Vasectomy Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by CUAngler, Feb 24, 2021.

  1. Pigproquo

    Pigproquo Well-Known Member

    Back when I got mine (local only, no valium), I felt a little tenderness for a couple of weeks. Nothing real uncomfortable unless direct contact was made. Just a general sense...i knew they were there. My doc said as long as there was no swelling or color change (bruising) then it was normal to be tender for a couple of weeks. It ultimately subsided, then I commenced to live fire exercises and taking the cups in for testing. Advice....make sure the lab is taking samples on the day you take one in. There is NOTHING more humiliating than strutting in with your paper sack, plopping it on the nurses station and her saying "we don't take samples on Tuesdays". Walking out with your sack full of semen is never as fun as walking in with it! (Write that down, learn it, live it, love it).
     
  2. am16401

    am16401 Praise God
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    thats what I'm going through, called Dr office a bit ago and he said since it doesn't appear to be any type of infection to keep wearing my cup since I dont really feel anything as long as my balls aren't freely hanging like when I shower or use the bathroom and just continue to take it easy and the tenderness should go away in another week.
     
  3. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    You're wearing a cup??? or do you mean a jock strap???
     
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  4. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
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  5. am16401

    am16401 Praise God
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    yeah I meant jock strap
     
  6. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
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    I am scheduled for 8/31. RIP to my swimmers, it's been a good run.

    They offered me 8/18 but that's the same day of my flight to Europe so I can GBR and that didn't sound like a fun plane ride with sore nuts.
     
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  7. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    You guys are all suckers. Just wait a few more years until ED sets in and then you won’t have to worry about pregnancy. Just like god intended.
     
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  8. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Upstanding Citizen
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    Life Hack: Just start banging old broads.
    Houndster's mom has seen more loads than a laundromat, doesn't even matter.
     
  9. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Seems like it would be a joyous occasion
     
  10. Pokes

    Pokes Younger, hipper, cooler
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    Firing blanks is great
     
  11. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    I can't fucking wait. Had a mini prego scare recently. Think it convinced my wife she doesn't want another.

    I just want to RDNI and not have a care in the world
     
  12. Buster 5000

    Buster 5000 "Don't buy a Lincoln you'll look like a pimp."
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    After recovery for sure.
     
  13. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    Sounds normal to me based on my experience.

    But I’m not a doctor
     
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  14. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    confirmed
     
  15. fsugrad99

    fsugrad99 I'm the victim here
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    September 16

    Cut me doc
     
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  16. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    Gushing in the wife with no concerns :blessed:
     
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  17. Eric The Viking

    Eric The Viking Nitro, the All Knowing
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    Had this thread pulled up while I was waiting at the doctor’s office, to find out the gender of our 3rd baby.
    #neveragain
     
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  18. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Sept 8th coming in hot!!

    Valium, local anesthesia, in office procedure. Said I give a sample at 8 weeks, then should get results by by 12 weeks.

    It is exactly 12 weeks from surgery to a beach vacation in central america. bruh I need to know results for that trip & I'm shooting blanks
     
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  19. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    They're going to take a month to test your jar? I got mine back same or next day. On mine, I gave a sample at weeks 8 and 12. You'd think you could do 8 and 11, especially if it was negative at 8.
     
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  20. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    He told me it would take 3-4 weeks to get the sample back from the labs. Seemed long, IDK. Said we'd do a sample at 8 weeks and I'd drop it off. Suggested doing another at a year.
     
  21. b7

    b7 Well-Known Member
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    I gave two samples at 8 and 12 weeks. Both results were given next day.
     
  22. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Hm. Weird. Maybe I'll do my own testing
     
  23. b7

    b7 Well-Known Member
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    start with your wife and see if she can taste a difference.
     
  24. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    tip: Don’t let Quest Diagnostics handle the testing
     
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  25. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    Just taste a sample. If it’s salty, you’re still fertile.
     
  26. Snakes

    Snakes stubbornly litigious
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    So in hindsight I probably should have been more detailed when planning my vasectomy. Just kinda went in blind. No local anesthetic, no vallium, not even a shot. They just tossed some numbing liquid on it and went to work. I was expecting there to be a shot but it never came. I felt them cutting and even felt the first snip. It hurt so fucking bad. When I yelled the guys first response was "oh, you weren't supposed to feel that, sorry". I wanted to kill him.

    5 days later and i barely can tell anything happened. But man that was a horrible 10 minutes. fuck that guy.
     
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  27. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
  28. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    I'll test it myself
     
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  29. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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  30. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Make sure you label it though. We've sent him unmarked jars to see if he can guess the user for years.
     
  31. billdozer

    billdozer Well-Known Member
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    He gets it right about 90% of the time.
     
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  32. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    He’ll never get to taste it because he just chugs.
     
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  33. am16401

    am16401 Praise God
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    my Dr actually had me order these and I just do self test at home. Apparently its what they've been using for years
    https://spermcheck.com/
     
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  34. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    jesus h christ

    don’t do this. for your balls sake
     
  35. LuPoor

    LuPoor Revenge bedtime procrastinator
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    I've never seen a post that made me want to die more than that one
     
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  36. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    My boss once or twice a year would come to work with an icepack for his balls years after he had vasectomy. He recommended his doctor and I was like lol no thanks. I researched the shit out it and chose a doctor that did his residency at Stanford specializing in no needle no scalpel vasectomies. But he was in a city 2.5 hours away. I had zero problems and virtually no pain at anytime. Went back to give sample. It has to be within 30 minutes so couldn't do it at home and I was unprepared. Didn't even have a smart phone had to look at grainy pics on my shitty phone. Tried in a parking lot but there was a school across the street and was worried I was about to have to register as a sex offender. So I went in a McDonald's bathroom, and of course a nice old lady was cleaning it. She waited outside the door while I shamefully rubbed one out. Worst jerk of my life
     
    #436 blind dog, Aug 2, 2022
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2022
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  37. EagleDuck

    EagleDuck Well-Known Member
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    Wife had a hysterectomy so I’m still shooting live rounds. This thread’s recent posts have me very grateful.
     
  38. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    blind dog just one upped Snakes - see two posts up
     
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  39. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    I produced a sample at home then raced over to Quest to deliver it. Then Quest posted botched results that the doctor wouldn’t accept and said I needed a 3rd test so for 3rd test I went to IVF Florida and rubbed one out in their rubbing-one-out room, which was an ok room but still a little skeevy feeling. Coming out of the room and giving the nice nurse assistant lady a thumbs up.
     
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  40. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Awesome. I will use this as a back up if I don't have my results
     
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  41. ryno23

    ryno23 Well-Known Member
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  42. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    did I? I’ll take my experience over his 100/100
     
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  43. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
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    Just scheduled my consult for 9/2. Doctor came highly recommended.
     
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  44. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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    Man wtf kind of doctor starts cutting on your ballsack without knowing if you're numbed up or not
     
  45. LuPoor

    LuPoor Revenge bedtime procrastinator
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    There's literally nothing about jacking off in a public restroom with someone impatiently waiting outside that sounds worse than feeling your own vas deferens get cut in half
     
  46. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    I’m the youngest of 9 kids. Probably 95% of my teenage jack off sessions featured angry people waiting impatiently outside the bathroom door.
     
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  47. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    Guessing your dad hasn’t posted itt
     
  48. Buster 5000

    Buster 5000 "Don't buy a Lincoln you'll look like a pimp."
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  49. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    as long as you did your research and picked a half way competent doctor it won't be a big deal. assuming you are doing the no needle anesthetic (bc you did your research) be sure to take a pic of your balls after

    just gloriously huge af and numb
     
  50. Buster 5000

    Buster 5000 "Don't buy a Lincoln you'll look like a pimp."
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    No needle, no scalpel. I’ll send pics later.
     
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