Family members around the holidays

and kids waters for the entire table.

 

There’s zero chance I would spend another day around these people.

 

Your life is going to get easier when you just have your wife text everyone before the event and assign folks stuff to bring. Everyone has clear rules and there are no unsaid social pas. Being asked to bring something is a lot better than your clear resentment towards them.

 

Well you couldn't be more wrong but I guess you're probably a free loader yourself. We had a great dinner and I was such an asshole that I filled up multiple containers with food for them to take home. Such terrible vibes.

 

I know writing off family is hard but jesus

 

FWIW I don’t think racki is the asshole

 

I didn't think so at first either, but his aversion to making a small change that would completely fix the issue is a bit odd.

 

We see them a total of four or five days a year. My wife is all for cutting them off but it’s her family so I just go along with what she decides.

 

Yeah the guy who has been more than generous through the years is the asshole but not the people who just continually think they can just show up and not even make a courtesy offer to bring something. If this was a one time thing, I wouldn't have posted about it. This is a pattern going on 15 years.

 

You should watch the marble rye Seinfeld episode.

 

I don't think you're an asshole at all. But the point some are trying to make is, if you're going to enable the behavior for 15 years, don't complain about it. If you're going to complain about it, don't enable it.

 

"hey, have you considered doing this super easy thing to alleviate the issue entirely?"

"no thank you, I'd rather be mad for 15 years."

 

Thought that was a reference to someone else saying they hate freeloaders itt or maybe another thread

 

I mean you don't even have to assign shit or straight tell people to bring stuff.
Just send out a simple group text to everyone saying something like 'who all is bringing what dishes? Want to make sure we don't double up on pies...lol'

Then follow up on it a few days before, calling out anyone who hasn't responded. Simple, effective, calls out the freeloaders in front of everyone, you seem like way less of an asshole

 

Yea. I'm sure the follow up text after being sent home with food is just a coincidence

 

Or maybe they realized that my sisters brought food and they came empty handed?

 

Family full of selfish assholes except for the old guy.

 

So this has been going on for 15 years you say?

Again, something a simple group text ahead of time would have made very simple

 

No, we've only been hosting for 3 years. But anytime they host something, they expect us to split the bill. If we host, you guys got this.

 

How does 'splitting the bill' work?
Do they save recipts and yall all venmo each other at the end of the night?

 

For a past cookout, my wife literally went shopping with my SIL and bought half of what was needed.

Last Christmas Eve, my wife and SIL went to the fish market and bought for their own families even though they were hosting. I ended up making the fish at their house.

 

They go to the fish market, buy their own fish, then our boy cooks it all for free. Read the thread if you’re gonna come in hot calling asshole on Racki

 

It’s like some people don’t do the reading

 

You're not an asshole but be more clear about what you want or expect from them and you'll be happier

 

Now THAT is some top-tier passive-aggressiveness.

 

Feel like we’re about to cross over into needing a Posting With TMB Members Around The Holidays thread, where we talk through grievances with each other.

 

I’m bad about asking my brother about sending him money rather than just choosing and sending an amount but Racki’s anger about the text made me just send him $50 instead

 

We do this on December 23rd

 

Can’t wait for the update when Racki finds out that all of this is occurring because his wife continuously offers to bring their own food over to the SIL’s house, and SIL thinks it’s weird but obliges.

 

I’m still laughing at the complaint of an in law using the restroom

 

when you host you have to be prepared to deal with whatever comes but it’s pretty wild to show up at somebody’s house empty handed.

 

What if this is them?

 

My wife’s family is like this. They’ll go grocery shopping and they pay for their own stuff and they’ll just Venmo each other or they might have spent $50 on stuff last time so we pick that up from what they owe this time etc. my family is complete opposite. Whoever hosted bought the majority of the food and others would bring dishes that everyone liked. My uncle does an amazing ham so they’d bring that. Booze is the correct thing to bring to a dinner if they aren’t bringing a dish. And god help them if they take it with them when they leave. Not cool.

 

Page 215 was tremendous.

 

Hell yes, now this is good posting.

I ended up even Wednesday at the Casino and initially lost a bunch real quick at the $15 min Roulette table with my wife while the was at the Kids Club. I didn't want to put in several hundred dollars to ride the wave. I did earn a whole bunch back on one of those insane 4 simultaneous game slot machines after they went to bed.

 

Maybe Mom cracked a whip to keep the peace? That's always a relief.

 

Everyone went around the room and said what they were thankful for and my wife's uncle said he was thankful for his post-election 401k.

 

we'll see how fuckin thankful he is in the coming years

 

Politics aside saying you’re thankful for your 401k is some real nerd shit. I would’ve excused myself like I needed to go to the kitchen then snuck up behind him and given him a wedgie