ITT: We tell secrets about famous athletes that only you would know

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by dwolfunc, Jul 20, 2009.

  1. Fred Flintstone

    Donor
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesAtlanta BravesNew Orleans SaintsGrateful Dead

    Let me guess. You never met them but one of your friends friends knows them well.
     
  2. gus_chiggins

    gus_chiggins Where you goin’ with those clubs, punk
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTiger WoodsGrateful Dead

    Almost an outstanding guess. I never really "met" them, but I played against them in soccer. One of my good friends was on their team and we were talking about them last night.
     
  3. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    "They went to my high school/are friends with my cousin/grew up in the same hometown as me/my mom taught them"

    ^different ways people have told me they know them
     
  4. Clegg

    Clegg I'm too old for this shit.
    Donor
    Georgia Bulldogs

    My brother had a kid in his class named Shaka Zulu. Always thought that was a great one.
     
    Accent likes this.
  5. ground mullet

    ground mullet Well hung ember
    Donor

    .
     
    #1355 ground mullet, Jul 26, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2018
  6. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
    Donor

    It was during exam week, where the class periods are 2-3 times as long and the seven periods are spread out over 3 days. We would typically finish the exams with a ton of time left in the period, and we'd just dick around for the rest of class. So everyone's got their desks turned every which way so it's easier to talk to your buddy.

    I happen to glance behind me and Cro and this chick have positioned their desks so they're facing each other. Cro is kind of leaning over and he's got his hand up this chicks skirt. She's got her head on the desk and her eyes are closed. The teacher's in the front of the room grading papers or doing some other shit, so he's totally clueless as to what's going on.

    How do I know Antonio Cromartie is going to hell? Aside from being just a shitty person in general, he's was palm deep in some chick in Bible class.
     
    fsugrad99, Legend2 and Celemo like this.
  7. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesDallas CowboysNational LeagueAvengersBarAndGrill

    I know Lemonjello and Oranjello through our mutual friend Arkadin.
     
    bertwing, Deckard, tandin and 2 others like this.
  8. Truman

    Truman Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Missouri TigersSt. Louis CardinalsChicago BullsSt. Louis BluesEvertonBook Club

    I used to wait tables at a breakfast place in STL, when Grant Winstrom played for the rams. He would order the 'Gravy Train' omlete which was basically beef potatoes and gravy in an omelet, topped with gravy. He would ask for extra gravy in a cup, dip toast in gravy and drink the extra.

    :blech:
     
  9. petey23

    petey23 Well-Known Member
    Chicago BlackhawksUSA RugbyMaryland TerrapinsPhiladelphia FlyersMinnesota WildMilwaukee Brewers altNebraska Cornhuskers

    Friend of mine from college is a school administrator in Lubbock.....had a kid in school named Shithead...pronounced shi-thee-ad
     
  10. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
    Donor
    Tennessee VolunteersLos Angeles DodgersBuffalo BillsBuffalo Sabres

    liar
     
  11. miles

    miles All I know is my gut says, maybe
    Donor

    After hearing the guy speak to the media today, this seems entirely plausible.
     
  12. miles

    miles All I know is my gut says, maybe
    Donor

    There were sisters at my high school named:

    Tomorrow
    Today
    T'yesterday

    :facepalm:
     
    Red Rover likes this.
  13. pearroh

    pearroh New'ish Member
    Donor
    Los Angeles DodgersOakland RaidersLos Angeles KingsArsenalLos Angeles Galaxy

    Not really cool or interesting, but i was told that Ryan Matthews is/was a super WoW nerd.. him and a few other pros. I believe he still gets online for WoW.. but CoD for sure though.
     
  14. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    Refer to Lemonjello/Orangejello story
     
    bryix, Z and Whammy Business like this.
  15. (Z)

    (Z) Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideBoston Red Sox

    No, no he didn't.
     
  16. Doug

    Doug Skeptical Doug-o
    Donor
    LSU TigersNew Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsLouisiana Ragin' CajunsPoker

    No, no, no they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd be like if they did, right...? Everybody on, good, great, grand, wonderful.
     
    bertwing, Mr. Bean, Red Rover and 2 others like this.
  17. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
    Donor

    There was a Shithead at our rivals high school. I'm guessing it's a somewhat common name in India. Obviously, we thought it was hilarious
     
  18. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    Oh my god
     
  19. (Z)

    (Z) Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideBoston Red Sox

    Must be a very common name. I don't think I've ever met a single person who didn't know a kid with the exact same name pronounced the exact same way in high school.
     
    Drew63, Jaqen H'ghar and Redav like this.
  20. og

    og ready to party? by party I mean smoke cigarettes
    Donor TMB OG
    Pittsburgh PenguinsPittsburgh SteelersPenn State Nittany Lions

    prove it bro
     
  21. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    I thought tmb would be immune to orangejello/shithead claims.
     
    DazedandContused likes this.
  22. bryix

    bryix youth pastor at the meat church
    Donor
    Georgia Bulldogs

    Yeah I do have a girlfriend! She goes to a different school. You wouldn't know her.
     
  23. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    You can't swing a dead cat without hitting an Indian named Shithead.
     
  24. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersMinnesota VikingsDetroit Tigers

    :respek: this is the first time I've encountered another TMB poster utilize the "you can't swing a dead cat" figure of speech
     
    Redav likes this.
  25. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    Lol, I'm a big fan
     
    Celemo likes this.
  26. albert pujols is a homosexual
     
  27. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    Aziz ansari uses it to make fun of South Carolina. Solid figure of speech
     
  28. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    [​IMG]

    Don't you feel stupid.
     
    Croomsday, IV, bertwing and 8 others like this.
  29. Longhairdntcare

    Longhairdntcare Well-Known Member
    TMB OG

    This thread went to shit
     
    Gators611 likes this.
  30. Not William

    Not William Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    Your face went to shit.
     
  31. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Miami DolphinsChelseaMiami Heat

    Kinda worried if you would be the only one to know this
     
    tandn, Jaqen H'ghar and Arrec Bardwin like this.
  32. Goose

    Goose Hi
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsReal MadridXavier MusketeersDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiPGA

    We have a set of brothers names Austin, Houston, and Dallas
     
    Verbal Kint likes this.
  33. fsugrad99

    fsugrad99 I'm the victim here
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesTexas RangersAustin FCNXTAEW

    ahaha, thread made EDSBS
     
  34. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Anindefensible 27 page shitpileof rumor, innuendo, filth, outright sexism and racism, boring internet bickering, and unverified libel. We read the whole thing in one sitting, of course.

    Gonna be famous for my Cromartie story.

    :smug:
     
  35. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    That guy has downs, and that card is shopped
     
  36. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    The only reason I knew about him was from Deadspin's article of the "100 Worst Baseball Players of All Time." Apparently, he was nuts:

    http://deadspin.com/5820622/the-100-worst-baseball-players-of-all-time-a-celebration-part-2
     
    Red Rover likes this.
  37. Merica

    Merica Devine pls stop pointing out my demise. :(
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesPittsburgh Steelers

    IV and 34 like this.
  38. Duvel

    Duvel Single Malts, Strong Pale Ales
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideNew Orleans Pelicans

    (Users: 26, Guests: 251)
     
  39. Goose

    Goose Hi
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsReal MadridXavier MusketeersDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiPGA

    What is EDSBS?
     
  40. Merica

    Merica Devine pls stop pointing out my demise. :(
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesPittsburgh Steelers

    [​IMG]
     
  41. $P1

    $P1 Ball State #1
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesChicago CubsLos Angeles LakersChicago BearsChicago BlackhawksWest Ham UnitedBall State Cardinals

    Welcome guests.

    If you are an attractive female and enjoy Red Lobster, please send me a private message. As you can see in my status update, I'm in a relationship, but it is definitely complicated so there's room for you in my life as well.

    We will dine on cheddar bay biscuits like true royalty.

    - Stinky P1nky, esq.
     
    Celemo and Fuzzy Zoeller like this.
  42. skiedfrillet

    skiedfrillet It's not a lie if you believe it.
    Donor
    Clemson Tigers

    what a fantastic turn of events
     
  43. skiedfrillet

    skiedfrillet It's not a lie if you believe it.
    Donor
    Clemson Tigers

    fuck this gay earth, my work has edsbs blocked
     
  44. Fancy

    Fancy thanks, i hate it
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Oregon DucksSeattle MarinersSeattle SeahawksSeattle SupersonicsSeattle Kraken

    YOU EVER HAD YOUR ASSHOLE LICKED BY A FAT MAN IN AN OVERCOAT?
     
  45. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
    Donor
    Tennessee VolunteersLos Angeles DodgersBuffalo BillsBuffalo Sabres

    there is a storm coming Mr. TMB
     
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  46. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
    Donor TMB OG
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesLos Angeles ChargersAvengersSneakers

    When TMB is ashes ... You have my permission to die.
     
  47. thegenerel

    thegenerel Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Pittsburgh PenguinsPenn State Nittany LionsPittsburgh SteelersWest Ham United

    I showed this to a buddy, he gave me a few stories to add

    - my buddy used to live in the cities down the road from Fred Smoot when he was a viking, said smoot would only leave his house for practice and games, and that girls would just come over 1 after another all day

    - I dunno if this one is true, but my coworker SWEARS by it
    he used to live in minneapolis too, and knew a girl that went home with joe mauer one night, he was fucking her, and stopped, looked at her and said "can you believe you are fucking joe mauer?" then tried to start again but he said she stopped him and left

    - there used to be a show on vh1 called tool academy, there was a girl on there I thought was hot so I found her name, searched her on facebook, and added her. the show wasnt very big so she wasnt a celebrity or anything. we got to talking probably every week exchanging emails, she said to come out to CA and stop in to her place of work say whats up. I never really considered it, but then her facebook disappeared. couple days later I found out she was the girl Tiger Woods was hooking up with that his wife caught him with
    100% srs and true
     
  48. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersMinnesota VikingsDetroit Tigers

    Last dozen or so posts have not disappointed. :respek: to SF, the Jay & Silent Bob reset cracked my ass up during my Section meeting
     
  49. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels