Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    No, there's not. It's a 100% certain summary judgment case. They just don't want to waste the resources of paying somebody to talk to him.
     
  2. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    I don’t know if it’s LOL-worthy but I do believe in building meals around what’s in season
     
  3. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
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    Ain’t nothing in season. It’s January.
     
  4. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Are you saying my grocer is lying to me?
     
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  5. blotter

    blotter Aristocratic Bum
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    I ignore riner like any sane person but still know the word you were looking for was pathetic
     
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  6. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    What she was prying at was quite clearly part of the can :laugh:
     
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  7. MORBO!

    MORBO! Hello, Tiny Man. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!
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    Glad y’all covered the McDonald’s thing. That case was pretty fucking egregious and fuck McD’s for how they handled that whole thing.
     
  8. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    The flush handle on our toilet broke. Instead of waiting for me to get home to fix it the wife decides she has it. She broke the damn tank on the toilet trying to fix it herself. She then goes and just orders a tank online without any model information. The tank she got doesn't fit and the one that matches our toilet has been discontinued.

    Now I have to replace the whole damn toilet. It would have taken maybe 5 mins to replace that handle.
     
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  9. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    Well at least it’s not a car
     
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  10. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    That is impressive shit right there.
     
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  11. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Reminds me of when my wife buys furniture.

    “did you measure anything to make sure it fits?”

    “no”
     
  12. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    She wrecked the hell out it though just like she does cars.
     
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  13. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    Lot cheaper replacement doe
     
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  14. IHHH

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    You call that but not the other one?
     
  15. IHHH

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    But good call
     
  16. Rabid

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    That reminds me of when we remodeled our basement. The interior designer we worked with didn't bother measuring the path to the basement. Even though our contractor was done with the project, he made sure to be present when the furniture was delivered because he was skeptical it would fit. He ended up having to remove a door frame and the railing so that it could get downstairs and even with those steps he said it was within an inch.
     
  17. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    oh boy, i would’ve been livid. Did the designer acknowledge the mistake and paid for the extra work?
     
  18. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Wife got her new USD credit card today, put it in her wallet, and then shredded the activation instructions.
     
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  19. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    The designer was a recommendation/business partner of the general contractor so we never saw a bill for the door frame work or extra hours of hiring people to move the furniture (since the delivery people left it in our garage over the weekend). The GC was awesome. Not the cheapest but having gone through it and talked to people I feel like you get what you pay for.
     
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  20. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    Wife asked what BBC meant this morning. Had a brief moment of panic before realizing she meant British Broadcasting Corporation.

    That's what I'm telling myself anyways.
     
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  21. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    Feel like I read this before
     
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  22. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    How much porn must you watch to not first think British Broadcasting when you hear BBC?
     
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  23. Deuce

    Deuce Well-Known Member
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    And if it is the other one your wife isn’t asking... she knows.
     
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  24. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    you gotta commend the effort tho
     
  25. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I wanna know the details of how she broke the tank
    Like what tool(s) was she using?
     
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  26. mal630

    mal630 Well-Known Member
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    I find myself typing responses to this thread every week but deleting them. Very cathartic.
     
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  27. DaveGrohl

    DaveGrohl Public Figure
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    The other day a friend said “hey man don’t hate on BBWs” in the middle of a discussion about where to watch the playoff games. The conversation kept going and I appeared to be the only one who caught it. It took me a second to realize he meant BWW as in Buffalo Wild Wings. But hey, now I know his porn preferences.
     
  28. Struggler

    Struggler Well-Known Member
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    Wife sent our 8 year old to get his backpack from the van. Our Odyssey will automatically lower windows with the fob unlock button. She just clicks the unlock button from our dining room like she’s flicking her bean. Every window and sunroof were open 4” for a night of rain.
     
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  29. Pharm

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    I bet she knew exactly how much 4 inches of rain looked like.
     
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  30. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    He told her it was 7 inches of rain
     
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  31. Chipper>Jeter

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    She was using a giant wrench. The handle was attached by a screw on the outside that’s could be easily removed with a hex key. She took the lid off the bowl and started trying remove the handle from inside the back of the tank. Well the handle wouldn’t bunch and the wrench slipped off and cracked the porcelain. A piece about 8 inches broke off of the back.

    I do appreciate the willingness I just wish she had talked to me first. I could have walked her through it pretty easily over the phone.
     
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  32. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    The better question is how little porn do you watch that images of Lexington Steele aren’t the first thing that come to mind?
     
  33. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    Meant to add this earlier and couldn’t get it to upload. This is her work.

     
  34. Baron

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    holy shit :roll::roll::roll:
     
  35. REGGNECK

    REGGNECK You wanna know what I been down , DONT BOTHER ME
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    That’s messed up
     
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  36. jrmy

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    Did she hit it with a hammer?
     
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  37. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    No. Pretty sure you would've lost her at hex key.
     
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  38. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    At least she got the bad handle off
     
  39. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    The real question is have you talked to a customer service rep at Kohler about their faulty design?
     
  40. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    :ded:
     
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  41. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    Wonder if they make toilets out of concrete?
     
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  42. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    Popped right off totally intact
     
  43. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
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  44. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    That makes the kinda sense that don't.
     
  45. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
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    If she crushes the ice cream container, the ice layer won’t form either.
     
    #10145 shawnoc, Jan 14, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020
  46. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    Ive heard crushing the top of your toilet gets you a new toilet
     
  47. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    My wife does this. We don’t typically have 2 liters of soda but she will crush it like that and tries to explain that it keeps it from going flat. I don’t reply
     
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  48. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    I have done some quick research and the internet nerds seem to think that squeezing the bottle has the exact opposite effect.
     
  49. dahldennsull

    dahldennsull Living in the best state
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    i do this (but properly). You don't have to crush the whole top, just squeeze the sides a bit before throwing the cap on. Creates a lower pressure sink inside the bottle compared to outside, so any transfer of pressure is wanting to move inwards vs. outwards.
     
  50. dahldennsull

    dahldennsull Living in the best state
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    curious to hear this. The few times we have large bottles I've found it works. You don't have to crush it up like some of the pictures though

    edit: found it, says it creates a vacuum that pulls CO2 out of solution, makes sense. Maybe by only bumping the sides in just a tad help and twisting the top tighter is really the only help.