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Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Steve Championship, Jul 17, 2015.
-Remember when Eric The Viking used to start every post like this and it got everyone on tilt
-I do now
percent 25? How many that is!
- Once upon a time. Started doing that to mock Chad Simmons, who typed that way when he started...and then I just kept doing it, inexplicably. Good times.
Well then he should fuck right off.
I have a employee who anytime you tell him he did something wrong or when he fucks up he cry’s. Like bawling like a toddler. Everyone of his peers has tried to get him to change departments, but he won’t because he’s protected by the union and what he’s messed up continually doesn’t meet corporate/union contract threshold for reprimand.
There a mental health angle HR can play?
Not sure on that. He doesn’t need the job and is no where near the breadwinner in the family since his wife is the big name Veterinarian in the area.
How old is this man-child and how has he not quit out of embarrassment?
Sounds like a glorified secretary to me
Post needs a trigger warning for secondhand embarrassment
Sounds like he’s very passionate about his job. You’d be lucky to have more guys like him.
We're moving a bunch of shit to our new yard at a new location in rented box trucks with liftgates on them. One of my coworkers didnt know wtf he was doing and the liftgate wasn't in the proper position to lift up into place for "travel mode." Instead of asking for help, he just held the up button until the aluminum gate was being smashed into the steel frame of the truck by the hydraulic system that makes the gate go up and down. This thing has a lift capacity of like 1000+ lbs. Welp, it turns out steel is harder than aluminum.
Again the truck is a rental, and it has about 800 miles on it so it's basically brand new. So good luck with "it came that way"
I meant to get a better picture but this crease is about an inch and a half long
the guy I share an office with, Crazy Larry, is usually good for a daily rant. Usually it's about hospital leadership or things that co-workers do that annoy him. Today's rant was epic. I was talking to him about a mutual friend who has a nephew who has autism. The kid lives or dies on every 49ers football game. Apparently after their loss in the playoffs last year the poor kid freaked out and trashed a spare bedroom Motley Crue style. This year I was over watching the SB with them and watching him watch the game was pretty intense. Every yard gained by SF was a joyous celebration, every negative play took probably 2 days off his life on the back end. Towards the end of the game I left before it went final because I didn't want to witness the impending meltdown. Turns out the kid crouched behind a chair in their sitting room for like 30 minutes not wanting to move or talk
Anyways as I'm telling Crazy Larry the story, he starts shaking his head at me and then goes on a rant about how "Special Needs" is bullshit. Its a term used by lazy parents who are unwilling to discipline their unruly children, enabling/excusing bad behavior, blah blah blah
I was amazed, simultaneously horrified, and kinda not surprised he feels this way
lol, autism can be cured with the rod. What a fucking take. I can see boomers bitching about "emotional support animals" and other low hanging fruit, but straight up autism being the fault of lazy parents is a diseased boomer brain take.
How would your company feel about posting unredacted license plates of employees of your company?
you should tell him about your friend Mongo, that you got released from his cage and got him a lease tied to a clothesline so he can run back and forth. Really helps him get out all that energy, that goofy bastard
It's a rental with an Indiana plate, smart guy
It’s too late Joe I’ve already started acting creepy
the funny thing is his own son apparently teaches special needs children
Lol I bet he's got a great relationship with his kids.
his kid went to UO with the intent to get into sports broadcasting and participated on some shitty podcast...kid gave it up to work with Special Needs kids after college
Big meeting and this dude puts his cell phone in his shirt pocket and in the process turned on the flashlight. His chest is facing one way and his head is turned to 3’clock watching the presentation and pivoting his chair back and forth, obliviously distracting a large portion of the room.
No one wanted to interrupt the presentation so it went on for a while while people were unsuccessfully trying to get his attention and get him to turn it off. It was quite entertaining for myself and the rest of the cool kids on the back row watching it all play out.
Glad the new job is bringing you joy
I will never forgot a conference call we had a few years ago. We had a salesman skype in trying to sell us on a new software, so it involved him screen sharing on our large meeting room monitor. Of course he's a boomer and was getting a new spam email notification every few seconds. But at some point he got a notification from Facebook messenger from a pretty blonde woman and all the message said was "sorry Scott, but I'm not interested in a relationship right now." He quickly closed it but it was up long enough for us all to stare and laugh. The poor guy lost focus and stuttered through the rest of his presentation. Needless to say, we didn't buy the software.
Double whammy for Scott
our firm is moving everything over to the cloud. As expected, everyone over the age of 50 is having an absolute meltdown over the change. Therefore, we are having mandatory conference calls to help the transition. Just had a 5+ minute delay because someone put the call on hold but didn't mute their mic. I hate everyone.
I get to start my morning with Coronavirus conspiracies so that's fun and not annoying at all.
You mean like how we poisoned them to strong arm a trade deal?
i like the one that the chinese government did it for population control. "Those people just don't respect the human life"
I don’t think those people understand how many people there are in China. 600 dead isn’t even a rounding error.
I read it’s because the Chinese eat bats and armadillos
Co-worker has this faux laryngitis, it’s bizarre. She does this whisper hoarse talking that is very odd and seems embellished if not totally fabricated. She said the doctor told her, her voice would be like that for 4 MONTHS. Colleague informed her that whispering actually puts more strain on your vocal cords to which she had no response.
Other verbal ticks include; Extremely nervous and obnoxious laughter after almost everything regardless of context or humor. e.g. “I’ll make sure to print multiple copies” chipmunk laughter ensues.
And repeating “yup” up to 5-6 times in agreeance with anything a co-worker says.
It’s like a mild Tourette’s and I feel for her because she really is a nice lady but she’s not very good at her job and damn that shit can be annoying. Also she’s a boomer.
I feel like an asshole after typing all that out. She’s also fucked up some HR paper work that has caused lapses in my insurance coverage and some other stuff due to her general ineptitude.
My coworkers feel a migraine coming on when they want to go home
Co workers whine about working to much then whine about being off or sent home early...
Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is somehow involved.
what about Trump did it because he's pissed off that China stole yeti cup technology
there's an old lady in our office who handles billing errors so occasionally she calls me about one of my accounts when there's a problem. She's long winded and any conversation with her takes at minimum 10 minutes. Anyways, i made a joke about how I avoid her calls to one of the other credit managers and I'm fairly certain I was on speaker and she overheard me. Because now she only emails me and is super polite and concise. I feel bad because she's a sweet lady, but it was information she probably needed to hear.
That sounds like a win-win-win
One of my old bosses called it headaching-up when Jane had to go home after lunch.
Multiply it by 100 and it still doesnt even make a dent.
There is a lady who works at our office who wont stop coming in my office and just trying to chat with my office mate and I. Like non stop and about nothing and has no social cues that we are working or busy. She is about 10-15 years older than us if I had to guess, has nothing really in common with us, but my office mate I guess is the only one who engages her because she is too nice to tell her to leave or ignore her. It got so bad one day I kept a sticky note next to my desk to count how many times she came in and it got to double digits. We tried to stop it by shutting our door and it doesnt stop her much, she just knocks, comes in and starts chatting it up. Today I was prepping for an exam I had in 30 minutes and about 5 people were in our office and I basically told everyone I was working on something and could they take the conversation elsewhere. Everyone else got the point, she got up with the others and said she would shut the door for us, BUT SHE FUCKING TRIED TO SHUT THE DOOR AND STAY IN THE OFFICE WITH US instead of leaving with everyone else. She also hounds our office everyday at lunch time to see if we leave and then she'll invite herself to lunch with us. She is driving me fucking nuts and I cant get away from her. I dont know what to do anymore
Fight her in the parking lot
Have sex with her
Have disappointing sex with her
Disappoint her by trying to have sex with her when she wanted a completely platonic friendship.
Have sex with yourself when she comes in
I disavow unwanted workplace sexual contact, for the record.