soon as I read the idea of borrowing an unusable gun.
     
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  25. DriveByBBQ

    DriveByBBQ Well-Known Member
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    Consult with a private security firm.
     
    #225 DriveByBBQ, Feb 10, 2023
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2023
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  26. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    I do appreciate that the guy that owned our house before us was a cop that supposedly did undercover work. He set up a security camera system that covers every entrance to our house. Records to a computer in our bonus room
     
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  27. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
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    westcoastbias not sure where you live, but some states have “stalking protective orders” that are more stringent than restraining orders.

    I don’t have much advice beyond what others have offered, but at least it seems like you have a psychotic stalker as opposed to a personality disordered one.
     
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  28. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    [​IMG]
     
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  29. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Fight fire with fire. Hire a crazy drifter to stalk him. Best case they kill each other.
     
    #229 Homo Erectus, Feb 10, 2023
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2023
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  30. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    Why does every solution you propose to any problem involve killing a drifter?
     
  31. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    I'll stop suggesting it when it quits working
     
  32. Truman

    Truman Well-Known Member
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    Find a hitchhiker w an axe and have him patrol your yard

    upload_2023-2-10_20-41-2.gif
     
  33. Aaron Hernandez

    Aaron Hernandez LikeMyPostCampaign: https://bit.ly/2kKJpot
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    I don’t want to make light of this because it sounds scary. But next time he shows up do you think you could post through it for us?
     
  34. DriveByBBQ

    DriveByBBQ Well-Known Member
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    Find a 3rd person that shares your name and team up with your current stalker.

    Seriously though, you should consult with a professional/experienced private security firm. People get paid to deal with this stuff.
     
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  35. NDJOECA

    NDJOECA Well-Known Member

    Where in CA is this?
     
  36. AptosDuck

    AptosDuck Pedantic Hausfrau
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    write it backwards so a search engine can't find it
     
  37. southlick

    southlick "Better Than You"
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    Kill him
     
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  38. Eric The Viking

    Eric The Viking Nitro, the All Knowing
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    Could easily get something like this greenlit. The set locations would be cheap, the story is writing itself, and the action would be easy to choreograph…unless the katana angle comes into play.
     
  39. joey jo-jo jr shabadoo

    joey jo-jo jr shabadoo you know for me, the action is the juice

    anybody recommend a pillowcase full of door knobs yet?

    that would be my move
     
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  40. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Have to think the gratuitous dick sucking would push it to NC-17.
     
  41. portlandspartan

    portlandspartan Well-Known Member
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    upload_2023-2-10_19-26-29.gif
     
  42. westcoastbias

    westcoastbias Well-Known Member
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    Whales vagina.
     
  43. westcoastbias

    westcoastbias Well-Known Member
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    I’m gonna both hands wrapped around katanas.
     
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  44. Killy Me Please

    Killy Me Please I lift things up and put people down.
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    That's uh,... disturbing.
     
  45. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    This is why you never name your child John Smith
     
  46. Gizmoandsooz

    Gizmoandsooz Well-Known Member
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    Silly comment. Bloke has a stalker.
     
  47. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
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    Greet him at the door next time with a lion

    I think I posted about this before but I've had to deal with multiple break ins when I was living with my old housemate

    We had two girls that broke all our damn windows and only stole his underwear and then it was a full swat team situation because we didn't know if anyone was still in the house or not
     
  48. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
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    Wow, the lion hate is coming from Tigers was predictable but still hurts
     
  49. Gizmoandsooz

    Gizmoandsooz Well-Known Member
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    Record your own farts and send them to him via text
     
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  50. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
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    Why microwaved, just hit him with the real deal the next time he shows up unannounced
     
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