ITT Interesting Posts from the Bunker (Part 2)

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Z, Aug 4, 2015.

  1. the Weimar Beer Belly

    the Weimar Beer Belly everything is good here/please come home

    War Eagle anyway!
     
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  2. southlick

    southlick "Better Than You"
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    EAD!
     
  3. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I am Auburn



    Written by: Robert L. Gillette


    I am Auburn.



    I am the 30-year old couple coming back to campus for the first time with both little ones in tow. One wears her first blue and orange cheerleader outfit; the other wears #34 even though he is too young to understand why.

    I am the 50-year old man who hoped no one saw tears in his eyes when the eagle circled the field. I was too choked even to say 'War Eagle'. For a moment, I felt foolish and then I didn't care. God, I love this place.

    I am the 60 year old woman meeting her freshman granddaughter who is now the 3rd generation of AU students in our family. Despite my age, I'd strap it on Saturday and hit someone if it weren't for my gender and this blasted arthritis.


    I am Auburn and I have always believed I was different. You can see it when you look up into the stands. My orange is not the same as Tennessee’s and my blue is not that of Florida. But the differences go much deeper than my colors. Read my creed. What other school has one? I genuinely believe in these things. To be a real Auburn man or woman speaks of character, not of geography. All are welcome to walk though my gates, not just the wealthy or the elite.


    Georgia and Alabama may have their nations, but we have always been family. Make no mistake, we loathe defeat, but even in defeat, we would rather be an Auburn Tiger than anything else. We are family and you are the sons of Heisman, the sons of Jordan and Dye. You come from a long line of brothers whose names include Burkett, Sidle, Owens, Sullivan, Beasley, Jackson and Rocker. It is a great heritage.



    So this Saturday, when the warm ups are over and the prayers and amen spoken, when you hear my thunder growing in the stands above you, when you stand in the tunnel and the smoke begins to form, listen for my voice when you run onto my field. Behind the frenzy of the shakers and deafening roar, I will tell you something in a whisper you may miss. I will be telling you that you are my sons and I am proud of you for the way you wear the burnt orange and navy blue. I am telling you that you are my sons and I love you.


    Auburn is so much more than a city or a school or a team or a degree. It is something that, once you have experienced it, will live inside of you forever and become a part of what makes up who you are...


    It is driving into town on a game day. You may have come from hundreds of miles away and as you get closer and closer to the city limits, you feel it rising inside of you. Other cars on the highway proudly display their orange and blue flags, magnets or car tags, and you honk and wave at them, because, for that one day, you are all on the same team.



    It is the smell in the air and the ritualistic act of tailgating...catching up with old friends, making new ones, and invitations from perfect strangers to try their ribs or watch their satellite TV showing all of the day's important match-ups...of course, all being secondary to the one that will occur in the great cathedral of Jordan-Hare later that day.


    It is the Tiger Walk...where you might just see 300 pound men overcome with emotion and weeping with pride because you have come there to cheer them on. As they walk by, you might exchange a glance with one or two of them and you can see it in their eyes...it is going to be their day.


    It is the students...dressed in their best, because going to an Auburn game is like going to church for Auburn people....you show the same respect as you would if you were in God's house. Those students remind you of the days when you were walking in their shoes and Auburn was your home...but then you realize, in many ways, it is still and always will be HOME.


    It is that lump that rises in your throat when the band plays the Alma Mater as the eagle is soaring over your head during pregame.



    It is walking around on a "foreign" and sometimes hostile campus. You are easily identified (Auburn people always are) and the enemy jeers and shouts things at you to mask their feelings of intimidation. But just then, you happen upon a friend you have never met before. You know they are your friend by the colors they wear or the shaker in their hand. You exchange a "War Eagle" and a confident grin because he/she knows what you know.


    It is when your heart leaps with every touchdown, field goal, sack, and interception...because those are our boys. And win or lose, they will always have our undying support. After all, it is those boys that you are really there for, and not a coach or a logo or a trustee or a president.


    It is the complete and utter exhilaration of walking away victorious over a worthy opponent...that feeling of pride and accomplishment as if it were your own feet that had crossed the goal line scoring the last points yourself...that feeling of wanting to scream War Eagle" at the top of your lungs and hug complete strangers...and then there is the ultimate high of defeating your most hated foes from across the state.




    No words can describe what this feels like, but you know because you have experienced it.



    It is the sheer agony of defeat as the last minutes tick off the clock and you realize that all hope of a victory is gone. You feel like crying and maybe you do...then you hear the faint sounds of a cheer that grows louder and louder...."ITS GREAT TO BE AN AUBURN TIGER."

    It is knowing that year after year, no matter how things change in our hectic lives, you can always come back to "the Loveliest Village on the Plains"...the place where you came from...your home. It will probably look a little different and there will be new names on the backs of the jerseys, but deep down, no matter what, it is still the same.You still love it as much as you always have because Auburn is as much a part of you as your arms, legs and the orange and blue blood that runs through your veins.



    And, finally, it is the feeling you have right now as you read these lines....the anticipation inside of you because you know it's almost time....It's about to start all over again...but then it really never goes away, does it?
    --
    Robert L. Gillette, DVM, MSE




    (END)
     
  4. Juan

    Juan All you got for me is Lite Beer...
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    almost aTm cult like, almost...
     
  5. Super Vegeta

    Super Vegeta My posting power is over 9000.
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    Maybe it means a little too much
     
    Doc Louis, Merica, Tiffin and 24 others like this.
  6. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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    I cannot believe I read all of it
     
  7. gus_chiggins

    gus_chiggins This carpet is overdue for a good moppin
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    Holy fucking shit. EMBARRASSING
     
  8. Spike 80DF

    Spike 80DF Too Much Bama In Me
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    Perfect example of Poe's law. If you wanted to write a satirical love note from an Auburn Man to their school, you couldn't do better.
     
    DaveGrohl likes this.
  9. electronic

    electronic It’s satire!
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    How many times do Auburn fans cry prior to the goddamn kickoff? Holy shit.
     
    Keef, DaveGrohl, Merica and 18 others like this.
  10. joey jo-jo jr shabadoo

    joey jo-jo jr shabadoo you know for me, the action is the juice

    yes I’ve seen this porno before
     
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  11. Barves2125

    Barves2125 "Ready to drive the Ferarri" - Reuben Foster
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    I'm about ready for Auburn University to start their own church.
     
  12. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    They kind of have:

     
  13. Fran Tarkenton

    Fran Tarkenton Well-Known Member
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    Wake Forest Demon Deacons

    sadly, this drivel is par for the course with them. Most of them actually buy into it.
     
  14. Fran Tarkenton

    Fran Tarkenton Well-Known Member
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    Wake Forest Demon Deacons

    and lost hard at "shakers"
     
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  15. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse I'm not really in to dinosaurs right now.
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    The year is 2029....Its opening day at Death Valley, and the stadium is filled to its 126,843 capacity. All in orange. All waving orange flags. They cheer for their Tigers, celebrating the back to back national championships, and 4 out of the last 8 national championships. They are a dynasty. The media speculates "is this the greatest team ever?" Clemson, synonomous with "college football", is the envy of every other program in America.

    The Four Horseman, Cherone Peak, Martravias Bryant, Mike Bellamy and of course Sammy Watkins, are in attendance. Dabo has always credited them with being the Spark that turned around Clemson’s fortune. Though Clemson never actually won a national title while they were there, the 3 ACC championships they won put Clemson squarely back in the mix for the national title hunt from their perch on top of the ACC.

    Watkins, being Clemson's first Heisman Trophy winner and first #1 pick was greeted with roar, many still wearing his retired #1 jersey. Bellamy, a two-time NFL MVP and first ballot Hall of Famer raised his hand to the crowd, and nearly blinded all from the shine of his 4 super bowl rings. Peake and Bryant recently retired from the NFL as annual pro-bowlers and defining Clemson's new reputation as "Wide Reciever U".

    Just beside the four horseman, are three former Tiger walk-ons: Will Swinney, Drew Swinney, and Clay Swinney. Will is now an assistant coach at Alabama. Drew, a successful attorney in Atlanta. And Clay, who defied the odds and is now a starting wide receiver for the Tennessee Titans. They stand there, in awe. Tears flowing from their face as they think back to all the practices, hours in the weight room, and tough victories over ACC foes. They are all champions. It has all come to this. This one moment. They know this is what they worked for. They know what it feels like to achieve your dream.

    Then...an announcement is made, and a banner is dropped...

    The West Zone will be renamed...the Dabo Swinney Zone. Suddenly, 126,843 chant "Dabo! Dabo!" at the top of their lungs, and thank God that they were patient with Dabo. He asked for patience. He delivered.

    Clemson.
     
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  16. Barves2125

    Barves2125 "Ready to drive the Ferarri" - Reuben Foster
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    Showing "the same respect as you would in God's house" sounds like someone might be worshipping a false idol IYAM.
     
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  17. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    Auburn with a lake
     
  18. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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    I was devastated to find out that this was written as satire
     
  19. the Weimar Beer Belly

    the Weimar Beer Belly everything is good here/please come home


    So long story short: war eagle anyway!
     
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  20. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    [​IMG]
     
  21. TC

    TC Love it. Couldn’t wear it.
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    Do you take whiskey into church for fucks sake
     
    Spike 80DF likes this.
  22. TLAU

    TLAU Dog Crew
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

     
  23. TC

    TC Love it. Couldn’t wear it.
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersSeattle Supersonics

    Merica and Tiffin like this.
  24. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby So I go to the Coinstar and it’s not working
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    That shit was sexist. Why can't the daughter wear the Bo jersey and why even include the line about the grandma's gender. Also, it's pretty classic Auburn that she became a grandmother at 42.
     
  25. Fran Tarkenton

    Fran Tarkenton Well-Known Member
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    Wake Forest Demon Deacons

    PMarsh has the Special Family wanting to change the date of the Georgia game, location of the SECCG


    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
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  26. Matt Foley

    Matt Foley Well-Known Member
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    I don't read his shit, but we really do need to do something about our amen corner.

    Playing UGA/Bama within 3 weeks followed immediately by the SEC Championship is brutal enough. Add in that they're both away games in even years and it's downright impossible. Need to stagger the home/away or change the date, and any Auburn fan would be crazy to think otherwise.
     
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  27. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Y’all wouldn’t have made it to the SECCG if you’d played Georgia earlier in the year.
     
  28. Fran Tarkenton

    Fran Tarkenton Well-Known Member
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    Wake Forest Demon Deacons

    Yea its highly unlikely that date itself is changing. I don't think Bama wants their game date moved, and I know Georgia does not want their game moved. So not happening. Thats why I thought it was ridiculous suggesting it.

    The home-home, away-away sucks. Just from a fan perspective. We deal with it every other year with Auburn-GT as well. This season, had UF, Auburn, Ga Tech all on the row to end the season. Plus Tennessee on the road to begin the season. It got messed up in 2013, we had to play at Auburn a second consecutive yr.....and there was not much complaining from Auburn then iirc. Guessing it would take Auburn sacrificing a home game of their own. Could happen.

    Personally, I think Auburn benefits from getting 2 marquee home games in a row. You get about as big of a stage as possible to showcase the team. Cant think of another program that had a better chance to rehab a 2-loss resume than Auburn. If you hit right, it elevates you like you did this year. I dont think playing those teams 3 out of 4 weeks is the reason you lost Saturday. Bama has a tough November and has been able to navigate it. Georgia has always ended with UF-Auburn-GaTech-nowSECCG. Cant avoid or cherry pick the schedule.
     
  29. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby So I go to the Coinstar and it’s not working
    Donor

    Yeah because Auburn is playing for the SECCG every year. Pretending like this is an annual barrier is laughable.

    That shit cuts both ways. When Auburn is good, they get their two biggest rivals at home. They should go back to the way it was pre-expansion and make it one away, one at home.
     
  30. High Cotton

    High Cotton Where does this fall in our Christian walk?
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    Auburn Tigers

    We'd be thrilled to do so, but it would entail the entire conference changing schedules. I think realignment/new members/pod system change is the time it would happen.
     
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  31. Matt Foley

    Matt Foley Well-Known Member
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    You lost me when you started bringing GT into this.

    Also, UGA/UF was in October, making that a bad comparison.
     
    High Cotton likes this.
  32. High Cotton

    High Cotton Where does this fall in our Christian walk?
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    Auburn Tigers

    The switch in 2011/12 put UGA on the same H/H and Away/Away track Tech as it did AU with GA and ABma. It would Auburn's turn to go two away if we get the chance to get the series back the way it was.

    The obvious answer is TAMU and Mizzou should be kicked out of the SEC.
     
  33. NST

    NST Fiesta Bowl Champions
    Clemson Tigers


    While he missed on some minor details, he pretty much nailed it.
     
  34. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby So I go to the Coinstar and it’s not working
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    Georgia should have to play Tech on the road every single year as punishment for having Georgia Tech on their schedule every single year.
     
  35. High Cotton

    High Cotton Where does this fall in our Christian walk?
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    Auburn Tigers

    They all say its a home game anyways.
     
  36. Fran Tarkenton

    Fran Tarkenton Well-Known Member
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    Wake Forest Demon Deacons

    Its like the last day in October. One week is that big of a difference? Its a rivalry game at the end of the season. If I lost you with Ga Tech then you would not have liked this post

    Which is spot on.
     
  37. High Cotton

    High Cotton Where does this fall in our Christian walk?
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    Auburn Tigers

    I'd like to split UGA and Bama back up at first opportunity so Auburn has a home game in late November worth a damn. In even years, the last SEC game is the first weekend of November, and it's not even barely fall yet. The cupcake before Thanksgiving is for alumni, young children, and those who want to pay $20 for a ticket. It also forces the local Auburn economy to make their nut in two months with LSU, TAMU, Arkansas, rotating opponent opposed to spread out over 3 months and better games of AL, UGA, and the Mississippis. Even years seem front loaded.
     
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  38. Fran Tarkenton

    Fran Tarkenton Well-Known Member
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    Wake Forest Demon Deacons

    Surprising how often PMarsh’s fantasies are bought into. Moving games around for Auburn’s convenience is laughable.

    Forget the premise that Bama and Georgia are going to perpetually be strong.
     
    DaveGrohl likes this.
  39. Darko the Snowman

    Darko the Snowman Crushing blow for AU. It's Georgia.
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    Holy fucking shit :loldog: did fat idiot Phillip Marshall write this? And they wonder why people hate them
     
  40. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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    2013 and 2014 the Florida game took place in November.
     
  41. Merica

    Merica Devine pls stop pointing out my demise. :(
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    :pffft:

    Are there people out there who are actually crying when they go to a sports stadium for the 100th time? That’s gotta be bullshit right?

    I love how he had to throw in that women can’t play football on that Grandma sequence. :loldog:
     
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  42. Stone Cold Steve Austin

    Stone Cold Steve Austin Tickler Extraordinaire
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    Uhhhh,,,yeah. Cult Auburn fans.
     
  43. Merica

    Merica Devine pls stop pointing out my demise. :(
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    That’s mainly what we want.

    It was that way up until ‘12 and ‘13 I think when we played at home two years in a row for some reason.
     
  44. Matt Foley

    Matt Foley Well-Known Member
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    It's all dump's fault.
     
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  45. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    according to that short piece of prose, they already have. In the fall, it meets every other saturday in jordan-hare. of course, it's a small family church that most wouldn't understand, wde, etc.
     
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  46. DaveGrohl

    DaveGrohl Public Figure
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    Looks like almost all of them :idk:

    Edit: oh wait, is this one of those things they “invented” like gathering to watch your players enter the stadium, claiming you were the first to do it, giving it a corny name, and saying no other school has the same “tradition”?
     
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  47. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    agreed. It was nice to see that much talent on Tech's campus even if it was just there for the afternoon.
     
  48. Merica

    Merica Devine pls stop pointing out my demise. :(
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    I was early on the fuck tamu and Missouri train mainly bc we never play Florida now.

    Never realized the lingering effect would be the home away site of the Georgia game.
     
  49. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
    Donor TMB OG

    I'm sure it's probably pretty easy to find hot takes from Marshall back when Saban was complaining about every SEC team scheduling their bye week before playing Alabama in 2010.
     
  50. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
    Donor TMB OG


    Couple things on this:
    • This is this decade's "An then something special happened" post. Almost like Robert L. Gillette, DVM, MSE plagiarized that post.
    • Second point, on the topic of the author - Robert L. Gillette, DVM, MSE - He's a vet from New Jersey that studied at Kansas and Kansas State (http://www.sportsvet.com/about/dr-gillettes-curriculum-vitae-and-biography/). He may have taught animal sciences at Auburn, but I really don't think he qualifies as a true Auburn man...