Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    i had the wendy's fish sandwich a few weeks ago, it wasn't hateful.
     
  2. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Wife made dog frozen custard
     
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  3. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Take it easy on him. No need to rub his nose in it.
     
  4. skiedfrillet

    skiedfrillet It's not a lie if you believe it.
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    so here i am, nearly 20 years later, realizing that lyric meant "fucking" and not the literal "pissing"
     
  5. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
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    what

    it means drinking
     
  6. TDCD

    TDCD Handling the Fisher account
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  7. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
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  8. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
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    oh no fried

    oh no
     
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  9. skiedfrillet

    skiedfrillet It's not a lie if you believe it.
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    WELL HERE I AM

    LOOKING DUMB AGAIN
     
  10. skiedfrillet

    skiedfrillet It's not a lie if you believe it.
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    Clemson Tigers

  11. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    :roll: Jesus "titty fucking" Christ
     
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  12. Degausser

    Degausser #NewProfilePic
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    fify
     
  13. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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  14. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Wife was mad bc i forgot she was going to be late for work stuff and called asking her where the heck she was and started complaining that I don't listen to her.

    Me: You didnt remind me
    Her: I always tell you when im doing something
    Me: When did tell me?
    Her: Friday night
    Me: After the KU game on St. Pats where i ended up getting a ride home?
    Her: Yeah
    Me: Have reminded me since?
    Her: No, why?
    Me: So you told me the one time ive been intoxicated in the last 5 weeks and its my fault ?
    Her: You're the one whose mad
    Me: :bang:
     
    #2565 Homo Erectus, Mar 22, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2017
  15. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    Do you really talk like this?
     
  16. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    Despite its Homo sapiens-like anatomy, the Homo Erectus may not have been capable of producing sounds comparable to modern human speech. It likely communicated in a proto-language lacking the fully developed structure of modern human language but more developed than the non-verbal communication used by chimpanzees.[65]
     
  17. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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    Pissing=fucking=sucking=c.ucking
     
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  18. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Homo Erectus smash Baron
     
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  19. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    you're guilty
     
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  20. Sticky

    Sticky Well-Known Member
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    If you're too drunk to remember what someone tells you, important or not, it is your fault. I say this as a person who gets drunk too often and forgets when people tell him things.
     
  21. Taffy

    Taffy Token Brit poster
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    "Pissing it away" means using your time and/or money drinking alcohol.
     
  22. jaimej

    jaimej Not OZ
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    Sounds like you need to drink more IMO.
     
  23. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    I had viral infection and went to the doctor who told me i couldn't drink for a month bc i had a high liver marker level.

    Telling me something the one time I was drunk in ages was dumb on her part.
     
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  24. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    every year after my annual physical, my labs come back with "increased liver function"
    Doc always says its no big deal cause he knows I drink beer :feelsgoodman:
     
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  25. lhprop1

    lhprop1 Fullsterkur
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    As does the phrase, "on the piss".
    As opposed to "taking the piss", which is the equivalent of "giving you shit" here in America.

    You Brits and your silly lingo. Torches, lorrys, and gardens/yards are silly, but you really have an obsession with piss.
     
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  26. boone

    boone Destination Unknown
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    "on the piss" literally means piss drinking.
     
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  27. Taffy

    Taffy Token Brit poster
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    Fun facts brought to you by the skiedfrillet school of foreign language
     
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  28. lhprop1

    lhprop1 Fullsterkur
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    No. It doesn't.

    Brilliant insight, as usual, Boone. You're clearly a knob end who knows fuck all.
     
    #2579 lhprop1, Mar 23, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2017
  29. skiedfrillet

    skiedfrillet It's not a lie if you believe it.
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    [​IMG]
     
  30. boone

    boone Destination Unknown
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    it was a joke but . . .ok.
     
  31. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
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    boone is clearly a wankah
     
  32. Savage Rob Chubb

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    So this girl has completely lost her mind. She's been saying weird shit like this to people for the past several months. It's pretty sad and she needs help.

    Girl:


    Yo yo! The whole neighbor comment...whatcha mean by that?

    Me:

    What?

    Once again I have no idea what you're talking about.

    Girl:

    I have my texts saved I just have to remember my password. You said that like a week ago

    Me:

    Said what like a week ago?

    Girl:

    I wouldn't worry about your neighbors too much

    My neighbors in Clt or Atl?

    Me:

    I don’t even know the context of this at all. I don’t remember saying that.

    Girl:

    I'm not accusing you of anything. You can be honest with me

    Promise

    Me:

    I have no idea what you’re talking about.

    Girl:

    Why do people bring up tracking and why have people been stalking me?

    Me:

    Sarah, no one is stalking you.

    Girl:

    You're wrong actually
     
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  33. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    oh man that was a great joke, boone
     
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  34. boone

    boone Destination Unknown
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    IKNORITE?>
     
  35. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 He should keep his mouth firmly shut
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    Go to Chick-fil-A for fucks sake
     
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  36. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
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    i do
     
  37. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
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    Wolfsburg

    what is different about gardens/yards?
     
  38. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 He should keep his mouth firmly shut
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    [​IMG]
     
  39. Savage Rob Chubb

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  40. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    That or not be such a pussy that you forget everything when you do...
     
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  41. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    She could be bipolar. Shit is for real.
     
  42. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    That's what my Ramsey looked like as a kitten. D'awwwwwww
     
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  43. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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  44. boone

    boone Destination Unknown
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    biggest one here.
     
  45. Wu

    Wu Nope.
    TMB OG

    ...

    Run.
     
  46. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    [​IMG]
     
  47. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    Eh. There's a number of ways that could have gone. She 'told him' when he wasn't really listening or she didn't actually tell him but knew he was drunk that night and she could say she did. I can think of lots of drunken nights where people mention inconsequential shit in passing that doesn't register and retain
     
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  48. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Wife backed into an Audi A8 today, completely smashed their rear light assembly on one side. She waited about 30 minutes in the parking lot but the owner never showed. Left her info on a note on the car.

    She said the backup sensor didn't alert her. I told her who gives a fuck, that is what mirrors are for and hers are working fine.

    Really hoping the wind blew that note away or they figure it is not worth the hassle.

    Fuck.
     
    #2599 a.tramp, Mar 23, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2017
  49. TDCD

    TDCD Handling the Fisher account
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    paranoid schizophrenia

    is she between 18-25?
     
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