Harry Potter Thread: Where JK Rowling and Dolores Umbridge are the same person

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Hank Scorpio, Jun 7, 2010.

  1. PeterGriffin

    PeterGriffin Iced and/or sweet tea is for dirty rednecks.
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    I’d say those are corporate fics, monetary profit being the only concern. No one involved in those was obviously a fan.
     
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  2. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Same way they did 50 shades of gray which started out as twilight fan fic.
     
  3. CoastalOrange

    CoastalOrange Well-Known Member
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    I'm listening.
     
  4. PeterGriffin

    PeterGriffin Iced and/or sweet tea is for dirty rednecks.
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    I think peak entry fanfic for me is some of the more humorous ones like Seventh Horcrux (Harry is taken over by Voldemort via the Horcrux, and he’s utterly bonkers) or A Black Comedy (Harry and Sirius wake up in an alternate universe where James and Lily didn’t die, Voldemort more or less doesn’t matter, the pair just get up to goofy adventures and pranks).

    One that is slightly less ridiculous, under the radar, but still funny at parts is Harry Potter and the Lady Thief (Hermione is accused early in school of stealing Pansy’s necklace I think; she’s not believed because she’s muggleborn and is expelled from school. Mundungus takes her under his wing and she grows gradually into a master thief to get payback on the purebloods who fucked her life up, while Harry graduates and becomes the Auror trying to catch her). Starfox5 is one of the most recognized authors for the Harry/Hermione ship, which I prefer so long as Hermione isn’t completely watered down to not have any of her canon flaws.

    Some that I haven’t read for one reason or another that are in every recommendation thread include All the Young Dudes (Marauders), Prince of Slytherin (the Wrong-Boy-Who-Lived trope, Harry’s twin is declared the Boy Who Lived as a smokescreen, and is a douche), the Alexandra Quick series and A Long Journey Home (Harry is a girl trope).

    That’s a fine starting point for now.
     
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  5. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    I’ll be honest none of those sound interesting
     
  6. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Everyone knows Starfox4 is better anyway
     
  7. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    I’ll stick to my Home Improvement fan fic
     
  8. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    Clown Baby actually did some interesting Ghostbro fan fic with Nearly Headless Nick
     
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  9. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    Going to write one about Nearly Dickless Snakes
     
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  10. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    Will read
     
  11. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    “He couldn’t get his mind off of them all day long. He knew it was wrong but he also knew it was inevitable. He snuck through the hallways under the cloak he stole from Harry. He finally made it to the room. “Alohamora” he said. He snuck inside and found what he was looking for. He found the biggest blast ended strewt and slowly began unzipping his pants”
     
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  12. Drown ‘Em

    Drown ‘Em The Candy Man
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    I had always wondered how he kept repairing it. Never once considered magic. I think you’re on to something.
     
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  13. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    Unfortunately after the sexual encounter with a blast ended skrewt ended in a predictable fashion, the first person on the scene to provide aid was Gilderoy Lockhart
     
  14. PeterGriffin

    PeterGriffin Iced and/or sweet tea is for dirty rednecks.
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    Fair. Highly depends on what interests you. Canon compliance bores me so sometimes off the rails shit with massive world building or time travel to mix it up. There’s another called A Second Chance at Life where Voldemort hired muggle assassins to kill Harry to circumvent the wards on the Dursleys. Harry escapes, goes to a dangerous hidden wizarding school in Canada that’ll teach him anything with no restrictions like blood magic rune carving, no restrictions on classmate creature type (vampires, werewolves, fae, whatthefuckever).

    The right direction? Harry ends up more Gray in that, but there’s obviously also tons of Harry goes Dark and becomes his own little Dark Lord. Trust that there’s pretty much something for any “what if” you’ve ever had for the canon series.
     
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  15. Nostradumass

    Nostradumass Well-Known Member
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    Spinner's End was a great title for that chapter in HBP, because Snape was spinning a wild web of lies to explain his actions in books 1-4
     
    #5316 Nostradumass, Mar 1, 2024
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2024
  16. NCHusker

    NCHusker We named our yam Pam. It rhymed.
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    I don't even think Snape was lying about his actions in books 1 through 4. He flipped sides to Dumbledore after Voldemort died, had no reason to know that Voldemort was hitchhiking on Quirrel's dome, and had to get directed by Dumbledore to go back to Voldy after book 4. Everything he said in his explanation was true with the exception being that he was actually loyal to Dumbledore
     
  17. Nostradumass

    Nostradumass Well-Known Member
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    Yeah that's fair
     
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  18. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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  19. PeterGriffin

    PeterGriffin Iced and/or sweet tea is for dirty rednecks.
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    Fuck Hufflepuff
     
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  20. Fusiontegra

    Fusiontegra My life is dope and I do dope shit.#SparedByThanos
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    This is too strong of a take for a house that boring.
     
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  21. PeterGriffin

    PeterGriffin Iced and/or sweet tea is for dirty rednecks.
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    But Sprout’s right there telling me to grow up. She can stuff that opinion up her Venomous Tentacula.
     
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  22. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    lashing out like a child is making her point, smh
     
  23. PeterGriffin

    PeterGriffin Iced and/or sweet tea is for dirty rednecks.
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  24. Drown ‘Em

    Drown ‘Em The Candy Man
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    It’s no stranger than Disney adults.






    Don’t get me wrong. They’re both strange.
     
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  25. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Let people enjoy shit. Also a HP themed wedding sounds like it would be way more fun than most of the generic wedding's I've been to.
     
  26. Nostradumass

    Nostradumass Well-Known Member
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    Harry Potter is a rare "generational" sort of fiction. It's not just something YOU enjoy, it's something you'll enjoy passing down to someone after you, watching them grow up with it the way you did.

    Just throwing a blanket on it by saying "it's for children" is dumb, but also sticking your nose in the air and looking down on people enjoying 'silly' things is so quintessentially British I couldn't possibly get angry at her for it.
     
  27. Gallant Knight

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    just let people like what they like
     
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  28. RockHardJawn39

    RockHardJawn39 Not all time is Standard time, bitch
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    [​IMG]
     
  29. Gallant Knight

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    except that
     
  30. Spontaneous Cumbustion

    Spontaneous Cumbustion Well-Known Member
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    Based on her appearance there Sprout won't have to worry about the HP fandom for much longer.
     
  31. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    This, I could only imagine the meltdown if that comment was directed at star wars fans.
     
  32. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    Alec Guinness did it years ago
     
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  33. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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  34. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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  35. Andy Reocho

    Andy Reocho Please don't get lost in the sauce
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    Fuck you too
     
  36. PeterGriffin

    PeterGriffin Iced and/or sweet tea is for dirty rednecks.
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  37. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    She can’t make money off buying you a new wand Weasley.
     
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  38. Jake Barnes

    Jake Barnes Team Mac OG
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    Replayed through Legacy; as good as it is, hard not to feel like a lot was left on the table.

    Hopefully it’s more of a proof of concept (like the original Assassin’s Creed) and the next game they make can add the elements that would have fleshed the story out (more dynamic relationship markers, full-on morality system, better day-night cycle, etc.)
     
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  39. NCHusker

    NCHusker We named our yam Pam. It rhymed.
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    I was so fucking impressed and in love with the game for approximately 6-7 hours. Then once the feeling of wonder at the world building/immersion went away I completely stopped playing and have no interest in picking it back up. It's basically got all the cliche/annoying parts of every Ubisoft open world game.
     
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  40. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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  41. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    AI has gone too far this time

     
  42. football501

    football501 I once ate a Twix with the wrapper on it
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    [​IMG]
     
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  43. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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  44. killerwvu

    killerwvu Restoring WVU's E-Rep 1 Post At A Time
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    Gardiner was a producer on Succession, His Dark Materials, and Killing Eve

    Seems like a good hire :idk:
     
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  45. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Those do seem like strong hires, but I don't think any new adaptations are going to be very good until Rowling is bought out or dies.
     
  46. Spontaneous Cumbustion

    Spontaneous Cumbustion Well-Known Member
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    Why? Just use the books as a script each season. This isn't fantastic beasts where JK is writing new stuff.
     
  47. zeberdee

    zeberdee wheel snipe celly boys
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    so they're just going to tell the same story over again in episode form?
     
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  48. SugarShaun

    SugarShaun A man of many hobbies
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    Yes. Hopefully it will allow for the things that were cut from the movies
     
  49. zeberdee

    zeberdee wheel snipe celly boys
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    they better nail the castings because those are tough roles to fill with the previous actors still being so fresh and beloved in everyone's minds.