It's really not as difficult as you might think once you get the hang of it. I've dealt with it my whole life. Spoiler
I personally wouldn't block his number, as: 1. When he gets a dead dial tone it probably only instigates him more, 2. For court ordered stuff (and for my mental well-being) I'd like to know how often he has been contacting me, keeping a log of his voicemails, texts, etc. I know it makes it worse seeing him call, but could be better in the long run
document and save everything, continue to follow up with the police, inform and ask neighbors to call or text you/police if they spot the guy around the neighborhood, mace or whatever other protection/personal defense, enhance your security measures, try to private all of your public information, keep silent on social media, and consider not interacting with the guy unless absolutely required Sometimes starving someone of their attention seeking behavior slowly burns out said seeking behavior.
if you really think he’s going to show up this weekend, I’d prob take your wife/kids and head to a hotel or a friend’s place for the weekend
Cops recommended blocking the number so we took the advice. Wife and kids are gone for the weekend. Me and the dog are holding down the fort.
I do think there is a great uno reverse card here by leaning into the conspiracy theories. Make him believe you’re on the same side and the government is watching them. They have to stay apart for their own safety.
Most of my teenage years I yearned for a female stalker. Just to give me a sense of pride and worth. It doesn’t sound as fun now tbh
Silently hand him a copy of 1984 with a handwritten note explaining that you can’t be seen together because big brother is watching.
This may have already been said, I haven’t made it past this post yet but wanted to share just in case. Most Sheriff’s offices and police departments have a “extra patrol” sheet/document for when the public requests it. They log it in their system every time they patrol the area and the ones I’ve been associated with require it for each shift especially in a case like this. At least in Alabama but I would assume it’s like that in most jurisdictions.
Fucking borrowing a gun that has no ammunition and he (presumably) has no training or practice is a TERRIBLE IDEA — especially when dealing with a person who has proven mental illness and a history of violence. I don’t know CA gun laws but he could be commiting a crime just by being in possession of a firearm that isn’t his. Like do you live in reality?
He’s familiar with guns (mentioned it earlier) Borrowing a gun in this situation is a bad idea for multiple reasons If he wants to go buy one that’s fine imo especially considering he wants to do the responsible thing and get used to it before a situation where he might need it.
Already covered the reasoning for no ammo. I said borrow because it’s Friday night, and the dude could show up any time this weekend. Assumed it’s quicker than trying to buy one. And if it came down to it, I’d rather go to court about using someone else’s firearm to defend my home/family than go to anyone’s funeral. That’s reality. But yeah, I already said it wasn’t the best idea. And it was just a quick fix.
westcoastbias also just for your information and even though the odds are in your favor, just know OC isn’t considered 100% effective. They teach us it’s effective on about 9/10 adults but I’ve seen some studies that have said it could be higher. I’ve personally have seen a grown man wipe it off like it was water and it was on after that, not saying it will happen in your case but just wanted you to be aware so you’re not 100% reliant on it. what brand did you buy? Got a pic or link to it?
Yes I saw mr wcb mention that later in the thread but I had to fire off my take as soon as I read the idea of borrowing an unusable gun.
I do appreciate that the guy that owned our house before us was a cop that supposedly did undercover work. He set up a security camera system that covers every entrance to our house. Records to a computer in our bonus room
westcoastbias not sure where you live, but some states have “stalking protective orders” that are more stringent than restraining orders. I don’t have much advice beyond what others have offered, but at least it seems like you have a psychotic stalker as opposed to a personality disordered one.
I don’t want to make light of this because it sounds scary. But next time he shows up do you think you could post through it for us?
Find a 3rd person that shares your name and team up with your current stalker. Seriously though, you should consult with a professional/experienced private security firm. People get paid to deal with this stuff.
Could easily get something like this greenlit. The set locations would be cheap, the story is writing itself, and the action would be easy to choreograph…unless the katana angle comes into play.
Greet him at the door next time with a lion I think I posted about this before but I've had to deal with multiple break ins when I was living with my old housemate We had two girls that broke all our damn windows and only stole his underwear and then it was a full swat team situation because we didn't know if anyone was still in the house or not