So You Have A Daughter....

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Celemo, Feb 11, 2016.

  1. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    Kind of an offshoot of the Dad's thread...just told this story in the RTT and thought a separate thread where us dads of girls can share our tales of woe...


    My daughter just turned 10, part of her weekly homework is to read a certain amount of minutes per week. The other night she asked if she could do her read time in my bedroom with me while I was drinking beers & playing Madden. I said sure and continued with my game, after a couple minutes the following exchange occurred;

    K: Daddy, what does B-R-E-A-S-T spell?
    Me: Breast
    K: What is that?
    Me: Your Boobies
    K: hehehehe Boobies heheheheh
    K: What does A-R-E-O-L-A spell?
    Me: Sweet Christmas!! what in the hell are you reading?

    She proceeded to show me that she's reading her puberty book "Your body & You"...or something along those lines. She then proceeded to read aloud about the different stages of breast development and wanted my opinion on what stage I thought she was in. I don't want to shame her about her development or her reading...so I told her that she should take that stuff to mom...and spent the rest of the night quivering
     
  2. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Dad, what is a c-r-e-a-m-p-i-e?
     
  3. The Great Pumpkin

    The Great Pumpkin The Next Portugese Prodigy
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    My daughter just turned one and that story has officially ruined my night.
     
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  4. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse She came up and asked if I wanted a Big Mac.
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  5. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
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    I have a 5 year old, 2 year old and 3 month old, all girls, fuck your story Celemo
     
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  6. Jake Barnes

    Jake Barnes LOOK AT THAT LASER!!!
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    Not sure I could ever use the word "boobies" in a conversation with my daughter, but yeah, that's an awkward situation.
     
  7. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    it was either that or "tits" :idk: I just blurted out the safest term I could think of
     
  8. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    Like I said it the RTT it's nice to not have to worry about that type of deal because my daughter is going to stay little and sweet and innocent forever

    [​IMG]
     
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  9. You and You

    You and You Well-Known Member
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    I just hope my daughters turn out to be Lesbians
     
  10. Fuzzy Zoeller

    Fuzzy Zoeller College football > NFL

    I have a son that's about to turn 3 and another that's 4 months old. TMB arrainged marriage?
     
  11. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci yello
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    does she like One Direction?
     
  12. Fuzzy Zoeller

    Fuzzy Zoeller College football > NFL

    Same.
     
  13. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    I think she knows some of their songs but she mostly listens to stuff like Queen, Passion Pit, Vampire Weekend, and Katy Perry
     
  14. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Oh yeah?

    Well, my 4 year old strums his dick like a guitar when he's getting out of the bathtub
     
  15. Lefthook

    Lefthook token Oregon State fan
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    god dammit Celemo



    7 year old daughter here
     
  16. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    But seriously, my daughter knows not to ask me any shit like that. I'll take the twig and berry questions... Mom can answer the rest
     
    -Asshole- likes this.
  17. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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    What I really want to know is did you keep playing your game, pause your game, or turn the machine off to have a talk? Celemo
     
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  18. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    You are one sick son of a bitch
     
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  19. -Asshole-

    -Asshole- TMB OG Reject
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    Father of twin 2.5 year old girls checking in here.
     
  20. Jax Teller

    Jax Teller Well-Known Member
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    My best friend has 12 year old, 11 year old and 3 year old girls. He feels your pain.
     
  21. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    I'm playing a season of Madden '95 on an old plug-n-play so I kept playing until I asked what book she was reading. After she showed me, I un-paused and just tried to get through the game as she asked me her questions
     
  22. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    Meatball calls his dick his "peanut" and he refers to his testicles as his "peanut balls"
     
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  23. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Celemo: what were you reading?!

    Daughter: your browsing history.
     
    #23 wes tegg, Feb 11, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2016
  24. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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    Madden 95? :laugh:
     
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  25. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    it's 16 bit retro fucking awesomeness...Playing with the Broncos right now and Elway is just a beast
     
  26. Mitch Cumstein

    Mitch Cumstein yells at cloud
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    my daughter turns 13 in a couple months. She has a mix of friends. I do not approve of the direction some of them are headed.
     
  27. Nole0515

    Nole0515 Well-Known Member
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    I have no children that I know of. Thank god
     
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  28. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode dankest memes around
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  29. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    Just think...only five or six years away from this

    [​IMG]
     
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  30. 47 straight

    47 straight In Russ We Trust
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    Ragnar Lothbrok Look how stupid Jessica is. Still on the internet rotation
     
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  31. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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  32. hoebekec

    hoebekec Fan of: Michigan State and all Detroit pro sports
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    So glad I have a son. I only have to worry about where one penis goes, not ALL of the penises.
     
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  33. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    They go in EdmondDantes mom.
     
    #33 wes tegg, Feb 11, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2016
  34. jaygabriel

    jaygabriel What the fuck Salami?!?!
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    Daughters aged 3 & 6 here. I've been nervous as hell for 6.75 years, and it won't end for another 20.
     
  35. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    reading the thread title...

    [​IMG]
     
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  36. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
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    Two sons over here.

    Even if they end up being power bottoms it will be less stressful than raising daughters.
     
  37. SP1

    SP1 Ball State #1
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    So how many dad threads are there going to be now?

    Asking for a friend, who is a dick.
     
  38. Nemesis05

    Nemesis05 Well-Known Member
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    I have a 4 yr old and 2 yr old daughters...this story has me like "FFFUUUUUCCCKKKKKK"
     
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  39. zachary

    zachary <3
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    lol damn that fucking sucks
     
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  40. devine

    devine Make Devine A Mod Again
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    Why hasn't boomfer showed up to brag yet
     
  41. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Lost.
     
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  42. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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  43. HotMic

    HotMic Mr So-and-So
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    We are the same

    :gays:
     
  44. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    well unlucky for them power bottoms run in their family specifically on their fathers side of the family more specifically their father
     
  45. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
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    Actually it's fucking awesome. Congrats on posting on a Ross level
     
  46. RoyalShocker

    RoyalShocker But I don't wanna be a Nazi
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    "Papa, I was 'mirin a nice older man on Tinder (don't worry, he didn't post any mirror selfies- just pics of him showing off his guns in a tanktop on a quad)... He asked me for his number so I gave it to him! We are going to hang out Friday night, I hope you don't mind.

    PS: What does :D ------ ()=========8 mean?!?"
     
  47. Duck70

    Duck70 Let's just do it and be legends, man
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    Oh, well in that case tell her that boobies are those things on Katy Perry that never stop jiggling
     
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  48. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    West Canaan Worked up
     
  49. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci yello
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    cliffs?
     
  50. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    He had a meltdown on people w/o kids because they were playing the game of life with half of it on lock.
     
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  51. Boar Skarloff

    Boar Skarloff Standin up fuckin in a hammock

    First daughter will be here in three months. Dammit.
     
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