Official Dads of TMB Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Boo MFer!, Apr 9, 2015.

  1. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Fourth weekend in a row on solo parent duty.
     
  2. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    We’re at the “dad builds a wooden block tower as quick as he can before baby knocks it down and laughs” stage
     
    BuckeyeRiot, mangler and bigred77 like this.
  3. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennis

    pretty much what's happening to begin. He's been playing the crap out of a Lego game on his Amazon free time app so hoping he gets the hang of putting g things together and just imagining things. But so far I build cars.
    1324A5CB-CD72-418C-B8DE-11DA72534B3D.jpeg
     
    gopack2104, Celemo and bigred77 like this.
  4. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    I'm glad the 6 year old has gotten the hang of Legos on his own now, he even built the millennium falcon totally by himself
    My back just about dies sitting on the floor at his lego table top I built for him
     
    Rabid, jbr, Sub-Zero and 3 others like this.
  5. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    Banner day for my 3 yo...

    - Hit the 5 yo in the head with a metal shovel
    - Ran behind the car as I was backing out of the carport (poor)
    - Poked the 5 yo in the eye with a paintbrush
    - Poured my beer out while I was riding my bike around the cul-de-sac

    While this all sounds like parenting failure on our part, I swear it’s the kid’s fault.
     
  6. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    100% kids fault
     
  7. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Used kids play-doh to stop a leak in his inflatable pool #macgyverdad
     
  8. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
    Donor TMB OG
    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    3-yo is still alive, all is good.
     
    devine, LetItSoak, jbr and 2 others like this.
  9. mangler

    mangler founding member of the potato posse
    Donor TMB OG
    North Carolina TarheelsCincinnati RedsCharlotte HornetsCarolina PanthersMiami Dolphins

    6yo used some of his bday money to buy a fortnite battery powered nerf gun. Now he's drunk on power from toting it around and threatening his 2yo brother with it.

    2yo refuses to potty train. He's 3 in 2 months and shows no interest in the potty. Tried putting him in underwear, he just pisses in them and keeps wearing it like a diaper.
     
    devine, Brocephus, LetItSoak and 5 others like this.
  10. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    Adding a mini marbles to go with me wife and step son. Been trying for a bit but I guess the early work from home gave us some extra time.
     
    cdaysker, devine, LetItSoak and 10 others like this.
  11. webbi

    webbi Well-Known Member
    Chicago BullsChicago BearsOld Dominion MonarchsLiverpool

    had this same issue with my son at that age. Not sure if you have him in a daycare but as soon as my son went to a daycare he potty trained within a week. I asked the head lady about it and she said she sees that happen with boys all the time.
     
    mangler likes this.
  12. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    We have some neighbors down the street with a two year old daughter. The mom is friends with my wife and the dad likely has mild Aspergers. He’s fine in small doses but is hard to handle on a regular basis. Ever since the lockdown, they come up to our house multiple times a day to play...every single day. It was fine at first, but it’s getting pretty obnoxious 6 weeks in.

    The mom and the daughter have been playing in our driveway by themselves for the last 30 minutes waiting for us to come out. I told my wife to handle the situation because I don’t want to be held hostage by neighbors that don’t understand social cues.
     
  13. tigr2ndbase

    tigr2ndbase Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Mississippi State Bulldogs

    Bottomless days is what finally worked for us. Just a couple incidents in the floor to begin but not having the comfort of underwear/pull-up on made her go sit on the potty. She didn’t like the feeling of going on herself.
     
    mangler likes this.
  14. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis Colts

    Congratulations man, that’s awesome
     
    gopack2104 likes this.
  15. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Marbles gets a nickel and the boss gets a dime, that’s why he fucks on company time.
     
    LetItSoak, bigred77, JC and 2 others like this.
  16. Snakes

    Snakes stubbornly litigious
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    constipated baby suggestions? she's 13 months.
     
  17. kezarmyaj

    kezarmyaj pro anti anti
    Donor TMB OG
    Dallas CowboysEvertonAustin FCDallas Mavericks altTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    prunes, can usually find them in those capri sun looking pouches
     
  18. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Christ, we went through this for a while. We're still going through her holding it in and constipating herself despite her being mostly well potty trained (except nighttime) for peeing on the potty. If adding some juice to water or lots of prunes doesn't work (or she doesn't like them) then just start mixing in some miralax with her milk every day, that is straight up what multiple pediatricians recommended to us. Try to lay off bananas and tons of grains and encourage her to drink as much water as possible.

    The idea is that your kid may have had a hard painful bowel movement at some point and is scared to poop, making it softer even if she's crapping all the time will help her get over that fear.
     
    Snakes likes this.
  19. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Fuck Covid
    Donor TMB OG
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsBorussia DortmundArsenalAtlanta UnitedAvengersMiami Heat

    My youngest is currently playing Fortnite and Roblox at the same time. I feel like I have done something wrong raising this child but I’m also impressed.
     
    mangler and bigred77 like this.
  20. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    My son loves roblox now.
     
    mangler likes this.
  21. mangler

    mangler founding member of the potato posse
    Donor TMB OG
    North Carolina TarheelsCincinnati RedsCharlotte HornetsCarolina PanthersMiami Dolphins

    Seeing these two posts is quite appropriate.

    Conversation I just heard my 6yo son have with his Echo Dot in his room:

    K: "Alexa, how do you get Avengers Endgame skins on Fortnite?"
    A: "From the worldwide web.....2019...."
    K: [mildly annoyed] "Alexa turn off"
    A: "blah, blah, blah..."
    K [elevated annoyance] "Alexa Turn off"
    A: "bl..."
    K: [Angrily] "Alexa turn off and never talk again"
    A:

    Also, his Fortnite gaming skills have picked up immensely, in a short period of time. He was very bad, and had no idea what he was doing like 2 weeks ago, now I'll play 2 player split screen on the XBox One with him and he's bossing me around, telling me drop the fishing rod and pick up a "tac". I'll be trying to build us a nice farm house and he's acting like he's directing the invasion of Normandy.
     
  22. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Fuck Covid
    Donor TMB OG
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsBorussia DortmundArsenalAtlanta UnitedAvengersMiami Heat

    :laugh:
    My youngest talks down to me like I’m stupid when I play those kinds of games with him.
     
  23. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay LightningWWEGame of Thrones

    Tonight our 6 yr old dropped the "you guys are mean and never get us anything" because her friend has something she doesn't. Have fun sleeping on the floor tonight and seeing what it's like to really not have anything tomorrow!
     
  24. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    My four year old told us this weekend that he wanted to live with my sister because she had a swimming pool.
     
    devine, Rabid and mc415 like this.
  25. Snakes

    Snakes stubbornly litigious
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    3 year old won't stop putting his hands down his pants. like literally all the time. any tips to get him to stop? We currently have him in a onesie that's too small. it's pretty funny.
     
    The Blackfish likes this.
  26. ryno23

    ryno23 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Tennessee VolunteersChicago CubsTennessee Titans

    Put icy hot on his hands
     
  27. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay LightningWWEGame of Thrones

    :roll:
     
    devine, JC and bigred77 like this.
  28. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay LightningWWEGame of Thrones

    My 4 yr old went through a hands in his pants phase for a few months around the holidays. When I asked him why he kept putting his hands in his pants, he responded "because my willis keeps pointing down and I want it to point up!"
     
  29. Snakes

    Snakes stubbornly litigious
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    mine says "there's cookies down there" lol
     
    LetItSoak, Bruce Bowen and mangler like this.
  30. John McGuirk

    John McGuirk member of the blue tiger club
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesDallas CowboysDallas StarsDallas Mavericks alt

    Practicing the flip up technique early on will pay off tremendously in middle school
     
  31. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
    Donor
    Oregon DucksPortland Trail BlazersSan Francisco 49'ersManchester UnitedPortland Timbers

    Anyone have any great gift ideas for Mother’s Day that I can copy?
     
    Marbles likes this.
  32. John McGuirk

    John McGuirk member of the blue tiger club
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesDallas CowboysDallas StarsDallas Mavericks alt

    this mug that keeps popping up on my damn Facebook feed
    upload_2020-5-2_22-7-24.png
     
  33. Louis Holth

    Louis Holth David LaChapelle levels of not giving a fuck
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesCarolina PanthersTottenham Hotspur

    I've got a son now. Been thread eligible for a month now. I don't really sleep anymore. I work and then come home to take care of the baby so my wife gets a break. Consider this my intro thread. Thanks.
     
  34. DayDomination

    DayDomination Damn, it feels good to be a gangster
    Donor
    Ohio State Buckeyes

    Congrats! This may very well be my reality soon.
     
    Louis Holth likes this.
  35. cal

    cal BOATS
    TMB OG
    Texas LonghornsLos Angeles KingsLos Angeles Angels of AnaheimSneakers

    need to whip up something fast too cause it looks like everything i bought for the may onslaught (birthday, mother’s day and anniversary within a 10 day span) of holidays ain’t getting here on time
     
    Daddy Rabbit and bigred77 like this.
  36. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennis

    During this quarantine I challenge all of you to get rid of that box of cables you've been saving for 2 decades. No you're not going to need that random _____ cable you got from your cable company 11 years ago.

    BC913D3D-8255-45ED-BCBA-523A5532D354.jpeg
     
  37. cal

    cal BOATS
    TMB OG
    Texas LonghornsLos Angeles KingsLos Angeles Angels of AnaheimSneakers

    and out to my garage i go to trash that directv bag of shit i’ve stashed for 5+years
     
  38. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennis

    I think I had two of them in that box
     
  39. tigr2ndbase

    tigr2ndbase Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Mississippi State Bulldogs

    Haha. I just did that last weekend.
     
    REGGNECK likes this.
  40. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsTexas Tech Red Raiders alt


    But what if I need one?
     
    ugafish likes this.
  41. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennis

    It'll be so tangled with the others you won't want it.
     
  42. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    This sounds like a challenge
     
  43. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Every time I would go looking for a random cable in a box like that it would never be there anyways.Those collections end up being repeats like 4 HDMIs, 3 coax cables, 5 power cables for items you threw out and literally go to nothing.
     
  44. mangler

    mangler founding member of the potato posse
    Donor TMB OG
    North Carolina TarheelsCincinnati RedsCharlotte HornetsCarolina PanthersMiami Dolphins

    Just today I found a USB and USB extension cable I needed for my outdoor speaker. You can take my crate of cables when you pry it from my cold dead hands.
     
    REGGNECK, ryno23, devine and 3 others like this.
  45. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Hell yea
     
  46. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennis

    I don't even know what I have that would use a non-micro-usb charger anymore and that box had several.

    Found one thing (PS3 controller). And I have a cable for it already attached.
     
    #9546 Sub-Zero, May 3, 2020
    Last edited: May 3, 2020
    bigred77 likes this.
  47. ryno23

    ryno23 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Tennessee VolunteersChicago CubsTennessee Titans

    This but this did not happen to me today.
     
  48. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    fuck you i'll never get rid of it.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  49. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Formerly MK3rds
    Donor

    Somehow 1/3 hit double digits today
     
  50. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis Colts

    My 3 year old just picks his nose all the time. Unashamedly and constantly. He plays with himself some too, but a fraction of the time he spends picking his nose. He works 20 hours of overtime a week at his nose picking job.