Official Dads of TMB Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Boo MFer!, Apr 9, 2015.

  1. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
    Donor TMB OG
    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    My wife clearly lost hers but won’t admit it. Probably because when I got them for her I said there is no way she would still have them in 6 months.
     
    mc415, bigred77 and Simon Templar like this.
  2. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    UCLA BruinsDenver BroncosLos Angeles KingsSneakers

    youre getting close to my number lol
     
    Baron likes this.
  3. Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all

    Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all Putting big balls in little holes, circa 1995
    Donor
    Clemson TigersGolden State WarriorsPGA

    My wife is 40 weeks. I am ready for her to pop this sucker out.
     
    mc415 likes this.
  4. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSan Francisco GiantsOklahoma City ThunderDallas CowboysSan Francisco 49'ersMontreal Impact

    Go for a nice long and slow walk. It’s what helped my wife along.
     
  5. Dildo Dawgins

    Dildo Dawgins Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Georgia Bulldogs

    We had to buy sleep sacks for our son because he kept sticking his hand down his pants when he slept. Every night, we'd look at the monitor and was asleep with his hand in his diaper Al Bundy style. His diaper would barely be wet in the morning but his sheets and pajamas soaked in piss. Also he would wake in the middle of the night because he was drenched in his own pee. The sleep sack helped with that immensely.
     
  6. mc415

    mc415 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    California Golden BearsSan Francisco GiantsGolden State WarriorsSan Francisco 49'ersSan Jose SharksEvertonSan Jose EarthquakesUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamSneakers

    my wife was taking a walk as she was having contractions, definitely helps
     
  7. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    Well tonight was interesting. Usually on Sunday nights we have a family movie night. My son, who is 4 went and decided he was really thirsty so he chugged a glass of water. No big deal. Fast forward to 7:30, which is bedtime I made him go to the bathroom since I knew he had a bunch to drink. He pees for what seems like 2 straight minutes. Then he washes his hands and brushes his teeth, then heads to his room. We get him tucked in and then head to bed ourselves as we spent the majority of the time today working outside. At about 10:30 I hear some commotion coming from his room. I'm figuring he either fell out of bed and was climbing back in OR he was trying to sneak into the living room to watch cartoons as he's done in the past. I give him a few minutes and hear some more commotion. At this point I'm like okay, he's playing with his hotwheels. I get up to bust him in the act. I opened his door to find him with his pants around his ankles, as he had just pissed all over his wall and floor while STILL ASLEEP.

    We wake him up and startcthe clean up process. Get everything cleaned and take stuff to the basement to be washed. As Im loading up the washin machine, I hear a noise. Drip, drip, drip. His room has hardwood floors that are quite old and his piss had gone right through into the basement and landed all over my workbench area/tools. Just finished cleaning everything up.

    This is his first sleepwalking episode. No clue how he had that much piss still left in him. What a fucking night.
     
  8. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    I’ve pissed while sleep walking before. Funny story tho wicket
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  9. pianoman

    pianoman my drinks are free
    Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesChicago CubsDetroit Red Wings

    My older brother used to piss in my parents closet when sleepwalking.
     
  10. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    We used the sleep sack for a looong time. Called it his dress. I used to joke about him going to a big sleepover when he got older and being like "wait yall don't wear a dress to bed?"

    Per another suggestion we quit giving any water hour leading up to bed and that seems to be helping. Diapers still fairly full but he is not pissing through them. We also think he is pissing immediately after waking up cause he will barely pee on the potty in the morning.
     
    Dildo Dawgins likes this.
  11. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
    Donor
    Houston AstrosHouston RocketsLiverpoolTexas Tech Red Raiders altHouston Oilers

    Having a basement must be rad. Until the piss, of course.
     
  12. Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all

    Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all Putting big balls in little holes, circa 1995
    Donor
    Clemson TigersGolden State WarriorsPGA

    TICK FUCKING TOCK
     
    Bruce Bowen likes this.
  13. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    orgasms and semen can help soften the cervix JUST SAYIN
     
    Daddy Rabbit, a.tramp and Rabid like this.
  14. Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all

    Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all Putting big balls in little holes, circa 1995
    Donor
    Clemson TigersGolden State WarriorsPGA

    I beat off daily. It doesn't seem to be helping..
     
  15. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    supposed to beat off your neighbor
     
  16. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Colorado BuffaloesFlorida GatorsTampa Bay Lightning

    I can’t stop getting Cocomellon songs stuck in my head.
     
  17. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    We have avoided cocomellon like the plague. Have somehow weened him off Blippi or he just lost interest. Now if I could just get him to like Bluey we will really be cookin with gas.
     
  18. TableKnight

    TableKnight Go Knights
    Donor TMB OG
    UCF KnightsMiami DolphinsAtlanta United

    Recently replaced Cocomellon with Bluey

    Major quality of life increase
     
  19. mc415

    mc415 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    California Golden BearsSan Francisco GiantsGolden State WarriorsSan Francisco 49'ersSan Jose SharksEvertonSan Jose EarthquakesUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamSneakers

    We recently started playing “La Granja de Zenón” an Argentinian cartoon for our 18 month old so he can get more familiar with Spanish he loves it so far
     
  20. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    My daughter has a music class once a week with an outside teacher at their daycare. They gave the kids a little worksheet to do over the weekend which concerned Italian (specifically Italian folk) music and a link to a video of an example. It was just this older guy playing a mandolin and another guy playing the guitar but she must have watched it over twenty times this weekend. I'm guessing kids around 3 and 4 get obsessive over watching the same video, or TV episode, over and over and holy crap is it driving me insane.
     
    bigred77 and mc415 like this.
  21. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis Colts

    My 4 year old is now obsessed with some Pokémon knockoff called Bakugan. If I could just get him to watch actual Pokémon that would be great.
     
    Rabid and mc415 like this.
  22. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsAtlanta BravesCharlotte HornetsNew York GiantsManchester CityNational LeagueBarAndGrill

    ms appleberry is fine as hell
     
  23. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    My 4yo ‘won’ a spot for free pre-K at our zoned elementary school. It’s a lottery system because way more people apply than slots. That’s a $5k savings for next school year.

    So that’s cool.
     
  24. Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all

    Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all Putting big balls in little holes, circa 1995
    Donor
    Clemson TigersGolden State WarriorsPGA

    Also, I'm starting to schedule interviews for a full-time nanny to start once my wife’s maternity leave is up for at least a year. I’m offering a nice w2 salary + potentially benefits through my family llc.

    Anyone done this before? Any tips?
     
    Rabid likes this.
  25. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Bitch how much money you think we make in here
     
  26. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Most of the board will suck a dick for a million bucks we can’t afford no full time nannies.
     
    gopack2104, a.tramp, REGGNECK and 9 others like this.
  27. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    We did later and not as a newborn. Started it one summer and to be honest the lack of social interaction with other kids and being outside the home were key reasons we went back to the in home daycare / school we used.
     
    Bo Pelinis and bigred77 like this.
  28. Snakes

    Snakes stubbornly litigious
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    It's better for your kids to be in daycare. just my opinion.
     
    CUgator and bigred77 like this.
  29. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
    Donor
    Houston AstrosHouston RocketsLiverpoolTexas Tech Red Raiders altHouston Oilers

    I have a nanny but didn’t form an LLC as part of the process, haha.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  30. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I had my personal assistant handle it duh
     
  31. Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all

    Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all Putting big balls in little holes, circa 1995
    Donor
    Clemson TigersGolden State WarriorsPGA

    We were thinking home till 18 months and then half day daycare for another year before going full time.

    my wife works from home as it is but still needs to get work done.
     
    Rabid likes this.
  32. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
    Donor TMB OG
    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    Look for somebody that is dependable, cheerful and patient. Our kids like our morning nanny more than their parents (and they should because she is awesome). What I learned is she had a great nanny experience growing up and she wanted to give that to somebody else.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  33. mc415

    mc415 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    California Golden BearsSan Francisco GiantsGolden State WarriorsSan Francisco 49'ersSan Jose SharksEvertonSan Jose EarthquakesUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamSneakers

    How much is a nanny where you guys live ? I couldn’t imagine the cost of a nanny here in the Bay Area ? At least 40-50k a year
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  34. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
    Donor TMB OG
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersTiger WoodsInter Miami CFGame of ThronesMiami Heat

    This. Odd to say no to touristy Florida then mention Hilton head.
     
    Rabid likes this.
  35. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis Colts

    We pay 55k in Alabama plus all expenses on 3 vacations per year where she comes along to take care of the kids.
     
    THF likes this.
  36. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Live in?
     
    THF likes this.
  37. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis Colts

    Yeah
     
  38. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis Colts

    Guys I got a fucking stimulus check
     
    Bo Pelinis, a.tramp, Baron and 5 others like this.
  39. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
    Donor
    Houston AstrosHouston RocketsLiverpoolTexas Tech Red Raiders altHouston Oilers

    Probably more in the Bay Area. I pay that in Texas.
     
    mc415 likes this.
  40. Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all

    Tiger Tiger Woods Y'all Putting big balls in little holes, circa 1995
    Donor
    Clemson TigersGolden State WarriorsPGA

    All in ~50k in South Florida.
     
    mc415 likes this.
  41. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSan Francisco GiantsOklahoma City ThunderDallas CowboysSan Francisco 49'ersMontreal Impact

    I can only aspire to one day be as cool as this dad.

     
  42. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Cincinnati BearcatsAlabama Crimson TideCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsTiger WoodsFC Cincinnati

    is she hot?
     
  43. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    You be the judge
    [​IMG]
     
  44. jaygabriel

    jaygabriel Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Missouri TigersNew York YankeesKansas City Chiefs

    OK guys, question for you. On a scale of zero to nuclear, how pissed should I be that my daughter's 6th grade teacher faked an active shooter situation (lockdown) in her classroom today as an April Fool's prank? I'm off the rails right now.
     
  45. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    I’d be furious.
     
    Snakes likes this.
  46. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    Definitely nuclear. That shows some terrible fucking judgment.
     
  47. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    What the fuck? Absolutely would be insanely mad.
     
  48. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    My prank on my 7 and 4 year olds was I switched them to each other's beds last night. They were a bit perplexed when they woke up this morning.
     
    Rabid likes this.
  49. Snakes

    Snakes stubbornly litigious
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    That teacher should be fired. I would lose my fucking mind at that principal.
     
  50. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Also how much of a prank was it? Did the teacher say "we need to enter a lockdown for an active shooter situation...April fools!" or did they actually start sheltering in place?