A Storm of Swords Book Club Thread

Discussion in 'Game of Thrones (ASOIAF)' started by fried-chicken, May 29, 2012.

  1. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    Point of this thread is that everyone can post their own reactions and read other peoples reactions to chapters in a storm of swords w/o reading any spoilers. Sort of a virtual book club of discussions for every chapter you are on. If this is super faggy please don't hesitate to ridicule me.

    Just quote the OP to start the basic structure of your post, delete the instructions and quotes and fill chapters in as you go with whatever thoughts you have.

    A Storm of Swords:
    Chapters 1-10
    Prologue:
    Jaime 1:
    Catelyn 1:
    Arya 1:
    Tyrion 1:
    Davos 1:
    Sansa 1:
    Jon 1:
    Daenerys I:
    Bran 1:

    Chapters 11-20
    Davos 2:
    Jaime 2:
    Tyrion 2:
    Arya 2:
    Catelyn 2:
    Jon 2:
    Sansa 2:
    Arya 3:
    Samwell 1:
    Tyrion 3:

    Chapters 21-30
    Catelyn 3:
    Jaime 3:
    Arya 4:
    Daenerys 2:
    Bran 2:
    Davos 3:
    Jon 3:
    Daenerys 3:
    Sansa 3:
    Arya 5:
     
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  2. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    A Storm of Swords:
    Chapters 1-10
    Prologue:
    I don't know why but I really don't give a shit about what happens at the wall. IYAM they could have left this whole story out of the books until some shit starts really going down. so chapter summary in a nutshell: book is starting off on about as shitty of a note as is possible with the exception of the rare triple Daeny-Sansa-Catelyn combo. Maybe I am just a woman hater. It's possible I suppose.
    Jaime 1:
    Well Shit, Jaime's out. Robb is gonna shit a brick and Sansa is as good as beheaded. This is a big ass blunder but I am pretty excited for Brienne to hold shit down as she tends to do. She's up there on the badass power rankings. If she would have been born with a dick she'd be a Mountain Tier beast
    Catelyn 1:
    I'm thinking when Robb gets back he might get some pressure to lop his mom's head. It would set a good tone for the level of shit he will tolerate as king. I know he wouldn't do it though but still, might be some people that try to get him to.
    Arya 1:
    Arya's lost again. If she goes another whole book just escaping and then getting captured half a dozen times I will be very unhappy. She's got so many possibilities to have an actual effect on the larger plot lines. I don't really care for the fact that her storyline is just her trying to survive.
    Tyrion 1:
    OHHHHHHHH Snap. Daddy just shitted all over Tyrion. I really half expect the half man to just say "fuck it" one of these days and sell his family out to Robb for like a 30% off card at the Winterfell Whore Emporium. Dude gets no respect for winning that battle.
    Davos 1:
    Not my favorite Davos chapter.
    Sansa 1:
    LOVE that Sansa has a Wet-on for Loras. She was all excited for Joff at first too. how can someone have such awful taste in men. When she went to dinner with the Queen of Thorns I had my first truly enjoyable chapter of the book and I was shocked that it was at the hands of a Sansa chapter. Now I can't stop thinking about who they should cast for her in season 3
    Jon 1:
    Fucking north of the wall. I just can't stand these chapters. King beyond the wall was pretty much exactly as I expected. Some weaselly schemer with a guitar. Someone wake me up when anything useful happens in a Jon chapter.
    Daenerys I:
    What the hell was Jorah thinking trying to mack on the mother of dragons? She's trying to be Queen. Even if she was interested in his nuts (Which she isn't because she's still loose as a goose from Khal Drogo's horse dong) She can't have his ass as a husband because he would kinda be king.
    Bran 1:
    Jesus, when Bran get's this wolf thing down he will probably be one of the more dangerous individuals in the book. I mean, this is a terrifying thought for people who are on his shit list.

    Chapters 11-20
    Davos 2:
    x
    Jaime 2:
    x
    Tyrion 2:
    x
    Arya 2:
    Catelyn 2:
    x
    Jon 2:
    x
    Sansa 2:
    x
    Arya 3:
    x
    Samwell 1:
    x
    Tyrion 3:
    x

    Chapters 21-30
    Catelyn 3:
    x
    Jaime 3:
    x
    Arya 4:
    x
    Daenerys 2:
    x
    Bran 2:
    x
    Davos 3:
    x
    Jon 3:
    x
    Daenerys 3:
    Daenerys is awesome after this chapter. 8600 super slaves 3 dragons and it didn't cost her a dime. I figured she was going to fuck that guy up eventually and really liked the way she did it. I wonder how many average farmers with a sword these dudes could smash 1v4? 1v6? Can't wait for battle I really don't know who's gonna be able to fuck with daeny.
    Sansa 3:
    Best sansa chapter in some time. As I said before, she has the worst taste in men. She gets to marry the Imp and she is pissed about it. More important than the fact that I think tyrion will be a good husband to her (except for obvious infidelity) is the importance that both these people hate Geoffrey with a passion. If Geoff really thinks tyrion is gonna walk his wife to the kings bed for some royal wang, he is very wrong. Speaking of royal wang, the dialogue between tyrion and Geoff after Tyrion threatened the kings royal unit was pretty great. I just liked this chapter so much. This marriage has next level implications on the story's politics. I cannot wait to see if sans ever starts to love Tyrion. I want both of them to escape and T to join the good fight. Robb is probably fucked now though. There is no way he doesn't die now that his death would provide awesome complications.
    Arya 5:
    really want arya to start doing something. I know if she ever gets back to her family they will send her back to somewhere safe and her involvement will go away almost completely. It just seems like since her dad died she has been running then getting caught over and over. Just want to see her start murdering like I know she's capable of.

    Anyway she's in the whore house and I just gotta think one of these whores would help her. If she could find one who isn't a bitch.

    I wonder who the Lanister the huntsman catches at the end. It was kind of a cliff hanger I can't think of who it would be.
     
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  3. NinjaRXA

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  4. The Blackfish

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    Your opinion of Jon's chapters is mind bottling
     
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  5. Houndster

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    I don't understand how one could not like the happenings beyond the Wall.
     
  6. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    I'll try to update up to the point I have read tonight.

    The north has no impact on the main story so far as I can tell. It should be its own separate book or that shit should start to matter. I just gonna start skipping that bullshit until Jon does something that ties in to the main story web. Fuck the wall fuck Jon and fuck castle black.
     
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  7. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    Even when daeny was a million miles away you could see the buildup of a category 5 shit storm that just keeps building every chapter. Jon's just like, "hurmpy dee guard the wall. Hurmpty doo attack some wildlings." etc etc. I should spoiler that because I just perfectly described EVERY Jon chapter.
     
  8. Houndster

    Houndster $25 Standard Unit
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    You're literally too stupid to insult. The series is called A Song of ICE and Fire.
     
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  9. zeberdee

    zeberdee wheel snipe celly boys
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    speechless
     
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  10. Manny

    Manny I love lamp.

    I'm going with a :clap:for a solid troll, because if not may the Others take you.
     
  11. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    I could have skipped every Jon chapter so far and still been completely up to date on the happenings in the rest of the book. He's a waste of my life and I hope he dies by some completely harmless embarrassing shit like a cold or a snow drift. Same with Samwell. Like we actually need 2 dumb bastards clogging up the pipeline to the real story. Fuck Davos too while I'm at it.
     
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  12. zeberdee

    zeberdee wheel snipe celly boys
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    fuck Davos too?

    ok this has to be a troll.
     
  13. Corky Bucek

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    :roll: at this troll
     
  14. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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    just based on this thread alone, woat poster on this board
     
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  15. Guns

    Guns horse paste aficionado
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    Oh holky fuck
     
  16. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    Please, someone make a case for the hundreds of Jon pages included in this series so far.

    Better yet, if someone can just make any connection between Jon's actions up to this point and their impact on, let's say Tyrion or Arya or Daeny, I will double read Jon chapters.

    He's the only character who absolutely 100% not involved in the main story web.

    I'm as much a fan of a badass bastard character as the next guy but none of you can deny Jon is just a worthless page filler so far. He may become very interesting later, I don't know. Currently though he's a terrible character with no storyline.
     
  17. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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    in case you aren't trolling:

    the books began with the first known sighting of the others in thousands of years. don't you think the events beyond the wall will be significant in the end? and as to how he ties into other characters, just read the book moron
     
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  18. Corky Bucek

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    This keeps getting better and better.
     
  19. Guns

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    I wonder if Tyrion or Arya would be affected if The Others and wights got south of the wall
     
  20. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    And when they get significant please wake me up, as I said in the chapter spoiler. I don't have the luxury of knowing what is going to happen but at the moment I'm on team fuck the north.
     
  21. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    I'm sure that will be very interesting when it happens but I don't gives a fuck about it until then. Currently Jon is worthless.
     
  22. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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    obviously the op is some prissy southron faggot. what does he know of the wolfswood, or a heart tree, or the wall? the north is the only kingdom i mean to bend the knee to
     
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  23. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    Bend both knees and show Jon a good time then Jonfag.
     
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  24. zeberdee

    zeberdee wheel snipe celly boys
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    I just punched my monitor. somebody lock this thread before I kill a baby.
     
  25. The Blackfish

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    you'Re reaLly Just missing the big picture
     
  26. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    I've said my thoughts. I'll not speak of this again. I have officially washed my hands of Jon and will not read another Jon chapter until I hear through other characters that some shit is going down at the wall.
     
  27. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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    lol you know nothing
     
  28. zeberdee

    zeberdee wheel snipe celly boys
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  29. Ladd McHonkey

    Ladd McHonkey The next Julian Edelman, obviously.
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    Well, let's imagine just for a second that Jon's story doesn't impact the rest of Westeros, although it certainly does and will, based on a simple understanding of foreshadowing if not it being outright stated in the text.

    Spoilered for those who just started reading the book. Fried Chicken there is nothing in here that you haven't already read.

    A 16ish year old bastard of mysterious noble birth that wargs with a fucking wolf just fucking killed one of his mentors to infiltrate an army of 100,000 wildlings. Through his point of view, we have gotten to meet giants, mance, and maybe some other shit that I'm not sure you've seen yet.
     
  30. The Blackfish

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    I wash my hands of this because it has to be a troll.
     
  31. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    Eh, I was being a little dramatic when I saw the reaction to me being bored during north chapters but I honestly don't care for them.
     
  32. DirtBall

    DirtBall Who Cares?
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    However moronic his stance is, I lost it hard on this comment esp the usage of Jonfag.
     
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  33. Guns

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    Lol skipping chapters
     
  34. Damion

    Damion Fan of: Firing Butch Jones
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    Hey I skipped a couple chapters too every once in a while

    But it was always to read the next Jon chapter
     
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  35. Cronk

    Cronk just living the dream...
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    let the guy read the book and give his thoughts...he is clearly enjoying the book even if he doesn't like the same parts the rest of us does, I bet a lot of us would have had similar thoughts about other characters before we read the 5 books...
     
  36. Aaron Hernandez

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    your opinion is wrong and it upsets me.
     
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  37. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    I updated this thread in the chapters 21-30 section. I don't really feel like going back and figuring out what I was thinking again so I'm just going to start from what I read last night.
     
  38. NinjaRXA

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    what fucking version are you reading where Joffrey is spelled Geoffrey? And did you skip over catelyn's last POV?
     
  39. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    Good friend spells his name Geoff. Just a fuck up while typing.
     
  40. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    last Catelyn chapter I read was:
    Robb dealing with the traitors who killed the Lannister kid.

    I skipped back writing thoughts on all the chapters I finished before I started this thread. I'm not actually planning on skipping reading any chapters I just said that because jonfags were having a meltdown.
     
  41. NCHusker

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    Jon's storyline doesn't really directly impact the other characters by this point but damn its still an interesting plot loop with good characters and storylines. Baffles me how someone could be bored with it. Jon is a fucking boss
     
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  42. Corky Bucek

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    He should just skip the Bran chapters as well since up to this point all he is doing is walking around with Hodor and the Reeds.
     
  43. War Grundle

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    Through the first three books my least favorite POVs were Bran and Sansa.
     
  44. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    Sansa chapters are going to be great now. I hadn't been giving a fuck about them but the last few I have read are interesting.

    Bran does suck but I think he's gonna go wolf mode some shits.
     
  45. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia I was born with the gift of a golden voice
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    Hates Jon, likes Brienne and Sansa

    You are officially Scumbag Bookfag
     
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  46. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    I'm ok with this label although my sansa acceptance is really just excitement about getting a double chapter of her man.
     
  47. Wu

    Wu Cusses a little and falls short of The Creed
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    Not reading a goddamn thing fried-chicken has posted and only reading the e-beating he's receiving doesn't make it any less hilarious.

    You'd probably want ASOIAF to be a color by numbers book.
     
  48. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    I don't care for a character that everyone else loves and I like some characters that everyone hates and I'm the one who likes cookie cutter books? If only I loved what you all love I'd finally be able to break away from color by numbers books.

    Why are you guys so uncontrollably butt hurt by this? I'm honestly curious about why the meltdown was so huge that a baby's life was threatened.

    I was just having some fun with a few of you who went ape shit. But now I'm legitimately wondering what Jon could possibly do in upcoming books to earn the message board white cloaks to jump in his defense when someone doesn't like him. So what, I think Jon chapters are boring.
     
  49. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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    not everyone hates bran/sansa chapters. the fact that you can't see the significance of the events going on at the wall in a series titled a song of ice and fire is what's really stupid
     
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  50. citrodong

    citrodong We're a cold fucking bean team.
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    I know it will be significant when it happens but nothing ever happens. Jon has been at the wall for 17 chapters where I'm at. Think about how much shit Daeny gets done in 17 chapters. Jon hasn't done a god damned thing comparatively.