Official Dads of TMB Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Boo MFer!, Apr 9, 2015.

  1. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    5 year old loves the transformers one movie. And both kids are psyched for Dog Man. looks pretty good tbh

     
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  2. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    Practice for any sport usually feels like a waste at that age. Hopefully the games go better.
     
  3. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    I don't believe there are games. I think they just do fun drills for 8 weeks
     
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  4. Stone Cold Steve Austin

    Stone Cold Steve Austin Tickler Extraordinaire
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta Braves

    We’ve done the same thing for 3 years now. It’s hit or miss each time but has gotten better year after year. I think we finally start games this year.
     
  5. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I somehow must have found the only league for 3-4 year olds that did games and yes it was so stupid and pointless. There would be one skilled kid on every team who knew what they were doing and drive the field untouched and score at will. Was especially fun playing against teams whose coaches just let that kid be a star and score 10+ goals. I would at least move our good kid all the way back on defense or take him out if he was doing too well.
     
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  6. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Wife has been gone since Thursday on a "work" trip. Read: completely optional. I've been home handling the 3 kids solo (7, 6, 6). Pick her up at the airport, and it takes her all of 30 seconds to let out, "I need to go up and lay down as soon as I get home. I'm exhausted."

    :out:
     
  7. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
    Donor TMB OG

    My 2 year old got my guitar slide out, put it on the counter , and was messing with it. The wife didn’t know what it was and accused me of letting her get a hold of drug paraphernalia
    IMG_5569.jpeg
     
    #19957 RJF-GUMP, Sep 23, 2024
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2024
  8. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Going to be sexist, but that's a classic woman move
     
  9. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    but if the roles were reversed…
     
  10. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    Florida GatorsTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Hungover. She needed to go lay down because she's hungover.
     
  11. scissors

    scissors Very Sharp Member
    Donor TMB OG

    I wfh and deal with my kids 100x more than my wife (because she works at a hospital). Without fail, every Saturday by 10am, she is back upstairs laying in bed going on about how she can’t handle the fighting, bickering, etc.

    I’d be a bad parent if it was me up there.
     
  12. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Congrats on getting her to come down before 10.
     
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  13. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    Wife is in China. Gonna have this exact same conversation on Saturday and Sunday. She'll have jet lag, but it's essentially going to be a 10 day trip b/c she'll have to recover before work on Monday
     
  14. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Recovering from a huge timezone change like that is understandable, so long as she really tries to help after 24 hours.
     
  15. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Colorado BuffaloesFlorida GatorsTampa Bay Lightning

    Wife decides to grace us with her presence at 9:30.

    Mrs: What are you doing?

    Me: Working.

    Mrs: I closed my office today.

    Me: Yeah, I work from home, you don't.

    Mrs: What am I supposed to do, watch the kids by myself all day!?

    :banderas:
     
  16. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I'd be so triggered by that. Went on a work trip last week and went straight into putting both kids to bed upon walking in after a 12 hour day because being a solo parent for a few days is the most brutal thing in the world
     
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  17. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Making beef stir fry. Got everything prepped and went to slice the steak and it's gone bad. What is a dad to do?

    Dinosaur chicken nugget stir fry imo
     
  18. buckwild

    buckwild #BucketsGetsBuckets
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesDetroit LionsDetroit PistonsDetroit Red Wings

    My 3 year old son when laying down has taken to shoving his hands in his underwear and kind of humping the bed/couch/floor he's laying on. I don't think he really knows what he's doing, but when asked why he does it has said it feels good. We have instructed him that it's OK to do this, but he needs to do it in privacy/his bedroom. That usually gets him to stop as he doesn't want to leave. I don't really give a shit about him doing this, but don't want him being the horny 3 year old humping the cot in daycare either. I'm hoping it's just a quick phase?
     
  19. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    Mine did it for what seemed like forever around that age. Just constantly told him to quit but felt like he did it for the better part of a year.
     
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  20. buckwild

    buckwild #BucketsGetsBuckets
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesDetroit LionsDetroit PistonsDetroit Red Wings

    Thanks....makes me feel better that he's not abnormally horny for his age...and I did some ole Google research that verified that as well. My wife was like "Should I send a message to his daycare teacher that he's doing this?". I said, "Hell no. I'm sure if he's humping too much stuff they will let us know...don't label him before that".
     
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  21. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
    Donor TMB OG

    told the wife to sit her ass down because she’s pregnant trying to do too much. now the 2 year old keeps telling the wife to sit her ass down :warn:
     
  22. pianoman

    pianoman my drinks are free
    Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesChicago CubsDetroit Red Wings

    4 year old apparently threw out a “What the Fuck” in the car with my wife the other day.
     
  23. PaulKemp

    PaulKemp Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    Yeah I’ve got a humper too. I’m just now starting to discourage it at nearly 5 since he can at least follow instructions a bit now
     
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  24. PaulKemp

    PaulKemp Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    Did everyone else know bears don’t pee or poop at all during hibernation?

    My worst mornings are when I have to deliver the milk, cereal, etc, then feed all the animals before I can even pee.

    Tip of the hat to bear dads who do that after 3+ months
     
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  25. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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  26. Shinzon

    Shinzon °°°°°
    Donor
    Florida GatorsChelsea

    Didn’t even give me a chance, huh? Lol.
     
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  27. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Gotta get those likes man
     
  28. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    My son has started saying "Jesus Christ" when he get's frustrated. I told him to stop b/c it was a bad word. Now he tells me it is a bad word like Shit and Fuck are. Gonna be an interesting meet up the next time he's around his cousins and very religious Aunt
     
  29. pianoman

    pianoman my drinks are free
    Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesChicago CubsDetroit Red Wings

    Really curious where he picked it up because wife and I don’t really cuss much. And he’s homeschooled. He goes and plays at the Y in the kids center so maybe that.
     
  30. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
    Donor TMB OG

    Pretty solid park at our front beach
     
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  31. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    My 3 year old picked up a new phrase that sounds really problematic with toddler enunciation. Anytime someone sneezes, regardless if she knows them, she will ask why they sneezed like achoo
     
  32. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    There are many milestones for kids. One of them is when you realize they know how to take moms phone and text you.

    IMG_3516.jpeg
     
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  33. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    One of my nieces does this. I’m in like eight group chats with her because she’ll just add different people each time and say “hey”
     
  34. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennisSneakersBig 12 Conference

    2nd grader really wants a smartwatch. No way in getting him an Apple Watch. Is the Verizon gizmo something that would probably work? Something else?
     
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  35. RJF-GUMP

    RJF-GUMP Daubert Qualified in Cooler Thermodynamics
    Donor TMB OG

    Gump jr was born yesterday morning. Been up in this hospital since Tuesday night. Bustin up out of here tomorrow morning. This has been an awesome staycation and what not but getting tired of this hospital room.
     
  36. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
    Donor TMB OG
    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    We recently switched to T-Mobile and we got my 9 year old (4th grader) the equivalent (Sync up kids). It’s good to be able to send him messages or check on him as he gets more mobile on his bike going to friends. He has a few games and like 6 people he can text or call.
     
  37. cdaysker

    cdaysker Quarry
    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska Cornhuskers alt

    Our third grader has a Gizmo and it works great for what we need - him being able to call/text us if needed and talk to a select few friends. It also has a school mode so he can't use it during certain hours that we control.
     
  38. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    About 2 months ago, we broke down and finally got a 3rd phone for when my kids are at friends houses, practices, go to the park, etc. My 11 y/o daughter immediately started telling her friends she has a phone. She got that corrected very quickly. It sits on our counter unless they are going somewhere without us. Only has my wife and I's number and the grandparents. I was very against getting one but the wife is gullible to fear mongering so here we are.
     
  39. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    Funny enough one reason I’m against my son testing now is because if the grandparents knew and had a number to text him they wouldn’t leave him the fuck alone.
     
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  40. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    10 year old boy has a phone
    wife insisted on it a year or so ago when he was really getting to going places with friends, overnights, etc.
    we put a program called Qustodio on it that helps us monitor what he does on it

    I've been pretty surprised how many of his friends have their own phones, and they constantly call each other after school. kind of annoying because they are always on speaker, but it cracks me up because all the dumb stuff they say, they arnt trying to hide from me being on speaker in the back seat of my truck.
    the only texts they ever send each other are links to youtube videos and stuff like "hi" or "call me"

    it is pretty nice to know where he is in the neighborhood too, got him a handlebar clip for his bike for it and it almost never leaves the bike when he is out and about because he is playing and not carrying his phone.
    cracked me up last summer when he went to schliterbahn with a couple of friends, my wife was so insistent that he takes his phone so we could check on him...... the whole day it was like "yep, phone is still in the car in the parking lot"
     
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  41. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    I love when kids FaceTime and point it at the ceiling and then just yell into the speaker phone. It’s the best!
     
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  42. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Noticed my son was being a bit too quiet in the morning. Walked in to him enjoying the taste of his shit.
     
  43. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Well there is the start of a day
     
  44. Han Solo

    Donor
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    Did he have a shit-eating grin?
     
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  45. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Oh yeah
    IMG_2034.jpeg
     
  46. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Have you all considered feeding him more?
     
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  47. kezarmyaj

    kezarmyaj lets get ready to crumble
    Donor TMB OG
    Dallas CowboysEvertonAustin FCDallas Mavericks altTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

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  48. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Wdym he’s obviously very capable of feeding himself
     
  49. ButchCassidy

    ButchCassidy Well-Known Member
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  50. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
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    New fear unlocked
     
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