Official Dads of TMB Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Boo MFer!, Apr 9, 2015.

  1. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    fixed
     
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  2. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Wife and I both do the full FSA plus her work started last year giving $2,500 reimbursement for child care. Things feel great right now, not a ton actually coming out of pocket.
    until #2 gets here this summer :whyioughta:
     
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  3. mc415

    mc415 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    California Golden BearsSan Francisco GiantsGolden State WarriorsSan Francisco 49'ersSan Jose SharksEvertonSan Jose EarthquakesUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamSneakers

    not sure why I didn’t think of that ? My wife should be doing the 5k FSA too, thank you for triggering that in my mind. That $2500 from her work is nice
     
    bigred77 and Bruce Bowen like this.
  4. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    Every parent should own a multimeter. It saves me from throwing away so many batteries that are fine.
     
  5. momux

    momux AFAM Scholar
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsCarolina PanthersChelsea

    FYI I'm the household max is $5k for dependent care FSA. No double dipping even if both parents work.
     
    mc415 likes this.
  6. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Damn iPhone suggesting picture montages with sentimental music of my kid. Can’t resist from watching every time.
     
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  7. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Rabid, momux and mc415 like this.
  8. momux

    momux AFAM Scholar
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsCarolina PanthersChelsea

    Sub-Zero, bigred77 and mc415 like this.
  9. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    [​IMG]
     
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  10. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Story time
    In college a gf was a part time nanny for this married couple of doctors
    She would go to their house after classes everyday and take care of their daughter until whenever. Well one day I stopped by to take we dinner or something and I noticed a nice Mercedes or something in the garage. I asked her if the doc had an extra car or something
    No, he was home from work, she said he often came in and would sneak in the back door of the master bedroom to take a nap.

    That always stuck in my head. I thought man, this guy is so lazy (or whatever) and didn't want to spend time with his daughter.

    Now 7 years into this game and i get it and I realized a long time ago how much I wish I could do just that from time to time
     
  11. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesWu-tang

  12. mc415

    mc415 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    California Golden BearsSan Francisco GiantsGolden State WarriorsSan Francisco 49'ersSan Jose SharksEvertonSan Jose EarthquakesUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamSneakers

  13. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    REGGNECK and ashy larry like this.
  14. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    4

    And I’m dad as fuck
     
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  15. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    “We needed this rain” is a first ballot hall of famer
     
  16. kezarmyaj

    kezarmyaj pro anti anti
    Donor TMB OG
    Dallas CowboysEvertonAustin FCDallas Mavericks altTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    12 the stud finder one is my go to
     
  17. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    That leads me to believe I was a dad before I was even a dad.
     
    ashy larry, THF and Bruce Bowen like this.
  18. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis Colts

    You may need to see a professional. You have a problem
     
  19. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis Colts

    My go to is cleaning my plate at a restaurant and then telling my server I didn’t enjoy it
     
  20. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    A new one I somehow never heard till this year.
    “You want a box for that?”
    “Okay put em up :blount:
     
  21. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    I'd add saying "don't forget to set your clocks forward/back" to at least 10 different people when daylight savings time starts/ends.
     
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  22. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    Let’s not forget “people are just dying to go there” when driving by a cemetery.
     
  23. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    Every time. Do it more to annoy my wife at this point.
     
    The Blackfish, bigred77 and a.tramp like this.
  24. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    They are just begging for it when the server asks “how was everything” while picking up a plate that was basically licked clean.
     
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  25. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSan Francisco GiantsOklahoma City ThunderDallas CowboysSan Francisco 49'ersMontreal Impact

    Wait... some of you guys didn’t check them all? Who are you guys?

    Need to add to the list “Left it with a full tank for ya” anytime you let another guy take your empty shopping cart at the grocery story.
     
  26. kezarmyaj

    kezarmyaj pro anti anti
    Donor TMB OG
    Dallas CowboysEvertonAustin FCDallas Mavericks altTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    I became a dad just for the jokes. I felt like neo when he realizes he is the one
     
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  27. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis Colts

    Telling everyone that the kids are gonna sleep great tonight after being at a pool
     
  28. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    That's the goal
     
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  29. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Helping 1/3 look at hair/color ideas and I feel like I’m in waaaaay over my head hahaha. I’m low key texting my ex (my wife had very short hair so doesn’t have a lot of input on long hair) in between questions because I know none of the answers.
     
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  30. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    I recently did my first ponytail so that was a big moment for me. It was only slightly crooked.
     
    a.tramp, WhiskeyDelta and bigred77 like this.
  31. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedPGAGrateful DeadSneakers

    Lil Bish (3) today thought it was hilarious to pee in middle of his daycare class today. Apparently was laughing his head off while the teacher yelled at him. He has a very evil laugh too.
     
  32. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Hahaha, like pulled his pants down or a Billy Madison piss your pants style?
     
  33. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedPGAGrateful DeadSneakers

    Pulled them down.
     
  34. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
    Donor TMB OG
    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    This reminds me, when we were afraid our son would get kicked out daycare for leading the napping revolt, a parent informed us a kid one year older took a deuce on the playground slide. I’m not sure if there is a moral to the story but I enjoy the poop on the slide story.
     
  35. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
    Donor
    Houston AstrosHouston RocketsLiverpoolTexas Tech Red Raiders altHouston Oilers

    Take me to jail, I dare you.

    -Lil Bish
     
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  36. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! Better than Burrow last year good.
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysJacksonville JaguarsTampa Bay Buccaneers

  37. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    My 4 yo doesn’t go to school right now, but in the last week he has peed on the deck, in the middle of the cul-de-sac, and from the bathtub into the potty.
     
  38. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    This week has sucked hard. Had to take dog to ER vet Tuesday @ 4:30 AM. Wednesday night he had another rough night and took him to dr when they opened at 8 AM and they kept him overnight. Wife is 6 months pregnant and because of these events hasn’t slept well in several nights so I took other dog to guest bed so she could get good uninterrupted sleep. Well kid pukes all over self/bed at 10:15 PM. We change sheets but end up bringing him to our bed. Proceeds to throw up 4 more times 30-45 minutes apart. 2 more sheet changes. I didn’t sleep more than 30 mins at a time till 5AM and got 2 hours or so. Being a toddler he isn’t fazed and has boundless energy today. Now I’m just waiting for the bug myself. :blech:
     
  39. Snakes

    Snakes stubbornly litigious
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    This is everybody's reminder to be careful with your toddlers around pools/lakes/beaches etc. Going to a funeral tomorrow for a close friend's 2 year old. She slipped away while nobody was looking and a 5 year old found her in the pool. She survived for a couple of days but it was too much for her. So unbelievably sad for everyone. I just can't imagine.

    Treat that shit like lava until they are able to swim. It doesn't take long for them to drown.
     
    cdaysker, fattmante, JC and 10 others like this.
  40. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! Better than Burrow last year good.
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysJacksonville JaguarsTampa Bay Buccaneers

    Ugh. So sorry.
     
    Snakes likes this.
  41. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
    Donor TMB OG
    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    Holy shit. I can’t imagine. Good luck to your friend and everybody around him.
     
  42. buckwild

    buckwild #BucketsGetsBuckets
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesDetroit LionsDetroit PistonsDetroit Red Wings

    That's been a big fear of mine and why I was happy we got her in swim lessons before she was two.
     
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  43. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersBig 8 Conference

    My heart goes out to them.
     
    Snakes likes this.
  44. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    That really fucked me up reading it. So sorry for your friend.
     
    Snakes likes this.
  45. Snakes

    Snakes stubbornly litigious
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    For what it's worth she was a great swimmer. Infant training, swim lessons since she was a baby etc. She was very confident in the water. She was jumping into the water unassisted last summer at 1.5 with her little vest on. I don't know for certain but I would guess she jumped in voluntarily thinking she had her vest on. I doubt she just fell.

    I'm not saying that to frighten you, just that those lessons can give parents a false sense of confidence.
     
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  46. buckwild

    buckwild #BucketsGetsBuckets
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesDetroit LionsDetroit PistonsDetroit Red Wings

    Oh definitely...just being able to float, find the edge of a pool, be able to put head under water, etc ups your chances. That's all I'm looking for...going above a 0% chance.
     
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  47. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedPGAGrateful DeadSneakers

    He's been doing this for a few months. Sometimes he naps in the principles office. He only respects his teacher and she usually takes lunch during nap time. He's picked out the weak stand-in teachers and tries to lead the Revolution.
     
    Rabid likes this.
  48. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Well fuck I’m sad now.
     
  49. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Got a "boys day" "vacation" to end his spring break tomorrow with the 7 year old, since my wife keeps having girls days with her friends

    Getting up at like 5:30 to drive 2 hours to Snows BBQ cause he loves BBQ as much as I do

    Then after that I have no idea what or where we are going but I am excited
    Gunna spend the night at a hotel somewhere between here and there, just for the hell of it

    He is so excited he packed a bag yesterday
     
    cdaysker, LetItSoak, THF and 9 others like this.