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Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.
got to turn that pivot quick to get those speedsters out
Wife just picked up a jar of seasonings and went to shake it.
The lid wasn't on it right and she spilled it out everywhere
Friend of mine's wife did the same thing recently and I guess their maltipoo just immediately started going to town scarface level when she was trying to clean it and they had to take him to the vet.
So you do have friends with "normal" pets lol
Our dog sitting roster for friends is about as across the board as it gets and it happens often. From pit to snaggletooth maltipoo.
you will never be a poster smh
The dude whose wife ordered like 24 pieces of dining furniture because she thought she was ordering singles and not sets is a personal fav.
I can’t find the post and am wondering if it got lost in the crash, but my personal favorite contribution was when I was watching the Patriot with my then gf on July 4th and halfway through the movie she looked at me and said “wait, who were we fighting again?”
A couple of these have been moved to protect users over the years. This is at least the 3rd thread for this topic
Not on the same level but the gf ordering 12 Taco Bell party packs instead of one party pack with 12 tacos was fun.
Wife and I both work from home, she normally goes into the office Tuesday but was going to go in Wednesday (today) this week. So I got up early with her and cut my run short so I’d be back in time to make coffee for her travel mug and see her off. Comes down stairs as I’m filling her mug to announce she’s decided not to go into the office after all. Now missing the 30 minutes more sleep and 20 minutes more run I could have had.
that calls for morning sex imo
Holy shit I thought I was the only one.
I used to do this too, we put an end to it during covid. I also have 4 kids and its a pain in the ass.
^^^ everyone stop and look at this guy, he's had sex 4+ times
*allegedly. I have yet to see results of a paternity test entered into evidence!
well his wife had sex four times
Can you prove there aren’t twins, triplets, etc?
Not my wife, but my MIL...She's a special ed teacher at a HS (props). At a staff meeting she used the term "circle jerk" to describe something that was happening, or not happening, rather. I guess she thought it meant that they kept trying to figure something out but couldn't come to a conclusion. Someone had to explain it to her and she is the type of person who gets so embarrassed saying the word penis, that she prefers to use something like pecker instead. My wife told me the a few weeks ago and I still laugh about it once or twice a day
Also unconfirmed. Was there a turkey baster involved? Who is to say for sure? Need video evidence with both parties holding up their IDs and newspaper from that day to really confirm all this.
That reminds me of when wes tegg's lady asked the vet about his dog's itchy cunt
“Her little twat’s upset” + uplifted, cupped palm hand motion.
Just got into my wife’s car because she took mine to work
Seems like taking your car was a smart thing your wife did, seeing as hers is out of gas and all.
It’s too early for this, tegg
Somehow pecker is worse than penis too lol
We just bought a Toyota Auris and we've programmed it so when we connect to it's Bluetooth it says Toyota Anus because we are mature adults with jobs.
Pretty sure I am getting ready to get fucked up by hail…
Oops wrong number lol
My wife would never post in the wrong thread, idiot!
My wife tonight while it was storming. “So is hail like frozen water or something?”
In her defense, she has been sick all day. But still. I played along and asked her. “If not frozen water, what do you suppose it is?”
Hail ya she nailed it
This also acceptable but I settled on rain is cloud pee, hail is cloud poo, and snow is cloud snot.
My wife had regular ass AA batteries on a charger all day and couldn't figure out why they weren't charging. Apparently she believed all batteries were rechargeable.
Surprised they didn’t destroy the charger.
Part of me kind of wishes a battery would have exploded just to add some theatrics to the story.
My wife did this a few years ago and I came home to battery acid all over the kitchen counter
"WED, there is something wrong with the new car. It drives funny"
"Every time I try to change lanes, it jerks back as I try to cross over the line. I think it's out of alignment"
"Sigh....are you using your blinker when you change lanes?"
That damn alignment
Damn new car technology
What happens first: her changing years of bad driving habits or disabling the safety feature
I don't think we have to worry about her figuring out how to disable it
I hate that feature and disable it in every rental car immediately
I remember renting my first car with lane assistance a few years back. Flew into Boston late and was driving to Portland. Finally I was like “is this car actually fighting me?” Buddy had to tell me it’s lane assist. Tbh, I still hate it and turn it off immediately. Was driving another rental last year and forgot to turn it off. It tried to kill us by attempting to exit the highway at 70.
I remember years ago my first rental that shutoff engine at stops. Thought it died
I had a Prius once right after they first came out. I had no idea they had a separate park button so I gently nudged into a wall several times trying to park it until I googled how to put it in park.
I think people who don't use their blinker are worse than people who don't put their grocery carts back though that Venn diagram is probably close to just being a circle