Annoying/Cringeworthy things your co-workers do....

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Steve Championship, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
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    Here we post shit that coworkers do that annoys the piss out of us, or is just plain douchey.

    I have two coworkers that do annoying things.

    One is "youtube guy". He's the guy who finds videos that he thinks are funny, pulls them up on his phone, then comes over to show them to you, on his phone, and stands there holding it in front of your face so you're forced to watch the whole thing, with a fake smile, acting like you're interested. And you guessed it, this fag is an Android user.

    Another still quotes Cartman in Cartman voice rather often. Such as when he leaves for the day "Screw you guys, I'm going home" in Cartman Voice... or when someone isn't doing something he wants them to do "Respect my authoritah!!" in Cartman voice... he thinks he's hilarious.
     
  2. Pelican

    Pelican COOL huh
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    I hate the "YouTube guys."

    It's so awkward to be nice and keep watching when you really want to tell them "Go away. This isn't funny."
     
  3. Pelican

    Pelican COOL huh
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    I also hate it when YouTube guy shows you something "funny" that is clearly fake. Yet he has no idea that it's staged or whatever.
     
    #3 Pelican, Jul 17, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2016
  4. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
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    Yeah, Youtube guys almost always have zero self-awareness.
    It's pretty accurate to say the type of person who needs to show you a video on his phone has a terrible sense of humor and is probably stupid as fuck. I base this on my own experience, having not been able to remember a time someone physically showed me a video I enjoyed on their phone.
    The people who do understand what is funny/fake/interesting are more the type to just shoot you an email or text with a link to the video.
     
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  5. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Boom... head shot.
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    Tell me in a lighthearted conversation about how their dad or spouse is an alcoholic. It is really uncomfortable and it happened twice this week.
     
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  6. og543ss

    og543ss ready to party? by party I mean smoke cigarettes
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    never shut the fuck up ever
     
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  7. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
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    Jesus, Such a look-at-me move.
     
  8. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
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    I always tell them it's fake to ruin it for them.
     
  9. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Boom... head shot.
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    They both fit if into stories that didn't need it as a way to punch up the comedy. It didn't make it funnier. Now I feel bad for them.
     
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  10. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint Drunk as an uncle in a Walmart parking lot
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    The chick next to me sounds like Kermit the Frog. That gets real old.
     
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  11. The Milkman

    The Milkman Send lawyers, guns and money, shit has hit the fan

    I had a guy come to my office today and show me a stand up but of some Mexican comedian today. Fuck these people in the worst manner possible. Artificially laughing at something makes me cringe
     
  12. Pancho

    Pancho Former user Poster Nutbag's dog
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    One of the worst is Fox News meme guy.

    In what world is "They'll build a fence around the White House, but they won't build a fence around this country," funny?
     
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  13. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    From the corporate speak thread:

     
  14. Rebelution

    Rebelution I'm not superstitious but I am a little stitious.
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    If we have exchanged phone calls and both missed each other, when we do finally get on the phone don't say, "Gosh, I guess we've been playing phone tag."
     
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  15. TYdeFan05

    TYdeFan05 gOATS™
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    I work with constant dadjoke/pun guy. He needs to disappear.

    Example: what continent are you on when you're in the bathroom? European.

    He's only 28.
     
  16. dtx

    dtx Mike 2020
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    talk to me
     
  17. HotMic

    HotMic Mr So-and-So
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    One of my coworkers still finds "scUM" and other lame Michigan jokes funny.

    He's the guy that would crack up at something like this...

    [​IMG]

    ....for like 5 mins.
     
  18. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci yello
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    ...
     
    #18 Joe_Pesci, Jul 17, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2015
  19. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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    I'm dying lmao
     
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  20. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
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    Well lets see, my job involves being the resident sports expert at the school so I get every teacher, secretary, custodian (most of those guys are cool though) and security guard who has a thought about a team or a game in my office just to "chat".

    One, I don't give a shit about the Ravens, Redskins, O's, Nats, Wizards or Terps. I'm from Michigan. You can tell that by the huge M flag on my wall and the fact that I remind everyone that I'M NOT FUCKING FROM MARYLAND. So when you can't believe that Dan Snyder fired another coach or you're super stoked about the streak the O's are on can you talk about it with someone who might give a fuck?

    Second, if you ask my thoughts on something athletic related, presumably because you correctly think that I have a lot of knowledge on the subject, don't fucking argue with me when I tell you what I think. Yes John Harbaugh is a good coach. No, I don't think that call on 3rd and short proves otherwise. If you think it does that's cool. You're a moron, but that's ok. Just don't involve me.

    And lastly, if you're going to come in my office and tell me all the things wrong with your kid's youth league coach, you gotta understand that I know that you don't know shit. I have no idea if the coach is good or bad, but I fucking know that you would be the worst Little League coach in the history of the world so don't come in my office to bitch about it. That guy sacked up and volunteered his time, you're an asshole who does nothing but complain, mostly because your kid fucking sucks.
     
  21. RoyalShocker

    RoyalShocker But I don't wanna be a Nazi
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    This one guy in my office is a real piece of work. He got jealous of some guy on the Internet, found some dirt on the guy, and then called his place of employment and got him fired. He even identified himself as a detective
     
  22. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Knock on wood if you are with me
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    A few years ago a former coworker that was in a cube by me used to heat up salmon every Friday morning for breakfast. It smelled fucking nasty and forced myself and a few others to either waste time around the office or work in a conference room somewhere else for a few hours.
     
  23. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    My Father In Law is YouTubeguy.

    I have a coworker that every sentence he speaks to you contains some variation of buddy/guy/dude with a smattering of awesome/totally/you're-so-right. So basically anything you say garners a:

    "You're so right dude. Totaly. Thanks Bud, you're awesome."
     
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  24. JeremyLambsFace

    JeremyLambsFace For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    I start getting phone calls at 5:30 am on my personal cell and I don't go in until 9:00am usually. I fucking hate this.
     
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  25. CraigAnne Conway

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    wow.
    Who the fuck eats salmon for breakfast?
     
  26. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
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    Oh, I forgot to mention, Youtube Android guy wears carpenter jeans on casual fridays.
     
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  27. The Banks

    The Banks TMB's Alaskan
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    What are carpenter jeans?
     
  28. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Knock on wood if you are with me
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    Some African American lady that was originally from NYC who said it was a tradition that her mom passed down.
     
  29. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    :jew:
     
  30. Shiggityshwo

    Shiggityshwo Well-Known Member
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    The coworker who consistently asks if I saw the latest selfies another coworker posted, joking about how gay they are, yet he won't stop following on Instagram or Facebook. I'm out of ways to say "no I didn't see them and I don't give a shit."
     
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  31. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
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    [​IMG]
     
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  32. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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  33. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    We have people who use the word retarded all of the time. One of our employees has an autistic kid.
     
  34. Trofie

    Trofie Well-Known Member
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    I work with a couple YouTube guys. By far the worst. Also have the guy who asks something he should know. You answer and he spazzes out saying "ya I know" and walks out of the room upset.
     
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  35. JohnLocke

    JohnLocke Terminally Chill
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    I have a chick that works with me that's wiccan. Work in an old building so she tells me about how many ghosts are in there and what there names are and whatnot. Gives me the heebie jeebies

    You wouldn't be able to tell it from the looks of her either. About as normal looking as you can get and super smart
     
  36. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Boom... head shot.
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    He needs a place to stick his hammer?
     
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  37. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
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    Never seen him with a hammer.
    THAT IS HOW MUCH HE SUCKS
     
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  38. milquetoast

    milquetoast I hate grapes
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    Had a secretary that would go for a 20 minute run on her break, come back and change back into her work clothes in the supply closet. In lieu of a shower, she'd soak herself in some cheap ass vanilla body spray from Bath and Fuckin Body Works and walk around the office in her bare feet. I don't have a lot of pet peeves, but she hit on two at the same time. I hate strong perfume, specifically shitty ones, and the barefoot in the office after your run...that's fucking repulsive. I finally let loose a couple of months ago when I walked into the outer office and told her we'll never have bugs in this office because you spray that disgusting shit everywhere.

    I had her moved to another location because I couldn't look at her anymore without swallowing my own vomit. The closet still smells like shitty vanilla.
     
  39. milquetoast

    milquetoast I hate grapes
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    I also hate the spanish receptionist that has to say hello every time I walk past her, which is at least five times a day.

    "Hell-o meesta Milk-a-toast-a.."
    Yeah hi...

    Ten minutes later..
    "Hell-o meesta Milk-a-toast-a.."

    We JUST fucking did this, what the fuck is wrong with you?
     
  40. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
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    I'm convinced vanilla is the worst scent available for cologne/perfume/air freshner/etc
     
  41. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Microwave fish in the break room for too long and not clean up the mess

    Not push in the chairs at the break room table

    Leave lights on 24/7
     
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  42. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci yello
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    that sounds more like engrish to me
     
  43. milquetoast

    milquetoast I hate grapes
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    I don't miss those days at all. Goddamn parent pop-ins to discuss their views on a state championship-winning coach were dwarfed only by the language arts teacher who wanted to complain about a third string defensive tackle that had the audacity to put his head down during your reading of MacBeth.

    "He shouldn't play Friday night if he doesn't do his work."

    "He will play and maybe if you took the time to know him you'd know he probably slept in his dad's car last night because they were evicted over the weekend."

    I miss being an AD because of the kids...it was the parents that made it miserable.
     
  44. RoyalShocker

    RoyalShocker But I don't wanna be a Nazi
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    It's crazy because this all happens inside of ATL's head and it still drives him nuts.
     
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  45. buckwild

    buckwild #BucketsGetsBuckets
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    This is by far the best post in this thread even if nobody else can relate to it. That would be incredible.
     
  46. Lenin

    Lenin sometimes you need to break a few eggs
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    Your avatar makes sense now...
     
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  47. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Thought you said she believes in ghosts

    Yeah I work with people who say gay and retarded all the time and lock their car doors in front of people selling street papers. I try to bring my lunch to save money and get some reading done but it is also nice not tagging along with my terrible office mates
     
  48. H/T

    H/T Top 3 Swansea City AFC Poster
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    I have a few of these unfortunately. When someone walks in my office can tell I'm either stressed and in the middle of something or just straight slammed. They walk in and say well looks like you're having a fun day, must be busy. I respond, yeah crap day pretty busy.

    They then sit fucking down and start talking about non work related shit or something that I truly don't care about. I told you I'm busy, you told me I'm busy and now you want to fucking chat you twat? Fuck yourself.
     
  49. Cooler

    Cooler A mans gotta eat
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    The guy that memorizes a thesaurus when he goes home so he can sound smart at work. Everyone knows you are dumb, you fuck.
     
  50. prerecordedlive

    prerecordedlive Matthew Gertz is my real Congressman
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    I share a thermostat with some lady that has a cyst on her brain that causes her to not feel temperatures. So I don't ask before I change it a few degrees to make my office more habitable. Occasionally, I'll walk by it and it'll be on an extreme temperature (85, 59, you name it). No one else has access to it but the two of us. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO SMOKE ME OUT, DENISE? GOD DAMN.