It's a Pizza Party

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Celemo, May 20, 2022.

  1. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    My company doesn't really try terribly hard. Some of the shit in here is pathetically lame. We do the Bravo! program thing. I've gotten a few Apple TV's and a Blackstone out of it since I got here so while not much it's not some of the lame to insulting "gestures" detailed in here.
     
  2. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    I would’ve went directly back to their pool and taken a nice healthy dehydrated piss in there
     
  3. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Arkansas RazorbacksNew Orleans SaintsTiger WoodsBarAndGrill

    [​IMG]
     
    blind dog, Drunkle Tom, Dump and 14 others like this.
  4. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    Same. Fun times


    My wife got points from work over several years and cashed it in for an iPad. Not bad
     
  5. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    Amazing
     
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  6. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    One year instead of Christmas bonuses we got a subscription to the Jelly of the Month club.
     
  7. GboroKidd

    GboroKidd Free MUG
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    The gift that keeps on giving!
     
  8. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    About ten years ago I was named Employee of the Year and instead of a cash bonus I got a $7500 Waterford crystal eagle

    And to top it off they mispronounced my name when I won at the company Christmas party
     
  9. ARSENAL

    ARSENAL Well-Known Member
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    I guess I should preface this by explaining that I don’t work at a hospital, but a mental health facility. So basically the state checks them in over a suicide attempt or a overdose or whatever to harm themselves. We then have another unit that’s catered specifically for the geriatric patients who have dementia or whatever. So it was an absolute blast getting 90 year-olds in with dementia who had covid. We asked them to stay in their rooms, but Bob who was in the ‘Nam was all over our fucking floor looking for Charlie. And found no NVA except other elderly patients. And getting them sick. God what a fucking mess it was. Fuck yoy Pavilion of the two virginias
     
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  10. theregionsitter

    theregionsitter Well-Known Member
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    I sold a house recently and a client gave me a bourbon bottle at closing because he said I was a great agent. It was the first time a client had gotten me a gift so I was kind of excited.

    I got home and discovered the bottle was open and was missing multiple pours.... also it was Whistle Pig
     
  11. Baseballman86

    Baseballman86 Well-Known Member
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesAtlanta Falcons

    At my first job, they would do employee appreciation week once a year, where each day would have a catered lunch or dress casual or go home an hour early type thing. Nothing crazy but not awful.

    One year they legit told us "we were so blessed, we'd be spending employee appreciation week giving back" and we did a bunch of community service, outside in GA in June.
     
  12. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    When that blizzard hit TX they sent out an email saying if you didn’t have a 4 wheel drive truck there were designated employees who did who would come and pick you up and bring you to work…every employee was fully capable of working from home. They ended up letting everyone wfh.
     
  13. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Galaxy brain managers - do events on the clock and make your employees have to work off hours
     
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  14. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
    Donor TMB OG

    :roll: :blowup:
     
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  15. ClemPson

    ClemPson Well-Known Member
    Clemson TigersAtlanta BravesJacksonville Jaguars


    Fishing with a coworker today and asked him if he knew why they blankets were so small. Apparently the idea was to buy fleece throws for people to have at their desk since every lady in the office complains it’s freezing cold. The person in charge of ordering them is and idiot and didn’t realize how small they would be in person. When they came in they said fuck it and refused to reorder bigger ones because they are cheap.
     
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  16. buckwild

    buckwild #BucketsGetsBuckets
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    I have a neighbor that is a Counselor in a shitty school district in Central Ohio...good amount of violence, etc at the high school level. For teacher appreciation week this year the staff were all given pocket knifes that had the school logo on them. Two thoughts were common from the staff..."Is this for us to protect ourselves?" "I hope I don't get stabbed with my teacher appreciation gift".
     
  17. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Oh I forgot this doozy my current company did last year. For National Hospital Week (the practice is owned by the hospital company) last year, they promised everyone a pancake breakfast. For the folks who worked at a practice without a cafeteria, which is basically every single outpatient facility like mine, they said executives would bring us our pancake breakfast. It was a shitty muffin, a tiny thing of blueberry yogurt, and some shitty fruit cup. Later in the week, there was going to be a free BBQ lunch. Same thing, executives would bring us our lunch. It was a chicken salad sandwich, a bag of plain pita chips, and an oatmeal raisin granola bar.

    There were quite a lot of pissed off people and a lot of food thrown away, so I took vacation this year on Hospital Week. I don't know what bullshit they tried to peddle off on people for their free food, but almost every single event that was being run to celebrate the week was at peak day hours either virtual or being held at the main hospital during peak day hours when just about the only people that would be able to go would be execs and people off shift. We have quite a lot of people that work in facilities in other cities that basically didn't get to participate in anything in-person because of that.
     
    #167 Shawn Hunter, May 21, 2022
    Last edited: May 21, 2022
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  18. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Giving out a weapon at a school is one of the dumbest fucking things I will ever read.
     
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  19. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Back to Back to Back AAU National Champs
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    I’ve seen this episode of the office I think
     
    Dump, BlazingRebel, One Two and 2 others like this.
  20. Deuce

    Deuce Well-Known Member
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTiger WoodsBirmingham Legion

    On Monday this week this showed up in my office in a UPS box addressed to me. No card. No explanation.

    upload_2022-5-21_7-54-12.jpeg

    Apparently I won a random drawing that took place during team appreciation week.
     
  21. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Did you miss the "Ohio" part?
     
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  22. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    at my last job, summer 2020 they thanked us for working through the pandemic by giving us a small plastic tub of popcorn
     
  23. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    My old job didn’t even bother with a welcome back to the office treat. Just a bunch of bull shit about how the firm lost a bunch of money during the pandemic and we were lucky to have jobs. I was gone by the end of the year.
     
  24. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    My building decided to give everyone a treat for easter. It was a plastic easter egg with one mini fruit tootise roll inside it. Like why even bother spending the money on the eggs, candy, and man hours to fill the eggs for such an insignificant treat?
     
  25. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Cheap companies should start giving out scratch offs instead of $5-$10 plastic good for nothing gifts. At least then the employees have a chance at getting something decent.
     
    Daddy Rabbit, Brocephus, Dump and 6 others like this.
  26. letan

    letan Just looking for the gator board
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    Real MadridJacksonville JaguarsFlorida GatorsTampa Bay Rays

    We do a lot of the basic shit like send out dumb care packages, team lunches and team outings occasionally. And if people don’t want to attend the team outing I just let them leave work early.

    I’d say my company as a whole has done quite a bit lately though. Just announced raises for everyone making under $100k, doubled the number of free counseling sessions and gave everyone a decent chunk of stock as a bonus earlier this year. Oh and also announced a sabbatical program for certain employees. Interested to see how that goes.
     
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  27. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    They probably just told you this to keep seniors off the road.
     
  28. broken internet

    broken internet Everything I touch turns to gold.
    Kansas City RoyalsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsWichita State Shockers

    As a nurse, this whole thread:

    [​IMG]
     
  29. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    Florida GatorsTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Meanwhile, my wife's company gives her an annual 5-figure bonus, regularly gives her tickets in the company suite at the arena (going to the Lightning playoff game tomorrow), and has sent her on "work" trips to pretty much every fun city in the country. In fact she just got back from a department team building trip at an all-inclusive in Cabo 2 weeks ago.

    To say that there's a disparity in how our employers reward/show their appreciation is an understatement.
     
  30. Tro lo lo

    Tro lo lo You kids must be from the suburbs.
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  31. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    COuld have gotten an easter egg if you were a nurse in my building!
     
  32. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    Michigan State SpartansDetroit LionsGeorge Washington Colonials

    Do you work for the state though? Of course everyone would prefer more money and perks, but it’s a lot harder to do something meaningful when you’re working with appropriated monies.
     
  33. DuffandMuff

    DuffandMuff Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay LightningSan Diego Padres

    Hell yeah. Prior to the pandemic we had a system where you could wear jeans two days a week if you made a monthly donation of ~$100 to United Way.

    That’s not much to the executives, but tell me how that’s equal to the admin assistant making $40k. Also goes to show there’s nothing wrong with wearing jeans to the office, but we want to milk a donation out of you for it.

    When they started asking people to return to the office they allowed jeans full time. WFH? Best we can do is jeans.
     
  34. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    A couple jobs ago, they gave engraved Rolexes for 10 year anniversaries and TVs and shit for 15-20.

    A PEG bought them and immediately put the kibosh on that and gave like engraved paperweights to the 10 year people.

    The anger from those recipients could fuel a Saturn rocket. It was hilarious and now even funnier cause they have since shitcanned their hand picked CEO and heads of marketing and operations.
     
  35. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
    Donor TMB OG

     
  36. broken internet

    broken internet Everything I touch turns to gold.
    Kansas City RoyalsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsWichita State Shockers

    We had a tray of individully-wrapped muffins for Nurses Week with a note attached saying "You all are rockstars!!! We can't think of MUFFIN better!!"

    In 72-point comic sans.

    MRW:

    [​IMG]
    And yes... the truth of the last part of the note was depressingly apparent to EVERYONE.
     
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  37. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    Your wife might just be fucking her boss
     
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  38. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    The first place I opened/worked for out here was for a huge hospitality group:

    We attempted a staff outing to a Dodgers game which was a complete disaster - multiple staff caught hooking up in the bathrooms by security that we had to convince to be allowed to be released. The staff was around 220 people so this was basically herding cats.

    We then got convinced to give them one more attempt and did a Christmas party which ended up even worse - we did not get the deposit back.


    Just sticking to bonuses moving forward - we also give out referral commissions for events/big clients/and staff recommendations for the non-managers.
     
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  39. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    Sounds like a fucking awesome party to me
     
  40. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    Oh they were - probably took years off the lives of our HR department.
     
    Brocephus likes this.
  41. It'sAlwaysSunnyInAthens

    It'sAlwaysSunnyInAthens Well-Known Member
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    Know a guy that coached varsity softball for a year. At the banquet he was presented with a 10 dollar gift card to cracker barrel.
     
  42. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    he should have coached baseball
     
  43. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    I worked at Cracker Barrel in college and it makes me laugh my ass off when it’s *often* included in the best casual/nationwide sit-down restaurants.

    It’s essentially Applebees with pancakes.
     
  44. Beachy Toast

    Beachy Toast He wants you too, Malachi.
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    We got thanked for "giving grace" when we came back.
     
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  45. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    I got a bag of popcorn and a couple tootsie roll’s during teacher appreciation week from our administration
     
  46. WC

    WC Bad Company, ‘til the day I die.
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  47. Doyle McPoyle

    Doyle McPoyle Well-Known Member
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland CavaliersCleveland Indians

    *Applebees with pancakes and this[​IMG]
     
  48. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    Florida GatorsTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Her boss is a very attractive Puerto Rican woman. The only thing I'd be upset about is not getting to watch.
     
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  49. BellottiBold

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  50. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    My hospital did this for Nurses Week, nurses used to get a generic swag bag that had stuff like company logo’d water bottles, lanyards, lunch bags etc. then a couple years back they changed it to a Give Back thing where the hospital took the money they’d usually spend on the Nurses and donated it to a charity the nurses had to vote on. And of course the hospital gets to write off the donation
     
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