Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. billdozer

    billdozer Well-Known Member
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    Clemson TigersCarolina Panthers

    They drink a handle between releasing it and searching for it
     
  2. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Seems to manage the bi part very well
     
  3. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    He gets a pretty heavy head start and everyone is hammered when they're searching for him.

    Probably why my niece wins every year.
     
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  4. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Miami DolphinsChelseaMiami Heat

    They drinks handles for recess in Florida
     
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  5. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    Well yea, each person has to drink one.
     
  6. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

    Maybe the turtle needs one also
     
  7. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    Being realistic I'd say most adults are 5-9 drinks deep, her grandmother at least 15 deep, grandfather hammered rolling around on an ATV, and the sober kids enjoying a financial windfall.
     
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  8. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    Their metabolism is not conducive to alcohol intake - it's apparently a hot button to make sure he can't get around spilled liquor.
     
  9. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Miami DolphinsChelseaMiami Heat

    No I was saying the kids should have to drink one too
     
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  10. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

  11. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
    Staff Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksNew Orleans SaintsTiger WoodsBarAndGrill

    My wife just now (at 5:20pm central)

    “It’s 4:20 on the east coast!”

    me: “no it’s 6:20”
     
  12. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

    It's always 4:20 somewhere :leaf:
     
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  13. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    Just let the woman do some drugs for Christ's sake
     
  14. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    This bit seems like a recipe for dead turtle
     
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  15. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay BuccaneersMississippi Rebels

    Tortoise hits the woods pretty much immediately so there's not much of a risk factor on this front since it's too thickly wooded to drive said ATV

    He's missing half of his right leg from Vietnam so it's not just a Florida situation of him wanting to rock a Can Am around the house
     
  16. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
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    North Carolina TarheelsCleveland BrownsUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    until I got to the Can Am part, I read this and thought... the turtle is missing half of his right leg from Vietnam!
     
  17. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    I thought you were saying the turtle was missing half a leg and I was definitely gunna ask for that story
     
  18. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Wife and I were debating how much a higher end escort runs. She thinks it's under $1k and I said you're talking about at least $2k and probably more if it's a full night. Who is right on this?
     
  19. PAHokie

    PAHokie Can't a bitch living say I bought her Michael Kors
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    Virginia Tech HokiesPittsburgh PenguinsAtlanta Braves

    Way higher for high end I would. $2k might get you 4 hours.
     
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  20. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
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    Not sure what we'd do for the other 235 minutes
     
  21. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    Michigan State Spartans

    LOL. You are both low.
     
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  22. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    Oregon DucksSeattle MarinersPortland Trail Blazers

    Girl I went to High school with and her pricing:

    https://mskellycarter.ch/rates/
     
    blind dog, Dump, billdozer and 8 others like this.
  23. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay BuccaneersMississippi Rebels

    It's obviously a wide range but I'd say the lowest for a girl that I consider hot is 2k for a couple hours and that scales up pretty dramatically if they're a known model or influencer

    I definitely have friends that aren't getting out of bed for less than 10k
     
  24. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay BuccaneersMississippi Rebels

    Also depends on how attractive the client is, what he does, is there long term daddy potential, is there a trip to St. Barths included, etc
     
  25. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta United

    Good for them, get them bags
     
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  26. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    Making $1M a year working two days a week sounds pretty cool
     
    One Two likes this.
  27. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    Oregon DucksSeattle MarinersPortland Trail Blazers

    look at the girl I posted..
     
  28. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Michigan State Spartans

  29. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay BuccaneersMississippi Rebels

    They obviously hit Vegas and work at Rhino on the big weekends or conventions and clean up and meet new clients.

    I'd say about 650-700 a year is realistic and most have multiple daddys so basically zero living expense
     
  30. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta United

    God bless
     
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  31. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Florida GatorsSan Francisco GiantsGolden State WarriorsSan Francisco 49'ers

    Had to read this twice. Was picturing a 3 legged Vietnamese turtle heading for the trees.
     
  32. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    I’m in the wrong line of work!
     
  33. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsChelseaAtlanta United

    Just start an OnlyFans and show hole and the offers will start rolling in.
     
    Hank Scorpio, Dump, devine and 16 others like this.
  34. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    He’s been showing his ass for years on this board for free!
     
  35. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsChelseaAtlanta United

    Just got to pull the cheeks apart a bit tho.
     
  36. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    A74F1DEE-8BE0-4C72-9375-F0EA1FAC0852.jpeg
     
  37. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsChelseaAtlanta United

  38. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    Thank you
     
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  39. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
    Donor

    Word on the street is that One Two is the Hershel staffer that Matt Schlapp tried to grope. The guy is missing opportunities left and right.
     
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  40. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

    Nobody's paying unless they can see the bussy
     
    One Two likes this.
  41. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsChelseaAtlanta United

    This man gets it
     
    Dump, One Two and Homo Erectus like this.
  42. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    I told you that in confidence
     
  43. Gambler

    Gambler Hog Fan
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    Holy shit. Are they internet famous or did they network their way into meeting high rollers?
     
  44. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Florida GatorsSan Francisco GiantsGolden State WarriorsSan Francisco 49'ers

     
    Dump, Doc Louis, One Two and 2 others like this.
  45. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    Colorado RockiesDenver NuggetsDallas CowboysColorado AvalanceBoise State Broncos

    D1D0EE4E-8F90-4B8D-856C-E6FE4E0FCBF6.jpeg
     
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  46. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
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    Philadelphia 76'ersArsenal

    Can am accident, let’s not talk about it. Drinking was involved, it was a mess.
     
  47. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay BuccaneersMississippi Rebels

    I've seen some shit man

    upload_2023-1-24_5-4-26.png
     
  48. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
    Donor TMB OG

    It’s hair day, boys. Let’s see what kind of keratin based double blind placebo controlled MLM volumizing products she comes home with this time.
     
  49. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    She’s just trying to look good for you gosh
     
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  50. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
    Donor TMB OG

    R u my wife?
     
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