King Of the HIll....... GOAT cartoon, bitches

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by BLACK & GOLDschlager, Dec 23, 2009.

  1. BLACK & GOLDschlager

    BLACK & GOLDschlager Well-Known Member
    Nashville Predators

    "Bobby, if you weren't my son I'd hug you"
     
  2. SoonerNation07

    SoonerNation07 New Member

    Re: Favorite King of The hill quotes

    "I have a sense of humor, I watch Tony Danza."
     
  3. Tman12

    Tman12 Well-Known Member
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Dale Gribble: Gun's don't kill people. The Government does.

    Boomhauer: Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man.
     
  4. ALE☭COCK

    ALE☭COCK Got 25 lightas on the dressa, yessuh
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank Hill on Christian rock:

    "Can't you see you're not making christianity any better, you're just making rock and roll worse?"
     
  5. IanBoyd

    IanBoyd Well-Known Member
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    i losed.
     
  6. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    "Dammit Bobby!"
     
  7. CharlieKelly

    CharlieKelly What's your spaghetti policy here?
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  8. Talking Head

    Talking Head The Bag Man
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank: If Bobby doesn't love football, he won't lead a fulfilling life, and then he'll die. :americafuckyeah:
     
  9. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    "I have a narrow urethra"
     
  10. Talking Head

    Talking Head The Bag Man
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank: (In response to a young Christian rock singer who said, "Hey man, Jesus had long hair!")
    That's because I'm not his father.

    :americafuckyeah:
     
  11. jokewood

    jokewood I can be spicy
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    Michigan Wolverines

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank: So are you Chinese or Japanese?
    Minh: No, we are Laotian.
    Bill: The ocean? What ocean?
    Kahn: From Laos, stupid! It's a landlocked country in South East Asia between Vietnam and Thailand, population approximately 4.7 million!
    Hank: (pause) So are you Chinese or Japanese?

    ************
    Hank: Soccer was invented by european housewives as a way to keep busy while their husbands did the cooking.

    ************
    Dale: Apparently this door has some kind of anti-opening device.

    ************
    Hank: You failed English? Bobby, you speak English.

    ************
    Cotton: Hey Hank's Wife, if you have an opinion to share, why don't you go in the kitchen and put it in a bunt cake?

    ************
    Bobby: My dad says butane's a bastard gas.

    ************
    Hank: Why would anyone ever smoke weed when they could just mow a lawn??

    ************
    Hank: America is my country and I love her. I wouldn't enter her in any way that's unnatural.

    ************
    Tammi: Hank, don't! Alabaster's a little guy, but he'll mess you up.
    Hank: No offense, but he's from Oklahoma.

    ************
    Peggy: Luanne loves you, and you have no emotion for her at all?
    Hank: I've got plenty of emotions. I was *afraid* she was going to hug me, I was *worried* she wouldn't leave, and I was *happy* when it was over.

    ************
    Hank: My wife lies to me. My beer company betrays me. Americans are giving Mexicans diarrhea. What the hell is going on here?
     
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  12. reb388

    reb388 New Member

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Dale: This is a great gun-selling location... How 'bout it Peggy? Can I sell guns at this location? I have literally oodles of guns at home.

    Hank: Dallas? I don't want you goin' to Dallas at all. That place is crawlin' with crack-heads and debutantes, and half of 'em play for the Cowboys.
     
  13. IanBoyd

    IanBoyd Well-Known Member
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    Texas Longhorns

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    ************
    Tammi: Hank, don't! Alabaster's a little guy, but he'll mess you up.
    Hank: No offense, but he's from Oklahoma.

    ************

    lose'd again, hard.
     
  14. Futureknight08

    Futureknight08 New Member
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Bobby: "That's my purse, I don't know you!" followed by a swift kick in the balls

    Ha dme :roll: when he kicked Hank.
     
  15. Professor Chaos

    Professor Chaos New Member

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Cotton: Hank, this is my Cadillac car. You know the rule... The woman can't be in it unless she's in the trunk, in a bag.
     
  16. QuickdrawJohnny

    QuickdrawJohnny Well-Known Member

  17. BC Inabinet

    BC Inabinet Well-Known Member

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    When Bobby blows the game because he's growing roses instead of being the towel boy, they come looking for him and Dale says "Where's Bobby? I might kill him."
     
  18. GeneralPaton

    GeneralPaton Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Dale is gonna go get the raccoon out from under the house and he tells Hank to, under no circumstances, open the door.

    Dale: (Screaming and crying in horror)
    Hank opens the door eventually
    Dale: I give you one job to do and you screw it up.
     
  19. YELLA HAMMER

    YELLA HAMMER New Member

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    bobby:"buck got under more balls than a midget mexican hooker"
     
  20. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint It's like the Weimar Republic in that place
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    After the Texas-Nebraska game where Hank makes the winning play call for Nebraska

    Bobby: Is it ok that I feel like I don't wanna live anymore?
     
  21. Mister Me Too

    Mister Me Too Well-Known Member
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank: 6 AM and the boy still ain't right
     
  22. jokewood

    jokewood I can be spicy
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank: You know, Debbie's place is right next to Sugarfoot's. That's a coincidence.
    Buck: No coincidence: I like to eat, I like to hump, and I don't like to drive.

    ********************
    Peggy: You're 12 years old, and drinking a beer.
    Bobby: I didn't even like it.
    Hank: Now you're just trying to get me mad.

    ********************
    Dale: I'm an Indian. This explains why I love tobacco so much and hate the Federal Government so much.

    ********************
    Bobby: So, your name is Kahn Jr.?
    Kahnie: Yeah. My dad wanted a boy.
    Bobby: Yeah, my dad did too.

    ********************
    Hank: I'm writing a personal check and in the memo line, I'm writing "unfair".

    ********************
    Hank: Bobby, this is a carburetor. Take it apart, put it back together, repeat until you're normal.

    ********************
    Bobby: Can I put a gun rack on my bike?
    Hank: Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to ask that?

    ********************
    Luanne: Uncle Hank, I quit being a virgin the first time I had sex.
    Hank: Nobody likes a quitter, Luanne.

    ********************
    Hank: I had no idea you could say that word on television, let alone advertise medication for it.
     
  23. Manny

    Manny I love lamp.

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    i lost
     
  24. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    most underrated animated show of all time. When I was younger I didn't understand it and thought it was dumb, but now I lose multiple times while I watch it.
     
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  25. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank: Bobby, we've never talked about this before, but some day, I'm going to die. And when that happens, *then* you can go to cooking school.

    Peggy: You're 12 years old, and drinking a beer.
    Bobby: I didn't even like it.
    Hank: Now you're just trying to get me mad.

    Bobby: You had me at 'fruit pies'.

    Hank: A poodle? Why don't you just get me a cat and a sex change operation?

    Hank: Dallas? I don't want you goin' to Dallas at all. That place is crawlin' with crack-heads and debutantes, and half of 'em play for the Cowboys.
     
  26. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Soccer, huh? So, you like sports, kind of?
     
  27. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    If you plan ahead, then when things happen, you're prepared.
     
  28. OHW

    OHW Well-Known Member
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Underrated show by like a million
     
  29. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Lionel Hutz Esq. Works on contingency? No, Money down!
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Came here to post this.
     
  30. SoonerNation07

    SoonerNation07 New Member

  31. Gin Buckets

    Gin Buckets Well-Known Member
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank: You failed English? Bobby, you speak English.

    I also liked a lot of the quotes from the old women he drove to Port Aransas.
     
  32. Mister Me Too

    Mister Me Too Well-Known Member
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank: North Texas more like South Oklahoma.
     
  33. Roo

    Roo Member

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Peggy ruined the show, and yet they had so many episodes with her in it.
     
  34. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    One of the many joys of being a parent is all the stuff you get to assemble and then dis-assemble later.
     
  35. Principal McVicker

    Principal McVicker Not so New Member
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    should have killed her off instead of Cotton
     
  36. BTH

    BTH The most precious possession...is your own people.
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    :laugh:
     
  37. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    I can't understand a word you're saying, Boomhauer...it must be the echo!
     
  38. Can I Spliff it

    Can I Spliff it Is Butterbean okay?
    Donor

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    "Vaya...con Dios." *Bang! Bang!*


    "How could such a good cop become such a bad priest"
     
  39. Can I Spliff it

    Can I Spliff it Is Butterbean okay?
    Donor

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    All things being equal, this video needs its own thread.
     
  40. WC

    WC Bad Company, till the day I die.
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    :popcorn: to find later and lolcano
     
  41. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Sure, Peggy could be annoying but she was supposed to be...she was an essential character. KOTH has become my favorite show as I've grown to appreciate it more and more.

    - Hank: Bobby's doing the high hurdles? Sometimes it takes him two tries to get on the couch

    - Hank: the problem is my dad wants to be an El Presidente level member
    - lawyer: and they won't let him in because he's, why won't they let him in?
    - Hank: because you can't be an El Presidente member unless you buy a timeshare
    - lawyer: so you want me to get your father into El Presidente for free?
    - Hank: yeah, that would be great
    - lawyer: I got it, why don't we slap an embargo on all of Mexico until Rich lets him in? You know, starve 'em out?
    - Hank nods in agreement
    - lawyer: I'm kidding, Mr. Hill


    - Bobby: is there anything fun to do around here?
    - Hank: Bobby there's nowhere more fun in all of America. They've got horses and tractors and people who know how to grow their own food and fix their own roofs. You want fun? You're standing in a five ring circus of simplicity and self-reliance.


    - Dale: based on what I know about Bill and cover-ups, I'd say the Army used him in their attempted assassination of boxing promoter Bob Arum

    - Bill: how do I do that?
    - Hank: well, with any first-rate organization, I'm sure the Army has a form you can request, fill out, and submit
     
  42. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank: (describing the rodeo) It's just the kid's calf scramble. It's fun. The animals are running around without any plays or gameplans or anything. Kind of like Barry Switzer was coaching.


    Bobby: What happened? The last thing I remember is being kicked by a horse.


    Hank: Your first concussion. Now, don't fall asleep, son, both because you could die and I want to tell you how proud I am of you. I mean look at you, the bruises, dirty clothes, the smell. You're alright.


    Hank: I didn't tell Bobby, but I'm bringing a client to the rodeo this afternoon. I wouldn't Bobby to know a propane sale was hanging in the balance.
     
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  43. * J Y *

    * J Y * TEXAS
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    :laugh: so awesome
     
  44. wiggly

    wiggly hogs

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Can't remember the episode, context, or why it's so damn funny.

    Dale- That makes a lot of sense. A lot of NONsense.
     
  45. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    I'm your worst nightmare, I have a three-line phone and nothing at all to do with my time!

    not quite rolling
     
  46. OrangeONeill

    OrangeONeill Well-Known Member

    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank is on a road trip with his family, carefully studying a map... "We don't have to go through Oklahoma!!"
     
  47. Seavie

    Seavie Loading tweet...
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Kahn: "She bluffing...FINISH HER!"
     
  48. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Bobby, referring to his new sparkly tennis shoes: fine?!? They're great!
     
  49. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank: you know, Vince Lombardi won five championships without ever using sarcasm. He just yelled and shoved people.
     
  50. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    Re: Favorite King of The Hill quotes

    Hank: Huh, I do like sourdough
    Peggy: I told you you did

    Hank: Well, I hate those pants more than life itself but I can't tell you about that because I didn't buy them