whats your favorite conspiracy theory?

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Taques, Aug 25, 2020.

  1. gus_chiggins

    gus_chiggins This carpet is overdue for a good moppin
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    THE ONE AND ONLY BILLY SHEARS
     
  2. Taques

    Taques please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad
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    The Real Movement

    also that bill hicks is alex jones
     
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  3. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Go on...
     
  4. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I think more people should treat Alex Jones like he is Bill Hicks.
     
  5. SmoochieWallace

    SmoochieWallace Ipse dixit
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    Came to post this.
     
  6. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
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    Bigfoot

    Been fascinated with it since Harry and The Henderson’s.
     
  7. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    And/or human trafficking.
     
  8. brahmanknight

    brahmanknight MC OG, UCF Knights, bacon, vodka, white wemminz
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    ...da fuck?
     
  9. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
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    Isn't that more of an urban legend?
    :comicbookguy:
     
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  10. Celemo

    Celemo Frogs Are Bitches
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    To be fair, Teemu Selanne, Saku Koivu, & Jari Kurri always sounded like make believe names to me
     
  11. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Nah it's the king of the monster trucks
     
  12. Biship

    Biship Well-Known Member
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    Paul is dead
     
  13. Ralph

    Ralph Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
  14. Tarpon Nole

    Tarpon Nole Well-Known Member
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    JFK being shot accidentally by a secret service officer after being shot by Oswald is one I actually can see being real

    Makes sense for a lot of the secrecy
     
  15. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    Does that mean Wings never happened? Cuz that's my favorite conspiracy then
     
  16. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    I'm a fan of the new one where Wayfair is actually a child trafficking organization, where everytime a kid goes missing there seems to be a new chaise lounge that comes out with their name or something
     
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  17. HotMic

    HotMic Insider
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  18. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
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    The one where the world as we knew it actually ended in 2012, and our collective consciousness was simply transported to another, more evil dimension (or we’re all in Hell). Which explains why every year since 2012 seems to be worse than the last, the Mandela effect, how Trump became president, etc.

    This was further reinforced by some guy who claimed to be part of a CIA operation in 80s where teams were sent to other dimensions and into the future to steal technology or learn what happens in the future. Claimed they were never able to jump further into the future than 2012 unless they were jumping to another dimension. The guy also claimed Obama was part of his team, hence the reason why his college and law school transcripts are sealed so tightly (they don’t exist because he was jumping to other dimensions).
     
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  19. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    The world is run by Lizard people.
     
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  20. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
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    Stevie Wonder has 20/20 vision I’ll die on this hill
     
  21. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    The one where devine was once a TMB mod but his powers were removed under the cover of darkness on the orders of George Soros.
     
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  22. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
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    Well for one, jet fuel can't melt steel beams
     
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  23. Saul Shabazz

    Saul Shabazz You need help packing up your Donk, Ron?
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    599393554.jpg
     
  24. Saul Shabazz

    Saul Shabazz You need help packing up your Donk, Ron?
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  25. racer

    racer Better call Saul!
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    [​IMG]
     
  26. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    toby keith, alan jackson and lee greenwood all orchestrated 9/11 to boost patriotic music sales
     
  27. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Underwater cities are real.
     
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  28. Tony Ray Bans

    Tony Ray Bans Most Overlooked. Most Overbooked.
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    Q Anon is hard not to pick because it has eaten all other conspiracy theories and formed the voltron of conspiracies. Within that twisted world, every single other conspiracy has formed part of the larger narrative that the democrats, as part of their larger satanic/pedophile agenda have done everything from 9/11 to assassinating JFK. It has so many hilarious smaller offshoots.

    Among my favorite of these little side quests is the Wayfair debacle of a few months ago. I am sure most people remember it but basically people found these industrial cabinets on Wayfair that were insanely priced and had weird names that internet detectives connected to children who had gone missing. Obviously what was occurring was that Wayfair was shipping children for sex trafficking purposes on their website in cabinets. Now, did they explain these cabinets? Sure. Did it turn out that the names people had connected to the cabinets were not actually missing children? Absolutely. BUT that is not important here. People ran with it. People scoured Wayfairs website for further clues of their nefarious participation in child sex traffic. Thats when they found Rachel Chandler. Rachel Chandler is the VP of Recruiting at Wayfair. Now most people probably thought that meant she recruited people to work there right? WRONG. She was in charge of recruiting children to traffic! In fact, people decided that her last name "Chandler" was actually short for "Child Handler" and that she had been instructed to change her name as part of her recruitment into the conspiracy. The final straw when pictures emerged of Rachel Chandler at fundraisers with HILLARY CLINTON :ohshit:.

    Now, did it turn out that the Rachel Chandler in those pictures (a new york socialite who has been a political fundraiser for years) was a completely different Rachel Chandler than the one who worked at Wayfair? Yes. But again, NOT IMPORTANT. WE HAVE TO SAVE THESE CABINET CHILDREN.



    Seriously the shit is fucking insane lol
     
  29. Lifeiskilingme79

    Lifeiskilingme79 Well-Known Member
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    My coworker explained to me yesterday that Victoria's Secret got caught putting gps trackers in their bras aimed at preteens. Sex traffickers are then able to track the girls and abduct them.

    He went into his daughters room and took all of her VS bras. He said he dumped them in a garbage bin behind a supermarket because he didn't want her to be tracked.
     
  30. Celemo

    Celemo Frogs Are Bitches
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    lol those are RFID chips, a lot of retail stores use those to track inventory and the range is usually limited to the store or just outside the store
     
  31. Ric Flair

    Ric Flair The Nature Boy

    The one where Neil Armstrong never landed on the moon.
     
  32. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
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    Michigan Wolverines

    He probably thinks the government plants listening devices in his cheese too
     
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  33. Lifeiskilingme79

    Lifeiskilingme79 Well-Known Member
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    That's not what Janelle on my Facebook feed is saying! Who am I to believe?!
    -My Coworker
    -Probably
     
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  34. BrickTamland

    BrickTamland You're not Ron...
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    Thank you for your service.

    Re: OP, I always knew the QAnon thing was a bunch of lunatics, but apparently they’re even more insane that I imagined. Think I read they believe Trump is protecting the world from cannibalism, zombies, or something like an alien invasion?
     
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  35. racer

    racer Better call Saul!
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    That Target has 20 year old toys hiding under the bottom shelves.
     
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  36. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    My favorite is the people who won't have an Echo or Google Home in their house because they don't want to be spied on but carry a smart phone in their pocket everywhere they go.
     
  37. electronic

    electronic It’s satire!
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    Oh goddamnit.
     
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  38. Nandor the Relentless

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    What?
     
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  39. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    Update, had to refresh myself on the deets.

    It's actually that there were several office cabinets that came out with the same first names as missing kids and the theory, from QAnon, is that you'd buy one of these cabinets and the abducted kid would be inside of it for the liberals to make sex to.

    Plus, hey, a great cabinet.
     
  40. Butthead

    Butthead uh hu hu hu
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    That's not very nice
     
  41. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    What I want to know is what if you just wanted a cabinet but unwittingly were also delivered a child? What's the return policy on that?
     
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  42. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    It's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. Even without other collateral conspiratorial anecdotes, it forever paints QAnon people as complete, end-stage morons.
     
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  43. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    "Hello Wayfair customer service how may I help you?"
    "Um, this is Frank from Buffalo Wild Wings. Um, I have a really strange problem here. See we're building this new location so I ordered these industrial cabinets from you but there's this kid inside like some sort of stray dog. Did you all put him in here or was he a stowaway at the post office or something?"
     
  44. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    "How much of my bill was for Aidan and can I return him to his mother or something and get a refund?"
     
  45. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Secondly, if I’m Frank from
    BW’s, I’m immediately calling whoever ordered furnishings and questioning their budget skills. “Really, Janet? $19,000 for ONE cabinet?”
     
  46. racer

    racer Better call Saul!
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    Some new thing where you got to target and lift up the bottom shelves to find old rare toys people stashed years ago and forgot about.
     
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  47. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    I bought some $90 chinos from Banana Republic called Aidan where's the boy?
     
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  48. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    Nebraska CornhuskersBig 8 Conference

    "Alright yes Frank I'll send you an updated itemized invoice for your purchase. Yes, right. Cabinets were $12,000 and Aidan was $7,000 so you'll see that refund on your credit card but it will take 3-5 business days. Right. You have a nice day too and thank you for shopping at Wayfair."
     
  49. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    But you're going to have to purchase a cheaper cabinet for the return shipment of Aidan. This cabinet is the "Nadia"
     
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  50. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    The funniest thing to me is that like, imagine being a retailer but your prices being so exorbitant that the only logical explanation to a group of people is that you must also be selling children along with your product. Pretty sure Wayfair's statement denying it also had to defend their pricing because of this whole deal :pffft::ded: