Has Jose Cansecos twitter been discussed?

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by ncrebel, May 26, 2012.

  1. Corky Bucek

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    Lorne Greene

    :roll:
     
  2. Buster 5000

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  3. Red Rover

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  4. PeteTopKevinBottom

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  5. Charlie Sadler

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    Charlie Sadler one of the best living coaches in football history

  7. laxjoe

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    Jose Canseco@JoseCanseco
    Yes time travel is possible. Will explain later.
     
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  8. laxjoe

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    Jose Canseco@JoseCanseco
    Call me the modern day doc emmit brown. Stay tuned.
     
  9. CC

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    Saw this a couple minutes ago and lost hard
     
  10. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    he is a great follow
     
  11. Beagle

    Beagle Many, many french fries
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    http://m.vice.com/read/jos-can-say-so---lets-talk-about-time-travel?utm_source=vicetwitterus

    I time travel all the time and have been for the last 20 years; it’s real simple. But there are rules: You can’t travel to the future, and you can’t change history—but that’s a good thing because you wouldn’t want to wake up in a different future or past, as the case may be.

    The only way to time travel is in your dreams, subconsciously. To do this you must know how to control your dreams. For example, I constantly ask myself, “Am I dreaming? Am I dreaming? Am I dreaming?” If you condition your mind to ask that question every half hour while you’re awake then, after a while, you will ask it even in your dreams. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be time traveling in no time at all.

    I first learned the art of time traveling during my first divorce. My heart was broken, I was depressed all the time, and I just couldn’t take the pain. Somehow I realized that the pain subsided once I entered a dream state.

    Now I’ll do things like say, “I want to see my mom,” and boom, my mom pops up and I’m in the past. I can talk to her. I can hug her. It's very emotional. My dad just passed away about two years ago, and now I see him this way too. Or I could say, “I want to go back to high school.” Boom! All of a sudden my dream shifts to when I was in school and I had this huge crush on a cheerleader named Dawn Alba. I always wanted to go up to her and say hi and tell her how much of a crush I had on her, but I was so shy that I just couldn’t. When I time travel I’ll see her there and literally walk up to her and kiss her; you can pretty much do whatever you want. You can even fly to different spots, zooming through the air.

    You have to be careful when you first develop the ability to control your dreams, which largely relies on controlling your emotions. It can become kind of wishy-washy if your confidence outweighs your talent. For instance, let’s say you want to summon your favorite pet from childhood, or from another point in your life. If you can’t control your dreams properly, your cuddly kitten or loyal dog could turn into a wolf—or if you’re really unlucky a werewolf—and start attacking you.

    The only way I will ever be able to play in the major leagues again is through time travel, but for some strange reason it’s the one thing I haven’t been able to do. Either the bus leaves without me, they won’t let me into the stadium, I’m late to the game and miss it, or something else happens that prevents me from playing. It’s starting to really weird me out.

    The other night I had a dream in which Dan Duquette, the GM who signed me to the Red Sox, wouldn’t let me play because of a “technical issue.” I looked at him and said, “Listen, I want to play tonight.” He responded with something crazy like, “If you want to play, go get me vanilla Dippin’ Dots with chocolate syrup on them.” I searched everywhere for the stand, and when I finally found it and bought a cup of Dots I immediately fumbled it and dropped it to the ground. I was like, “Oh my God!” but at this point I was really determined, so I kept trying until I finally got one back to Duquette without dropping it. Then he started making all of these other crazy excuses for why I couldn’t play, saying, “Now I want this, and then I want that…” It was insane.

    I’ve had a similar dream about Tony La Russa and others—no one will let me play inside the goddamn ballpark. It’s the one time-travel dream I can’t control, and I have it at least five times a week. It must be a subconscious block.

    I’ve even seen myself as a child during some of my time-traveling experiences. Every once in a while I’ll try to make myself leave a mark on certain structure. Every so often I’ll visit the location the next day, when I’m awake, but nothing’s ever there.

    Sometimes I’ll even tell myself, as a child, “Listen, when you get to the majors, never do steroids.” Of course, that never works, because I still am where I am.

    Previously:

    I'm Broke and It's the Government's Fault

    Control the People, Not the Guns

    @JoseCanseco
     
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  12. Jack Parkman

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  13. Jack Parkman

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  14. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    Jose is awesome
     
  15. BhamBammer

    BhamBammer Showtime for Heisman
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  16. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    According to his twitter it sounds like he is starting a Podcast.
     
  17. BhamBammer

    BhamBammer Showtime for Heisman
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  18. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    Came out with some new year resolutions today

    Jose Canseco@JoseCanseco
    4. return to pro baseball as player or manager and have dinners with McGwire, La Russa, Bonds, and Selig.

    Jose Canseco@JoseCanseco
    5. Fight Shaq in MMA cage match

    Jose Canseco@JoseCanseco
    5. develop and launch Ponce de CAnseco a real anti aging drink

    Jose Canseco@JoseCanseco
    6. Get elected to a important political office in the U.S. or canada to help all people and governments with there problems

    Jose Canseco@JoseCanseco
    8. Write a third book and do a move deal for Juiced!
     
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  19. Charlie Sadler

    Charlie Sadler one of the best living coaches in football history

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  20. Lefthook

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    holy shit. Gold, just gold.
     
  21. mrcjmann

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    What was the poem to McGwire? I'm assuming it's pretty good.
     
  22. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    This is my favorite follow on Twitter
     
  23. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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  24. BhamBammer

    BhamBammer Showtime for Heisman
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    Damn you came to post the same thing
     
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  25. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    Jose Canseco@JoseCanseco
    Should have finished off north Koreans 60 years ago but Truman wanted to keep Mac out of the white house. I would have voted MacArthur #hero
     
  26. JeremyLambsFace

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  27. dvnasty

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    goddamn he's so real he's not even real
     
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  28. BhamBammer

    BhamBammer Showtime for Heisman
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  29. duc15

    duc15 Hey Nong Man
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    easily the best follow on Twitter the guy is just hilarious.
     
  30. PeteTopKevinBottom

    PeteTopKevinBottom Well-Known Member

    @The_IronSheik begs to differ, if you disagree will fuck you in ass old country way.
     
  31. BhamBammer

    BhamBammer Showtime for Heisman
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    Jose Canseco@JoseCanseco
    I dont think @shaq can back up his mouth. all talk. pissing me off. 400 pound pretty boy. donde estas pendejo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Jose Canseco@JoseCanseco
    here is the scaredyshaq story. Nov '11 Dykstra backs out but @shaqtweets Dana White he will kick my ass. I accept. He runs and hides. Puss
     
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  32. Jack Parkman

    Jack Parkman Well-Known Member
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  33. laxjoe

    laxjoe Well-Known Member
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    @JoseCanseco: Hug for u Jeb! Goodbye
     
  34. Truman

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  35. DollarBillHokie

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    Canseco doesn't fall for click bait easily.
     
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  36. Jack Parkman

    Jack Parkman Well-Known Member
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    This stuff with his wife leaving him and him begging for her to come back on Twitter is great, really shocking this is a verified real account

    My wife left me . Now why do I do with my life ?

    @DrPhil help

    @drdrew help us please

    @drjennmann please help us @ModelLeila

    Hi Commander Williams @astro_jeff I'm concerned mt Erebus in Antarctica is getting ready to erupt can you get some pics or video ?

    Always remember .The media is confused all of the time and wrong the rest of time. They live only in the past

    My wife and soulmate forever @ModelLeila come back
     
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  37. SuperCam

    SuperCam Well-Known Member
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    His daughter turned out fine af

    [​IMG]

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  38. Jack Parkman

    Jack Parkman Well-Known Member
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    now that I'm not on my phone I'll post it, easier to follow this way since on your phone the app doesnt show who its from

    Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco May 29

    My wife left me . Now why do I do with my life ?

    Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco May 29
    But it's my fault

    Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco May 29
    @DrPhil help

    Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco May 29
    @drdrew help us please

    Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco May 29
    @drjennmann please help us @ModelLeila

    Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco May 30
    Hi Commander Williams @astro_jeff I'm concerned mt Erebus in Antarctica is getting ready to erupt can you get some pics or video ?

    Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco 24h24 hours ago
    Always remember .The media is confused all of the time and wrong the rest of time. They live only in the past

    Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco 3h3 hours ago
    My wife and soulmate forever @ModelLeila come back
     
  39. Charlie Sadler

    Charlie Sadler one of the best living coaches in football history

  40. laxjoe

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  41. Jack Parkman

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  42. Jack Parkman

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  43. Saul Shabazz

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  44. Saul Shabazz

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    She would not
     
  45. Prospector

    Prospector I am not a new member
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    Just read and he a savage are eerily similar when tweeting
     
  46. Joe_Pesci

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    His reddit ama was incredible
     
  47. Jack Parkman

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