Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Acid and raw chicken could be an interesting mix.
     
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  2. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    It was seasoned up pollo asado in a marinade from the store. We made bomb ass chicken tacos tonight. Fully cooked. I told her to hold off so I could make the tacos. She was embarrassed.
     
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  3. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    My stories are real. My girlfriend is incredibly smart. She’s like the smart but absent minded scholar. Plus we were drunk as shit. I love her but she does goofy shit sometimes. She’s awesome though even though I pull my hair out sometimes.
     
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  4. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Not only did she take a bite of raw chicken from the fridge.




    She took another bite.
     
  5. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 He should keep his mouth firmly shut
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    I wish I had a dollar for every time my wife used that excuse on me
     
  6. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Yeah I know. She said it was seasoned so well but got half way through the second piece piece before she realized it was too chewy. I think she was just wasted. Shit happens.
     
  7. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    Roy, you're telling us she ate a whole piece of raw chicken and started on another piece, not just a couple bites? What kind of shit were drinking???
     
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  8. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    That’s the story she told me. We had wine and a bunch of Jim Beam Black bourbon.
     
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  9. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    I've been pretty drunk a time or two in my day and I've never even almost devoured raw chicken out my fridge so that's pretty impressive.
     
  10. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    A6EBB49D-B554-4B3B-9C9B-2BF1D0394D88.gif
     
  11. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Don’t ask me. She’d murder me if she knew I was making fun of her to my internet friends. I couldn’t help it though. It was so goofy.
     
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  12. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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  13. NP13

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    Why is she drunk as shit, at 3 in the morning, in the middle of the week?
     
  14. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Goofy girl
     
  15. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Why not?
     
  16. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    Just found and sent this article to the wife.

    "I DON'T TRUST THE SENSOR"
     
  17. TimJimothy

    TimJimothy Well-Known Member
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    That's the thing about really smart people; they do things that you and I can't understand because they're really smart.
     
  18. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Because we both drink too much. I don’t work on Fridays and don’t have to go back till Monday. The past three weeks have been absolutely brutal at work. She’s off while she’s visiting so we went and had a really nice fancy dinner and wine, Then we came home and drank a shitload of bourbon. We’re both successful but kinda fucked up at the same time.
     
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  19. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Sometimes smart people have a drinking problem.
     
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  20. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    I'm sorry Roy but if your girlfriend is eating raw chicken by mistake, drunk or not, she is a fucking idiot and in fact, is not very smart. Not at all.
     
  21. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Ok. Thanks for the input Jeremy. It was totally dumb I agree, That’s why I posted it. I probably shouldn’t have but I can’t go back now. She has two degrees and has a ton of career opportunities. We got drunk and she did some dumb shit. Don’t talk shit on my girl.
     
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  22. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    She drop acid, on a cloudy day.
    She eat raw chicken, whenever she may.
    Well I guess I’d say.
    What would make you talk this way.
    My girl (my girl, my girl)
    Shit talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl)
     
    #7422 a.tramp, Jan 25, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2019
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  23. dathalfnukkahd

    dathalfnukkahd dat nukka high definition
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    No she didn’t
     
  24. TimJimothy

    TimJimothy Well-Known Member
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    Well then there's hope for me being smart too!
     
  25. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    No offense, but you explain yourself way too much. If you're drunk on a Thursday night that's your business and you really don't owe anyone an explanation about your work schedule. It seems like every other post you're trying to explain yourself to someone.
     
  26. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    ooooo watch out jeremy
     
  27. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    I think my favorite part of this is after the phone dying, acid, eating raw chicken we still get reminded how smart she is
     
  28. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    is she street smart of book smart Roy?
     
  29. NP13

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    I've never met a street smart women. I'm sure they exist, somewhere on this planet.
     
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  30. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
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    Yeah that's not drunk eating logic at all

    Drunk eating logic is finishing off the leftover crema in the to-go container after you've eaten all of your tacos because it's so good, which I have definitely not done numerous times
     
  31. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    one moment you're drunk and hungry, the next you've eaten an entire 40 pack of pizza rolls
     
  32. cutig

    cutig My name is Rod, and I like to party
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    Woman who has a kid gets so wasted on a week night she eats raw chicken.
    Totally smart
     
  33. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    I can't believe I'm about to defend Roy in this saga but I'm pretty sure he said the kid lives with the dad half the time and she's off work. Who gives a fuck if she gets drunk. That's nowhere close to the most insane stuff we've heard about from him.

    But I guess drunk enough to eat raw chicken is a level of drunk I've never reached personally despite trying to so maybe it was crazy idk
     
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  34. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    She was away from her kid, misses her and is super stressed about various things in her life, like selling her home and moving. She’s let loose a little lately. It will be all good though. Ok, enough of this soap opera.
     
  35. Cardeja12

    Cardeja12 Well-Known Member
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    don't play coy Tyler, you know someone that has had sex with a sting ray.
     
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  36. NP13

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    Like sands through the hourglass...
     
  37. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I watched a friend drunkenly eat broken glass in college
    I was drunk enough to laugh and not try and stop him
    Hes still alive somehow
     
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  38. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    What did he think he was eating?
     
  39. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    The glass he had just dropped
     
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  40. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    Is your friend dating Roy?
     
  41. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    We were at a cook out shortly after college and I spied a drunk friend alone in the kitchen picking at and nibbling on raw hamburger patties.

    He sent a text out at like 4am asking if anyone else had gotten food poisoning.
     
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  42. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    Everyone has to let loose once in awhile and eat raw chicken, right? Glad that was cleared up for us! lol
     
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  43. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    After further inquiry it was only two bites before she realized it. Not two whole pieces she just mispoke.
     
  44. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
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    so that's still what? 30 chews?
     
  45. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Possibly. I’m not a expert on raw chicken. I’ve never eaten it before. I use those niltrate kitchen gloves when I handle it. Everyone should have a box of those in the kitchen. They’re the shit.
     
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  46. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    Big fan of how one Roy story will derail the thread for multiple pages. Big fan.
     
  47. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Can we update thread title to "Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does. Brought to you by Niltrate kitchen gloves, they're the shit"
     
  48. DetectivePopcorn

    DetectivePopcorn Well-Known Member

    Been single 3 months.

    I enjoy having money. Don’t enjoy the crippling loneliness.
     
  49. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Sorry bud. I’ve known the feeling multiple times. It sucks. You’ll get back out there and lose your money again.
     
  50. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Try tinder. You'll have a girl eating your seasoned raw chicken in no time!