Nextdoor.com...Scout is born

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by lechnerd, Aug 31, 2016.

  1. chet fire

    chet fire Man in Members Only jacket

    I started bagging when I started practicing chip shots in the backyard. I don't do that so much anymore, but I've gotten used to not having to deal with the molehill rows of clippings if I want to set up a net or walk across the yard.

    No shame on those that don't. There's a reason living in a POA would drive me bonkers
     
    lechnerd likes this.
  2. Baron

    Baron gold chain gang
    Donor
    Cincinnati BearcatsAlabama Crimson TideCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsTiger WoodsFC Cincinnati

    If you have a lawn with molehill rows of clippings I’m going to shame you all day. You’re either cutting your grass way too short or you’re waiting too long between mowings.
     
  3. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Anyone else having fun reading Luddite posts about 5g network antenna installation? It's the new nimby with a touch of anti vax idiocy.
     
    lechnerd likes this.
  4. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    Anyone else having fun reading Luddite posts about 5g network antenna installation? It's the new nimby with a touch of anti vax idiocy.
     
    lechnerd likes this.
  5. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City Chiefs

    Interesting choice of picture to advertise house cleaning

    [​IMG]
     
  6. SP1

    SP1 Ball State #1
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesChicago CubsLos Angeles LakersChicago BearsCalgary FlamesWest Ham UnitedBall State Cardinals

    Wasn't sure where to put this, so I chose this thread

    upload_2019-3-26_15-24-10.png
     
    Wu, tjsblue, PAHokie and 4 others like this.
  7. TC

    TC Parody account
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksSeattle Supersonics

    Hey Jodicee, I've got an odd task for you :gfa:

    Just couldn't get to it myself :gfa:
     
  8. lechnerd

    lechnerd low energy lech
    Donor
    Texas AandM Aggies

    Holy fuck balls I have a good one, give me a sec to get the screenshots posted.

    Dad posted he saw two people having sex in their car. Thread went as expected. I’m crying over here.
     
  9. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City Chiefs

    I feel like this isnt gunna get posted for days
     
  10. lechnerd

    lechnerd low energy lech
    Donor
    Texas AandM Aggies

    [​IMG]

    So a bunch of outrage was followed by Joyce who turned it up a notch...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  11. TC

    TC Parody account
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksSeattle Supersonics

    "He is tall and muscular wearing a ball cap."

    This guy could write for romance novels
     
  12. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City Chiefs

    I like ol shane
     
    wes tegg, MODEVIL, beist and 2 others like this.
  13. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
    Donor

    Kayla Lechner(d), huh?
     
  14. TC

    TC Parody account
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksSeattle Supersonics

    I'm thinking Lechnerd must be Daniel. Look at the reaction he gets out of Sherrie
     
    Boo MFer! and lechnerd like this.
  15. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    There is a thread in my neighborhood about a stray cat stuck up in a tree in a marsh. It's a stray no one owns this cat. The tree is surrounded by water largely so no one is sure how the cat got there outside of of a small strip of land that is so covered in vegetation you need a machete to get to. Can't get there by boat because no river access. No kayak or canoe works because fallen trees all around it. One guy goes in duck boots and is surrounded by water moccasins and gets to the tree but the cat just goes higher. They find a small strip of land and put a cage out with cat food and leave but the cat refuses to come down because it's dumb.

    Current options being discussed are to go back into the poisonous snake infested waters with a brave child or small woman who can climb the smaller branches and brave falling into the water or being ripped up by the cat when they get to it. This is being vetoed. New option is to build a 50 foot floating platform next to the tree that the cat can walk across. This has to be approved by the park and they'be said no because it would involve permanently altering part of the marsh, which they are not allowing. The lady that's going to build it has been told to do it anyways. The cat that won't come down for cat food is supposedly going to see the platform and bound down the tree and across where a nightly patrol will be waiting to capture it and make sure it spayed/neutered.

    I'll keep updates coming.
     
  16. TC

    TC Parody account
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksSeattle Supersonics

    White people would have already saved it if it was a dog
     
    southside, THF and lechnerd like this.
  17. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Older white women though will do anything for cats.
     
    Hatfield, milquetoast and lechnerd like this.
  18. lechnerd

    lechnerd low energy lech
    Donor
    Texas AandM Aggies

    :roll:
     
    wes tegg likes this.
  19. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    No real updates but everyone who has attempted to get the cat is being told they’re a “hero” by the cat ladies and on par with Medal of Honor nominees.

    Nm new updates below.
     
    #1319 Lawnole23, Apr 6, 2019
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2019
    lechnerd and THF like this.
  20. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Things are getting desperate it appears. Gerry providing updates:

    TIME IS IOF THE ESSENCE.....HEROIC MEASURE NECRSSARY NOW ....OTHERWISE CAT WILL EXPIRE. OR. WORSE

    RANGER STATION SHOULD BE. CALLED AGAIN INSIST SPEAK TO”IN CHARGE” PERSON...


    Rox, roger That. Cats very reluctant to enter trap ! Very. We’ve “captured” and have in house nine; every one capture DIFFERENT ; need to consider and employ whatever means necessary ( non

    Harmful! ) to capture; patience, persistence, etc , but they will not allowed themselves to be captured voluntarily.. unfortunately..BEST LUCK,..

    Gerry

    I’m not precisely sure what’s worse than the cat dying but maybe it will be taken over by a swamp demon that will reduce the town to ashes.

    Someone else pointed out that the cat is not emaciated and is obviously still eating somehow so maybe we should leave it alone and it will come down when it’s ready. He was told to get the fuck out and did not understand the situation.
     
  21. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    I’m about to drive over and get the damn cat out myself.
     
    lechnerd and GuyOnA_Buffalo like this.
  22. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    I’m trying to get them to start a go fund me for the cat.
     
  23. nolecpa

    nolecpa Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida State Seminoles

    Make sure to post the link here if you do. I’m sure TMB will be very “generous” to the cause.
     
    Sex Fuckhead, lechnerd and Lawnole23 like this.
  24. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Cat update:

    The cat wasn’t seen for a week straight. Lots of thoughts and prayers for the cat. Obviously dead because it couldn’t be saved. Turns out the cat came down some time ago and was just hanging out somewhere else.
     
  25. TC

    TC Parody account
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksSeattle Supersonics

    Dead....OR. WORSE???
     
  26. nolecpa

    nolecpa Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida State Seminoles

    Oh shit, zombie cat is about to take over your neighborhood. Flee while you can.
     
  27. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay RaysTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Worse. No one got to be a "hero."
     
    Sex Fuckhead and TC like this.
  28. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Mississippi RebelsAtlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham Iron

    Solid thread:

     
    cdaysker, Taffy, blind dog and 9 others like this.
  29. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Mississippi RebelsAtlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham Iron

    I was really hoping somebody would drop a "Congrats on the sex!"
     
    Taffy, Doc Louis and lechnerd like this.
  30. TC

    TC Parody account
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksSeattle Supersonics

    Jesus. I don't want this to be real because I'm just cringing. When it got to the specific meal recipes??
     
    PAHokie, MODEVIL and wes tegg like this.
  31. lechnerd

    lechnerd low energy lech
    Donor
    Texas AandM Aggies

    Man that is Amazing.

    This is the kind of stuff I want to come up with when I start trolling on Nextdoor.

    I may have to rethink everything though. Originally my profile was going to be a 92 year old woman named Eunice.

    But this thread has opened my eyes, perhaps 28 year old male named Trevor would be a better option. I’m thinking infinitely more possibilities.

    I think I need to get this going before the 2020 elections. Trevor sounds like he would make a good Beto supporter who eats a gluten-free diet even though he doesn’t have to. I’m sure I could spark a few conversations going that route.
     
    MoJo, Biship, arrdub and 14 others like this.
  32. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Mississippi RebelsAtlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham Iron

    And passive-aggressively volunteer to help people do shit they don't want to do, like recycling and composting.
     
  33. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Mississippi RebelsAtlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham Iron

    And it doesn't need to be Trevor. It needs to be something funnier that, on its own, will get under people's skin like "Skip" or "Scout" or "Ranger."
     
    Taffy, MoJo, arrdub and 7 others like this.
  34. lechnerd

    lechnerd low energy lech
    Donor
    Texas AandM Aggies

    :roll:
     
  35. lechnerd

    lechnerd low energy lech
    Donor
    Texas AandM Aggies

    Ok these are topic ideas I have, feel free to add any...

    [​IMG]
     
  36. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Mississippi RebelsAtlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham Iron

    All strong suggestions. I think you periodically also need to claim to have spotted some rare animal and indignantly refuse to admit that it could have been anything else. Something like this:

    Then, every few weeks, post another sighting of the ocelot. Eventually, it will be clear that you're the only one seeing it.
     
    Taffy, Biship, blind dog and 10 others like this.
  37. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Mississippi RebelsAtlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham Iron

    And :respek: on the Tulanian drop.
     
    Doug, tjsblue, Baron and 6 others like this.
  38. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Mississippi RebelsAtlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham Iron

    And, with the composting, you should suggest that people bring out their compost cans after the actual trash pick up so that you can come around and pick it up and fight tooth and nail with anyone who claims that you didn't pick theirs up. Insist that you did look at it, but they had noncompostable matter in the can so you couldn't take it.
     
    Taffy, shawnoc, slogan119 and 13 others like this.
  39. TC

    TC Parody account
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksSeattle Supersonics

    I feel like I’m in the writers room at a great tv show
     
  40. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    He is even trolling while planning a troll.
     
    tjsblue, Hatfield, Doc Louis and 4 others like this.
  41. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators


    Maybe make a suggestion that a certain house gets rezoned for commercial and residential in effort to open a CBD oil shop.
     
  42. lechnerd

    lechnerd low energy lech
    Donor
    Texas AandM Aggies

    Fucking ocelot man :roll:
     
    Biship, tjsblue, THF and 1 other person like this.
  43. milquetoast

    milquetoast I hate grapes
    Donor
    Arizona State Sun DevilsFlorida GatorsTennessee VolunteersNew York MetsTampa Bay BuccaneersNew York IslandersIdaho Vandals

    This might be THE most factual statement in TMB history.
     
    tjsblue, Doc Louis, bigred77 and 3 others like this.
  44. TC

    TC Parody account
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksSeattle Supersonics



    Make it like this. “Tell me about your dream mosque.”
     
  45. TC

    TC Parody account
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksSeattle Supersonics

    “Ok this is option 1.”
    [loud grumbling]
    “Ok we will go with option 2.”
     
    lechnerd and milquetoast like this.
  46. lechnerd

    lechnerd low energy lech
    Donor
    Texas AandM Aggies

    Perfect. Reminds me of this thread.

     
    Sex Fuckhead and wes tegg like this.
  47. THF

    THF Banned From Hogville for Being an Ass
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSan Francisco GiantsOklahoma City ThunderDallas CowboysSan Francisco 49'ersMontreal Impact

    In San Antonio Texas?

    This is going to go quite well.

    I think your first step is going to be to outlaw outdoor grilling. Think of all the smoke and heat that generates and the contributions to global warming!

    I am sure people in your neighborhood would love to discuss the options for low income housing near the neighborhood?

    I think this has a ton of potential.
     
  48. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Mississippi RebelsAtlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham Iron

    The grilling/global warming thing should come in as an added benefit to buying the cooked HEB brisket. This is a long con, so he needs some subtlety.
     
  49. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City Chiefs

    Austin city council actually considered this exact thing and spent a bunch of money on researching it and possibly requiring a filter system on smoker/grills
     
    Wu, tjsblue, a.tramp and 3 others like this.
  50. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City Chiefs

    Honestly the Austin city council meeting minutes would provide endless content ideas for this troll
     
    Sex Fuckhead, Wu, High Cotton and 4 others like this.